Wow, this was a treat, I used Siri to read this outload while I worked(had headphones in lol) and it is a fantastic book. This feels more like a good indie book I found on amazon more so than a book on rr. Not to be mean but most rr novels are wish fulfillment or vrmmos or litrpgs, which I really really don’t like. But when we have here is a real honest to God fantasy novel, and it doesn’t even follow normal fantasy novel tropes.
the main characters know what they are doing and it is quite refreshing to see them having a full awareness of what their actions will do, unlike most novels where the Mc is betrayed and we could have told them they were going to be betrayed in the first chap or two we have mcs that are as aware as we are. Pair this with a unique world, some really good world building and I must say this made my 10 hour shift fly by.
thank you for the read I loved it, I am going to read book two for sure.
So, one of my favorite authors is Ian rankin he is a Scottish crime novelist with a dash of mystery and slasher thrown in there for good measure, which means this novel was right up my alley. That being said I know for a fact that if you are not writing a traditional fantasy, litrpg, or vrmmo novel then royalroad may not be the place for it. People tend to not want to branch out even when the novel is particularly good.
This novel feels like one of those fun summer slasher films from the ’90s and I mean that in the best possible way. It's really good at what it does and aside from the mc’s actions near the end not lining up with her actions in the beginning this is quite the impressive work.
My only real issue is the fact that pov changes should be announced more clearly, I was confused at first with some of them but once I picked up on how it worked I was fine.
Tldr: give it a chance it is fun.
So, I am a big cyberpunk fan, I mean I have like all the classics from do androids dream of electric sheep to altered carbon and snow crash and many many more. hell my favorite manga is Appleseed and I wear a blade runner shirt almost once a week so this is right up my alley, my dark gritty alley filled with stun cigs and the corpses of electronics, sacrificed to the god known as progress, I sigh and light up, breathing in the neon smoke and holding it in my lungs until the burn inside my chest mirrors the one in my hea-
Sorry, got carried away lol, what we have here is a really well wtritten cyberpunk book(s?) that is broke up into chapter that sort of seem like episodes of a tv show, each one is self contained and this feels like a compilation, almost like how the first Witcher book was just a bunch of short stories tied together by the mc. It makes me wonder if the author will eventually make a story in this world that is a full novel.
As it stands it is a really well written cyberpunk work, and on the lighter side of the spectrum, I would say these are just somewhere between a pg movie and a pg-13 movie, we never get to the truly grissly scenes most cyberpunk stories show, though I think that is because this one is less bleak and more focused on humor and fun, and scenes like that wouldn’t have fit, seeing as those movies and books all have characters so used to violence that they are hardly fazed by it.
Well worth a read.
I enjoyed this novel, and the review i am about to write is going to make it sound like I didnt, but trust me I did. You wanted constructive criticism so I will give you some, just keep in mind I thought your novel has a good start.
So, i just finished reading the rage of dragons, it is an epic fantasy book and one of the best books i have read in the past ten years. Everyone and their dogs are praising, but not because it is a fantasy novel of spectacular craftsmanship, not because Tau is one of the most believable and driven characters I have ever read, not even because on a deeply human level I felt like I knew Tau, no, they are all talking about how the main character Tau is black , and that his people the Omehi are black. I have issues with people praising the novel for this, because I feel they are praising it for all the wrong reasons, yes the character is black, yes the Omehi are black, but that shouldn’t matter. What should matter is that the characters are amazing, well thought out and fully realized and the story is epic.
it is a trap our culture is causing us all to fall into, and it is a very thin line to walk, one that this novel is currently on the edge of. I like a character, no matter the race or gender if they are a good likable character. And while this novel has yet to get to that threshold where the color of the mc is more important than the MC’s character and actions i worry that it will soon. It just bugs me that the color of his skin keeps getting called attention to, we know he is black, you have explained that I have the image of the character in my head based on your discriptions and you don’t have to worry I wont forget he is black.
You have to be careful putting real world politics into a novel, as you risk alienating half of the people that would have read your work, I don’t say take it out, just that it is something you need to handle with care as it can and often will backfire on you.
I would suggest moving forward that you save the repeated mentioning of his skin color for moments where it would be more impactful and tasteful. Something brought up over and over again tends to wear a little thin after a time.
Now, that is enough about the politically charged issues this book has lets talk about the actual story.
this is, for all intents and purposes a iseki as most people know it. Aka transfered to another world, you know, a yankee in king Arthur’s court, or under an alien sun(or one of the millions of anime to come out in the past five years lol)
Despite it being a standard story it is quite well written, though I would suggest the use of an app like Grammarly, as there were still a few spelling mestakes, but more importantly there were some tense mestakes, and that bugged me more than anything. All in all this is a good story, you just have to be careful with how you handle situations to avoid alienating half your reading base.
Keep up the good work!
Currently there are only three chapters of this novel posted,however those three chapters are intriguing to say the least. I am not normally a fan of a normal person going to a different world sort of story or isaki as it has been popularized by anime(I do like a few like the destiny’s crucible series and a yankee in King Arthur’s court or even a princess of mars) this one so far however has kept my attention and I like the three chapters he has posted so far.
this has a high fantasy feel to it, and while we don’t know much of anything about the magic system in place personally I hope the author decides to go with a hard magic system(ala Brandon Sanderson) and not a soft magic system.
now I have explained this in other reviews so I am just going to copy and paste that part so I don’t have to write it again.
Soft magic is like Gandalf’s magic, where the rules are never explained and most of the time you don’t even know if it really is magic(like when he summons the eagles or when he saves the day at helms deep) now this adds a sense of wonder to the book but can also get tiresome as it allows all problems(or most) to be solved through the use of magic as some new spell is found to save the day or whatever.
Hard magic on the other hand is like the one ring, it has rules, it always does the same thing(Frodo puts it on and turns invisible, but also gets spotted by the eye of Sauron) this allows the author to use it in unique and clever ways but more importantly allows the magic to have flaws. Flaws are always more interesting than the magic itself, and I believe no action should not have some sort of backlash. Now I know this is just my taste but I think you should set down some ground rules and make this a hard magic system. Brandon Sanderson has some excellent lecture on the matter just look it up on YouTube (he is after all a prolific writer and the author of the storm light archives so he would know) hard magic is just so much more satisfying as the reader can puzzle things out logically and you can resolve things in a satisfying way that doesn’t feel cheep where as a soft magic system could cause this.
But that is just my opinion, I like the slow progress it is something I do in my own novel and I think it leads to a better product in the end.
i gave most of these 4 star marks as I did not have much to go on but I will raise or lower them as you post more chapters and I get to know the world and characters better.
thanks for the read, and keep up the good work.
So as the title says this reminds me of the lies of Locke Lemora(gentleman bastards series) but with more magic. this is a great thing as that is one of my favorite series. The only question I have is where are all the reviews? You have a fun work that while not the most high fantasy(this is more of a modern fantasy novel) is still is great and very well written.
the Mc has some believable if naive aspersions and it makes sense that he thinks this way given his previous way of life.
The only thing I think drags this down(that is a personal like) is the fact that this novel has a soft magic system.
in literature there are two different types of magic systems, a soft one and a hard one. An example of this would be the lord of the rings which has both soft and hard. Soft magic is like Gandalf’s magic, where the rules are never explained and most of the time you don’t even know if it really is magic(like when he summons the eagles or when he saves the day at helms deep) now this adds a sense of wonder to the book but can also get tiresome as it allows all problems(or most) to be solved through the use of magic as some new spell is found to save the day or whatever.
Hard magic on the other hand is like the one ring, it has rules, it always does the same thing(Frodo puts it on and turns invisible, but also gets spotted by the eye of Sauron) this allows the author to use it in unique and clever ways but more importantly allows the magic to have flaws. Flaws are always more interesting than the magic itself, and I believe no action should not have some sort of backlash. Now I know this is just my taste but I think you should set down some ground rules and make this a hard magic system it would make this novel a 5 out of 5 right away even for me. Brandon Sanderson has some excellent lecture on the matter just look it up on YouTube (he is after all a prolific writer and the author of the storm light archives so he would know)
i very much enjoyed this novel and will be watching it for more updates.
what we have here is a satirical fantasy adventure. It takes notes from video games and classic fantasy stories and puts them in a light hearted world that is just plain fun and funny.
the characters are all interesting with their own quirks that make them fun to read, they might not have the depth of say a Brandon Sanderson character but they are all well written and likeable enough. The interactions they have are all well written and fun.
from a dragon’s layer to other adventures this is a fun read for sure, I just wish there was more, I’ll have to wait for you to post more chapters lol.
grammar is good, a few mestakes but I think it is even better than my own writing so good job. Keep up the good work.
So, how do I- how do I discribe this? Well just like the title said this is different, and that is in no way a bad thing, rather it makes for a refreshing read, it’s almost like a serial novel.There are few authors who could pull this off, in fact the only other author I can think of that does this is andrzej sapkowski, author of the last wish(Witcher novels). He did this because the last wish was a polish episodic news paper novel with a chapter released each week and to keep readers attention each chapter needed to be a self contained story. It is a style that I love as it feels like you can hop in anywhere and it will just work and honestly it does.
this style leads to a very cool world building effect where we see the world in contridicring truths, as each character the chapters follow see things a little(or a lot lol) differently.
I hope in future episodes we will get to follow these characters again to see how they have changed and or developed over time, even if we only get to see that change by effect and not as the change is happening.
loved it more than I would have thought, can’t wait to see where this leads.
TLDR: a fantastic classic high fantasy book with a more modern writing style, if you like the classics like the wheel of time, the wizards first rule, or even the more modern inheritance cycle then you will like this one. It is well done and enjoyable and I am glad to see more people writing epic high fantasy like this.
and now for the long version lol:
overall I am giving this a five out of five, you can tell the author has read the classics and likely grew up on them like I did. This was like coming home to find mom had baked me a good hot meal after a long hard day, it just hits the spot.
The style is great, so 4.5 out of 5, I personally want a little more descriptions but people tell me I write walls of text so that’s likely only me lol.
story score 5 out of 5 what we have here is a classic hero’s tale of starting at the very bottom and working up, its tried, true and with the changes Jordan has made to the formula it works really really well.
grammar: it’s good, better than most on the site for sure.
characters: well written and rounded to an extreme, they fit the world and feel real with the MC being the highlight. Out of his depth for sure but still somehow afloat, it’s all good really well written and good.
so go read it, NOW.
It is rare, very very rare that someone changes my mind. Let me start by saying that I am not a fan of LitRpgs, in fact, I hate them, and think they are used as a shortcut, a sort of crutch that people rely on in order to not have to describe. For example, it is easier to tell someone that a person's stat went up a point, oh look he now has +1 strength, instead of describing how exactly he got stronger, etc. I thought LitRpgs all sucked, and would never or could never be good.
This novel proved me wrong.
it doesn't have too many LitRpg elements, and that is a plus if you ask me, but even should it have charts and graphs and what have you I wouldn't mind, you see the author is descriptive. So descriptive in fact that I see people complaining about the large long paragraphs and what not. You won't hear me complain about that, this is more of a novel than a web fiction, and like those it has what people refer to as info dumps, but those people are idiots who have the attention span of goldfish, who aren't entertained if there is no action going on and things are just being described.
So don't listen to them, what we have here is an isakei/Litrpg that finally finally understands that it needs to be descriptive, to have fully fleshed out characters that feel like they have a personality and their lives didn't just start when the author wrote the first page.
All in all, I am glad I found this one and will be following it to see if the author can get the three books done.