Reviewing Classic Books as if They Were Posted on Royal Road

#1
So, I had this dumb idea about making a thread for people to review "Classic" Books as if they were posted as webnovels on Royal Road. I have been reading Pride and Prejudice lately, and thought I would give a crack at it in a slighty satirical manner. I am actually quite enjoying the book so far, and the nice things I say about it I genuinely stand by. The mean things are just me being silly :)

Anyways, here goes. Feel free to write your own in response to this thread.


Quote:An Advanced Review of User StoneColdJausten's Pride and Prejudice
Chapter XIII: Returning Home from Mr.Bingley's

Overall score: 4/5

Story Score: 3/5

Character Score: 4/5

Style score: 5/5

Grammar score: 3/5

__________

Edit: This review was part of a review swap, and while StoneColderJausten hasn't left her review yet after a few months, and technically I could remove this review, I have decided to leave this up as a warning to other users who have agreed to review swaps with.

First, I would like to say I am not typically a reader of Romance, so already I am a little bit of a fish out of water. There are some other aspects of this book that make it a slow read as well, but I want to cover what I liked first before I go over what I disliked.

The worldbuilding in this book is very thorough, the author has clearly thought of EVERYTHING. The details are so vivid, and at times alien, that I swear this person must be writing this from a different time or place. Though I will say that, at times, the worldbuilding is so over my head that I wish I had a glossary of sorts because (as I've said) the world is so vivid that I don't think the author realizes that all of this detail is going to be lost on us. She packs so much detail into passing sentences that you can get confused as to who is saying what. 

Speaking of dialogue, I think this is definitely the author's strong suit. You can absolutely tell how all of the characters feel about things, and if they are concealing those thoughts, just by the way they talk. Mr.Darcy, who has a crush on the MC, carefully avoids being too mean when trying to debate with her. But, when he talks to other people you can see he is less reserved. Characters will say one thing, but really be meaning different things in some excellent dramatic iron. It's really quite delightful.

Yet, speaking again of the dialogue, there's an issue. Jausten, have you ever heard of dialogue tags? This story really needs more of them, cause I get confused about who is speaking all of the time. I would get confused more, frankly, if the dialogue wasn't so well-written. It really does carry the book.

Now, on to the sections briefly.

Story 3/5: It's slow, and I am not sure there is much going on here. Although the author does seem to be hinting at a big bad coming soon, perhaps some sort of immortal demon or maybe Darcy and Bennet are going to get isekai'd. Time will tell here.

Character score 4/5: the characters only really show up in the dialogue, but when they do they are nice. I wish there was more things describing how they actually were, rather than the narrator telling us other people's opinion on the characters. I am pretty sure we don't know the MC's hair color, or Darcy's, which I would like to know. Ms.Bingley seems to be the tsundere archetype, but I need hair color to confirm this thanks!

Style score: So many dense world building terms, that I was almost going to give it a 2.5, but the dialogue is really that good. Other authors should really take not of StoneColdJausten's use of dialogue, because it is SUPERB.

Grammar: A lot of people have given this 5/5 for grammar. If you look close enough, you will notice some mistakes. Author also might not be a native english speaker, since a lot of the term she uses are off from their actual definitions. 


Overall 4/5: StoneColdJausten has written a decent book, with well-thought-out worldbuilding and really good dialogue. It's a bit slow, so I don't really see this picking up steam on roylaroad at all. I've seen some of her readers asking for a sequel, but the author hasn't posted anything new in a while, so there probably won't end up being a sequal.

My favorite character was definitely Mr.Darcy, and maybe I'll come back to read his cultivation arc later. 

But seriously, still in part 1 and I actually love Darcy's dialogue so much. Austen really took care in choosing his words so carefully.

Re: Reviewing Classic Books as if They Were Posted on Royal Road

#2
Harry Potter

0.5/5 Useless MC 

Main character is pathetic with impossible plot armor and useless. Just gets carried by plot armor or hermione. Dumbledore should've been the MC. 

0.5/5 Expelliarmus Retardation for 500 chapters straight. Do not read if you value your brain cells. 

Why does this harry guy only use expelliarmus when people are trying to kill him? It's like I'm reading some kind of children's picture book or something where he can't do evil or some shit. Fucking garbage story, dropped on chapter 21. 

0.5/5 This magic system makes no sense at all, signs of a lazy author

'Wingardium leviosa' can be harvested for infinite energy, for example ten thousand feathers could generate 10 tons of newtons of force per hour, but nobody in this book series thinks that way? So fucking stupid. Garbage magic system and it's just a sign that the author is writing randomly. Go read Delve instead. 

Game of Thrones

0.5/5 Extremely Painful to Read 

Too many POV swaps, I don't give a fuck about them, and also this author never finishes his series. Why is Ned Stark so fucking stupid? Still, story was better when Ned was MC. Glad to drop this garbage story. (I don't care about R+L=J there's no room for subtlety in webnovels) 

0.5/5 Unrealistic depiction of sexual assault 

I am offended that this story displays sexual assault in such a trivial and unrealistic manner including but not limited to Jaime Lannister and Bronn and Littlefinger and Joffrey Baratheon. Out of principle, I am giving this story a 0.5 out of 5 and I hope that the author seeks professional help. There are also underaged characters engaging in these things such as Sansa Stark and Ramsay Bolton, and that deeply concerns me as a reader. I've reported this fiction and hope that it will get removed from the platform promptly. Please seek help, love from Idaho <33 

Re: Reviewing Classic Books as if They Were Posted on Royal Road

#3

HereBeTreasure Wrote: Harry Potter

0.5/5 Useless MC 

Main character is pathetic with impossible plot armor and useless. Just gets carried by plot armor or hermione. Dumbledore should've been the MC. 

0.5/5 Expelliarmus Retardation for 500 chapters straight. Do not read if you value your brain cells. 

Why does this harry guy only use expelliarmus when people are trying to kill him? It's like I'm reading some kind of children's picture book or something where he can't do evil or some shit. Fucking garbage story, dropped on chapter 21. 

0.5/5 This magic system makes no sense at all, signs of a lazy author

'Wingardium leviosa' can be harvested for infinite energy, for example ten thousand feathers could generate 10 tons of newtons of force per hour, but nobody in this book series thinks that way? So fucking stupid. Garbage magic system and it's just a sign that the author is writing randomly. Go read Delve instead. 

Game of Thrones

0.5/5 Extremely Painful to Read 

Too many POV swaps, I don't give a fuck about them, and also this author never finishes his series. Why is Ned Stark so fucking stupid? Still, story was better when Ned was MC. Glad to drop this garbage story. (I don't care about R+L=J there's no room for subtlety in webnovels) 

0.5/5 Unrealistic depiction of sexual assault 

I am offended that this story displays sexual assault in such a trivial and unrealistic manner including but not limited to Jaime Lannister and Bronn and Littlefinger and Joffrey Baratheon. Out of principle, I am giving this story a 0.5 out of 5 and I hope that the author seeks professional help. There are also underaged characters engaging in these things such as Sansa Stark and Ramsay Bolton, and that deeply concerns me as a reader. I've reported this fiction and hope that it will get removed from the platform promptly. Please seek help, love from Idaho <33
 

I can't. HAHAHAHAHAH I'm deCeAsed! LOLOL

Re: Reviewing Classic Books as if They Were Posted on Royal Road

#6
This is actually my favorite book. 

Advanced Review of Great Expectations by ImaDickens.

Overall Score: 4.0/5
Story Score 3.0/5
Character Score: 5.0/5
Style Score: 3.0/5
Grammar Score: 5.0/5

Must admit that the title and blurb were a bit misleading. I was expecting a Dungeon Core adventure and ended up with a coming of age story. Even so, I still very much enjoyed it. The author might consider revising their synopsis a bit.

Story: Although the overall plot makes sense, the author does tend to use coincidence quite a bit to move things along. Gives it a Deux ex Machina feel which detracts from what is actually a good story.

Character: I think this is where the author shines. Joe is the kind of guy I'd love to pal around with. Pip's sister, although harsh and controlling is at heart only doing what she thinks best for her family. And the character of Miss Havisham is a revelation. Not to spoil anything, but she steals every scene she's in. Even the secondary characters are well developed and are integral to the story.

Style: The author tends to be a bit wordy and seems to enjoy extended description and internal dialogue just a bit too much. The dialogue, though beautifully written, just seems to go on too long at times.

Grammar: Couldn't find a single error. Very impressive.

Overall: Even with the story and style issues this was an enjoyable read. The story concept is actually quite good, but its implementation did suffer at times. What really saves this story for me are the richly detailed characters and how their interactions feel so real. If the author were to just tighten up the writing a bit, this story could be an instant classic.

Re: Reviewing Classic Books as if They Were Posted on Royal Road

#7
The Count of Monte Cristo by Adumas

0.5/5 Depressing

Well, this story started out promising in its first chapter. The author has clearly done his research, and his style/grammar is okay (no obvious typos) but things went downhill fast plot-wise. The MC starts out annoying lucky, but also weak, and he lets people walk all over him like a doormat. There's also a bunch of boring interludes with characters I don't care about. I thought Beware of Chicken's interludes were bad, but there's no way I could follow along with this story unless I turned off Discord and literally did nothing but read.

Back to the MC—he makes one irrational decision after another, and then gets himself thrown into prison at around Chapter 7 or 8. (Completely his fault—it was so obvious they were going to betray him.) I'll admit, I dropped it a few chapters later. Things got really depressing at this point ... seriously, like solitary confinement and suicide attempts. I suspect the author of being a masochist. Some of the comments were saying he meets some hidden master in prison and finally unlocks the system, but that supposedly takes years. Knowing this author, I wouldn't be surprised if the MC spent 10 more chapters in the prison arc only to have his gf marry someone else by the time he finally gets out. if If you like depressing stories, maybe give this one a try, otherwise don't bother.

Re: Reviewing Classic Books as if They Were Posted on Royal Road

#8
20,000 Leagues Under the Sea By FrenchGuy


Quote:Reviewed at 23: Coral Kingdom
Title: NO ONE CARES ABOUT FISH
1.0/5
Ok so, usually I'm willing to give an isekai a chance. And stories that start slow, I generally like them. The problem is, as soon as he gets transported into this underwater world, the already slow story GRINDS TO A HALT and basically becomes an encyclopedia. Like, we get it, you've spent a thousand hours worldbuilding, yeah, but you can't focus on that over the plot! NO ONE cares about the LISTS of fish and clams that are included in SEVERAL chapters!
And the author is all like "English isn't my native language, I'm sorry if you think this is boring"... Dude, I don't know what people in France find interesting, but I doubt they want to sit around learning about the scientific names of mollusks when they thought they were getting into a fun underwater isekai. Seriously, no excuse. Especially since the grammar and spelling are good. Like, that's the ONLY reason I'm not giving this story a .5
Also, is it just me, or is this guy kinda casually racist? I know we're supposed to separate the author's opinions from the character's opinions, but ehhhhhhhh
Also also, the title of the chapter, the one I reviewed this on? Yeah, it's just describing coral. No "kingdom", or even people. Just fish. And it isn't 20k leagues (whatever the heck a league is) down, he specifically states the depth of everything and we haven't gotten that far down yet. At this rate I don't think we'll ever get that far down.
Not sorry to be dropping this one. Peace out, FrenchGuy


Re: Reviewing Classic Books as if They Were Posted on Royal Road

#9

HereBeTreasure Wrote: Harry Potter

0.5/5 Useless MC 

Main character is pathetic with impossible plot armor and useless. Just gets carried by plot armor or hermione. Dumbledore should've been the MC. 

0.5/5 Expelliarmus Retardation for 500 chapters straight. Do not read if you value your brain cells. 

Why does this harry guy only use expelliarmus when people are trying to kill him? It's like I'm reading some kind of children's picture book or something where he can't do evil or some shit. Fucking garbage story, dropped on chapter 21. 

0.5/5 This magic system makes no sense at all, signs of a lazy author

'Wingardium leviosa' can be harvested for infinite energy, for example ten thousand feathers could generate 10 tons of newtons of force per hour, but nobody in this book series thinks that way? So fucking stupid. Garbage magic system and it's just a sign that the author is writing randomly. Go read Delve instead. 

Game of Thrones

0.5/5 Extremely Painful to Read 

Too many POV swaps, I don't give a fuck about them, and also this author never finishes his series. Why is Ned Stark so fucking stupid? Still, story was better when Ned was MC. Glad to drop this garbage story. (I don't care about R+L=J there's no room for subtlety in webnovels) 

0.5/5 Unrealistic depiction of sexual assault 

I am offended that this story displays sexual assault in such a trivial and unrealistic manner including but not limited to Jaime Lannister and Bronn and Littlefinger and Joffrey Baratheon. Out of principle, I am giving this story a 0.5 out of 5 and I hope that the author seeks professional help. There are also underaged characters engaging in these things such as Sansa Stark and Ramsay Bolton, and that deeply concerns me as a reader. I've reported this fiction and hope that it will get removed from the platform promptly. Please seek help, love from Idaho <33


This is such gold, I love you lmao

Re: Reviewing Classic Books as if They Were Posted on Royal Road

#10

Mad Wrote: 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea By FrenchGuy


Quote:Reviewed at 23: Coral Kingdom
Title: NO ONE CARES ABOUT FISH
1.0/5
Ok so, usually I'm willing to give an isekai a chance. And stories that start slow, I generally like them. The problem is, as soon as he gets transported into this underwater world, the already slow story GRINDS TO A HALT and basically becomes an encyclopedia. Like, we get it, you've spent a thousand hours worldbuilding, yeah, but you can't focus on that over the plot! NO ONE cares about the LISTS of fish and clams that are included in SEVERAL chapters!
And the author is all like "English isn't my native language, I'm sorry if you think this is boring"... Dude, I don't know what people in France find interesting, but I doubt they want to sit around learning about the scientific names of mollusks when they thought they were getting into a fun underwater isekai. Seriously, no excuse. Especially since the grammar and spelling are good. Like, that's the ONLY reason I'm not giving this story a .5
Also, is it just me, or is this guy kinda casually racist? I know we're supposed to separate the author's opinions from the character's opinions, but ehhhhhhhh
Also also, the title of the chapter, the one I reviewed this on? Yeah, it's just describing coral. No "kingdom", or even people. Just fish. And it isn't 20k leagues (whatever the heck a league is) down, he specifically states the depth of everything and we haven't gotten that far down yet. At this rate I don't think we'll ever get that far down.
Not sorry to be dropping this one. Peace out, FrenchGuy

I love this, this is so good. NO ONE CARES ABOUT FISH.

10/10