It's an entertaining read, but also very thin. Antagonists are antagonists because the story needs then to be so, rather than because there's any particular characterization that leads them to be cartoonishly evil. When the story needs someone to make a bad decision, that bad decision is made, regardless of how that fits with who the person was before. It's a perfectly fine story, just don't think about it too much and you can have a fun ride.
I loved this story, but I eventually lost track of what was going on and who all was involved. I'm not sure if it was the pacing of publication or the number of characters or the different side-plots, but I just found myself losing interest. It's a pity, because I really liked the beginning.
A few chapters in, it still hasn't grabbed me. It feels like the characters are doing things because the plot is going that direction, rather than the other way around. It's competently written as far as spelling and grammar and whatnot, but it seems like characterization is being sacrificed on the altar of moving the story along.
Style: The protagonist feels alien in its voice, not "rational", but goal driven while still being biased somewhat by its original purpose. The balance of the background makes its actions feel reasonable. The human voices feel distinctly different from the AI so even the perspective switches mostly read clearly, though there's a bit of muddiness in terms of characterization between the multiple human viewpoints.
Story: After a action-packed start, it slows down just a touch, enough to give reasonable story beats. Between the protagonist's goals and those of the other people it meets, the story feels like it's going someplace rather than meandering around. The world is very loosely described, but I imagine we'll get more context for the area as they move around.
Grammar: Solid. No significant missteps, it reads well.
Character: The human characters could do with a bit more to distinguish them. It's sometimes hard to remember which of the half-dozen people is in driver's seat of the perspective at the moment. But this is a common issue when you get a number of perspectives. I'm not sure whether it'd be better to trim the number of perspectives or what, but for me it requires a little bit of letting go of being sure of whose perspective I'm in at any given moment.
All in all, a solid read, definitely recommended.
Off of the substantial first chapter you get a number of story threads already in place this isn't a story that figures out where it's going after the first 10 chapters, it fits you up and going quick, with an extensive introduction to the protagonist and his friends and family as well. I don't know how they packed so much character and nuance into it, but I need a lot more of this story right now.
Style: It's got a very distinct style. You can feel the kid's voice, and the setting is set simply but effectively.
Story: The voice of the story is quite clear. We don't yet know where it's going, but it's definitely going places.
Grammar: No obvious errors, but beyond that, it feels good to read. The sentences flow and you're kept engaged in the story until the chapter ends.
Character: Each character has a noticable voice and perspective during the moments that we're in their heads.
Admittedly, I'm writing this review based upon the single opening chapter, but given Wizard of Woah's success with The New Humans, I have faith that this will be a great story.
And I've said everything I have to say, why won't you let me post this review, you damnable device?
The author matches the tone of Dungeon Crawler Carl pretty well, shows no grammatical or spelling errors, and gives an interesting view into a Crawler who really isn't doing so well.
It's a little sillier (I know, right?) but all in all I'd recommend it if you like DCC.
It's early days yet for this story, but I'm really looking forward to seeing where it goes. The writing is solid, the worldbuilding is good and the characters distinctive without being caricatures.
It's not unflawed, but I'm really enjoying it. It took a few chapters for it to find its stride and get past the exposition, but as Sweet Fist starts to interact with people more it's improving.
I could say why I don't like it, but I'm too bored to even try.
The first few chapters are dense, almost impenetrably so, with blue screens a-plenty, and lots of upgrades you have no context for, but it starts to smooth out a bit by chapter 8 or 9 and you get a better sense of what's going on. Definitely worth a read, and worth getting through the first half-dozen (short) chapters to see how you like it.