Re: Am I the bad guy?

#21
Never heard of this word, and I guess this proves that people can be triggered over little stuff like that. I bet the lowest ratings I got are exactly like that too.

Personally, I think ratings should strive to be objective, so take into consideration stuff like grammar and style too. So, not many novels are bad enough to actually deserve 0.5 no matter what their content is. But then, humans are emotional creatures. 

edit: oh just googled what sped means. A kid who attends special education class? Jesus, I was a literal sped and I didn't even know it.

Re: Am I the bad guy?

#22
It may not have been your intention to use it as a slur, but the word exists as a slur, and you need to come to terms with that.

If you're outside of a community, you may not realise how damaging a slur can be; and that's something to take into account. Even if you're outside of a community, you can dislike seeing the thoughtless propagation of a word. 

You can take this opportunity to understand the impact of language, and change; or you can retain your position and accept the backlash that comes with that. 

Re: Am I the bad guy?

#24

Ararara Wrote: I don't know what "sped" means, never heard of it, so I can't judge. "Yesterday I sped on the highway in my corvette." xD ? That's probably not it though 

peolaughing



This! Being an LD (Learning Disabled) person, I have never heard this as a slur. But I have found that people who are not LD are sensitive...for people who are LD? It's all very confusing, but I suppose you should just use stupid or idiot. Idiots are after all prevalent in every aspect of humanity. 

Re: Am I the bad guy?

#26
Yes, leaving that word in makes you come across as the bad guy.

The problem isn't that you used the slur in-story.  Flawed characters in flawed settings are a thing, and there are many famous characters that say crude things.  You can write characters saying mean stuff without agreeing with them or being judged for it.  Stephen King is an ultra liberal who's probably written more people dropping the N-bomb than anyone else alive.

The issue is that you used it in your synopsis.  That's not a character saying this awful thing, it's you, the writer.  It feels like an endorsement.  That's also why that guy got so angry.  

I don't know you personally, but I'm guessing you're not a bad guy if it bothered you enough to make a thread about it.  I say just edit it out and be careful about keeping  things like that in-story, like you probably intended.

Re: Am I the bad guy?

#28

cacklingcat Wrote:
Ararara Wrote: I don't know what "sped" means, never heard of it, so I can't judge. "Yesterday I sped on the highway in my corvette." xD ? That's probably not it though 

peolaughing



This! Being an LD (Learning Disabled) person, I have never heard this as a slur. But I have found that people who are not LD are sensitive...for people who are LD? It's all very confusing, but I suppose you should just use stupid or idiot. Idiots are after all prevalent in every aspect of humanity.


Indeed. I find most slurs upset the people who have nothing to do with them. 

It's quite funny actually. I'm both gay and autistic so I hear the F, R, etc. bombs thrown at me a lot. It seems to stun people how little I actually care. 

It's like they say "the best revenge is a life lived well." When people realize how little they matter to you they try to rile you up and bait you into a yelling or fighting match. Better to just let them say what they want and not talk to them. 

Re: Am I the bad guy?

#29

Biological Wrote: It's quite funny actually. I'm both gay and autistic so I hear the F, R, etc. bombs thrown at me a lot. It seems to stun people how little I actually care.


The key when a thing deemed offensive shall not based on the state of a single person within the description. Being gay and autistic, are both a spectrum. We cannot simply based on one doesn't care and summarise every gay+asd person will not care. 

Temple Gratin and Jory Felming both sets a very wrong example to the public. Yet many fail to see those in L3 asd, and worst so, those with ds+asd. Just bcoz a few minority who born in developed countries, received advance medical attention and education, hit the genius jackpot... they do not represent whole majority L2 L3 born in rural! 

The pain itself does not mean it effect the person who got asd. Like you said, you dont care at all. Probably my bro in-law(ds+L3 asd adult man) don't care about it too.

I am happy and glad that the author of the thread understand the whole situation and edited his work. But here's the thing. When people question "Your son is asd, and he is on special eds, congratulation! He must be a genius worthy of Harvard and Yale!" That's the problem! And it is insulting for the parents who worked so hard paying for the eds and meds and planning the entire secure life for their L3 forever-child! That's why the word "sped" is such a sensitive slur to a reader like me!

I'm surely glad that you able to type and communicate online, that's fine. But please be considered of your fellow L3 peers who depend on lots of pills and not even able to form a proper sentence. 

Re: Am I the bad guy?

#30
I personally see the value of offense in storytelling. Especially when it comes to world and characters. I think the major problem for readers like that is they think the author believes these things, which is insane. 

For example, for Dopeman II will have a section where Dopeman, a black guy, has to go through a part of Alabama that is home to all racists, the town name being n word. Does that make me racist? No. Does it make you ablest for simply being in character on your description? No.

Re: Am I the bad guy?

#31
Am I a boomer now or does nobody actually know the origin of sped? Or am I the only American in the thread lol. 

It's American slang for special ed, the special program we had in elementary school for the downs syndrome kids. We also used short bus as an insult because these kids would ride the shorter yellow schoolbus to school. I think it had special equipment on there or something, idk. 

However, some kids' parents pushed them to feigned or played up their adhd to get into special ed to get extra time on the SAT and school tests + ritalin to bump up their GPA. 

FYI the online sphere has a lot of autistic people, when I played a gacha game earlier this year and ran the biggest guild on the server, I ran a survey and a whopping 40% of our guild was autistic, and I don't mean that in a bad way– I realized that autistic people gravitate towards alternative forms of community and socialization, so that's why it might be more sensitive here than in real life. I didn't interact with many autistic people irl so doing the gacha guild leader thing was my first chatting with them. 

So yeah, if youre in an online space, try to be especially considerate. When I was writing my story here on royalroad and some guy in the comments told me that he manually used a calculator to check if I did my stats correctly, I got kind of weirded out (it made me question why I was writing in the first place), but now I'm a bit more understanding of where they're coming from. 

Re: Am I the bad guy?

#32

Shomin Wrote: Yet many fail to see those in L3 asd, and worst so, those with ds+asd. Just bcoz a few minority who born in developed countries, received advance medical attention and education, hit the genius jackpot... they do not represent whole majority L2 L3 born in rural! 

The pain itself does not mean it effect the person who got asd. Like you said, you dont care at all. Probably my bro in-law(ds+L3 asd adult man) don't care about it too.
Hey, I just wanna say earlier this year I talked with a guy who I think was an L3 over discord, and it kinda opened my eyes on how bad the struggle is.

I first got friendly with Lewdmilla on a gacha game discord because he was absolutely hilarious to talk to, he was so funny and he posted memes on youtube about the game. But the more I talked to him the more I realized how screwed up his outlook on life was. He was debilitatingly frustrated that no girls liked him, and was so upset because his discord girlfriend wouldn't give him a "red dot" aka discord notification (he'd send messages to me like "wai no red dot from gf"). Note that this guy actually sent me a picture of him in a hoodie for criticism and he's a decent looking european guy, but– and I can't even making this up– the photo he sent me he was literally unironically wearing that ahegao hoodie you see on the internet. 

At this point, I was still talking a lot to Lewdmilla, because I thought it was fascinating that a good looking guy like him who was only being held back by his personality/disorder could mess up with girls so badly (at this point I thought the only problem was girls). And his personality was hilarious. 

But the more I talked to him, the more fucked up stuff I kinda uncovered. He really liked talking about Zero Two, referring to her jokingly as his gf. Then I found out he had a Zero Two body pillow, which was really funny but I just thought of it as a harmless weeb thing. Then, I found out that he was in highschool, then I found out that he just paused highschool because going to class made him depressed because of some girl issue. 

At that point I felt really bad for the guy, but he would get so irrationally angry if you posted a gif of "hiro" (I think the main character of zero two's anime? never watched it), and I mean angry. I teased him with hiro gifs a lot until I started realized that he was actually, truly angry, and not joking like usual. He actually thought that he was in a relationship with zero two, and it wasn't just some hilarious inside joke. The guy was dead serious. He was angry angry if you made fun of his "relationship" with zero two. 

After a certain point I just had to step away. It was just too much for me. The guy's life was pretty much ruined by his disability, even though there was nothing else wrong with him–appearance was fine, parents were rich, lived in a first world european country the Netherlands, etc. I wanted to help, but the more I uncovered the more it was clear that he was kinda far gone. 

Eventually I completely cut myself off from the game because it was too "online" for me, there were too many of those kinds of personality types around and although Lewdmilla was the worst offender, it was getting to me. 
-----
If you're curious why he's so funny, this is his video of rating the game characters by lewdness 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JSVjlnwjv38
He showed me this when we first started talking and I was laughing my ass off, the guy had stone cold delivery and sharp insight 

Re: Am I the bad guy?

#33

HereBeTreasure Wrote: guy who I think was an L3 over discord


From what i know, most L3 and ds+asd unable to communicate well. Not even able to type a sentence online. 

We do aware of the TikTok fake tourette syndrome that might hint about the fake asd among the community too. It further complicates the clinical research and really frustrated the real patients and the family members. 

We don't need another environmental geogrphical genius like Jory Fleming to tell the clinical neuropsychological research community about asd is not a dsm-5. Faking a syndrome is unethical! It strips away the rights of those who unable to defend themselves. 

Re: Am I the bad guy?

#34
Imo, it absolutely is political, because it is inherently political correctness and attempted censorship. Ive never heard anyone not politically motivated use the "ableist" term before. Not once. Nobody has the right to not be offended, and speech shouldn't be regulated. I've never heard this term before, but if it is a slur, so what? Don't read the story if it offends you. It takes effort and an agenda to give a 0.5 star rating to a story you didn't read, when the correct choice is to just move on.

Re: Am I the bad guy?

#35
If you have to ask?

If someone is offended and it seems fair for them to rate how they want? That is the way of any service. It sucks for you but so what? 

They read your story and didn't like an aspect of it. It's frustrating sure, but they have done nothing wrong by expressing an opinion. 

Further, it is likely to your advantage. The line, whatever your opinion on the word choice, isn't even that great. Imo. You have be given the opportunity to improve your synopsis because someome gave you feedback.

Now I don't want to die on the hill of fighting for or against the use of a word that isn't even relevant to my culture so my advice is this...

Face the rejection. It is better than blaming political correctness or the rating system. You'll improve as a writer and a person that way. Maybe. 

This is also why trigger warnings are helpful.

For @Kyfe, just a heads up but political content on the forums is a big no no on RR. I think your post comes under that? You might want to make changes to fall into guidelines. 

Re: Am I the bad guy?

#36

Kyfe Wrote: Imo, it absolutely is political, because it is inherently political correctness and attempted censorship. Only one side of the political aisle use this tactic...in a political way, and Ive never heard anyone not polotically motivated use the "ableist" term before. Not once. Nobody has the right to not be offended, and speech shouldn't be regulated. I've never heard this term before, but if it is a slur, so what? Don't read the story if it offends you. It takes effort and an agenda to give a 0.5 star rating to a story you didn't read, when the correct choice is to just move on.
Yeah, online spaces are a lot more left leaning in general, you have to be careful with what you say when compared to in real life. If you watched the most recent dave chappelle special on netflix he talks about twitter having beef with him in depth and addresses the issue. As writers, we're very much in the same vein as comedians in that we have "characters" who, just like real life, probably don't all conform with current political correctness expectations at all points, and it makes them all the more interesting and lifelike for it. 

Shomin Wrote: From what i know, most L3 and ds+asd unable to communicate well. Not even able to type a sentence online.
Then if he's L1 or L2, just mild autism is bad enough to totally mess up your life. I didn't realize just how pervasively the disability could screw you up as a pereson until I talked to him. What's a shame is that he's genuinely a funny and very intelligent guy, I couldn't even tell there was anything wrong with him until much later. 

Re: Am I the bad guy?

#37
@TealiciousTea

I can see one statement I made that could be considered that way, so I will edit that, but what I was saying was an explanation to why I hold the opinion I do.

And there is one part of your point I disagree with. "They read your story and didn't like an aspect of it," the whole point in the original post is that No, they didn't read it.

Re: Am I the bad guy?

#38

Kyfe Wrote: @TealiciousTea

I can see one statement I made that could be considered that way, so I will edit that, but what I was saying was an explanation to why I hold the opinion I do.

And there is one part of your point I disagree with. "They read your story and didn't like an aspect of it," the whole point in the original post is that No, they didn't read it.
That's fair enough. That is why I sent the message. I would rather you make your point. Regardless if I agree or not. Than have it taken down. 


And if they didn't read it then but it was a rating there isn't much that can be done. Unjust reviews can be taken down but not ratings. It sucks but it is too much work on the admins to investigate every rating (there a lot of them) 

I still think the person is entitled to their opinion. The opinion is valid to have. Whether you agree or disagree (again I'm not getting caught up in that argument). 

But if they have not read the story it does seem like a low rating is a bit harsh. They could have just stuck with the comments. Explaining their point of view. Perhaps raised it with a Mod who could have discussed it with the author? 

Re: Am I the bad guy?

#39

HereBeTreasure Wrote: Am I a boomer now or does nobody actually know the origin of sped? Or am I the only American in the thread lol. 

It's American slang for special ed, the special program we had in elementary school for the downs syndrome kids. We also used short bus as an insult because these kids would ride the shorter yellow schoolbus to school. I think it had special equipment on there or something, idk. 

However, some kids' parents pushed them to feigned or played up their adhd to get into special ed to get extra time on the SAT and school tests + ritalin to bump up their GPA. 


Ok? as a 40year old American (US) with LD, I never heard of "sped", as I have mentioned before. I have heard of the "short bus" as derogatory slang along with multiple other words that I won't repeat. So, I think it's safe to say that the world is big, and we all have probably heard different things.

However, this is full of misinformation: 
(However, some kids' parents pushed them to feigned or played up their adhd to get into special ed to get extra time on the SAT and school tests + ritalin to bump up their GPA.) 

I'm sure that it has happened in small circles, and I'm not even sure why you felt the need to bring it up. In fact, it’s quite worrying that you and Shomin felt the need to repeatedly bring this up after two LD people made comments. It latterly has nothing to do with the OP’s question.

I have been LD my whole life, diagnosed in pre-school as I would say 90% of all people who attended "Special ed" (Resource Room, where I'm from). In fact, most children with adhd don’t even get approved for special ed (thanks to lack of funding), and Ritalin was given out like candy by doctors when I was in high school.

Being diagnosed with LD and being approved for special ed is a long prosses. Not to mention that special ed is an umbrella term that covers a range of disabilities, so that kid you think is faking it probably isn’t. I have dealt with people thinking I ether was faking it or using it as a crutch my whole life. It has taken me years to feel ok enough to even write the stories in my head, and even then, I have just started to post them.

So, to sum it up: No one needs you or anyone else making unfounded comments about people faking LD. Oh, and the internet is in no way kinder to people with LD than the real world, especially when it comes to writing.

Re: Am I the bad guy?

#40

TealiciousTea Wrote:
Kyfe Wrote: @TealiciousTea

I can see one statement I made that could be considered that way, so I will edit that, but what I was saying was an explanation to why I hold the opinion I do.

And there is one part of your point I disagree with. "They read your story and didn't like an aspect of it," the whole point in the original post is that No, they didn't read it.
That's fair enough. That is why I sent the message. I would rather you make your point. Regardless if I agree or not. Than have it taken down. 


And if they didn't read it then but it was a rating there isn't much that can be done. Unjust reviews can be taken down but not ratings. It sucks but it is too much work on the admins to investigate every rating (there a lot of them) 

I still think the person is entitled to their opinion. The opinion is valid to have. Whether you agree or disagree (again I'm not getting caught up in that argument). 

But if they have not read the story it does seem like a low rating is a bit harsh. They could have just stuck with the comments. Explaining their point of view. Perhaps raised it with a Mod who could have discussed it with the author?


I agree they are entitled to their opinion, and I wasn't even saying it was necessarily a wrong opinion to have. I was just saying my opinion of that opinion was that it was politically motivated.

Starting to sound convoluted, lol.