sunandshadow

sunandshadow

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Reviews
When Immortal Ascension Fails Time Travel to Try Again

Cute and funny yet intelligent!  I love the xianxia worldbuilding, from plant names and pill-brewing techniques to sect politics and stories from the MC' meta perspective on the fact that this world originally was the backdrop for a harem story, which she has happily derailed the second time around.  The personalities of the mc and her sidekick balance really nicely as they get to know each  other better; including an occasional scene from his pov was a good choice.


Dungeon Core Chat Room.

Atomic elements and magical elements become the toybox for a newborn dungeon core.  This version of the system doesn't give its dungeons patterns for animals or plants - they can get these from other dungeons for a price, but the system encourages them to make their own unique creations.  The MC has fun experimenting while trying to learn how to socialize with other dungeons via a chatroom.


Leftover Apocalypse

Not your average isekai, nor obviously apocalyptic

Unpredictable!  If you are looking for a story that surprises you at every turn, try this one.  As of chapter 8 I have no idea how the title applies to anything, lol, though the isekai and magic tags at least have shown up.  This story should probably be tagged psychology and PTSD if those are tags on RR.  I like the writing style, and find the grammar quality to be good.


Monstrous Heroic Decimation

Revenge? Never heard of it. Too busy exercising

How to describe this story... a naive young man gets done dirty, repeatedly but with bits of luck here and there.  The world is a very interesting choice - it's more-or-less modern society that has grown up on a post-post-magical-apacalypse xianxia world.  There are corrupt government officials handing out whim death, but also some earnest and kindly teachers, secret superhero parents, magical monsters, and then the main character spends a while trapped in Portal... that should be vague enough not to be a spoiler.

Fun story as long as you don't mind the mc being mostly clueless. :)


An Outcast In Another World (Subtitle: Is 'Insanity' A Racial Trait?)

Great characterization, a mysterious plague and some probably unrelated mysterious history, as well as some nicely not-cliche elves and pretty fantasy scenery. Followed :)  Female elf probably being set up as a love interest, which, eh, I would have personally preferred the high level male elf, but the girl seems to have an ok personality (and a bigass sword).


Respawn Condition: Trash Mob

Who IS that MC with the amorphous soul?

Although I have rated character and story as the weak areas of Respawn Condition: Trash Mob, I want to make clear that the difficulties here are directly caused by the MC's memory problems combined with the fact that the MC often either physically can't talk or can't understand human-speak.  These aren't bad story-design choices; they contribute to Respawn Condition's great style.  They just make the plot advance slowly because the MC regularly forgets clues they have previously noticed and contextual information they have learned.  Not to mention the fact that the MC's personality doesn't have a solid foundation but is instead slanted by each new life makes it challenging for readers to really understand the MC's essence as a character.  It's an interesting challenge, but does overall reduce reader empathy.  I do feel that the current place in the story has had too many male incarnations in a row, because the gender flexibility of the MC was one of the first traits I really noticed and liked about them in the first arc of the story.

That said, I don't like the thief.  I like sister slime, the goblins, Piotr, I'm frustrated that the plot seems to be opposed to the MC's personal growth.  I like it when the MC has a spiritual or philosophical epiphany, but then the MC seems to get punished into forgetfulness. To show how the plot progression is sort of fighting itself as well: the mystery of the dungeon's turbulent past and the hero cultists is one of my favorite parts of the story, but the MC has been hurried and/or killed past two different places that would have been perfect for finding out more about that plot thread so far.  So that's also frustrating.  I was eagerly expecting the stained glass windows in the church to turn out to be a clue related to this, but it turned out not to be, as far as I could tell.

Grammar, not to much to say here; it's quite good except for the occassional mix-up of similar sounding words, and the fact that "tell you what" always compels me to mentally 'correct' it to "I tell you what".  That last thing might be just me though.

Style, I am freaking impressed with the atmospherics and themes here.  This story is right on the edge of being too traumatic for my personal tolerance, but it's all quite artistic or philosophical trauma that doesn't feel gratuitous.  (Except maybe the moral of being an ooze didn't quite fit with the story's other themes; not quite sure if that was intended to build on the rats or not.)


The Runesmith

Crafting Fantasy with an antisocial MC

This is a story that is currently readable, and could become publishable with some rewriting to strengthen portrayl of the main character's emotions and motivations, and clear up the usual minor inconsistencies, issues of worldbuilding logic, and typos (there aren't too many of those).

The only thing I'm not sure how it should be approached in a rewrite is the apparent theme that paranoia damages your personality and lack of human interaction means you are never really happy.  Maybe the upcoming arc will have the main character realize this is actually a problem and start to change, who knows.  Even getting a pet would be better than nothing.  A minor plot issue is that his family are kind of a failed Chekov's gun.  In a rewrite I'd suggest inserting a mini arc to either keep them a relevant source of tension or resolve them as a problem the main character has basically outgrown.  Maybe put that after the mine clearing expedition.


The Humble Life of a Skill Trainer

Professional-quality writing, almost flawless

I don't usually rate stories on here because mostly if I'm reading it, it's a 4 or a 3 and a half, any lower and I just don't read it.  But this story is unusually unflawed, So I'm giving it a 4 and a half.  The core concept is excellent - in a world where skills determine wealth, rank, and even survival, and some skills are precious secrets, what would the profession of skill trainer be like, and why kind of enemies would target a skill trainer?  The world hasn't been described in a lot of detail yet, but is solid.  The main character is sane, insightful, and has a sense of humor.

The editing is pretty good, 2 or fewer things I would correct per chapter.  The writing style will probably even improve as the writer gets more comfortable with the world and inclined to add more visual and sensory detail, or make characters' ways of speaking a bit more varied.  I'm sure the plot will also gain complexity because so far it has successfully moved through a turning point and settled into into the second act (I write this as of chapter 16).