The Walrus King
This is exactly what is says it is: a litrpg story set in a FPS. It does a good job of sticking to that while we weave through the story. It hits all the requirements.
-A lone character who knows his guns, is smart, and willing to get his hands dirty.
-Lots of guns, and gun knowledge. Why pick this rifle and not that one? Calibre, types of ammo, length of barrel, how it performs: all things that the character thinks about and considers. And he breaks them down, cleans them, does dry firing, and then sights them in. All the things you'd in real life if you were in this situation and took your guns seriously.
-A post apocalypse world. It's dangerous out there with mutants and monsters and other players. The area he starts in is very cool. Good world building.
I've read all of the chapters available and will be continuing with the storyline. Greatly enjoying it.
-Grammar is overall fine. I've found some awkward sentences or misspelled words, but not many, and not enough that it breaks my immersion.
-The characters are good. I'd like to know more about the main character, but I'll learn that as we go along. He's smart enough to avoid antagonizing people, and recognizes bad situations. But he's also polite and isn't necessarily out for himself. He isn't a dick or a bully, which is important to me in this type of story. The secondary characters are believable, but haven't gotten a lot of screen time yet.
-Story is good. We get some world building to set things up. The MC is good with guns and a knows how to shoot. Not out of line at all with millions of people living in the world today. But he's not a superman, doesn't have fancy gear, and is quite believable
-Style is first person, as you would expect from a FPS. We see things as he sees them. It works fine.
I was torn between a 4.5 and a 5.0 for overall. Yes, there are some grammar fixes, but those tend to get done over time. There are parts of story I personally would have liked to see expanded on, but maybe we get there as we get more chapters. But I realized I was nit-picking a good story. I went back and re-read a lot of parts and considered it as a whole, and really like it. Way above some others i've read. Looking forward to more chapters.
And seriously could see this as a movie. A rebel outpost built inside a massive starship that crashed into a city on a war-torn world? It would be epic.
The story is just the one chapter so far, but the tone of the story is set. We know little about any of the characters, and yet could describe them well.
There is a lot of emotion on display. Hated and contemp. Hope, love, friendship and dispair. And finally, pain, so much pain, along with bitterness and pride.
And in the middle a child is born. Great start.
The title is an example of truth in advertising. The poor boy is saddled with the 'bookworm' class, but because of a poor, (very poor, the poorest) upbringing, doesn't even know how to read yet. And yes, it actually makes sense why he has that class.
Characters are good. Even those of an antagonist you barely meet, or a guard at the gate. Motivations, morals, hopes, goals, and lots of little things give you hints about the small cast of people we've met so far.
The story gets going quickly, but isn't racing through things. The MC is quite under-powered and not getting better at any pace. I like this period in stories. We get more characterization, more story. Not just a training montage and race to a dungeon. It also isn't static and has had quite a bit of change.
Grammar was mostly good. I think I hit a couple of places with odd wording or a mis-spelled word, but not enought to break my concentration on the story, or even remember what they were.
Style was fine. When a point of veiw shifted, it was spelled out. Flashbacks were where it was appropriate. But we mainly see things from the MC point of veiw, and a bit from an antagonist. It follows along the lines of a coming of age adventure story.
I read all that was available at the time, and will be following along for what I hope is a long story.
I'm going to follow along and come back to this review in a few more chapters. At chapter 7 we are in the middle of the opening arc.
The story reads well, we have an idea of where it is going. Events unfold fairly quick. Very nice beginning and I want to follow along and see where it goes. I'm always happier when an author takes their time with a story
The style of story is good, and familiar. I don't want to spoil anything, so lets just things start out poor, get worse, and then worse again while she does something to save her father. She's in a horrible position. No special abilities and will never get them. One step away from starving, father is sick, and some people dislike her. But it looks like things will be changing soon.
Characters could use some work. We are starting to get a look at the MC, know some of the villages dislike the MC because of her clan, others because she has a habit of stealing to support herself and her father.. But not a real good feel for anyone except the MC. Part of this is the story, her father being comotose for the opening chapters.
Grammar is good, and the author is working to fix any point out.
I'm enjoying the story quite a bit, and it gets better as you read more chapters. The start is typical of the genre with a young loner getting summoned or kille and summoned to another world. He gets giving a class and his stats ans sets out to adventure.
Even here though, with a well used trope, there was good story bits. We see something of his character right at the start, and the story kicks off quickly.
He doesn't have time for some long training montage, doesn't sit and ponder his skills for a few days. Instead he runs the hell out of a wolf infested forest and gets to a town where it's safe. He may recognize the type of world that he's in, but he doesn't act like he has plot armor.
The story has nice progression. He isn't showered with dozens of special abilities, but he is getting stronger at a nice pace. This is a tricky part of progression stories. Too slow and we see the MC do the same thing over and over. Too fast and you lose track of the character as he picks up a new ability each day. Again, the story seems to hit this just right.
The MC is neither Overpowered, nor helpless and whiny. He's competent at small things, but can get overwhelmed.
If feel like I'm reviewing Goldilocks and the Three Bears :) Goldilocks looked in the first bowl and saw an overpowered jerk. She looked in the second bowl and saw a depressed, helpless idiot. But the 3rd bowl had a nice young man just starting his heroic journey and making friends.
I tend to notice bad grammar and spelling errors. There might be some in here, but I didn't see them, being quite immersed in the story.
The secondary characters are starting to show some bits of character. The MC is definitely being fleshed out.
It's a good story with a nice classic style. A heroic journey told from the veiw of the hero. I liked it enough that I binged it and just kept reading it up to the last chapter in a day.
Let me preface this review by saying I've read a lot of Litrpg and similar genres. I often enjoy the early parts of books, but lose interest as things go on. In the beginning, details matter. Every skill is used, and the numbers matter a bit. The characters struggle to get better. Then at some point they just zoom forward and that magical time is over. Hell, some stories have the the MC overpowered at the end of the first chapter, gaining levels by doing anything at all.
This is not a fast story. In fact it's very slow to develop. Much more enjoyable in my opinion. We Mannat and his parents. Learn about what he wants to do in life. We see how the world works, what level the technology is at. There is no magic, no heroes, nor rampaging monsters. It's in the title: "Everyone is Level 0". We get to see what that really means.
And then things start to slowly change. The boy starts growing up. We see how determined he is to follow in his father's footsteps. We get to meet a lot of the people in the village. The characters are a lot less one dimensional because of this. They aren't just a name.
There's a lot going on here, and it's in the small details. The witch is annoying and speaks in rambling riddles. But both the reader and the MC are slowly figuring out what she means. She's teaching the boy by making him figure things out, not by telling him.
Overall it's a good read. Grammar has a few problems here and there, but I've found that in any book. To really appreciate the story you need to read a good amount of chapters. You can't really judge it by a couple. I'm liking it more and more as I progress.
The story is fast paced. It has similarities to many other stories I have read: Conflict, and envy amount the characters, the MC is overpowered compared to his peers, everyone is striving to to get powerful and be the best, a complex but quick leveling system with lots of skills. It's the backdrop for a lot of stories, but not a complaint. I like this type of story.
The MC is a loner, at least for now, but the othre characters get some screen time so I'm going to asssume they keep coming back for later chapters. All the characters are 14-15 year old orphans training to be adventurers, so their flaws, jealousies, and hasty nature are actually pretty natural for that age group. Lots of room for growth and maturing, which i've seen a couple of hints of. So far a lot of the characters are flat, and we only know because of some little hints. This person is driven, these two quarrel a lot, this one is jealous. All of them are planning on being stars. (Again, normal. My own two 15 year olds talk about getting onto disney shows or 'just wanting to be part of a movie cast'. All kids want to be movie stars.)
Fights are fairly quick, at least at first. I expect they will have to slow down and get a bit more detailed as the MC goes from slaughtering goblins wholesale to fighting bigger monsters one on one.
The feedback I'd give is to firt of all get a proof reader. There were quite a lot of misplaced words and very awkward sentence structure. I know from experience how often I put down bad words and move on without noticing, only for my proof reader to point them out. It helps a lot.
No real comment on the story, just too early to really see the plot emerging. But we have a good base and I'll be following along to see how it goes.
Good story so far. Very fast paced. It feels like the MC is always in over her head. Forced to use her talent in bad situations for people doing bad things. Exactly the thing she shouldn't be doing if you wanted keep your head down and not be noticed. But she always has limited choices.
It's a very good fantasy story. Elements of magic and a strange world, but the criminal elements are quite familiar, making the world seem real.
This is not the typical story where the OP and confident MC knows what he is doing. Quite the opposite. :) It's a fun story about a neophyte necromancer that hasn't really managed to learn much yet and keeps turning bodies into piles of goo.
It's done in first person, which adds a quick pace to the story. The chapters roll by as he encouters low level monsters far beyond his abilities, other dungeon parties, robed cultists and a poor lost girl from earth. The humor keeps things going.
I've read lots of stories that start with 'hero with dark past' sent to 'tutorial to be tested'. Most are actually an awesome power trip for a gamer. They beat up goblins, find magic, level up quickly and get OP. Their dark past is a minor betrayal, or they are poor, or something else minor. Not in this story.
The dark past is traumatizing, and it shows in how the character reacts to things. He's a better than average fighter at the start, but has very good reasons why this is so. He's scarred inside and out. It's sometimes tough to even think about what he went through.
The 'tutorial' is a nightmare scenario. He gets stronger pretty quickly, but the fights are horrible. He's always in danger. No fancy gear, food is burnt monster, prospects of survival are poor. A real meat grinder.
Very curious to see where things go.