The Daily Diary of a Mushroom

Eh, Good grammar but story is lacking

Maybe I'm just a fantasy fan, but I could't get through this. Too much level hashing and damage hashing, less story than I'd like. Obviously that's what litRPG is, but imo take a look at dragon's wrath or the land or otherworld or awaken online or really the other big names and look at their style. Not I hit him for x damage, i gained 10 xp, he hit me for 10 damage, it's more of a dynamic experience than a structural step by step.
You have a good structure and grammar but for me that's about it. Hope this helped

Rebirth Online

Chapters are split up into decently paced paragraphs- keeps reader engaged while not being confusing.

The story is the overdone- MC is physically impaired and retreats to virtual reality.  Main reason why I dislike this fiction is that randomly, the MC goes from drinking with friends in one paragraph, to an orgy with 4 beautiful girls in the next.  Not only that, he gets the queen of the elves to fall for him, also sexing her up.  What? 

Grammar has few flaws, mostly spelling errors.  

Character is overdone.  Same as story, overdone rage-filled character.  Somehow has everything going wrong for him (broken bones, broken spine broken everything, paraplegic..) then he enters the game and is the strongest character ever.  can kill everything and anything. Gets BROKEN F-ING Class even though he's unkillable as it is.  

TL;DR- No plot to the story.  Story is the author picturing himself in a virtual reality game in which everything that he wants to happen to him, happens to him.  Random orgies, well written fights albeit OP MC always wins, Questionable and unstable MC character.  Read if this doesn't bother you as the grammar is good and the tables are well done. Author has a good grasp on the litRPG genre and how to write, but needs to understand what makes a good litRPG good.  Won't be continuing this but will read author's next work

The Iron Teeth:  A Goblin's Tale

Really enjoying your work.  

To sum it up, your pacing is good albeit a little slow compared to most of the fictions on rrl.  It does work though with the character and story line.

Story is unique, I haven't read anything quite like it.  

Grammar is almost 100%, only a few errors to be found

Character is pretty cool.  Not OP, not underpowered, just adept in his skill set.  I don't like how overconfident he is, and I'm surprised he hasn't been killed yet, but I guess that's just part of the character.

ALL IN ALL a very good read and much better than many recent litRPG reads that I've gone through with. 10/10 would buy it off amazon