Non-native speaker here. Can anyone check in my writting is "good enough/natural"?

I'm not a native English speaker and I've never been to an English speaking country, so I have zero idea if the way a write seems natural to someone who is a native.

Now I'm not asking for a full review. I just wanna check if my grammar is "good enough" so I can continue writting. I guess just reading a few paragraphs should be enough for a basic assessment.


My story: