Commander Kane

Commander Kane

488
Follows
18
Favorites
10
Reviews
13
Fictions
Reviews
Camp Starfall

I'd Totally Go to this Summer Camp

I greatly enjoyed this novel! A cool summer camp setting with sprinkling of demon monsters and traumitized children--a perfect story, really.

I will note that the action does not come fast. If you're one of those people who want the MC to jump into things right away, you're going to be disappointed. I'd say to give the story a chance anyway. The author does foreshadowing just right. Oddities here and there that clue you in that something isn't right. And once it gets going, it gets going. It might not be litRPG, but it's plenty fun.

The author has done right by their characters. The first 8 chapters were a really good introduction for them; we get a feel for their personality, how they interact with the world around them. Even the side cast gets some decent characterization, although some are more developed than others. I'll have to warn you, aside from the main cast (Jeremy, Allison, Natalie, and Brian), none of the characters are safe! Don't get too attached because you never know what'll happen.

Some of the chapters can be a little dialogue heavy at moments and it needs a bit of a touch-up, but otherwise, reading characters interact isn't too bad. There are a few grammar errors here and there but nothing egregious (yay for my editor brain!)

I would definitely recommend that you give this story a try! I'm honestly really glad the author came off of hiatus because reading this was a treat! I'm excited to see what nightmares are getting cooked up.


Dog Days in a Leashed World

I don't normally give out five star reviews because I don't often read stories that are just it for me, but this? This is it!

NPCs gaining sapience is always a lovely trope/genre/whatever for me and I especially love how it's portrayed here. The characters are natural, their loyalty to the pack and humurous culture is very fun to read. I'll warn you that the humor might not be for everyone. There are quite a lot of pee jokes (although they disappear by the end of arc 1).

The characters in my mind feel realistic. They have their own goals in mind and have very distinct personalities. Not one of them falls flat, each living their own lives in their own ways. (Hi-Hi can shove it tho)

The grammar and style is pretty good. No flowery prose, but it doesn't need that. No major flaws to my eyes which is saying something. I don't know if the author is new at this, but they've done a great job with their writing techniques.

There are a few criticisms I have but, as they fall mostly later in the story, i'll put them in the spoiler below

1. I wasn't a big fan of the evolution. For one, "humans with animal ears/tail" is a pretty lowbar fantasy race for me. At least it was the case for both sexes?

2. Shh's first interaction with Mo-Mo and Gert after their evolution was...poorly handled in my opinion. I don't really get why he was only suddenly noticing their sexual features after their evolution as he would've been perfectly fine noticing them as a mongrel. This isn't to say that he becomes a horndog all of a sudden but his blushing over Mo-Mo's nakedness and Gret's new noticeable freckles are eh. Why was he not noticing anything about them before?

3. Their mongrel culture kinda got lost after their evolution. It's understandable as their new kobold forms changed their way of thinking and being Big is no longer as important but they just kind of feel empty now? There's nothing that makes them truly Kobolds, if you know what I mean. They're just humans with animal features now.

 

Besides these criticisms, the story is still pretty fun! I'm looking forward to see where the story goes and hope it lasts for a good long while. Long live Boss Yip-Yap!


Bizarre Fate: An Urban Crime Xianxia (Stand Cultivation)

Style

It's decently written, I suppose. The author isn't heavy handed with the exposition -- only writing details relevant to the scene at hand -- but is often repetitive with what he tells us. It's burned into my brain now that the sects only care about certain districts since it's said every other chapter (sometimes multiple times).

Story

I'm really digging the concept. So far the 'cultivation' aspect hasn't come into play besides talking about Soul Seeds and various daos, however, the author's done a good job of showing us the abilities of more advanced/talented cultivators than the MC, so good job.

So while the cultivation aspects are rather lacking, the MC's relationship with the Brass King and the things he's forced to get into (or gets himself into) is going forward rather well. There's always a moment where something is happening, regardless of whether I like what's happening or not.

Grammer

One of Bizarre Fate's weakpoints. There are some sentences that just sound rather clunky and various errors here and there. Nothing too immersion breaking (especially for my standards) but it's definitely noticeable.

Character

Probably my least favorite part. I don't really mind any other character besides the MC and Eve.

Reading the MC is like having that one...friend, I guess? in your life that just can't seem to wrap his head around good advice. He knows that doing certain things is stupid or that he should back off but then his pride gets in the way and ruins everything. For once I don't think plot armor would be a bad thing. This story does a really good job of portraying a dumb teenager who doesn't wanna listen to people who know better than him, though. Kudos to that.

And then Eve. Eve's just a prick. Don't be like Eve.

Overall

It's a decent read. While the MC is kind of annoying, I'm looking forward to when finally decks him so hard common sense is knocked loose. I recommend if you're in the mood for a (very) light cultivation story, a deliquent cast of characters, and a loveable musclehead.

Cheers!


Dungeon Core Chat Room.

A dungeon core story that uses a bit of science-y which is...okay, I guess, but I find that stories that use such methods take forever to get anywhere. This one included. Sure, there are only 7 chapters but the pace is slogging forward.

The chat elements were nice; I wish the author used them more, since the title of the story made it seem like it was a core part. I can't really say the same for the others. The author has a habit of writing run on sentences with no periods, which makes reading the often long paragraphs a chore.

Not the best dungeon core story out there. It's okay if you like scientific experimentation but rather boring to read.


Somebody Stop Her

Seventh Graders I Can Tolerate

This one's yet another superhero story I can stand by. Middle schoolers who get into wacky shenanigans are a little cliche, but what makes it all the more fun is the existential horror that surrounds the two main characters! You have Martin, an aspiring hero do-gooder who grew up believing superheroes could do no wrong, and Alexa, a girl 'raised' by a supervillain who's been through hell and back - often multiple times a day.

Two polar opposites joined together, villain and minion, in one glorious union!

All the characters are pretty spot on, besides Martin's older sister, who's so annoying I forgot her name (it actually has more to do with my terrible memory but she's still blegh). Martin's kinda confused the whole time because no one's giving him straight answers and Alexa pulls all kinds of trickery on him, which is top-tier villain behavior, not gonna lie.

Grammar is mwah. Very few errors to be noticed! Dialogue is a little iffy, but not cringeworthy. I like the direction the story is going and how it's written. I may be biased because superhero stories are my jam, but I think this is gonna be a pretty good one.

Let's see where this goes :)


Level Up Hero!

Style

I quite like the way that it's written. There are no lame info dumps that make reading in chore; information is giving in bits in pieces and feels natural the way that it's written. The semi-frequent flashbacks are also nice and unintrusive.

Story

I love superhero stories. I love superhero stories with mixed in litRPG elements, too, so this story is perfect. The pacing is a bit rushed but not too bad. We get an insight into Sam's thoughts on what's going on so we're not left in the dark on the MC's opinion of plot elements.

Grammar

The grammar is pretty decent for an RR story. A lot better than some of the stuff I've read with little errors here and there.

Characters

They're...I won't say bland but there's little nuance to any of them. First, there's Sam who repeatedly thinks back to how much stronger and reckless he is compared to his old self - some form of self-hatred, I think, given how many times Old Sam is referenced. He's probably the most fleshed-out character, given how he doesn't really buy society's treatment of low-ranking heroes (probably because he is one) and is conflicted on how the gods treat these life and death situations he gets in as a form of entertainment (right before he dismisses it because 'they're gods and they give strength' or whatever). But that's about it.

There's a cop who's mean to him because he quit being a hero even though he had a crappy power in the beginning. There's the mysterious master who quips every chance he gets to make fun of Sam and say cringey hero stuff like 'being sad isn't for heroes because you have to hide your feelings to keep others happy' (not exactly what he says I'm just a little peeved at how such a toxic mindset is treated as a good thing). There's the girl who...I don't remember much of her but she's decent, I guess. Strong, gives to charity, all that good stuff. Barely mentioned after Sam after chapter 12 even though she's supposedly a love interest but that's fine.

All in all, it's a pretty decent story with a cool premise. The characters need a bit of work but I think it's worth the read.


Longshots

Baby, Don't Hurt Me...No More

Another superhero story! Woo-hoo!

(That's not sarcastic, by the way. I genuinely like reading superhero stories. This is one of my top five.)

Okay, so, style is great. I really like how the author handles POV switches between the two main characters, Lark and Rachel. We'd be on Lark doing something stupid (as Lark does) and then he'd be like, "Let's take a step back and see how much Rachel is being incredible" and we cut to Rachel being incredible (as she does). Super cool.

The story is wild. You get so many different powers from the earth-shattering storm that pretty much screwed everyone over and how it affects people and stuff. Author-san really knows how to make a rescue plot seem epic.

Grammar is alright; a few errors here and there with misspelled words but they're far and few between. Certainly not the worst I've seen on this site.

Characters are CRAAAZY. There are two main characters: Lark Larson and Rachel I-forget-her-last-name. I said Lark is an idiot before because he is, but it's not like, the frustrating kind of idiot. I mean, it is, sort of, but it's so pleasing to laugh at him doin' dumb stuff for dumb reasons because, well, he's Lark. Then there's Rachel who came from a super messed up family background but turned out kinda okay (we stan mentally stable female characters!) and she's just skillz but not too many skillz that it feels annoying. She and Lark make a pretty good combo with her being prepped and him being...the orb guy. There are some other characters but I'm not sure how spoiler-y it is to talk about them so I'll just say they're crazy, mostly villainous, and Shandra is best girl.

Alright, that's it for me. I'm pleased to see where this is going and I think you will, too.


Undead

Heey. That's pretty good!

I don't normally read stories about the undead or non-human in general, mostly because the MCs are always trying to become human in one way or another. This is the one thing NineKeys got right about this story: the MC doesn't remember his human life and thus has no qualms about not being human, which most non-human MCs seemed to be obsessed about.

I like how NineKeys wrote the MC as a murderhobo—because he is, honestly, and I won't convince you otherwise—but it's not in that cringy 'humanity needs to be purged' murderhobo kinda stuff. He's a ghoul. Ghouls kill humans—and each other, which is a very evident point throughout the book. And though the MC is mainly focused on protecting his mistress, there's more to the story than just kill, kill, kill!

You're presented with worries about the MC's existence from the human side characters, the absolute insanity of the mistress (I won't spoil the story, but she's a complete loon), and pretty interesting world-building. The side characters (there's, like, four that are actually sapient besides the MC) are fairly interesting as well. They're not bland tools for the MC to use-they have actual relationships with one another, care for each other, and are motivated because NineKeys took the time to actually write them as characters, despite their lack of screen time.

All in all, I think it's a pretty good story. Pretty good grammar, pretty cool characters; I'm excited to see where this goes and I hope you will too.


Burning Stars, Falling Skies

Despite what some other reviews might say, I think this story is for everyone because of one crucial thing: lizard centaurs going to space.

Now, I don't know where CoCo_P got the idea slapping the human out of centaurs and replacing them with lizards (although I'm, like, 86% I gave it to him) but it's absolutely brilliant. The whole concept of eating another sapient being to regain their memories is practically limitless, especially with how ingrained it is into the Dhajtel society.

I particularly like the way CoCo_P set up the dynamics of the society regarding bloodlines in general. I wouldn't hesitate to drop a story featuring female superiority and going on and on about how great women are, but I never got that vibe from this story. It's like in the insect kingdom, where when the partners are finished mating, the female is very likely to eat the male (of course, I'm pretty sure males are free from cannibalism as I have yet to read anything of the sort). The female characters don't brag about being female; they aren't screaming about how they're better than the males of their species. They're living their best life trying to survive in this hellish world and striving off of human memories.

I'm personally excited to see the politics playing out, especially with the social groups starting to arise and the problems they're stirring up. It's a fun read and I think you'll enjoy it.

But, of course, if you don't like the idea of an entirely female-lead story, don't get your boxers in a twist; you're getting a lizard-lead story and that's all that matters.


Polyrhythm Time -- A Bard's Tail

I really like the style. The author is slow-paced, but I like it. The MC isn't some badass by the third chapter and it's nice to see that the author is taking the time to explain things, even if it's a bit telly.

Grammar is the best I've seen on this site, not unlike work from NoDragon and few other others. There are a few problems here and there, mostly due to punctuation, but it's good.

As I said, the story is great. World ends, we're in a different dimension, drums.

Characters! The MC is a Kevin, that you must know. Now, as I myself write a Kevin, I approve the direction the author has taken this MC. Very drum-focused, probably has a little ADHD.

Then there's Alec. Alec's kinda condescending, but not in a way you'd get annoyed by him, unless you're one of the people who think every side character in the story should worship the MC. You...you'd have some problems, then.

All in all, five out of five stories, lots of updates so far, I like where this is going.