Re: Please critique my new story's Title and Synopsis

#1
I've been working on a new story, its a family drama. I thought I would post the title and synopsis here for some criticism.

Thanks in advance!






Quantum Shifter Overdrive
Benny Shaw is out for blood; his father's blood. He wants nothing more than to take the life of the man who gave him his own and he will stop at nothing to track down his father and make him pay.

When his father leaves him a strange device called a Quantum Shifter, Benny's mission of vengeance goes into overdrive and takes him across parallel realities and to different universes where the only thing that remains the same is his burning hatred.
Will Benny succeed in his quest to kill his bastard of a father? Will He ever find his way back to the world he came from? Will forces beyond his imagination stand in the way of righteous vengeance? 
Find out in Quantum Shifter Overdrive!!!

Re: Please critique my new story's Title and Synopsis

#3
Thanks for the feedback! I switched it up, so now the first paragraph mentions why Benny is out for vengance. The second paragraph makes it a bit more obvious what he will be up against, those were the "forces beyond his imagination" that I had in the first draft. The third paragraph asks the questions and puts a little humor in it (and yes, Mexican food is mentioned often in the story).

As far as the title goes, I got nothing. I have spent weeks trying to think of something catchy to no avail, and this was the best I could come up with. I don't really like it either. 

I wanted to mention "Shifting" in the title since it's the main plot device that the characters use; "Sliders" slide, "Jaunters" jaunt, and in this story "Shifters" shift between universes.

If you have a good title suggestion, I'm all ears. I really would like something better.




Benny Shaw is out for blood; his father's blood. After abandoning Benny and his mother to a life of destitution and years of abuse by a ruthless gang leader, his father mysteriously disappeared.

But when Benny's father leaves him a strange device called a Quantum Shifter, Benny's mission of vengeance goes into overdrive and takes him across parallel worlds and to different universes where he encounters powerful forces at war in a bid to control all of reality.

Will Benny succeed in his quest to kill his bastard of a father? Will He ever find his way back to the world he came from? Will powerful forces stand in the way of righteous vengeance? And what universe has the best Mexican food?

Find out in Quantum Shifter Overdrive!!! 

Re: Please critique my new story's Title and Synopsis

#5
One thing I’d mention in terms of considering titles is that ‘shifter’ often has werewolf (or other were-creature) connotations. I get that the device in the book is called quantum shifter, but I think it’s worth considering what the average reader might think of when it comes to the title, as that’s often a major point of interest/draw for the book/serial.

Just my $0.02!

Re: Please critique my new story's Title and Synopsis

#6
I like your revised blurb. Adding the reason for Benny's hatred and the forces that he's facing works well. I kind of like the title. It's a clever play on Bachmann Turner Overdrive (yes, young folks won't get it). However, I agree that it really doesn't reveal much about the story. I think somehow working vengeance into the title would help. Maybe something along the lines of Quantum Vengeance might work.