Can you love yourself? Can anyone?

#1
I think... it is a matter of identity. What defines you? Because the you that is your consciousness has neither your face, nor any other brain stuff. The you that is you is simply the awareness that you are you and not that other person sitting next to you.

You are you because of what you know, and what you've learned, and love is a concept applied to things that the consciousness that is you enjoys and things that make you happy.

So just being yourself would make those who love themselves happy? This is probably way too deep a rabbit hole to dive into. But, the separation of the awareness of your consciousness, and your brain mind body etc, that dissociation that your brain is the one depressed, and loaded with brain chemicals and not you is what allows you to love or hate those specific parts.

But that you that is you simply exists. It is just awareness and consciousness. It cannot love itself. I don't think you can. Can you?

Re: Can you love yourself? Can anyone?

#2

Quote:Can you love yourself?
Of course, you can love your own self. 
noun
  1. an intense feeling of deep affection.
  2. a great interest and pleasure in something.
I take so much pleasure in myself. I absolutely nut when I think of MYSELF. So. Wrong. 

Quote:Can anyone?
Can anyone love them self? Of course. Can anyone love me? Oh, I sure bet they do.



Serion Wrote: What defines you?
My big ass stinger yo. 

Serion Wrote: you is simply the awareness
I'm aware that this is starting to get a little pretentious. 
Serion Wrote: You are you because of what you know, and what you've learned, and love is a concept applied to things that the consciousness that is you enjoys and things that make you happy.


Dude, its just drugs. Its chemicals in your brain that make you feel happy when you kiss, when you eat, when you fuck, or when you do that really cool combo on DDR. 

Serion Wrote: So just being yourself would make those who love themselves happy?

Brain makes dumb chemicals that make you hate yourself, so you improve. Trick is to make the brain love certain things, apply those things to yourself, and then fucking blast off from all the serotonin you generate you perpetual energy machine you. 


Serion Wrote: It cannot love itself. I don't think you can. Can you?

Dude, did you not pass the Turing test? What the fuck. update your OS!

Re: Can you love yourself? Can anyone?

#3
I lost 90% of my brain cells reading that.

DrakanFascinating

On a serious note, the question is little more simple than it seems to be.

Simply, yes.

Although our entire being boils down to consciousness and awareness scientifically, it’s much more than that. Half of the mysteries of the consciousness haven’t even been solved, not to mention the actual brain itself. That’s the basis of psychology: to understand why the brain does things that are expected or unexpected. 

In people’s minds, they don’t want to boil down their entire being into consciousness. They have a reason to so. 

I mean, what would you do if someone told you your entire personality, shaped throughout your life, is created from a bunch of chemicals from your brain? 

There’s still the study into the afterlife and souls. Think about it. if our entire being consists of conscious and awareness, where do we go after we die? 

No one knows.

Coming back to loving yourself, it’s a strange phenomenon. Our consciousness develops from other factors such as experience and upbringing. 

Loving yourself also bring a fundamental question,

Are you happy with yourself? 

It’s a mixed bag when it comes down to that question. Some days you are and some days you aren’t. You can’t always be happy with yourself or dissatisfied with how you are.

Nothing lasts forever.

So in conclusion, you can to some extent. It’s one of those questions no one really brings up, because no one knows the answer in the first place! The human brain will always be a mystery, unless it’s fully explored haha.

Phew, I’m taking a well deserved rest after that. Hope that helped a little.

Re: Can you love yourself? Can anyone?

#4
I think it is possible for several reasons but I think it is necessary to define 'you' as the amalgamation of your brain, mind, body, awareness, consciousness- everything that makes you, you. There is more to that too though, you can love yourself for your actions or the impact you have on others, not just for who you are as a person. I don't think it is not necessary to love all parts of yourself but I think it is possible to. 


I might be thinking too hard about it but for someone who experienced depression and self hatred, to come out the other side (and work specifically on loving yourself) is to know the difference between disliking and liking yourself. Some days, it feels truly wild to say that I love myself but I got here  DrakanLaugh

Re: Can you love yourself? Can anyone?

#5
self-love
/ˈˌself ˈləv/
noun
regard for one's own well-being and happiness


AlexaLee Wrote: I might be thinking too hard about it but for someone who experienced depression and self hatred, to come out the other side (and work specifically on loving yourself) is to know the difference between disliking and liking yourself.

Take care of yourself. The fight to improve and maintain one's mental health can be really hard. I hope you are doing better. 

Re: Can you love yourself? Can anyone?

#8
Yeah ofc you can. Look at a little kid and tell me they don't love themselves. It ain't the fault of self-love that you get too occupied with other stuff later on. 

'Self love' and 'being yourself' is the same thing. In my case it's mostly been about quitting all that stuff i know I shouldn't be doing and bam, there we go. That's it. Literally all there is to it. If I manage to do that, then I don't do stuff I know I shouldn't do, therere's nothing about me left to dislike. That voice in your head that says "that's not what you should be doing and you know it" is the same regardless if it's a sudden, dumb impulse to jump off a bridge (we've all had that, right?),  saying something as a rude joke, avoid going to meet your friends when you know seeing them is self-care, or drink that 'just one more beer'. 

Actually doing that all the time takes some practice but yeah it's possible. Not necessarily easy but very simple. 

Re: Can you love yourself? Can anyone?

#9
I think 'you', or at least 'me' lol, has multiple parts.  There are parts of my personal history that I love, and parts that are just the opposite.  By default I do love my self-identity, and I can feel quite hurt or hostile if someone randomly criticizes an aspect of me that is part of that self-identity.  I know my best friend doesn't love his self-identity and that seems like a major contributer to his struggles with suicidal ideation.

Re: Can you love yourself? Can anyone?

#12
Our 'feeling' is that the conscious self is what makes the decisions. It deliberates and chooses.
The scientist's response is to say that we can neurologically see a decision being made many seconds before the conscious mind knows.
The conclusion is supposed to be that the conscious mind merely observed the choice and narrated it, making itself puppeteer in the story.
You are not the king of your brain. You are the creepy guy standing next to the king going "a most judicious choice, sire".

Re: Can you love yourself? Can anyone?

#13
It's not nearly as complicated as you make it sound.
If you accept facts about yourself you may find uncomfortable.
If you embrace those aspects.
If you understand them and use them to grow.
Then loving yourself barring any serious trauma or specific difficulties is exceptionally easy. It just doesn't seem like it because so many people flat out refuse to look at themselves in a critical way while remaining accepting of what they might find. People get too strung up on facts they don't like about themselves, and completely ignore the fact that accepting whatever it is about themselves will not only make them happier, but it's the best defense as well.

Generally we don't take advice from TV shows, but there is invaluable advice for self-love from episode 1 of Game of Thrones. 'Wear it like armor and it can never be used to hurt you,' which is one of the greatest pieces of advice there is.

We'll use ourselves for this example: We have a noticeably crooked nose. We were really self conscious about it, but at one point in our life when we learned enough about ourselves, we decided to embrace it. We applied this to every aspect of ourselves, and like that all those insecurities disappeared before the day was over.
 
Anyway, that's our tangent on mental health and self love for the night.

Re: Can you love yourself? Can anyone?

#15

Serion Wrote: I think... it is a matter of identity. What defines you? Because the you that is your consciousness has neither your face, nor any other brain stuff. The you that is you is simply the awareness that you are you and not that other person sitting next to you.


You are correct. If you were your thoughts or feelings, you'd seize to be whenever you're not thinking or feeling. That doesn't happen, so you must be something else. You're also not your face or your brain, because time or trauma can change that, but you're not a different person because of it. 

So you must be the smallest part of you that you can't divide any further. You are the pure conscioussness that experiences your life. That's the only part that was always there, from the first moment you were. Everything else came later. 



Quote:You are you because of what you know, and what you've learned, 

As a human being you have a personality. A role, into which you were thrown. You were a child, a friend, a lover, a loner, a student and so much more. Those roles formed your personality. A personality is like the operating system of a computer. You can interact with other people and live in society because of it. A cat or a dog doesn't have a personality. They don't know stuff about themselves like that they beautiful or cute. They simply are. 


In that way your personality is like your arm, or your sight. Extremely important and one of the most powerful tools, but no the be all end all of the world. You wouldn't feel inferior to someone else because they have a stronger arm now, would you?


Quote:and love is a concept applied to things that the consciousness that is you enjoys and things that make you happy.


Love is a concept isn't necessarily wrong per se, but it's a very dangerous assumption. It would mean that it requires an intelligent mind to love. Again, a cat or a dog couldn't love because they wouldn't be intelligent enough to understand higher concepts. Newborn babies couldn't love because they had no time to learn that concept. 

Through these examples you can see that love is not a concept, but more a natural state of being. It's often confused with romantic love, but to me the purest form of love is joy and acceptance of what is. That way, even a tree could be loving, because he simply is. That might sound esoteric and wishy washy and all that, but to me it is very beautiful to live in a world filled with love. You might want to try that too. Even if you're wrong, it feels incredible to be surrounded by love.

Which brings me to the important take away for you: Love isn't something the brain does. Love is something the brain merely perceives if it's allowed to be. If you don't love yourself your brain won't be able to tell you how to do it.


Quote:So just being yourself would make those who love themselves happy? This is probably way too deep a rabbit hole to dive into.


Not at all. I think that's quite true. A dog can't be anyone else. Neither can a cat, or a baby. Incidentally, people love nothing more than cats, dogs and babies. Because they simply are and they accept you for you who are too. 

I wouldn't tell you to just be yourself though. It's disingenuous to tell you that everyone will love if you if you're just yourself. You see, right now you have a lot stuff within yourself that you can't quite deal with. Take your self hate for example. There are some who can deal with that, but most suffer too much when you expose them to it, so you need to 'cleanse yourself' first. With other words, let all that pent up rage and hurt out and others will be happy to just be around you.


Quote:But, the separation of the awareness of your consciousness, and your brain mind body etc, that dissociation that your brain is the one depressed, and loaded with brain chemicals and not you is what allows you to love or hate those specific parts.

I see you're a very smart person. You can be proud of that, but this sentence shows me that you're brutally overthinking things. You need to stop thinking that much in order to relax. You're not smart enough to solve this like an equation. No one is. Happiness and intelligence do not go hand in hand, sadly.

Quote:But that you that is you simply exists. It is just awareness and consciousness. It cannot love itself. I don't think you can. Can you?

Listen, self loathing is a vicious cycle. Very hard to break out of, even though I hope that you manage to. The secret here is that you love yourself already. Look at small children. They're all born loving themselves immensely. They can poop themselves without being the smallest bit ashamed of themselves. So loving oneself is possible. I just gave you proof that you can't refute (unless you really want to believe that self love is impossible?)

Growing up, some of us hear messages like that we're welcome and that we're wanted and loved. Others here messages that they're a burden, stupid, ugly and utterly unlovable. They grow up to loathe themselves because they have come to believe that they cannot possibly be loved. That knowledge, as wrong as it is, is so strong, so overwhelming that every positive feeling of self appreciation is strangled with an iron fist because it goes against everything one believes in.

That is self loathing. You don't have to love yourself. You just have to stop hating yourself. The moment you don't reproach yourself is the moment you discover that those feelings of joy and love were within you all along. 

To do that, you need to stop thinking. Right now, they're your only escape from those biting, vicious remarks you hear within yourself telling you how utterly despicable you are. If you stop thinking, you lose your only defense against your self loathing. Only then can you begin to realize how much you're actually torturing yourself. Stop thinking those thoughts too and you'll feel empty and depressed, but the hate is gone. Then you can start filling yourself with positive things. 

That's how I did it, at least. I'm still doing it. I too had some intense feelings of self hatred when I began searching for love. I'd go into the forest and scream until my voice failed me because the very thought of my own existence disgusted me. I hated myself for the cowardice that kept me from hating myself more. I know how it feels, believe me.

That's why I want to help you. If you need someone to talk about everything and nothing and stuff no one else could ever truly know. If you need someone to let all that repressed stuff, all the rage and hurt and poisonous thoughts that you're ashamed of having out, just someone who can accept you at your worst, you can write me a message. We'll figure stuff out from there, don't you worry.

I'm just here to tell you that there is one hand outstretched and waiting for you to take it if you feel like it could be right for you.