My friend and me aren’t on speaking terms because of an arc I wrote.

#1
Let me explain thoroughly, because I lied to my readers why I’m on break for four days instead of three. I couldn’t sleep until 5:30, and I wasn’t sure if I wanted to open up something so personal.

I wrote an entire arc for one of my six MCs (Haruto), who is an SAO expy. When he got reincarnated as a twelve-year-old, an expansionist empire raised him. He formed a bond with the emperor, who told him that their cause was based on “family” because the whole nation “used to be theirs.”

He also formed a stronger bond with his son, who denied the annexation efforts. Eventually, they cut ties, but the son died fighting against a villain for my upcoming prequel novel. Because of this, Haruto fully embraced the empire’s idea of “family.” However, he did snap out of it because of another expy (Tokino).

Now, it doesn’t seem like anything’s wrong with this backstory, right? Not to my friend. He honestly believed I wrote it based on the Ukrainian invasion. We shouted at each other for hours in a park. A lot of folks looked at us.

I can’t stress this enough. When I write events, I never base them on real life ones. Now, he just thinks I’m exploiting a current tragedy for a backstory. So far, I still can’t text him. I’m probably already blocked.

I know moving on is the best option here. But we’ve been with each other since highschool, so it’s not like it won’t hurt. I decided to not to review swap other people’s novels today. My thoughts are still whirling around.

Re: My friend and me aren’t on speaking terms because of an arc I wrote.

#2
I don't know if this helps or hurts, but stories like this have happened throughout human history again and again. Ukraine is the newest iteration of that. I don't mean to rag on your friend any, but he sounds like he's barely-informed but thinks of himself as a fully-informed person. I don't know what the solve is, but I like to think that in the long run, he'll come around. Best of luck with that.

Re: My friend and me aren’t on speaking terms because of an arc I wrote.

#3
It is hard to stay friends with someone who keeps climbing on a high horse, accusing you of being immoral. If it is a pattern with him, it was only a matter of time before this friendship broke. He didn't even give you the benefit of the doubt, he went straight to "It is obviously was inspired by the war in Ukraine, you knew it, and chose to exploit it". From what you describe the connection is a stretch at best anyways. Stories of expansionist empires annexing smaller countries are almost as old as time. 

look, I obviously don't know the good points of your relationship, but you should rethink if you really want him in your life if things like that are common with him. Even if it will hurt at first.

Re: My friend and me aren’t on speaking terms because of an arc I wrote.

#4
I've had people claim that a few of my stores were "about" something, or trying to "make a statement"...
It's always annoying. In the end, people will believe what they want to believe. If they think you're trying to prove something, there's no way you can convince them otherwise. Usually I'd say move on, but since it's a friend it's different.
Hopefully they get over it, and you can go back to being friends.

Re: My friend and me aren’t on speaking terms because of an arc I wrote.

#5
Felix Wrote: Let me explain thoroughly, because I lied to my readers why I’m on break for four days instead of three. I couldn’t sleep until 5:30, and I wasn’t sure if I wanted to open up something so personal.

I wrote an entire arc for one of my six MCs (Haruto), who is an SAO expy. When he got reincarnated as a twelve-year-old, an expansionist empire raised him. He formed a bond with the emperor, who told him that their cause was based on “family” because the whole nation “used to be theirs.”

He also formed a stronger bond with his son, who denied the annexation efforts. Eventually, they cut ties, but the son died fighting against a villain for my upcoming prequel novel. Because of this, Haruto fully embraced the empire’s idea of “family.” However, he did snap out of it because of another expy (Tokino).

Now, it doesn’t seem like anything’s wrong with this backstory, right? Not to my friend. He honestly believed I wrote it based on the Ukrainian invasion. We shouted at each other for hours in a park. A lot of folks looked at us.

I can’t stress this enough. When I write events, I never base them on real life ones. Now, he just thinks I’m exploiting a current tragedy for a backstory. So far, I still can’t text him. I’m probably already blocked.

I know moving on is the best option here. But we’ve been with each other since highschool, so it’s not like it won’t hurt. I decided to not to review swap other people’s novels today. My thoughts are still whirling around.
Ah jeez, it is like. I understand the Ukrainians situation. I fully support them, but you can’t go jumping to conclusions. I wouldn’t know how to potentially fix this situation. If he is willing to treat you like that, and not believe you. The only thing I can say, is that he’s not a friend. You can try to explain to him, that you never base events off of real life ones. Though, it is hard to say how far this will go.

Re: My friend and me aren’t on speaking terms because of an arc I wrote.

#7
Edge Wrote:
Felix Wrote: Let me explain thoroughly, because I lied to my readers why I’m on break for four days instead of three. I couldn’t sleep until 5:30, and I wasn’t sure if I wanted to open up something so personal.

I wrote an entire arc for one of my six MCs (Haruto), who is an SAO expy. When he got reincarnated as a twelve-year-old, an expansionist empire raised him. He formed a bond with the emperor, who told him that their cause was based on “family” because the whole nation “used to be theirs.”

He also formed a stronger bond with his son, who denied the annexation efforts. Eventually, they cut ties, but the son died fighting against a villain for my upcoming prequel novel. Because of this, Haruto fully embraced the empire’s idea of “family.” However, he did snap out of it because of another expy (Tokino).

Now, it doesn’t seem like anything’s wrong with this backstory, right? Not to my friend. He honestly believed I wrote it based on the Ukrainian invasion. We shouted at each other for hours in a park. A lot of folks looked at us.

I can’t stress this enough. When I write events, I never base them on real life ones. Now, he just thinks I’m exploiting a current tragedy for a backstory. So far, I still can’t text him. I’m probably already blocked.

I know moving on is the best option here. But we’ve been with each other since highschool, so it’s not like it won’t hurt. I decided to not to review swap other people’s novels today. My thoughts are still whirling around.
Ah jeez, it is like. I understand the Ukrainians situation. I fully support them, but you can’t go jumping to conclusions. I wouldn’t know how to potentially fix this situation. If he is willing to treat you like that, and not believe you. The only thing I can say, is that he’s not a friend. You can try to explain to him, that you never base events off of real life ones. Though, it is hard to say how far this will go.
He probably did try to explain it to him. Maybe when things cool off, the friend will listen to reason. With that said, I still think he should rethink if the relationship is worth it.

Re: My friend and me aren’t on speaking terms because of an arc I wrote.

#8
Cynical Wrote:
Edge Wrote:
Felix Wrote: Let me explain thoroughly, because I lied to my readers why I’m on break for four days instead of three. I couldn’t sleep until 5:30, and I wasn’t sure if I wanted to open up something so personal.

I wrote an entire arc for one of my six MCs (Haruto), who is an SAO expy. When he got reincarnated as a twelve-year-old, an expansionist empire raised him. He formed a bond with the emperor, who told him that their cause was based on “family” because the whole nation “used to be theirs.”

He also formed a stronger bond with his son, who denied the annexation efforts. Eventually, they cut ties, but the son died fighting against a villain for my upcoming prequel novel. Because of this, Haruto fully embraced the empire’s idea of “family.” However, he did snap out of it because of another expy (Tokino).

Now, it doesn’t seem like anything’s wrong with this backstory, right? Not to my friend. He honestly believed I wrote it based on the Ukrainian invasion. We shouted at each other for hours in a park. A lot of folks looked at us.

I can’t stress this enough. When I write events, I never base them on real life ones. Now, he just thinks I’m exploiting a current tragedy for a backstory. So far, I still can’t text him. I’m probably already blocked.

I know moving on is the best option here. But we’ve been with each other since highschool, so it’s not like it won’t hurt. I decided to not to review swap other people’s novels today. My thoughts are still whirling around.
Ah jeez, it is like. I understand the Ukrainians situation. I fully support them, but you can’t go jumping to conclusions. I wouldn’t know how to potentially fix this situation. If he is willing to treat you like that, and not believe you. The only thing I can say, is that he’s not a friend. You can try to explain to him, that you never base events off of real life ones. Though, it is hard to say how far this will go.
He probably did try to explain it to him. Maybe when things cool off, the friend will listen to reason. With that said, I still think he should rethink if the relationship is worth it.
Yeah, give it some time. Peeps can be quite irrational now and then. Still, I don’t think I ever had a friend that would snap at me like that. No matter of the dumb things I did, let alone conflicting views we had. We accepted each other, and were always cool. Then when we left High School, we were on good terms.

Re: My friend and me aren’t on speaking terms because of an arc I wrote.

#9
CrowsCrowCrow Wrote: Perhaps ask why he feels the story is about Ukraine rather than Taiwan, for example?
We argued something similar in the park and it only got worse. I told him that he could compare it to any other event like the Anschluss and it would nullify his bad faith assumptions. Instead, he doubled down and said it was “too coincidental.” I shouted back louder when I shouldn’t have, but it made my blood boil.

Re: My friend and me aren’t on speaking terms because of an arc I wrote.

#10
Pardon my soapbox, but my opinion starts and stops with the treatment your friend is dishing. Story arc is NON-ISSUE in the face of this behavior.

I understand that you partook in a screaming match because your work is important and personal to you, so that often stirs up passions. But don't let the context of this dispute blur the events of what just happened.

He made an assertion. You said it was untrue. He doubled-down. You doubled-down. Until he shut you down, and blocked you.

This is not about your story. Friends that respect each other do not get to this stage. Mourn the friendship, because it is most certainly over, even if you try to fix it and drag it out another few years. But that is separate from your story and your work. You were just shown that your truth or feelings will never factor into what he believes. That will be applied to any argument you have. And even if you were to forgive and try to patch it up, you only show that you will accept that kind of outright dismissal and carelessness. And that you will live with the threat that friendship could be lost at any moment, over anything, if you don't capitulate and apologize any time his assertions are challenged.

This is not healthy. And trust me, some people, like myself, need a lot of repetitions and pain before they finally get it and cut bait. So I understand the temptation to give forgiveness. But please protect your peace at this point.

It's okay to be down. Frustrated. Even grieving. But don't submit yourself to another year, or more, of trying to cut yourself into a piece he will accept. Please. Explaining yourself obviously isn't enough. I'm so sorry this happened to you. The only thing harder than losing a friend, is staying with one incapable of seeing/hearing you. You need to decide for yourself (honestly) what that friendship would look like if you tried to fix it, and if it's worth it.

Re: My friend and me aren’t on speaking terms because of an arc I wrote.

#11
Hm, I am sorry to hear this. I won't give you advice or an opinion here. Instead, I will give you my sympathies, because this is a very unfortunate turn of events. 

I hope you have someone you can chat with about this IRL too. Internet strangers are nice, but we're no substitute for a nice, warm hug--so I hope you do take some time with different friends or family members to destress! 

Here's hoping for better days to come!   DrakanWine

Re: My friend and me aren’t on speaking terms because of an arc I wrote.

#12
It happens. It's happening to me as we speak. 

The Ukrainian Invasion lined up to an event in a WIP of mine a bit too close for comfort, but I'm not gonna change it cuz my original concept fit so well thematically that I'd rather just accept it as an unfortunate coincidence.

Basically, a certain Russian inspired region of the world in my fantasy WIP has just escaped a civil war in which oligarchs attempted to take power and ever since, ordinary people have been legally forced to carry firearms to prevent any further coups. 

It's not super close, but the whole "arming citizens" thing was close enough that I got worried people would think I was using the war in Ukraine as inspiration. I wasn't, this concept dates back to like 2017.

Either way, the human experience intersects with itself often, and you'll get the same stories and concepts happening over and over in history because we, as humans, often all share the same problems, same ambitions and same failings. I fully believe you when you say it wasn't meant to be so similar, but things happen. I don't think you need to worry about the writing aspect.

As for the personal aspect? They don't sound like the trusted you to begin with.

Re: My friend and me aren’t on speaking terms because of an arc I wrote.

#16
Felix Wrote: I can’t stress this enough. When I write events, I never base them on real life ones. Now, he just thinks I’m exploiting a current tragedy for a backstory. So far, I still can’t text him. I’m probably already blocked.

I understand having sympathy but who gets so worked up over something like that? How do people like this move on and get up every morning? The world is full of suffering. I never understood it. Hard life these people live. In my view, if he/she is freaking out over such a little thing that's actually a non issue, the truth is, this person will just have a melt down over some other non issue/tiny misunderstanding in the future anyway.

Regardless, this isn't a writing/reading question. Maybe it belongs in "off topic"?