Its Ruli good. The depth of Deltails provided in the imagery and descriptive language makes it a joy. By the time its finished I believe it will be a Core story of Royal Road.
Keep up the writing and puns. Look forward to the many chapters to come.
If your after a story that is a bit dark, isekai like, with rpg elements give this a go.
Some people complain about the ending because its certainly not your happy ever after but its still appropriate given what happened in the story.
There are plently of design issues in this story but the author is already well aware of them and has decided to address them in their next work rather then this one.
I am surprised this work has not had more attention from readers. I can only assume its because it was only recently written and completed. Its really impressive that this work was completed in just 6 months.
The story is not similar in any way to most works on rr. The MC may be strong but that takes a really significant back seat to the political manuevering that seems to dominate the work.
Its by no means a perfect work. Each chapters seems to have atleast a few spelling or grammer mistake hidden through out it. The MC manuevers also always seem to work in her favor. Her advantage makes sense given her history or rather possible future but not to the degree that happens.
Despite these faults, I found myself really enjoying the story and whole heartedly recommend other give it a look.
Turning to the author I look for to reading your other fictions as they are completed.
I cant say much about the story as I had to drop it. The pacing was just way too high for me. Seriously in just a few chapters there have been as many major events as most stories have in total.
In 8 super story chapters we had main MC introduction, bandits, summoning to new world, introduction of a kingdom, the MC fighting a giant army and killing the king, the MC becoming rich, the kingdoms new queen being corinated, MC stopping an assasination attempt on the new queen, and the MC discovering the source of the said assasin followed up by him stopping them. Btw thats not all I just thought to points out the major events of 8 tiny chapters with most events being a few sentences long.
Its like story points on crack.
Its an isekai that takes the piss out of other isekais.
At the time of this reviw only a bit over 30 chapters have been written. From what I have read the author has a passion and dedication to not only write but rewrite their work which is really awesome.
My bit of feedback to the author is consistency. You start this story out as a comedy, I.e demon lord taking off his head and giving to others to get them to go away. However your last couple of chapters are alot more grizzly, for instance where is the satire or humour in what happened to the younger teacher?
You seems to be doing well in writting in both styles but becareful how you balance them.
I have seen plently of interesting works which have been poorly recieved for no other reason then they promise one theme, start in that theme, and then suddenly jump into a whole other genre.
There are a number of grammer mistakes but outside of that the books awesome.
The MC is not generic, hes strong whilst not being op, he has actual motivations which are clearly defined.
The side characthers all have personality, even generic solider A has more depth then some major side characthers in other stories.
Give it a read.
Directing to the author. WRITE MORE YOU! Your work is brilliant.
Credit to tenqui for coming up with a cool starting form "virus" and different stat progress idea. Its a bit sad that it got dropped though to focus on a flesh body and generic stats.
This novel felt like tenqui reflected critically on some of the critisms for his last novel especially the idea of the main characther and his ridiculous luck. Mark whilst given the opportunity to evolve does not feel like a lucky characther and instead his growth feels alot more worked for.
Unfortunately in exchange for addressing these critism I feel other facets which I believe are more important have become much worse. Specifically repition and characther development/engagement.
Unlike our element dragon our virus starts with no other sentients to properly engage nor any options available to him outside of growing stronger. Whilst in the previous work we had theft, land purchasing, and weapon development, as well as the introduction of magic. In this we have sleep, magic, sleep, magic, check stats. Followed later by kill, kill, gather stuff which involves killing, kill with magic.
How these activities occur may vary slightly but the repetative nature of it can be really frustrating.
Because of this I would recommend tenqui previous work if you are choosing between them.
As for feedback to tenqui I would suggest very much ensuring you have more then one characther so that othere can act as the MCs foil. These dont have to be human as demonstrated by the novel "seed".
Also if you want to just focus on different ways of killing something and growing stronger you need to provide something else to provide some spice. You seem to have your monents of enjoyable comedy and silliness that may be one avenue.
Novels have different points of focus. Some prioritise comedy, others characther development, and in this novel's case the idea of a system. This is not inherently a bad thing it just means that if your looking for deep characthers or trumatic situations this is not the book for it.
Tenqui does a solid job of introducing and then building in a game like system. Whilst there is alot of technicality its kept enjoyable with the occasional bits of comedy. There is also alot of satisfaction that can be found in an OP characther who is just exploring/enoying the different aspects of a system.
Combat is very prevalent in the story but again feels like its focused on the technicality and the satisfaction that can come from exploiting loop holes or just dumb luck.
There are a few points that do need some work which is why I limited my rating.
Firstly, the final dungeon world displayed an excessive amount of repition. I get grind exists and that it was used as an opportunity to introduce the future of earth but even so it felt very repetative for the amount of new things introduced.
Secondly, I feel there was a missed opportunity in the 'invasion' tickets. The idea of invasion was a constant threat but its justification and what was involved in it felt missed. It should have been relatively simple to introduce justification for the MC to invade another world which would have allowed the idea to be explored.
Ultimately this work was enjoyable and if you can find satifaction in kingdom management and OPness give it a read.
This work is without doubt one of the best in royal road.
It does starts slow and has a number of minor grammatical mistakes but ultimately it is great.
Rachel does an excellent job in her descriptive writing so much so that you can easily picture places like the enclave in your head. That said it is her characthers which are the book's true strength.
There are atleast 3 characthers in this novel which go through proper development arcs, you can easily see how they have grown/changed. More importantly, they are engaging enough that when they experience strong emotional scenes it actual has impact.
Unfortunately this story is not actually finished. As the first book alot of plot points are left unaddressed. Rachel is working on the second book but it is on hiatus.
In terms of feedback my only suggestion is more thorough checking. There are some apps that can help with this like grammerly.
I look forward to the rest of the story, good luck with the writing!
This should not have the completed tag.
The work is still ongoing and can be found here:
With that said the story as it currently stands is really enjoyable. There are references to the previous work but they are so far quite limited outside of the characther Ruth.
If you enjoy stories where combat very much takes a side line I recommend giving this a read. Its very obvious that this work is written with alot of care and love.