Re: Evil Genie

#773
Hah! That's life in general so no real changes there. Anyways, granted, you're dead, but later get reincarnated into one of those bad stories at random and may keep reincarnating or whatever upon subsequent deaths. I hear that there's one where the MC was a yandere magnet/generator and any female he met would soon enter obsessive, possessive, stabby mode.

I wish I had some tea right now.

Re: Evil Genie

#774
The genie gives you the tea.  It is the perfect cup of tea.  

The brew that is in front of you is effervescent.  The smell rises through the heavens and even the gods are envious of your cup.  

Each tea leaf has been harvested by a monk who has spent decades of their life tirelessly studying nothing but tea plants.  Tea is their lives and they are well into their fifties and sixties before they are allowed to even pick one leaf.  Even then, they choose carefully.  Tens of thousands of less than perfect tea leaves are discarded before each singular leaf is selected.  Virgin handmaidens of emperors dry each leaf before they are ground.  

The water is gathered from the tears of love of mermaids who have left the water for the love of mortals.   And a dragon was captured at the loss of life of 100,000 brave heroes simply to provide a source of heat to bring the water to a proper temperature.

There is a wedge of lemon.

You savor the smell, the color, the texture of the tea in anticipation.

Then I come along and say "Thanks dude, I needed something to drink after that hike." and swallow it down in one gulp and burp in pleasure.  

I wish I could track down all my 0.5-star reviewers and feed them their balls.