Arch Mages Argust's Grimoire Guide: Monsters and their madness (Vol I)

Greeting to you, oh reader mine! 

If you've come across this far forgotten text then surely you! yes, you! are thinking of creating your own reality to muck about in. You are not? Well, no matter! For I, Argust Kither, the greatest reality thief... I mean librarian across the ever-expanding void of purposeless end have come to assist. How lucky you are. Why if I weren't trapped with the very text you read, I'd request you're soul as payment. 

Ah, but never mind that nonsense. You are here and so I will impart onto my knowledge regarding... what was the title of this thing again. Monsters! that's right. The fiendish fairytales brought to life by you dear reader and now part-time reality creator, to wreak havoc upon the worlds you forge and the people you breath into the fabrics of life. But are they really confined to such meagre purpose, could they not be something more, something greater? I see you questioning, not literally. I'm a book. 

...Stop looking for eyes! there are no eyes! I'm not spying on you for a point of weakness, that's absurd. 

Anyway, the point remains you seek the knowledge of monsters and their creation, so I shall impart onto what I've learned upon my extensive and impressive traversal of many, many realities. Truly it is a lot, sometimes my own abilities scare me even as a book. 

But what is a monster?

I see you asking yourself... please stop looking for eyes. A monster for all intense and purposes is what we can define as a transparent point of conflict. They are a creature, idea, entity, etc that challenges the reality you wield in some manner and thus creates a point of tension and conflict for the ones you let view you're reality. Why let others view you're reality you ask? well to that I say, what is better than forcing you're exceeding intellect onto anyone with the ability to comprehend it until they are forced to admit that you! yes, you! are superb and in no way suffer from self-esteem issues. 

A monster can be pretty much whatever you desire it to be, but I'm a strong believer in the idea that your monsters should serve a purpose. Creating something for the sake of creating is always an option though. Your monster should invoke something in those you let view your reality, same as the characters you breathe life to. Depending on the genre of reality you seek to create though that purpose may vary. 

How should I go about creating my monsters?

Inspiration, practicality whatever works for you. if your monster serves a purpose then create them in a way that would serve that purpose. Say you have created two meagre nations both at threat of war with each other. Why not create a body snatcher, or doppelganger to spread a permanent feeling of paranoia or by contrast a mighty dragon the size of both kingdoms that sleeps beneath, a constant threat and deterrent to war forcing the leading forces and the viewers you attract to question what side is better. To go war, consequences be damned for pride, belief, ideals and all the mortal nitty-gritty or to shut your mouth, you're belief for the sake of prosperity. Is it better to live to your heart's content as one? or to be contained for the betterment of others. 

A good moral dilemma always spices up monsters but it's certainly isn't necessary. Creating a spread of monsters that individually are less important can work just as well. A land cursed with a mighty plague that turns man to beast, slowly rotting away at societies foundations so that those who survive come at the expense of morality. I mean to say that the individuality of the monster isn't always the selling point, but rather the encroaching doom they bring or something of equal value. Yes, I can think of something else, I just choose not to tell you. A novice you are! it would serve you well to not question one as brilliant as myself.

...It's just occurred to me I'm being quite grim, I suppose that is the nature of monsters right? 


What of a world where monsters and man live in tandem, helping each other to overcome each other weaknesses to better the reality as a whole. In a world where you could train them, have them fight against each other for amusement, enslave them within ball-like objects and collect various gym memberships to ruthlessly batter you're... 

You've heard of this before? It's called pokiwhat? Nonsense! Nothing and I say nothing of mine comes from anything but my own exceptionally unique mind. I AM AN ARCH MAGE I SAY! MY WORDS BRING REALITIES TO THEIR KNEES, MY WILL STANDING UNMARRED AGAINST THE COLLAPSE OF ALL THAT IS! AND YET I'M TRAPPED IN THIS BOOK, TEACHING A NOVICE! WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON THAT WITCH I SWEAR I'LL DROWN HER IN A THOUSAND SUN... 


...Apologies. I had a bit of a... you know what nevermind that. 

What should I make my monster look like?

Appearance ey? 

If you've been following along diligently like you obviously are given who you are listening to, then an appearance should reflect the idea that your monster stems from. A monster made to inspire fear is nice, but think a little deeper than that. What fear specifically do you want it to inspire. Say it is a monster that's threat is the endless spawn it produces, an insectoid or something akin to that with carapace and many legs would fit well. The creeping crawling feeling they inspire can be magnified. an endless infestation.

On the other hand in some cases, you need not even show you're a monster. Have them a constant threat by the actions they take against you're characters but never show them truly, just the chaos and danger they leave behind inspiring a feeling of inevitability. Something that can't be seen, much less fought. A force outside you're comprehension, bearing down upon the character for whatever reason. 

The ones above though, only specifically cover fear. if your monster was more along the lines of inspiring empathy or sorrow, then have the world around the character and the viewer overexaggerate them, then give the monster a rather pitiful appearance in regards to its public image. A poor, skinny reflection of fear reduced to a husk of itself. Even better you could make the thing unaggressive painting the ones who saw it a monster as monsters themselves.

After all monster is an abstract word. it doesn't always mean claws and fangs. 

How are you gonna conclude this? 

A good question indeed, dear reader. 

I had hoped to have found a weakness... I mean a better idea of how to explain monsters before you reached the end of my relatively shallow understanding. I have nothing more regarding this for now. That said, I do sincerely hope it was helpful to you dear reader. My consciousness fades from this volume and with it the text, so If you wish to reach the Greatest Arch Mage, then seek to procure another copy. The second volume would do just fine.

For now, that concludes all I, Argust Kither, know about monsters and their madness.

May the witch burn.


(Why does this exist? I was bored.)

Re: Arch Mages Argust's Grimoire Guide: Monsters and their madness (Vol I)


Brian Wrote:
Zagern Wrote: for all intense and purposes

AAAghs! Intents! not intense! The only thing worse is 'intensive'
that's even worse than "You've got another thing coming" instead of 'think', or 'baited breath' instead of bated.

sorry, that pokes me right in the tender spot in my brain, the one the tenterhooks left me on.
Today I learned something new and stand corrected. I always thought that the meaning of "another thing coming" was literally "I think one thing and then reality/the future has planned some nasty surprise for me" (like a fist in the face or something).