Re: My friend and me aren’t on speaking terms because of an arc I wrote.

#21
Mad Wrote:
Xian Wrote: You and your friend really think your story is important, don't you? Tens of people could be impacted. Tens.
*cough* threetimesmorefollowersthanyouhave *cough*
I don't get in fights with my friends over the content of my stories. If a friend raged at me for something I'd written I'd calmly point out that I'm not Stephen King. I'm just a log falling in the forest and no one is there to hear it. Why get so worked up over it? It takes two people to feed a fight. If one person is angry, be the better one and step back. No need to rise to the bait. 

Re: My friend and me aren’t on speaking terms because of an arc I wrote.

#22
Knightraveness Wrote:
Xian Wrote: You and your friend really think your story is important, don't you? Tens of people could be impacted. Tens.
What a roundabout way to announce you had invalidating parents. Go get some healing dude.
No idea what you are trying to say here. I am just pointing out that this story isn't something that is bringing great fortune to the OP. It isn't something readers are surging in to read. It's just an amateur web novel. There should be NO reason for the OP or the OP's friend to feel the need to yell at each other over it. 

Re: My friend and me aren’t on speaking terms because of an arc I wrote.

#23
Xian Wrote: I don't get in fights with my friends over the content of my stories. If a friend raged at me for something I'd written I'd calmly point out that I'm not Stephen King. I'm just a log falling in the forest and no one is there to hear it. Why get so worked up over it? It takes two people to feed a fight. If one person is angry, be the better one and step back. No need to rise to the bait.
This is an example of how the initial response to anything is often the pre-programmed survival one, and the second tends to hold the wisdom we've actually worked on and chosen for ourselves.

Could have skipped the first response, which came across as flippant and bitter. This would have been so much more respectable on its own.

Re: My friend and me aren’t on speaking terms because of an arc I wrote.

#25
That really sucks. I was actually worried about the same thing, as the next arc for my story is a literal invasion by a neighboring country. Of course, I finished planning it some time last year, but I was worried people might think it the same.

If your "friend" actually suspects you of trying to profit off of a tragedy like this, and won't believe you when you clearly tell him that he's wrong, I don't see how the friendship can be salvaged. The first could be forgiven, but if he doesn't trust you enough to believe you when you assure him that he's wrong, there is probably nothing you can do. Sometimes people aren't who we thought they were, and sometimes people change. That's heartbreaking, but it's sadly the way it is. I only hope you find more loyal friends in the future.

Re: My friend and me aren’t on speaking terms because of an arc I wrote.

#26
Wagenar Wrote: That really sucks. I was actually worried about the same thing, as the next arc for my story is a literal invasion by a neighboring country. Of course, I finished planning it some time last year, but I was worried people might think it the same.

If your "friend" actually suspects you of trying to profit off of a tragedy like this, and won't believe you when you clearly tell him that he's wrong, I don't see how the friendship can be salvaged. The first could be forgiven, but if he doesn't trust you enough to believe you when you assure him that he's wrong, there is probably nothing you can do. Sometimes people aren't who we thought they were, and sometimes people change. That's heartbreaking, but it's sadly the way it is. I only hope you find more loyal friends in the future.

If anyone thinks an invasion is specifically a reference to current events, they need to actually read more books. You might as well accuse a murder mystery of capitalizing on the fact that someone, somewhere, got shot in an alley irl.

Re: My friend and me aren’t on speaking terms because of an arc I wrote.

#27
That is an unfortunate event. but again, human tragedy like that unfortunately happens often. It's all because we are human, and we always want something more.

You can argue that most wars happened either because one country wants what the other country have. And that would be something that happens in reality or fiction.

But still, your friend seems to be much too sensitive for something that happens in a fiction. Perhaps he just have something else going on that you might not know that just sends him over the edge.

But again, that's just my positive thinking.

Re: My friend and me aren’t on speaking terms because of an arc I wrote.

#28
Too many people are telling you to stop being friends with your friend, which is easy to do based on your friend wigging out over this one thing one time, but I'd rather avoid that. Instead, I'll ask a few questions.

Is this normal behavior for your friend? Does he usually accuse you or others of exploiting events or tragedies, the situations and needs of others, or anything else for your or their own benefit? Does he usually accuse you or others of not understanding his feelings even if you've listened to his and clearly articulated your own?

What about your story? I didn't get "Russian invasion of Ukraine" from your description. Did your friend explain how he got "Russian invasion of Ukraine" from reading your story? I'm just not seeing it. As others have mentioned, why did he not get other similar events through history? Russia's alleged claim to Ukraine is mirrored in today's political climate by China's alleged claim to Taiwan, and its invasion of Ukraine is historically comparable to Nazi Germany's invasion of Poland. Why is your story allegedly based on the invasion of Ukraine and not the Nazi invasion of Poland, or any of the myriad of invasions and annexations by a powerful country over a neighboring weaker country?

And let's say that your story is based on the Russian invasion of Ukraine. Can your friend explain why that is bad? Can your friend explain why it's "exploiting a tragedy" and not "an allegory for current events"? Hollywood was making films with the Nazis and Japanese Imperials as the primary villains--including tales of heroic American soldiers fighting against them--during World War II. Plotlines with the main characters fighting against Islamic terrorist groups were ubiquitous after 9/11 and in the early days of the Iraq War. Would or does your friend have similar issues with those? If not, then why?

My own WIP involves, later on, a story arc based on the 2020 US presidential election. I don't think I'm "exploiting" anything for personal gain. I'm basing events in my story on real life personal events. Of course, the difference between "basing on" and "exploiting" always comes down to the details, which is why I reiterate that you should ask your friend how your story arc is "exploiting" rather than just "based on" or "an allegory of".

Wait until you guys calm down, then talk to him again. With a mutual friend acting as an unbiased third party if necessary. I'm not comfortable, personally, with the kneejerk reaction by so many in this thread to just dump your friend and move on, though you should be prepared to do that if necessary. If this sort of behavior is out of character for him, then I think your friendship is worth saving. If accusations, guilt-tripping, and cry-bullying are all part of his normal repertoire, on the other hand, then consider this your out and congratulations. 

Re: My friend and me aren’t on speaking terms because of an arc I wrote.

#29
UPDATE: He apologized, but only on Discord because he plans to not see me for a while. His mother’s a Covid victim, so I guess he’s got full hands.

While my friend took back most of what he said, he still found it “insensitive” and I should “change it a little,” whatever that means. We mainly speak a mix of English and Tagalog on and offline, so that’s my simplified version of what he said.
TienSwitch Wrote: Instead, I'll ask a few questions.
I appreciate your concerns immensely, so let me shed some light.

Yes, my friend does have a history with the behavior you described. Recently, when the live-action One Piece movie got announced, he found Arlong’s actor “problematic” for being African-American. He believed the studio “used his background” as a way to portray the fictional oppressed race within the story. I didn’t argue with him, but a lot on Discord did. He went silent and left immediately.

The arc I wrote was never based on anything, as I’ve said. Even if it was based on current events, I wouldn’t write it as a carbon copy. The former empire in my story was one that existed within the main nation, and it sought to “reunite” everyone over the basis of “family.” So, yeah. I have no idea how he correlated it to the Ukrainian crisis, but he found a way. I only used the Anschluss allegory in my counterargument to get my word across. Of course, it failed.

All in all, he’s had this personality issue since I was 14. We loved nearly 99% of the stuff found on the internet and media, especially One Piece. Our friendship was solid, but unfortunately, others viewed him otherwise. I can’t blame them either, no matter how many times I defended him.

Re: My friend and me aren’t on speaking terms because of an arc I wrote.

#30
Felix Wrote: UPDATE: He apologized, but only on Discord because he plans to not see me for a while. His mother’s a Covid victim, so I guess he’s got full hands.

While my friend took back most of what he said, he still found it “insensitive” and I should “change it a little,” whatever that means. We mainly speak a mix of English and Tagalog on and offline, so that’s my simplified version of what he said.
TienSwitch Wrote: Instead, I'll ask a few questions.
I appreciate your concerns immensely, so let me shed some light.

Yes, my friend does have a history with the behavior you described. Recently, when the live-action One Piece movie got announced, he found Arlong’s actor “problematic” for being African-American. He believed the studio “used his background” as a way to portray the fictional oppressed race within the story. I didn’t argue with him, but a lot on Discord did. He went silent and left immediately.

The arc I wrote was never based on anything, as I’ve said. Even if it was based on current events, I wouldn’t write it as a carbon copy. The former empire in my story was one that existed within the main nation, and it sought to “reunite” everyone over the basis of “family.” So, yeah. I have no idea how he correlated it to the Ukrainian crisis, but he found a way. I only used the Anschluss allegory in my counterargument to get my word across. Of course, it failed.

All in all, he’s had this personality issue since I was 14. We loved nearly 99% of the stuff found on the internet and media, especially One Piece. Our friendship was solid, but unfortunately, others viewed him otherwise. I can’t blame them either, no matter how many times I defended him.


So your friend is basically arguing that a black actor CANT be arlong? That sounds pretty actually racist to me.

Re: My friend and me aren’t on speaking terms because of an arc I wrote.

#31
Felix Wrote: UPDATE: He apologized, but only on Discord because he plans to not see me for a while. His mother’s a Covid victim, so I guess he’s got full hands.

While my friend took back most of what he said, he still found it “insensitive” and I should “change it a little,” whatever that means. We mainly speak a mix of English and Tagalog on and offline, so that’s my simplified version of what he said.
TienSwitch Wrote: Instead, I'll ask a few questions.
I appreciate your concerns immensely, so let me shed some light.

Yes, my friend does have a history with the behavior you described. Recently, when the live-action One Piece movie got announced, he found Arlong’s actor “problematic” for being African-American. He believed the studio “used his background” as a way to portray the fictional oppressed race within the story. I didn’t argue with him, but a lot on Discord did. He went silent and left immediately.

The arc I wrote was never based on anything, as I’ve said. Even if it was based on current events, I wouldn’t write it as a carbon copy. The former empire in my story was one that existed within the main nation, and it sought to “reunite” everyone over the basis of “family.” So, yeah. I have no idea how he correlated it to the Ukrainian crisis, but he found a way. I only used the Anschluss allegory in my counterargument to get my word across. Of course, it failed.

All in all, he’s had this personality issue since I was 14. We loved nearly 99% of the stuff found on the internet and media, especially One Piece. Our friendship was solid, but unfortunately, others viewed him otherwise. I can’t blame them either, no matter how many times I defended him.

First off, good to see he apologized. Second, good to see a fellow One Piece fan. Third, really? A live action One Piece film? Must we fly so close to the sun so often? Did we not learn from Dragon Ball Evolutions?

That behavior is not the behavior I was really talking about. Your description is alluding to more whiny woke-scolding behavior which is.... eh. Annoying, but.... eh. I don't even think he and I would have too many broad disagreements, though the details and delivery are something I would find myself heavily at odds with him about. Just his opposition to a black actor playing Arlong is something I'd find myself opposed to him on, though probably not for the reasons I assume he'd imagine. But whatever. What I was talking about was less "complaining about problematic movie casting" and more gaslighting, toxic, abusive behavior. Does he guilt-trip you when you don't reshuffle your entire life around him? Play the victim while making you do things you find uncomfortable? Make you doubt yourself and your reasonings or motivations for doing things? All this is abusive behavior that, if he's doing constantly, is something you should get away from. That's what I was asking. Him finding the casting of Arlong to be "problematic" is a non-issue.

I can actually see how he correlated your story arc to the Ukrainian crisis, though it's flimsy at best. I don't want to get into politics, but I'll just throw a quick bit of current events at you: One of the justifications Vladimir Putin made in a televised speech for invading Ukraine was that Ukrainians were ethnically Russians and that he wanted to unite them within the Russian motherland. It's a fascist blood-and-soil speech, and "it sought to 'reunite' everyone over the basis of 'family'" sort of checks out. The issue is with your friend's logic at the time (and even now, calling it "insensitive") is that this is so common to both history and fiction that you can link anything to anything. I'll admit, I might have chuckled while reading your story and thought something like "Heh, this evil emperor guy sounds a lot like Putin", but I don't think I would have made any tangible connections between the Ukraine crisis and your story. Not with what you've described, at least. 

Re: My friend and me aren’t on speaking terms because of an arc I wrote.

#33
TienSwitch Wrote: Does he guilt-trip you when you don't reshuffle your entire life around him? Play the victim while making you do things you find uncomfortable?
Nope. His mentally works this way: X reminds him of Y, so he assumes the worst possible take. It doesn’t help that he craves validation that he’s correct. And when it (rarely) becomes true, he gloats to others on Discord 24/7. He got lucky with his Gear 5 theory when none in my group had the same idea.

He has a knack for questionable One Piece theories as “facts,” to say the least. For one, he believed Oda wrote the Alabasta arc based on the Iraq War. While I’ve known some fans thinking this, it’s such a huge stretch considering what the arc’s conflict really was.

Besides One Piece stuff, he was the one who introduced me to SAO in the first place. At least he had the decency to not judge my distaste for the show. I can’t say the same for others who he argued with vitriolically.

At the time, he believed Eugeo would resurrect even though it made no narrative sense. The kicker here is that I only knew this because of clips I saw on YouTube. I never finished Alicization, yet still had a firmer grasp how the story would run.

I think it’s fitting for my friend, though. He never questioned Pell’s out-of-nowhere resurrection after the Alabasta arc.

Re: My friend and me aren’t on speaking terms because of an arc I wrote.

#34
Felix Wrote: on Discord 24/7

Now there is your problem.

Now to be serious, how old is this guy (if you don't mind me asking)? I was kind of like for a little bit when I was younger (but not to the same degree; I think the fact that I didn't really have as much exposure to the social media growing up played a role in that).  For me it was just a phase. I eventually just grew out of it; realized that not everything had to have a 'deeper meaning' and 'finding' this meaning didn't make me smart or cool. 

I don't know why exactly this is pissing him off, I mean irredentism is not an exclusively Russian thing (though, I have to admit they've been doing a lot of that lately). Still, I understand that I'm not the first person to say this. 

Re: My friend and me aren’t on speaking terms because of an arc I wrote.

#37
TienSwitch Wrote: Does he or any of these fans know that the Alabasta arc was completed in 2002, one year before the Iraq War began?
I’ve been on the One Piece subreddit for so long to know how much mental gymnastics people tend to do there. When the “Zoro is racist” meme circulated around the fanbase because of his fight against King, there were ones who legitimately believed he was. When one made the most accurate theory about the true name of Luffy’s Devil Fruit, many mean-spirited comments ridiculed him to oblivion. Now, those guys feel betrayed by Oda all because they hated Gear 5.

Re: My friend and me aren’t on speaking terms because of an arc I wrote.

#38
TienSwitch Wrote:
Felix Wrote: For one, he believed Oda wrote the Alabasta arc based on the Iraq War. While I’ve known some fans thinking this, it’s such a huge stretch considering what the arc’s conflict really was.

Does he or any of these fans know that the Alabasta arc was completed in 2002, one year before the Iraq War began?

Eichiro Oda truly was ahead of his time.

The kinds of people who make complaints like that don't know things. Or think, really. They just spout whatever stupid idea enters their head and roll with it as if it was 100% fact and will fight each other to the death over it.