I'm almost ready to break free of the hiatus the site put my book in (weep, cry, moan, b**ch) last year was a horror show, if it was bad it happened right after the other. Anyway, have clawed my way back up again and have found time to finish revising and rewriting. I'm so close! Would someone be so kind as to read chapter 16 in my book soul tears and let me know if you see any jarring errors? Thank you kindly!

Is a link okay? https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/35440/soul-tear/chapter/551410/chapter-16-a-shady-world