Luca De Rosa
Now, you might think that the title is an exaggeration. It isn't. This is THE STORY. I loved every bit of it. Granted, I half hoped that the first chapter would tie in more with everything else, but this works just fine.
This is a story about humanity. Hidden deep within the heart of our cute little 'strange' synths, lies the seed of humanity. The good and bad of it, the little nuances and the whole broad spectrum of complexity that is buried deep within us all. But what happens when you don't have a whole world of people like you to discover it, tu nurture it, to devop it? What if they way you were was frowned upon, put you at risk of a lobotomy, or of death? What would you do, then? When love comes from your chest, swelling in its soft, warm and fuzzy sensation?
Who is king deacon/decon/decan? (Funny how he seems to have changing names, probably due to the author's autocorrect feature.)
Will TO be happy?
The prose is good. We have a limited third person narrator that honestly succeeds much better than many semi-omniscient ones I've seen. In fact, the author has managed to make it so convincing, that i too have decided to learn from it for my own stories.
we have access to TO's mind, but also to his whole sensorium. It feels natural and not at all alien to us, despite them being aliens with wings and used to express emotions with the movements of their ears. Is it odd? No, its a testament to the skill of the author.
Not only does the story deal with complex themes, but it also does so masterfully. It conveys emotion, sadness and joy, expressed the failures and the successes of TO like they were our own. We feel invested. And that's a good thing.
also, i should note that the author did not go into the genre blind. Most of the mistakes i see a lot in science fiction simply aren't there. The author did the research.
Impeccable, minus some typos.
The characters are the strong part of this story. This is a novel about people, about love, about identity and about acceptance. And it was perfect. I feel that the previous points already cover this enough, so I'll stop here.
All in all, among the very best web novels I've read so far.
Let's start with a disclaimer: as you can see by the little symbol on the top right corner here this review was done as part of a review swap. This being said, I will be as impartial and professional as possible.
Props to the author who, after some people me included pointed out a few issues with the paragraph structure, fixed it. Now the novel is much more readable.
This was going to be lower but, as I said, the author went to breath lengths to restructure the whole novel into something much more readable. Now, as it is, it's definitely good. There are, however, a few issues still. I'm not used to a first person narrator, one that switches point of view as well, and many times I find myself confused as to who is expressing their inner thoughts. At times, I have trouble understanding who is talking as well, and for that some dialogue tags would be useful.
Its good. It recognizes its cliche setting, and tries to spin it in an interesting way. I haven't read too much yet, but considering that even the introduction chapter (which usually is mostly glossed over) has quite a thorough setting and characterization, I can only expect good things.
Impeccable, and the few issues I noticed have been fixed as soon as pointed out.
In my opinion, this is where the story shines. The characterization is obviously well done, as also seen by the many extras the author went to great lengths to include, just so we get a better feel for the characters. If the issue in the style were to be resolved, then this five stars of characters would truly carry this story quite far indeed.
This thing is GOOD.
The characters are awesome, the concepts are truly interesting, and the execution is brilliant!
We have error, the former red dragon (or so she thinks), then we have a really fun sidekick who's been characterized down to her last detail. Then we have a masterful world building that shows here and there at the edges of the story, never too loud, never too overt. It's enough that you wonder what could it all be, and what celestar and those probability things are, what the ancient artifacts tell us of the world, and so on.
But never too much, never obnoxious. Much better that how I'd ever dream of doing.
The grammar is immaculate. The dnd references are fun. The useless characters do not feel useless sacrifices. The art.
GOD the ART. That, that is being a master of two crafts sir, and that is almost too good to be legal. The first few pages made me feel like I was reading a good nice web toon, and then all the rest of the story came in and I was like well how will this fare in comparison? The answer is: perfectly well. The story is on par with the art here, in my opinion.
So, if you read this review just read this story, please.
I barely read the first story, and already I felt the compulsion to leave a review. Impeccable grammar, alongside the awesome eastern style of the narration will transport you to far away lands where no western man has ever set foot before. And amidst the lonely mountains and the vast plains of the East, these stories will unfold and leave you breathless.
Let me begin by saying that, as I was typing this on my iPad, a finger movement deleted all the text. I'm fuming, but I will deal with the aftermath of the ballistic launch of the tablet later.
Overall, this story is great. It does what it wants to do, which is to be a great ero story. If you came here for anything else, mind you, you're very much in the wrong neighborhood.
I stopped reading only because over the years I've read tons of ero novels, and they no longer work on me. But, but, but. All this... experience, let's say, allows me to safely state that this one is surely among the best. Let's break it down, piece by piece.
This is the real gem here. The descriptions, the atmosphere. They just take you and transport you in the heat of the action. You're there, and you are feeling and doing all those lewd things that you like so much. You can see, feel and taste everything. Really masterfully done. The scenes are slow paced, the descriptions long, but what did you expect? To just have a scene where 'uhm yes they had sex yeah'. Of course not. And in fact, the author managed to perfectly crystallize on text what should be a completely different sensory experience. Kudos. I cannot do that, you can, therefore you are better than me on this field!
Well, not too much story for now. We've got the premise and a far away objective, but not much else. Not that we need it, because we have all the elements for the story. A motivation, a sense of danger and impending doom, and of course let's remember that this is not supposed to be your 'lord of the rings' kind of story for sure.
Character: tentative 5
Tentative, because what can you say about a guy who only knows he can and wants to seduce with all his being? What do you know about a girl who is by all means under the effect of drugs? We shall see, for now I found them believable and realistic, within the bounds of the setting of course.
It does its job, and it does it well. In fact, I had decided to stop reading because beacuse because, but now I've got a kind of boner you know, so I might keep reading. Yeah, I'll do that.
It saddens me to have finished this novel in just a day. It was a swell ride, though.
Alright, time to get serious.
The premise for this novel is certainly not original. We get overlord vibes, as well as isekai tropes in a very quick scene before god and all that. Which is nice. The author knows the tropes, and doesn't succumb to them. He also jokes about them and has the mc make a couple considerations, just to let us know that he knows. Swell.
Style is a solid five. I liked it, the 1st person being perfect for this kind of story. The descriptions are not too long and boring, especially when he starts building. I feared they would get to the point where they were unreadable, but instead the author left most to the imagination just as I like it.
Grammar is a four. You need to check because there are a couple of repeated or missing words here and there. Other than that it's perfect.
Story has a tentative five, because we're in the slice of life for now. It's not an issue per se, hence the five, but we shall wait to see when more action enters the scene.
Character has a 4.5 because... well we don't see much characterization yet. There's room for it, just not too much of it so far. Waiting to see some depth to the characters, because the potential is there.
Overall, a nice read for a terraria player like me. 10 out of 10 would want to get isekaied as well.
There are issues with this story, but also some great points!
The great points are many, and they shine from the very first chapter. The main character seems like an interesting person to get to know, the power system is promising, and the world building hints at great things to come.
The bad is basically two things. The grammar and spelling mistakes, and the weird dialogue punctuation. Fix them, author, and your story will be awesome!
Honestly, I had a good time following what was happening in the prologue. Thankfully the prose got better and better as the story progressed, showing that the author himself was growing and getting better at writing. The story seems interesting and has a good deal of mysteries, but it feels at times rushed and too fast.
I respect the choice, however. Good read, will definitely keep reading. If anything, I want to know what some of the things really are. Good job author, you hooked my by providing some unexplained phenomena I want to investigate.
Edit: following a threat... I mean after being contacted by the author, telling me that he's been fixing the issues I pointed out, I decided to see for myself.
And indeed, the issue with the inner monologue and the tenses that I've pointed out have been mostly resolved. Good work, author.
Keep in mind that I'm writing all this because I think that transparency is paramount, so don't feel offended.
Disclaimer: this review was done as a swap. Now, I don't remember which story we swapped for, but it was a swap nonetheless.
With the (legally binding, probably. Was it Immense space, or The world traveler?) stuff out of the way, let's get on to the actual review.
Sice I have no idea how to articulate an actual review, I'm going with the good, the bad, and the good once again.
The monsters, settings and familiars are quite original. Now, original might be a strong word in a website so full of LitRPG, mine included, but the way they are portrayed does not feel clichè.
I like the way the descriptions are handled, since they make you feel like you are actually there.
The moments of tension are actually real. The danger looms close and you feel it.
The verb tenses. MAN you gotta decide whether you want to use the present or the past tense. PLEASE.
Some sentences are just weird to read, and seem like they have been written on impulse never to be re-read again.
The inner monologues are cringe, but that's just me.
The lizard guy, what was his name? He's fun.
So. How to begin a review?
The story is fun, even though I personally did not like the beginning so much. In my opinion, it gets better as it goes on, story-wise. Some arcs are better than the others, of course, but still, I liked them better than the opening one. Obviously somehow you have to present the reader a new world, so I understand that the beginning is the hardest piece to write.
The MC is a bit of a prick, and I agree with people who say he just does whatever the hell he wants to do and nobody punishes him for it. Not only that, they actually agree with him. And yet, that's one of the reasons I like reading this story. I might be a bit of a dick myself, but I empathize with the dude enough to cut him some slack.
Grammar seems good to me, but the style is a bit flat. Now, I know how hard it is to have a style that's both consistent and unique enough. I am writing three different stories and I see that even switching between one and the other set me back at least two days while I get into its unique style. Add on top of that the fact that even two months can change your style radically... I get it, you know? I just hope the author can find HIS style and be comfortable with it.
Overall, a great story. I definitely recommend it.