nickfeast Wrote: But I wanted to eat those gold coins! I'll forgive you if you told me who you bet, and how badly you lost :P


Squeaks can have it, as long as he doesn't neglect his furnace duties in the basement. I'm comfy in the supply closet anyways, some of the hands might be a bit nibbled, I get hungry at night, sue me!

Not sure what your beef with coffee drinkers is, but the idea of people who always feel the need to tell people that their 'special' for eating or drinking or eating something is definitely one of the ingredients. Now what would we call that in three words or less?

No, that's how it starts, 'just one more person' they say, 'it'll be fine' they say, 'we can keep them in check' they say, and then before you know it I'm stuck doing a manual reboot of the multiverse. XD

But I need them! I don't want to have to go to the bank. Fine. You know that person who sits over on the corner of third street who always says that they can manipulate reality for a price? Well... I may have decided to call them on it and now it turns out that they were a hustler and I owe them a big bag of gold coins. Didn't even get anything good out of it.

Eh, I think as long as we throw some of the hands down there and occasionally trap a live person/monster down there, he'll keep going? I may have to sue you...

Yeah, I don't know either. I drink coffee, I just seem to harbour a hatred for those kinds of people? I'm not sure what you'd call them though? Falsely pretentious assholes?

Ah, but it'll be fine!! We can keep them in check! Plus when was the last time you really had to do a manual reboot of the multiverse? Not for a while right?

nickfeast Wrote:

HappyCapybara Wrote:

nickfeast Wrote:

HappyCapybary Wrote: "An Olympus Platter, two cups of water, one of your finest alcoholic beverages, and a bowl filled to the brim with popcorn chicken..." The boy sighs, as he grabs two pouches from his backpack.

He tosses the pouch full of gold towards the bartender before, opening the other pouch. Grabbing a dice out of the pouch the boy looks at it. Runic symbols are encrested upon each side, and each symbol has a different colored glow to it.

Rolling the die, a symbol shines in front of the boy's face as the table turns into pure gold. 

"Sorry,"  he says as he lies his head on the now pure gold table.

"A two problems, I have no idea what popcorn chicken is, and you seem to be under the impression that we value gold here."


He puts his hand on the table it and the shine disappears as it turns back to the dull grimy wood underneath the boys head.

"Now, I will eat this pouch of gold that you've offered, it's only polite, but if you want my attention you should have led with a pouch full of souls."

"I don't have a pouch, only a chest full..." the boy sighed, "will that work?"

"Done!" The Keeper tries to look cool as he wipes drool of his chins. "Gonna need an Olympus Platter, two cups of water, and a mind bomb out here!" He yells at the kitchen, and something growls in response.


"Now, we're still going to need you to answer some questions about this 'popcorn chicken', first what's popcorn, second what's chicken, third is the recipe in any way evil?"

The dragon swiftly inhales its' food, as the boy finishes his bowl of popcorn chicken and cup of water. He lets out a sigh of relief as he looks at the bartender. 


"Say bartender this food tastes pretty good!" exclaims the boy as the baby dragon roars with happiness. 

"Say you made the dragon happy," the boy says as he looks at the bartender, "By any chance interested in a never-ending chicken leg?" 

"Picked it up from a fantasy dimension far off," the boy laughs as he tears off a piece. The chicken leg quickly grows back the piece.

Hey, are you trying to starve me here?!
THIS IS BLASPHEMY! 
I ordered for everything you got a day ago, AN ENTIRE DAY, and you completely ignored me!

The Wrote: Hey, are you trying to starve me here?!
THIS IS BLASPHEMY! 
I ordered for everything you got a day ago, AN ENTIRE DAY, and you completely ignored me!

There's only one bartender give a little patience, if you want I can make you some popcorn chicken while you wait.

HappyCapybara Wrote:

The Wrote: Hey, are you trying to starve me here?!
THIS IS BLASPHEMY! 
I ordered for everything you got a day ago, AN ENTIRE DAY, and you completely ignored me!

There's only one bartender give a little patience, if you want I can make you some popcorn chicken while you wait.

Popcorn chicken?

What is this "popcorn chicken" that you speak of?
POPCORN AND CHICKEN SHOULD NEVER GO TOGETHER!
...
Gimme a bowl of it.

The Wrote:

HappyCapybara Wrote:

The Wrote: Hey, are you trying to starve me here?!
THIS IS BLASPHEMY! 
I ordered for everything you got a day ago, AN ENTIRE DAY, and you completely ignored me!

There's only one bartender give a little patience, if you want I can make you some popcorn chicken while you wait.

Popcorn chicken?

What is this "popcorn chicken" that you speak of?
POPCORN AND CHICKEN SHOULD NEVER GO TOGETHER!
...
Gimme a bowl of it.

The boy rushes into the kitchen, as he begins making the dish. The boy swiftly walks out after around ten minutes with a bowl full of popcorn chicken.

"Don't forget to pay," the boy laughs.

HappyCapybara Wrote:

The Wrote:

HappyCapybara Wrote:

The Wrote: Hey, are you trying to starve me here?!
THIS IS BLASPHEMY! 
I ordered for everything you got a day ago, AN ENTIRE DAY, and you completely ignored me!

There's only one bartender give a little patience, if you want I can make you some popcorn chicken while you wait.

Popcorn chicken?

What is this "popcorn chicken" that you speak of?
POPCORN AND CHICKEN SHOULD NEVER GO TOGETHER!
...
Gimme a bowl of it.

The boy rushes into the kitchen, as he begins making the dish. The boy swiftly walks out after around ten minutes with a bowl full of popcorn chicken.

"Don't forget to pay," the boy laughs.

...Eh.

It tasted horrible.
I want a refund, but I never paid, so...

HappyCapybara Wrote:

nickfeast Wrote:

HappyCapybara Wrote:

nickfeast Wrote:

HappyCapybary Wrote: "An Olympus Platter, two cups of water, one of your finest alcoholic beverages, and a bowl filled to the brim with popcorn chicken..." The boy sighs, as he grabs two pouches from his backpack.

He tosses the pouch full of gold towards the bartender before, opening the other pouch. Grabbing a dice out of the pouch the boy looks at it. Runic symbols are encrested upon each side, and each symbol has a different colored glow to it.

Rolling the die, a symbol shines in front of the boy's face as the table turns into pure gold. 

"Sorry,"  he says as he lies his head on the now pure gold table.

"A two problems, I have no idea what popcorn chicken is, and you seem to be under the impression that we value gold here."


He puts his hand on the table it and the shine disappears as it turns back to the dull grimy wood underneath the boys head.

"Now, I will eat this pouch of gold that you've offered, it's only polite, but if you want my attention you should have led with a pouch full of souls."

"I don't have a pouch, only a chest full..." the boy sighed, "will that work?"

"Done!" The Keeper tries to look cool as he wipes drool of his chins. "Gonna need an Olympus Platter, two cups of water, and a mind bomb out here!" He yells at the kitchen, and something growls in response.


"Now, we're still going to need you to answer some questions about this 'popcorn chicken', first what's popcorn, second what's chicken, third is the recipe in any way evil?"

The boy gets up before jumping over the table and walking into the kitchen. He shortly after walks out with popcorn chicken he's eating.

"Okay, rude, but I'll allow it, if given the choice, I'd always prefer that customers serve themselves, less hassle for me." The Keeper smiles, with what is obviously soul residue running down his chin.

Proxy's Wrote: Bartender...give me the sexist drink you got, and make sure it's the heavy stuff.

Sure, personally I prefer the "Sock-goblin beer sweaty for that extra zing." With extra sweat for getting in the mood, it reeks of sex, but it isn't everyone's cup of sweat, so if you want something different, have a look at the menu in the first post...

The Wrote: Hey, are you trying to starve me here?!
THIS IS BLASPHEMY! 
I ordered for everything you got a day ago, AN ENTIRE DAY, and you completely ignored me!

Now now little one, don't have a hissy fit or we'll have to put you in timeout, we have a special corner where we put the self-proclaimed deities.
You'd be surprised how often it comes in handy, what all the little deities seem to have in common is they don't know how to behave :P

nickfeast Wrote:

HappyCapybara Wrote:

nickfeast Wrote:

HappyCapybara Wrote:

nickfeast Wrote:

HappyCapybary Wrote: "An Olympus Platter, two cups of water, one of your finest alcoholic beverages, and a bowl filled to the brim with popcorn chicken..." The boy sighs, as he grabs two pouches from his backpack.

He tosses the pouch full of gold towards the bartender before, opening the other pouch. Grabbing a dice out of the pouch the boy looks at it. Runic symbols are encrested upon each side, and each symbol has a different colored glow to it.

Rolling the die, a symbol shines in front of the boy's face as the table turns into pure gold. 

"Sorry,"  he says as he lies his head on the now pure gold table.

"A two problems, I have no idea what popcorn chicken is, and you seem to be under the impression that we value gold here."


He puts his hand on the table it and the shine disappears as it turns back to the dull grimy wood underneath the boys head.

"Now, I will eat this pouch of gold that you've offered, it's only polite, but if you want my attention you should have led with a pouch full of souls."

"I don't have a pouch, only a chest full..." the boy sighed, "will that work?"

"Done!" The Keeper tries to look cool as he wipes drool of his chins. "Gonna need an Olympus Platter, two cups of water, and a mind bomb out here!" He yells at the kitchen, and something growls in response.


"Now, we're still going to need you to answer some questions about this 'popcorn chicken', first what's popcorn, second what's chicken, third is the recipe in any way evil?"

The boy gets up before jumping over the table and walking into the kitchen. He shortly after walks out with popcorn chicken he's eating.

"Okay, rude, but I'll allow it, if given the choice, I'd always prefer that customers serve themselves, less hassle for me." The Keeper smiles, with what is obviously soul residue running down his chin.

"I'm not paying you since I had to make my own meal." the boy chuckles as he looks at the bartender

AlexaLee Wrote:

nickfeast Wrote: But I wanted to eat those gold coins! I'll forgive you if you told me who you bet, and how badly you lost :P


Squeaks can have it, as long as he doesn't neglect his furnace duties in the basement. I'm comfy in the supply closet anyways, some of the hands might be a bit nibbled, I get hungry at night, sue me!

Not sure what your beef with coffee drinkers is, but the idea of people who always feel the need to tell people that their 'special' for eating or drinking or eating something is definitely one of the ingredients. Now what would we call that in three words or less?

No, that's how it starts, 'just one more person' they say, 'it'll be fine' they say, 'we can keep them in check' they say, and then before you know it I'm stuck doing a manual reboot of the multiverse. XD

But I need them! I don't want to have to go to the bank. Fine. You know that person who sits over on the corner of third street who always says that they can manipulate reality for a price? Well... I may have decided to call them on it and now it turns out that they were a hustler and I owe them a big bag of gold coins. Didn't even get anything good out of it.

Eh, I think as long as we throw some of the hands down there and occasionally trap a live person/monster down there, he'll keep going? I may have to sue you...

Yeah, I don't know either. I drink coffee, I just seem to harbour a hatred for those kinds of people? I'm not sure what you'd call them though? Falsely pretentious assholes?

Ah, but it'll be fine!! We can keep them in check! Plus when was the last time you really had to do a manual reboot of the multiverse? Not for a while right?

Ah, the old "I can manipulate reality scam", how did you fall for that? I guess you can have the coins, I'm having this chest of souls for dinner instead...


We could use one of these "pocorn chickens" to lure one of the customers into the basement? I still don't know what it is, but they seem to be self-making?

Okay, so what kind of creature do we know that is both elitist and pretentious?

It was like six months ago, so no, you're not getting an ass-i-tant! :P

nickfeast Wrote: Ah, the old "I can manipulate reality scam", how did you fall for that? I guess you can have the coins, I'm having this chest of souls for dinner instead...


We could use one of these "pocorn chickens" to lure one of the customers into the basement? I still don't know what it is, but they seem to be self-making?

Okay, so what kind of creature do we know that is both elitist and pretentious?

It was like six months ago, so no, you're not getting an ass-i-tant! :P

I mean, I set the bar so high that I thought they'd never be able to do it! And I was bored so.... thanks for the coins. I'll just be taking them and not making any more bets along the way *winks*

Oh, that's a good idea! Oh, they're self making? What are the ingredients because you know that Squeaks struggles with dairy.

... Humans? Also that damn pegasus unicorn thing.

Six months is a long time!! I think it's plenty enough time

HappyCapybara Wrote: The boy gets up before jumping over the table and walking into the kitchen. He shortly after walks out with popcorn chicken he's eating.

Quote:"Okay, rude, but I'll allow it, if given the choice, I'd always prefer that customers serve themselves, less hassle for me." The Keeper smiles, with what is obviously soul residue running down his chin.

"I'm not paying you since I had to make my own meal." the boy chuckles as he looks at the bartender

"So, this chest of souls wasn't payment?" The Keeper says, talking with his mouth full, before he reaches in for the last soul and plops it into his mouth. He holds up a finger for you to wait as he chews carefully and wipes his chin again.
"There that's better, I feel like I was youngster of of eighteen eternities again!"

AlexaLee Wrote:

nickfeast Wrote: Ah, the old "I can manipulate reality scam", how did you fall for that? I guess you can have the coins, I'm having this chest of souls for dinner instead...


We could use one of these "pocorn chickens" to lure one of the customers into the basement? I still don't know what it is, but they seem to be self-making?

Okay, so what kind of creature do we know that is both elitist and pretentious?

It was like six months ago, so no, you're not getting an ass-i-tant! :P

I mean, I set the bar so high that I thought they'd never be able to do it! And I was bored so.... thanks for the coins. I'll just be taking them and not making any more bets along the way *winks*

Oh, that's a good idea! Oh, they're self making? What are the ingredients because you know that Squeaks struggles with dairy.

... Humans? Also that damn pegasus unicorn thing.

Six months is a long time!! I think it's plenty enough time

Sure sure, I know all to well about changing reality out of boredom, but no winking alright? I'm against winking.... :P


I just told you I have no idea what it is, but that boy over there seems to be able to produce them out of practically nothing. Ask him?

So, you're suggesting we create a Human-Pegasus-Unicorn hybrid, a true abomination of elitist pretension, and then what? Smash it into a pulp, strain it, parboil, until we finally distil the essence of smugness out of it? Because now that I say it out loud, that sounds delicious!

I starting to think you don't know how time works XD

nickfeast Wrote: Sure sure, I know all to well about changing reality out of boredom, but no winking alright? I'm against winking.... :P


I just told you I have no idea what it is, but that boy over there seems to be able to produce them out of practically nothing. Ask him?

So, you're suggesting we create a Human-Pegasus-Unicorn hybrid, a true abomination of elitist pretension, and then what? Smash it into a pulp, strain it, parboil, until we finally distil the essence of smugness out of it? Because now that I say it out loud, that sounds delicious!

I starting to think you don't know how time works XD

Sorry, let me try that again. I'll try super hard not to get them to change reality again just because I'm bored 

Huh, interesting. Boy! What's going on with that chicken popcorn? Where'd you get it from?

Yeah, that sounds like a reasonable thing to do, doesn't it? Like, a lot of work but reasonable?

Wait, how does time work? It's relative, no? 

nickfeast Wrote:

HappyCapybara Wrote: The boy gets up before jumping over the table and walking into the kitchen. He shortly after walks out with popcorn chicken he's eating.

Quote:"Okay, rude, but I'll allow it, if given the choice, I'd always prefer that customers serve themselves, less hassle for me." The Keeper smiles, with what is obviously soul residue running down his chin.

"I'm not paying you since I had to make my own meal." the boy chuckles as he looks at the bartender

"So, this chest of souls wasn't payment?" The Keeper says, talking with his mouth full, before he reaches in for the last soul and plops it into his mouth. He holds up a finger for you to wait as he chews carefully and wipes his chin again.
"There that's better, I feel like I was youngster of of eighteen eternities again!"

The boy laughs, "Nope just a tip for making me laugh occasionally."

AlexaLee Wrote:

nickfeast Wrote: Sure sure, I know all to well about changing reality out of boredom, but no winking alright? I'm against winking.... :P


I just told you I have no idea what it is, but that boy over there seems to be able to produce them out of practically nothing. Ask him?

So, you're suggesting we create a Human-Pegasus-Unicorn hybrid, a true abomination of elitist pretension, and then what? Smash it into a pulp, strain it, parboil, until we finally distil the essence of smugness out of it? Because now that I say it out loud, that sounds delicious!

I starting to think you don't know how time works XD

Sorry, let me try that again. I'll try super hard not to get them to change reality again just because I'm bored 

Huh, interesting. Boy! What's going on with that chicken popcorn? Where'd you get it from?

Yeah, that sounds like a reasonable thing to do, doesn't it? Like, a lot of work but reasonable?

Wait, how does time work? It's relative, no?

Change reality all you want, who cares, it can't get any worse, just stop it with the winking!


Seems he's not listening, or he's just being rude again, it's kind of adorable don't you think?

Once we have a working recipe we'll get someone else to do all the backbreaking work while we take all the profit, that's what they call being entrepreneurial. It's a bit too evil for my taste personally, but there's nothing more smug than someone who gets rich off someone else's work and think of themselves as 'self-made', so for this recipe it should work?

Only novices time-enjoyer thinks it's relative, it's actually wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey... stuff, that's the technical explanation :P

nickfeast Wrote: Change reality all you want, who cares, it can't get any worse, just stop it with the winking!


Seems he's not listening, or he's just being rude again, it's kind of adorable don't you think?

Once we have a working recipe we'll get someone else to do all the backbreaking work while we take all the profit, that's what they call being entrepreneurial. It's a bit too evil for my taste personally, but there's nothing more smug than someone who gets rich off someone else's work and think of themselves as 'self-made', so for this recipe it should work?

Only novices time-enjoyer thinks it's relative, it's actually wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey... stuff, that's the technical explanation :P

Sure 

Oh damn. I can't work out if it is rude or cute. Maybe both? 

Awesome. I love that. Yeah exactly! We are self made! (Ignore the massive amount of funding in the background, like with Kylie Kardashian, it doesn't count). I think that should work? Do we need anything else for the cocktail?

Well I'm sorry I'm relatively new to this whole thing! I've been around for under a millennia, unlike some people.

HappyCapybara Wrote:

nickfeast Wrote:

HappyCapybara Wrote: The boy gets up before jumping over the table and walking into the kitchen. He shortly after walks out with popcorn chicken he's eating.

Quote:"Okay, rude, but I'll allow it, if given the choice, I'd always prefer that customers serve themselves, less hassle for me." The Keeper smiles, with what is obviously soul residue running down his chin.

"I'm not paying you since I had to make my own meal." the boy chuckles as he looks at the bartender

"So, this chest of souls wasn't payment?" The Keeper says, talking with his mouth full, before he reaches in for the last soul and plops it into his mouth. He holds up a finger for you to wait as he chews carefully and wipes his chin again.
"There that's better, I feel like I was youngster of of eighteen eternities again!"

The boy laughs, "Nope just a tip for making me laugh occasionally."

"Service with a laugh, that's the Tavern guarantee. Not us laughing of course, the Tavern curse is no laughing matter, more like customers laughing at us. The way kids laugh at depressed animals in the zoo, ripping their own fur out just so they can feel something." The Keeper pulls out a few of his nose-hairs and flinches.
"But if you want to make your own dinner in return for a chest of souls, let us know, we'll be here."
"Oh, and Alexa had a question for you before you go."