Re: I don't need a review swap but.

#2
I haven't read the text of your story yet, but at first blush your blurb raises red flags about the prose quality.


Quote:What's worse than being blind, deaf, and mute? Not much, but follow along as the main character (name your character here) obtains a legacy (What does 'obtain a legacy even mean? Sounds like "do good things so people will remember him," but then the next line makes me realize I have no idea what's going on) to make use of his senses, seeing the world and interacting with it for the first time. At All the while, he raises raising his powers in order to keep his acquired senses from being stolen. (can you add a short bit about who or what wants to steal his powers?)


Re: I don't need a review swap but.

#3
I'm sorry about that, I revised the synopsis.
What's worse than being blind, deaf, and mute? Not much but follow along as Lang, our protagonist, is chosen to obtain the stone of beginnings and is able to make use of his lost senses to interact with the world. All the while raising his powers in order to keep his acquired senses from being stolen from those who wish to become the beginning, The Observer.
Does that seem better?

Re: I don't need a review swap but.

#4
It's definitely better, good work.

Not much, but follow along (add a comma after the introductory phrase)

our protagonist, (we know he's our protagonist, because you're talking about him in the blurb)

Stone of Beginnings (this sounds like an important artifact, so should be capitalized)

All the while raising his powers All the while, he raises his powers (Add a comma after the introductory phrase, and make sure to add an actor to the sentence! As you had it, no one is actually doing the raising of powers. You raise your power, or you increase your powers. You don't raise your powers.)

from being stolen from by those he who wishes to become the bBeginning, The the Observer. ("Stolen from" doesn't make sense if the Observer is stealing from Lang. The article "the" doesn't need to be capitalized. Unless the Observer is actually multiple people or an organization, he/she/it should be referred to in the singular, not the plural.)