Writing style has changed...

I've been reading a lot of web novels, and I also work as a Technical Writer. My writing style has changed from being full of prose to choppy short sentences.

I hope some others have experienced a drastic change in their writing style before.

I don't even know if it's wrong. I personally like it since it gets to the point quickly. Honestly, I just need someone to tell me whether it's alright or if I should start using more prose.

Example of "choppy short sentences":

Spoiler :

There was a moment of stillness as Father’s eyes widened and his heart slowed down. His vision seemed to darken from all sides until he almost fainted.


He would not faint. There was determination, and he beat back these strange new feelings putting one foot in front of the other.

Then he ran.

Father didn’t know where he was going, but he knew he had to find Skye. After all, children without a father would have to fend for themselves. And those children would die. Skye was too weak to fight.

Father didn’t find Skye that day. Or the next.

His patience had long grown thin, and the children who came to try playing with him were given a sharp slap or a hard kick.

They didn’t bother him again.

Days and nights passed in a flash. It seemed they were getting shorter, but Father was too distracted to care. He could not stop.

Father felt more emotions these days. Disbelief. Dismay. Dread. Despair. Depression.

It was never-ending. And then he felt empty. But still, he continued running for days on end, looking everywhere for Skye.

Then he found her.

She was sleeping on another tree.

All this time, she had been fine. His thoughts had become dark. He thought that he had failed at being a Father. But now, he found her again. He would never let such a thing happen.

“Oh, your big dummy!” Father cried as he sat on the tree branch, squeezing Skye against him.

Skye, for her part, gave out a strangled cry as she wailed, and tears fell down her cheeks. Surely trying to hold back her tears of happiness.

Re: Writing style has changed...

It depends on what tone you're going for. In the example you gave it was fine, because the tone of the work is quick and agitated. But if you were writing about someone strolling through a field while watching clouds float by, this style would be bad. So the answer to "is this good or bad" is "yes".

But yeah, my style tends to change based on what I've been reading. If it gets too drastic I just edit it later, but I think the only person who can really tell is me. It also changes depending on how stressed I am about anything, who I've been hanging out with a lot, and what cool new thing I've discovered about formatting. 

Don't worry about style changes too much. Just roll with it and learn as much as you can.

Re: Writing style has changed...

I'd say the key is finding your rhythm for the story.  If you have too many short sentences, I'd recommend mashing a couple together to see how they fit.  I have a similar but opposite problem, where I want to write really long sentences.  I've found the best solution is to cut them.  Keep it short.  Then switch a bit back and forth, to keep things interesting.

Long story short, sentence structure can have a main type.  Just remember to throw in some curve balls to keep the flow engaging!

Re: Writing style has changed...

Your voice is just changing. It happens. We all have our quirks. It's not a matter of whether the style is good or bad; it's a matter of writing that style well.

I think your example is fine for the most part. I'd recommend you keep playing around with the rhythm and length, but there's nothing wrong with it as a foundation.

Btw, this is still prose. Long sentence, short sentence, it's all prose. The word you're looking for is "flowery," which your prose definitely isn't. And, again, that's fine. Hemingway is probably the most famous American writer of the 20th century, and he made his entire career off "simple" prose, though I definitely wouldn't describe it as "choppy." Maybe read him and other writers like him to see how they use a similar style.

Re: Writing style has changed...

This is a great start description to the theory of "cringe", where ones voice drastically changes, and they know it changes, yet are afraid to reread and edit there early stuff, because, after all, "I, ME? Wrote THAT? YUCK!"
Anyways, My tip is to read it out loud,(TTS) and if it sounds good, then accept it. 

Re: Writing style has changed...

You're evolving as a writer, and your voice is developing toward its final form. This isn't a bad thing, or necessarily a good thing, it's just a thing that happens. If you like it, the phase will stick around longer. If you hate it, then your writer brain will evolve more quickly to find something you do like. This happens to all writers, sometimes as a result of a "level up" about to happen, sometimes because their reading has also changed, and sometimes it's just because.

Your example is fine. It's a little light on description, but for some genres that's not a dealbreaker. The important thing to be wary of is a style that leads to monotony. If every sentences has five words, or is structured the same way, your readers will get lulled sleep.

Re: Writing style has changed...

1. For webfiction it's a good thing to keep your paragraphs fairly short. Most people read it on their phones and it's VERY intimidating to see a huge block of words staring at you when you have only 2 minutes left on break.

2. I had a similar thing happen. I started out using lots of descriptions (because that's what I read). Then I started learning copywriting, most of which relies on shorter to-the-point writing, and suddenly my fiction paragraphs started getting shorter. I decided I liked it MUCH better and haven't tried to correct it.

So, if you like it, go with it.

3. I don't think it's a bad thing to write like this. Especially if the scene is very 'go, go, go'. It would slow down the reader if they had to stop and read a description about the murals on the walls if they're in the middle of an intense battle of wits with the sun god. :) Mostly, as others here have said, I'd pay attention to the pacing of the scene rather than trying to make the style fit a certain structure.
When you're looking for and find demon secrets, unintended consequences follow you.
When you're avoiding the demon you think you despise most, you can't help falling in love. 

Re: Writing style has changed...

As others have said, voice definitely changes when you are evolving as a writer, and there's nothing wrong with it. That said, what you're describing here is pacing. While there is not a right or wrong pace to write at, and as someone else said this pace is suitable to a sort of frantic story moment, my advice is to play with pacing intentionally while you are writing. For example, if you string together a number of short sentences and sentence fragments and then build into a very long chunk of prose, it can have the effect of building those frantic moments into an intense climax. What else can you do with pacing if you control it intentionally? 

Re: Writing style has changed...

I totally understand what you mean. It might be cheating, but when I am looking for a specific type of writing, I read something similar first. I also avoid reading something that is too different from what I am writing because it can impact my voice.

It might help, depending on what you are writing to check out quotes by writers who are similar in voice to your own. Right now I am writing Rhett Remington: The Monster Bounty Hunter, so I review stuff from other writers of a similar genre to keep me in the right frame of mind. MHI, Bubba The Monster Hunter, Harry Dresden, but I would avoid things like DUNE, or Pillars of The Earth because the tone is so much more serious.

Hope that helps

Rhett Remington: The Monster Bounty Hunter (Game lit)

The morning after blowing the brains out of a half-dressed Succubus, I woke up on my couch with a full time hacker and part time Lyft drive making me coffee, a Court Bailiff at my door with a contract I can't refuse, and a whole lot of unanswered questions.

As it turns out all those monsters from the spooky stories are real. From your blood sucking vampires to the occasional big foot, there are a thousand different things that go bump in the night, and most of them want to kill you. Officially a secret, some of them are as evil as Satan himself, others just want a long-pig dinner, but either way you can be sure if you see one, it won't end well.

On the other side is the the S.C.P Bureau, the people who secure, contain, and protect  the mundane society from the worst of them, or at least that’s what’s on their business cards. Then there are contractors, the Bounty Hunters, and that’s where me and my new team come in as their newest recruits, but if I fail the paranormal interview by fire, I die.

Welcome to my world.
I’m Rhett Remington, The Monster Bounty Hunter.

Re: Writing style has changed...

Personally, I've always liked shorter, to the point sentences more than longer ones. It's something I learned back in college about conveying the information you need in a streamlined statement. 

Now that doesn't mean longer prose is bad, but I try to use them sparingly. With that said, how I am at actually DOING that is a whole other matter. 

But I don't think it's something to concerned with at all. And I like the section you posted as an example. Just enough information to let the reader know what's going on, but there's a little bit of meat to not make them go "Wait, what?"