Josh_Williams

Josh_Williams

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Gamble

 I love where this is going, plot armour to me isn't something thats bad. The main character is interesting and side characters have a genuine feeling of being alive, However, I'm not sure that a month is enough for people to adapt to a frozen waste land, that's really the only plot hole I see. The plot armour is how the main character can get anything that he needs for a specific situation, this is an interesting choice from the author since he's making it purposefully hard for himself to keep the story interesting, He has to think up of specific situations and an entirely new piece of equipment or buff to correspond to that situation. E.g The mc needs to dig a hole for whatever reason, He can roll his weapon buff, or his buff buff, He could get a sword to dig with (which wouldnt work very well) but then his buff is something like earth affinity, this would be sorta boring. However if the author plays his cards right then he could make the intially boring situation into a very interesting situation. The amount of possibilities that the author has with every scenario is amazing. But at the same time you would need a very creative mind to make use of this "Plot armour."

Overall this story can continue in two ways. It either stays good and keeps going, or the author screws it up and it turns into a shit show. There is no inbetween in this type of novel (In my opinion) Definetly going to keep reading this. Very strong start.


A Snake's Life

A reincarnation story with a plot!

The start is very fast paced (after about chapter 6 or 7) He grows to massive proportions very quickly. 

After he meets his wife who he litterly became a GOD for, they argue way too much, and to be honest they are way too childish for being 150 and 50 years old. At the start of the book it also said that non-magical animals can't attack druids but then he goes and kills aurera? I think he became a magical snake at that point, but it wasn't really explained. 

Another thing is his size, for a few chapter he travels with his companions on his back, and he's supposed to be towering over trees and stuff? How do people not notice a giant snake the size of mountains destroying huge forests? Little plot hole. 

Other then that I love the story, not sure if it deserves it's popularity to be honest, feels a tiny bit rushed. But overall I personally liked the story, I love all stories (that I can read) that have an overpowered MC, who isn't a good-good pants. And this one actually has a pretty good plot.

Oh before I forget at the end of the book there is nothing explained about who the prince is, If he's actually cruel or if he actually loves ayla. All we got is a torture scene where he transforms into a blue thingy. To me that is completly useless and a waste of words since it doesn't impact the plot what so ever.

Good job! If you can polish your writing up a little and notice the plot holes I'm sure you're going to be a great writer. Keep up the effort.

(This review is of book 1 and book 2, didn't really feel a need to write two when I can do 1.)


THE HYBRID

The story was great until it was actually being made, the author dissapeared off the face of the earth like leafyishere. Some spelling errors and the females in the story kind of just gave themselves to the mc. Basically the only reason the mc had girls at all was for a wet slot, but that's the same with most stories now innit? Mc enslaved the girls and just fucked them a bunch, the girls had little to no personality and existed only to give lemons. The end, fun story to waste time but story isnt so good. It also pisses me off that the author completly dissapeared


Morph

Too early to do an advanced review, However I can say with confidence that until chapter 2 this is great. The prologue isn't confusing as is with many stories (for me atleast) and the flow of the story isn't too slow, or too fast. The grammer and spelling is flawless and the execution of the story is great as well. 


Void shifter
  1. It's too early for me to review since I'm only at chapter 6, however if I forget about this review/ don't review it at the end then this will have to do. First of all, yes, there are some grammer errors, but that doesn't make it too hard to read or anything, For me it's excusable. Now onto my main point... What the fuck is this sludge?? where the fuck did it come from???? All we know is that hes about to get raped and he gets put under a magic mindrape spell and then BOOP he has the sludge? I might have missed something but... it doesn't make sense, where does he get it from?

Edit: The start was very awkward with bad flow but by the end I was actually disappointed that it ended. Also the start was confusing since the sludge appeared out of nowhere without context before hand but later was explained. In my opinion overall a good novel


Human in a Demon's Hide

So far so good but theres not enough chapters to know what direction this novel is heading in.


I'm just an 'Ordinary' Human (MCU fanfic)

Grammer is pretty much top notch, Character development is going alright but the mc isn't really the ruthless "demon lord" that apparently decimated the human race for 2000 years that you describe him as. He's a softie, and so far until the current chapter all he's done was watch various mcu scenes from afar. Not really an entertaining volume tbh. But the direction it's going now seems fun, keep it up


Two.Point.O

Other than the characters backstory being sort of unclear, so far it's been great. The main character is supposed to be depressed, but can act charming and socially interact? I guess you can account it to acting or something, I don't really mind but felt like mentioning it. I look foward to the future of this novel.

 

Update as of XXI-: I can't believe that he/she lost the gauntlet. That absolutely sucks so much, I would prefer if it remained on 70 or even 80 and not 3. But that's really just my personal opinion. Grammer so far is good and only noticed one cosistancy or two. Great progress overall. 


I Became A Vampire In Another World

I'm going to be honest, the only reason I'm giving this even 3 stars is because I too love vampires and an OP mc. However this is so so cringy, and the mc is a little bit too naive for my liking.It also seems like this is a play instead of an adventure in a new world.It feels to me as if you don't even edit the chapters before releasing them, no planning done and feels overall rushed.Some sentances contain correct grammer and some don't. It feels to me as if the novel was written by more than 1 person since the grammer is so different from line to line. Please plan the chapter before you write it (if you already are I don't know what to say) and re-read it before releasing it, ask your self "Does this make sense?" "Should there be a comma here? fullstop here?" You could also use grammerly either, I'm not sure if grammerly is that great since I don't use it but I heard it helps. Keep in mind I'm not trying to barrate you over your english, I'm simply giving you constructive critism so you can improve your writing. Keep up the effort and I'm sure you'll be rewarded.

 

Edit:Finished reading until chapter 28, after about 10 chapters the grammer became exponentially better. I still noticed some grammer errors however, but it was a lot better. The mc is still naive however and playing into vermillions hands, basically being manipulated, but if you want to make your mc an idiot in a sense, then I can't really argue with you. The story right now is steadily going uprise. Good job on the improvement. 

Added half a star


Shaking the world

Training arc man, Confusing a bit

This has alot of potential, Dont screw it up. Grammer is great, flows smoothly. The story so far seems to be a lot of time skips, and training "arcs" aren't that good to be honest. The 3 month training is litterly just a 3 month time skip with no explanation for why it planted a seed of corruption inside our MC. All that was described was that it was "hard", and theres also no training in the academy section either. Its a bit lacking there but other than that I think the character was done well, being an anti-hero and all that I mean. I like it personally but you should probably stop with time skips and actually do the training, even if its only one or two chapters. The other thing that bothers me is I don't really get why lila is avoiding him, I get the reason but I'm not sure if i really like it. Other than that, story is great. Don't fuck it up please.