Members, attempt review by 09/28 for Paradox Fighters

#1
Here's the fiction link

http://royalroadl.com/fiction/2397

Here are questions to consider or attempt to fill out.

Spoiler :

If at any point you stop reading this fiction, cite why here:


Provide a brief impression of the blurb on the fiction page:


Provide a brief impression of just the first chapter (Or first 2-3 if they are extremely short):


If you reached the end willingly, what were unanswered issues do you recall:


If the story follows a main character, tell us what stood out about them:


What about this story feels stereotypical or trope filled to you:


What about the writing style did you enjoy? Provide specifics:


What about the writing style did you dislike? Provide specifics:


Were they any lines that amused you for any reason? Cite them below:


What about the setting bothered you? Be specific:


Tell us the most attractive thing about this story to you:


It is expected that each member do what they can and nothing more. If your desire is to tear apart the fiction for flaws, do so. If you are unable to read it because of the cover or blurb, say so. Provide feedback on any and everything you find yourself willing to suffer through.

Members are NOT to post actual reviews to the fictions at hand, please provide commentary within this thread.

This fiction was already reviewed under the old [The Group] system. You can reference that review on the fiction page - it's by me. I will not be saying much since per the author it hasn't really changed.

Thank you.

RE: Members, attempt review by 09/28 for Paradox Fighters

#2
When I saw him request a new review I read into the story last night. 

So I have read through the first three chapters of the story before looking at the previous review The Group posted.

I will say the review was spot on from what I have read. A story is like a meal, if you don't like the first bite you won't stay for desert or come back again. The story has a very specific focus, and that focus is 'stories the author has read'. Unfortunately this set of stories does not match up with everyone. I have never read Artemis Fowl, so all the knowledge and background that would come from that is not there to supplement the character. There is a reason in fan fiction it is description light, since it assumes the readers know the background and appearance of the characters already.

The dialouge is strong, but without knowing the background of the characters or their motivations it makes it difficult to invest in them and follow the story. If a reader doesn't know the background of one of the main characters it will become frustrating for them.

Looking at the story a bit more after the first three chapters, the previous review was still spot on. I vote not to change anything.

RE: Members, attempt review by 09/28 for Paradox Fighters

#3
Ah... I took a stab at it, but...

Like Pelius said, you may like or dislike it just from the start. Me, I dislike. It's not a lack of knowledge that has me disliking it, as I know most of the characters stated in the first half of the story. I just... I'm not a big fan of any of those stories. As a fanfic touching upon various stories, it's most likely rare to find someone who just plain isn't a fan of them all.

If the author needs information though, I can provide my 2 cents of what I read. For starters, the paragraphs and writing style looks neat and well done. Whether the author only edited his first chapter or all of them isn't known, but at least it isn't a hastily written fanfic.

Holly Short, while not the real main character of the Artemis Fowl series, is probably the best way to start such a fanfic. She's serious, has an investigator's background, and can probably adapt to weird situations the easiest. I see no problems with the author starting from her eyes instead of any of the other characters introduced. I'm really glad the author avoided Harry Potter, Katniss, or Tris, all three of which don't really seem like leader-type characters to me, even with their supposed roles in their own stories.


Having a large cast thrown out right in the first chapter is the largest problem and the reason I quit. Too much information, not enough time for us to get used to just Holly, nevermind all these main characters.

I'm just not in the position to enjoy a fanfic right now. It's something for people starting on web novels, but I've outgrown them... >.>