Opinions on Blurb?
"Tassendile is a country where magic and firearms are used side by side, humans exist beside bizarre creatures, and the four moons grant people incredible powers. For two thousand years, Vashiil, the malevolent Black Moon, has been imprisoned in the Graylands. It is the job of the Gray Rangers to patrol this cursed dimension and ensure that it and its minions never escape. They have only one law: never fall to Vashiil’s temptation. Never use its power. Kulgan was found guilty of that sin, and has been on the run from justice ever since. Now, after years of exile, the kidnapped daughter of a powerful governor may be able to give his life meaning again. Spoiled and petulant, the young lady Adlis is so desperate that she will accept help from anyone to get home. Even someone like Kulgan."
1. Rangers patrol some evil lands.
2. Kulgan, a former ranger, was corrupted by said evil and is now on the run.
3. A young lady who isn't cut out for danger will pair up with him.
The first sentence doesn't directly relate to the second, or to the three points. I'd say it's probably fine as it is, but opening with a description of a world outside of the main setting confused me a little.
7/11/2017 4:02:24 AMFullxTilt Wrote: [ -> ]The first sentence doesn't directly relate to the second, or to the three points. I'd say it's probably fine as it is, but opening with a description of a world outside of the main setting confused me a little.
I put the first sentence in there to give people an idea what kind of world it takes place in. It's a western/cowbow-ish world, and I hope that'll attract attention since most fantasy settings these days just copy Lord of the Rings.