*Yawn*

That was a nice nap. I wonder what happened. I don’t remember falling asleep, but here I am, waking up in a green field. This tall grass is quite comfortable…

Wait a sec. Don’t tell me I off’d myself by overworking on college stuff. That can’t be possible, right? I mean, chronic lack of regular sleep can’t kill you. I think.

…

Bah, screw it. I’m here now, in a comfortable meadow, with a gun holstered to my hip, and now loose clothes as my fat has been miraculously replaced with muscle, and I’ve got a couple spare clips to go with the pistol, some food supplies, a couple of my dice in my pocket, and not much else, and…

HOLY SHIT I HAVE MUSCLES!

Are, are those… Abs? And pecs? Let’s see what they look like underneath this shirt.

*poke*

Ooh, they’re awesome… My god. Even my butt. I have no idea what’s happened to me other than possibly dying or this is all a dream. In any event, let’s enjoy this moment for however long it lasts!

*awesome muscle flexing pose is awesome*

“Kyaah!”

“Huh? Who’s there?” Behind me, I hear the tall grass rustling so I turn around. What I find is a girl trying to hide her face while forgetting about her back…

“I can see you.” She has a katana strapped to her waist along with a few other bladed implements and tools.

“No you can’t.”

“But you just spoke… If you’re trying to hide, one doesn’t usually speak to the one they’re hiding from. Ahem, could you please get up now? I don’t mean to be rude, but your skirt is flipped over.” Hehe, kuma-kuma. Whoops. I’m getting distracted again. Focus Jonno. You know nothing save for the fact that you’re alive.

“Eep!” She starts up and smooths down the folds of her clothes, her face flushed. I guess it would be rude of me to tease her so let’s change the subject.

“Well then. Pardon the late introduction, I am Jon. Might I know your name, miss?”

Clearing her throat, she replies, “I am known as Sin, pronounced as ‘seen’.”

“Nice to meet you, Sin. As you can see, I just woke up and have no idea where I am or what is going on. Could you please fill me in on any of this?” Seriously, I’m clueless. I’ve got a gun, I’ve become ripped, and a cute girl was watching over me as I slept. The last part is a tad creepy, but I’ll let it slide because she’s cute and seems trustworthy… It’s not just because she’s cute and has all the right curves and she’s cute. I swear…

“About that, you and several others have been transported to our world through various circumstances. Some have died as you have,” aw shit. I knew that was coming, “while others have reincarnated or were transported. In any event, you and the other males have been chosen to participate in the Harem Wars, enacted every few years. You see, our world is inhabited only by maidens and our goddess, Darklay-Moer, created this tradition so that we might know love through the most righteous of men. Often times, only one victor man is left to share amongst us all and a few of us never feel the warmth of a lover due to some unfortunate ‘accidents’ along the way, but that is the way of the world.” That’s a bit messed up...

“The strong devour the weak, after all. And if the males are incapable of surviving the Harem War, they are unfit to receive our affections. So, Jon, take up your gun, raise all the flags, and eliminate your opposition as my master.”

Huh, makes perfect sense when she says it like that… “Wait a sec, wut? This is all a bit beyond me at the moment. I just want to enjoy life. Can’t I just, you know, find a cozy little home and live out my life in peace?” I think I’m a little lost now. Too much, too fast.

“Don’t forget about me as your wife.”

“Yes, yes. With you as my wife… What? No! Don’t put words into my mouth (though i’m not really against it). But since when was it decided that you were my wife? No, even before that, how am I your master?”

“You are the first to see through my stealth so you are worthy of becoming my master!” She exclaims while doing a victory pose. Oh god, the jiggle physics are so enticing. Gah! Focus, me! Also, I think whoever interacted with her before was just doing it to humor her as they didn’t want to break her heart. She seems so innocent and nice, too.

“Sigh, I see that I can’t get out of this. Is there any way to live my life in relative peace and enjoy living as it is without participating in this screwed up death game?”

“Nope!” She bounces in place and there go the jiggle physics again…

“Fine. Let’s get this over with. We’ll do this my way and I’ll need your help.”

“Don’t worry, I exist for my master. Now let’s get on with the shooting!” Sigh, this girl.

“Okay then. First off, how many other people are there, males that is, and how does this Harem War work?”

“There are ten others on this island who have currently spread out away from here, each with another maiden. As for how this game works, you can shoot another man, shoot a blank (shoot air), or be the ultimate macho and shoot yourself. If you manage to pull that last one off and another man was shooting at you, they’ll get hit instead of yourself. If not, you’ll leave yourself open and make me disappointed in you.” So, that makes ten others so my lucky dice can help out and I don’t care how the mechanics work all that much… Let’s play it safe for now.

“Oh, and I forgot to mention that each of us maidens has a special ability. Mine is [assassinate +2dmg] and [silence +2mute].” Now that’s interesting. Oh well, maybe I can use those later. Taking out my lucky 1D20, I’m gonna decide who to shoot based on direction.

“Here’s the deal. I’m gonna load up a clip, roll this die, then pick a direction based on that number. I’ll need you to direct my aim. Can you aim me so that the man closest to that direction is hit?”

“Can do, master!”

“Thanks.” And a one, and a two, and a three… Roll! “Seven. It’s a seven. That means…” I spin around, “thatta way.”

Coming up behind me, she wraps her arms around, and two soft mountains press up against me (imagine you’re in the mountains and attaining enlightenment. No! Not that way! Like a monk, you perv!) Once I’m lined up, she asks, “Are you ready?”

I nod.

“On the count of three. One… Two… Three.”

*Click*

“Click? Ooh, silly me. I forgot to turn off the safety. Let me take care of that.”

“Don’t hold it like that! You’re gonna-” *BLAM*

[Turn end]

Ugh my head, Damn it...
Where the hell am I?
Oh, I died.
Well I probably deserved it, what'd I die from...?
Russian roulette? No...
Poison Russian roulette? No...
Duel reenactment? No...

Oh Oh god, did I die from a massive shit on the toilet??? THATS FUCKING LAME.
Oh wait that wasn't it.

Oh, it was them... funny, you win the lottery and suddenly your friends forget that murder is a bad thing... I'd like to kill them... slowly... fuck people.

I've never been much of a holy man, however at this moment the rage kind of overwhelmed my senses, kneeling to the ground, placing my head upon it i began to pray.

"I pledge my life to vengeance... may those who kill me die 10 times again, may those who harm those i respect die a thousand times."

"I am the aspect of vengeance from Darklay moer, and I accept your prayers, rise young avenger... take this gun and this companion."

"I'll take the gun... but screw the companion, I don't need people."

the fluttering of a violet cape announced the presence of a girl with long snow-white hair and blood red eyes.

"I'll take the screwing, but you're not gonna be rid of me, idiot." she declared crossing her arms.

"No, I'd rather not deal with you." I said grumpily

"I'll never betray you so long as I live." she responded enticingly.

"Well fuck, you say that so easily I'm guessing I don't have long to live." I responded

"Without me you'll be dead within a week." she calmly assured me.

"Well then, I'd rather not be dead within a week, why're you important?" I responded

"Eh, some 10 other fucks're here, 1 of them might even be one of your friends... anyways kill some of em and you get their girls too, I'm here to help you claim victory and then return to your world as a god among men to slaughter your friends before becoming a straight god... literally, with a harem included."

"Seems legit." I responded.

"Right? Now we can, Shoot some-one, shoot ourselves, shoot the air." she commented.

"Anything special, I mean being a dumbass and shooting myself sounds great and all, but is there anything you can de specifically?" i questioned

"Ah yea, I can make shooting yourself REALLY hurt someone trying to shoot you... I can also make it that shooting air will really hurt any dumbass who shoots themselves for no good reason."

"You have an ability that causes a bullet in the air to stay in the air until someone's stupid enough to shoot themselves?" I asked "wait... WHO ARE YOU?"

Face palming she responded with "Elize bloodthorn."

"Ah great, I'm Sexy." I respond

She started purveying me up and down, I had responded sarcastically but looked down to realize that I was somehow a hunk of a man... I whistled through my teeth, apparently, death had benefits.

"Hello sexy, so you wanted to screw earlier?" Elize said coquettishly.

taking the gun I said "Oh yeah I have a lot of buildup I'd love to shoot off into the air..." and smiled.

her lips curved sensually in response saying "Oh yes lets get fucking." before she started to shine enhancing the bullet that was now flying into the air.