i truly have no idea how this hasn't shown up in trending or hot yet. Just read the whole thing in a day (which was a mistake because it's exam season).
The issue i have with it are occasional moments where a character does something that seems entirely counterintuitive to what you'd expect this character to do in this situation (though this only happens about 3-4 times up untill chapter 94)
Honestly the story and the idea is good, i'd give it a 4.5/5. However the grammar is like when someone does a bad machine translation of a japanese novel so it's hard to even know what's going on 40% of the time
There's not a lot of chapters out yet (13 right now) but it's quite nice to see a one piece fanfiction that takes a different road and follows a marine instead of the classic pirate.
personally i feel like his story would stand out more had he not made the mc related to Garp in some way but i guess fanboying to that extent is unavoidable in a fanfic
So far the author seems to want the mc to increase in power accross his journey in a similar way as luffy did in one piece so expect some strength but don't expect incredible levels of OP.
grammar is pretty much perfect which is always appreciated
The general idea and direction of the story are pretty good, however that word "general" is the issue here. Too much of the story is glossed over with barely any attention to detail. The worldbuilding is nonexistent
i can see you've read your fair share of japanese novels in your writing style. However you tend to overuse the "haaa~" sigh and the "oh well" and most of all: the laughture. Your characters are maniacally laughing just a bit too often.
At the start you also rip of SAO, The Gamer and LMS just a bit too obviously
minor grammar errors that occasionally start getting annoying, but all around great story whilst going trough it (4 stars) and then you arrive at around chapter 50 and you just get body slammed and it goes up to 5 stars
personally at chapter 3 i was getting so tired of the repeats of "me your father" that i was just about ready to drop this. To my pleasant surprise the author's style vastly improves past chapter 3-5 and everything just becomes so much better
My advice to the author is to tweak the first couple chapters since if i were to base my review on those i'd give 2.5 stars compared to the 4 stars at chapter 21
the idea behind the story is not bad and the grammar is once again 'not bad' and so is the execution
it simply feels a bit... shallow
i just want to say that regardless of where you go with this story from here (currently volume 1 chapter 1 when i'm writing this) i feel like you've earned this rating simply for chapter 1 of the prologue. That song and his memories of his mother really managed to shape the mc.
It's a nice twist to the zombie survival + game system and i like the story quite a lot.
However i feel like you rush some parts a bit too much. Perhaps add a bit of conversation and familarisation because right now i feel like the survivors that joined him are too trusting and illogical even if he saved them