So like the title says. I found it really hard to stay focused up untill Tommy actually starts at the school, and even then it was slow. However I was between new reads and never disliked it enough to close the tab.
Boy am I glad now. I said "awww" out loud more then once. Some of the Big Plot Points seem to be really odd, and the interludes are odd still but I am loving spendi g time with Tommy.
Its a fun story but its also very clunky. Could do with some real dedicated editing if you want it to last. The idea is sound and I can see some of your fun in writing this story coming through but some of the mistakes kept pulling me out of the world.
This was a BLAST to read. The system felt fleshed out, the aliens unique but understandable, the collective vast and vibrant. The MC, his family and his ai all felt as real as my own, and i busted out laughing several times, as well as having my heart strings pulled when it was right. Couldnt recommended this story enough.
Overall the short bits and frequent PoV changes make this story very easy to binge. Its also a new flavor on what id call the shopkeep trope focusing on games, specifically minecraft right now.
Those are the pros.
The cons are the reletive inexperience of the author and the problems that arise from that. Weird grammer and stilted dialoge leave a good bit to be desired, but inspite of that the premise is entiving and fun enough that i want to keep reading even if i get pulled out of the story.
I read chapter one and my heart is growing like the grinche's already. I love lucky and love the love luck has for Girl. Who doesnt love the idea of the secret life of pets? Mixed with rpg apocalypse this is My Jam. I fully expect this to be one of my top reads on this site and with how much I read thats no small feat.
Its been a not so great bit for the last... fifteen or so chapters for me. It feels less planned and poorly written. The dialoge went from good to feeling like a bad memory of a worse translation of a thirdstring anime. I did love the start. The special potions, the unique effects, the growth of the shop system. Maybe I only liked it because the mc didnt have to much dialoge yet though....
Been great writing so far, very clear and flows well, with charcters that feel like real people. No grammar stuff that ive noticed in my limited experience.
And the world while... small for now has a shadow of how big and interesting it will be and I got to say i am very excited to see more.
Its been wonderful. Read the first try and it was good and engaging but had a few problems stopping ot from being great. This rewrite has cleared up all the pitfalls I could see in the last one. I've been checking for a new chapter roughly every hour today so CLEARLY im hooked
I am... rather easy to please. I can forgive a lot if its a story about magic schools or dragons. Thankfully with this stpry I dont need to. Still early but already has a well fleshed outmc that I care about and if anything were to happen to tiberius Id do the Rosa meme from Brooklyn99
Its a decent story in my opinion, except I think all three party memebers the mc meets are annoying 2d cut outs that I cant look past. The premise is interesting and id love to see how he changes the world with his boons but I can not keep reading after meeting what I expect are permanent party members.