EnhancedBeing Wrote: Oh.First: Everyone has an opinion. I'm sorry we don't agree.
Well that's me told I guess... I'll start taking down my work then. SIGH.
I'll close the gate on my way out.
Second: I haven't met anyone capable of mind reading. I met people capable of reading other people when physically present, but never full on mind reading. It's not possible to know what context a writer is coming from. There is no way to know if they are 'Primed to be offended'. However, not knowing going in what the context or place the author is publishing from makes it EXTREMELY difficult to decide on whether or not to comment, offer cookies, potentially help. Unfortunately, you know yourself best. But the large part of humanity are simply not mind readers.
Personally, I've stopped commenting on other people's work entirely. I get asked often to review, to help pick-out what's wrong. And honestly, I just can't. It's time consuming, and emotionally draining. With my readers, I know I come off as curt - I don't mean to. I'm trying to answer their question, while keeping in mind that the fact that I have to answer it at all may be a sign that there's something off with the way I put the scene together.
Third: There's a difference between taking a minute to figure out the intent and context of message. I'm not a gate keeper. I can't, and even if I couldn't I wouldn't stop you or anyone else from posting online - for whatever. What I do ask is that people align their why's with what they do. But that's HUGE ask. A lot of people couldn't tell you why they do much of anything. I do think having the mechanisms to avoid 'offense' and 'hurt feelings' is very important - especially for the hapless reader who DARES have an opinion you don't agree with.
Fourth: Some people are primed to be offended. I met a successful author who STILL states that she was put down by an editor when he said she wrote too young. He edited the first three chapters of her novel - because he had absolutely had no faith in her. Yup, wasted weeks on editing her first few chapters OF HIS OWN UNPAID TIME, because she was a talentless ninny who DARED to try to get her work published. Some people just want to be offended. It's the story they tell themselves of why they didn't get what they wanted RIGHT NOW! And there's really nothing we as commenters can do about it. She could have just as well said:: "Yeah, I'm open to criticism." But clearly she so was not.
Again helping commenters and reviewers to know what sort of lions den they're walking into is NOT too much ask. Cause obviously asking the writer to manage their expectations IS too much ask.
Jack0fheart Wrote: I regularly do this, don't feed the trolls. I understand my story is very polarising and is intended as such. It was cathartic for me and a way to process things that have happened to me in a fantasy setting. It's very good at what it was intended to do, invoke anger.Great example of what I mean when it comes to understanding your own intentions.
It's very simple, if you want to critique someone, you first have to build a rapport with said person or they're just going to consider you a dick. It takes me all of 30seconds to block someone and hide their comments and then I'll forget about them. If they leave a review, it'll just cement my low opinion of them 🤷♂️