nickfeast Wrote: Never say never, especially when you're making things up, you haven't read "the Tavern's policy guide for dummies"? I clearly states, if you make a mess, you buy the cleaning supplies to clean it up :P


I think they call that power coursing the dictator-high, or is it the control-freaks desert? But you earned it, I'm sill suffering the after affects of the sliming, but he seems more content, so I guess it's okay :)

Ah, the she probably falls into the category of regular scam-artist, we do get a fair share of those...
As I said, I don't know, not sure how it works, maybe you should make an information-request at the reality-offices, they might know?

How did I miss this? Squeaks has been a real lately. Have you been up to his room? He threw such a nightmare because I wouldn't let him keep that creepy three legged soul sucker so at least now I guess we have an answer to who caused the mess in the basement.

You literally told me know to read that?? You said that there was a policy folder somewhere under something and that if I found it I should just ignore it??

Ahh, either ways it's delicious. Can we bottle it somehow and add it to the menu? Damn, at least he's happy!

Probably. Either that or you're just trying to get out of paying your bill. What do you owe her for? Ingredients? Did she curse someone for you? Oh no, Keep. Was she a past Tavern bartender??

If I'm going to do that, I might as well just wait! It'll probably take longer to hear back from the reality office!! And even then I'd just get told 'You submitted the wrong form. You needed to submit 32b/3 part 2 not 32b/3 part 1! Idiot!"

AlexaLee Wrote:

nickfeast Wrote: Never say never, especially when you're making things up, you haven't read "the Tavern's policy guide for dummies"? I clearly states, if you make a mess, you buy the cleaning supplies to clean it up :P


I think they call that power coursing the dictator-high, or is it the control-freaks desert? But you earned it, I'm sill suffering the after affects of the sliming, but he seems more content, so I guess it's okay :)

Ah, the she probably falls into the category of regular scam-artist, we do get a fair share of those...
As I said, I don't know, not sure how it works, maybe you should make an information-request at the reality-offices, they might know?

How did I miss this? Squeaks has been a real lately. Have you been up to his room? He threw such a nightmare because I wouldn't let him keep that creepy three legged soul sucker so at least now I guess we have an answer to who caused the mess in the basement.

You literally told me know to read that?? You said that there was a policy folder somewhere under something and that if I found it I should just ignore it??

Ahh, either ways it's delicious. Can we bottle it somehow and add it to the menu? Damn, at least he's happy!

Probably. Either that or you're just trying to get out of paying your bill. What do you owe her for? Ingredients? Did she curse someone for you? Oh no, Keep. Was she a past Tavern bartender??

If I'm going to do that, I might as well just wait! It'll probably take longer to hear back from the reality office!! And even then I'd just get told 'You submitted the wrong form. You needed to submit 32b/3 part 2 not 32b/3 part 1! Idiot!"

What's a three legged soul sucker?


"You said that there was a policy folder somewhere under something and that if I found it I should just ignore it??"
Hmm, that does sound like something I would say, but I feel like you've worked here long enough now to realise you shouldn't listen to me XD

Oooh yes, I can see it now "The Smugness" a drink that gives you the undeserved feeling of being right and rubbing it in someone's face! What's in it?

As I said, as far as I know, I haven't seen her before, which of course doesn't mean she can't be all of the things you just said :P

They do love their forms...

nickfeast Wrote: What's a three legged soul sucker?


"You said that there was a policy folder somewhere under something and that if I found it I should just ignore it??"
Hmm, that does sound like something I would say, but I feel like you've worked here long enough now to realise you shouldn't listen to me XD

Oooh yes, I can see it now "The Smugness" a drink that gives you the undeserved feeling of being right and rubbing it in someone's face! What's in it?

As I said, as far as I know, I haven't seen her before, which of course doesn't mean she can't be all of the things you just said :P

They do love their forms...

Go upstairs and find out. I honestly don't think I can describe it properly. Don't trust how cute it looks though... Just trust me there.

I didn't then!! You said that on my first day here! I've obviously forgotten about it and moved on because why wouldn't I!

Ah, I'd like to quickly preorder twelve please. I think it's going to just have to be the overwhelming sensation of finally being proven right? 

Well... yeah. Maybe I'll go have a word with her... At least see if I can get here out of the damn Tavern.

They do. Which would be more painful, waiting to find out or doing the form?

A boy walks in with a small backpack. He has brown hair and a look on his face as if he had just had the worst day of his life. 

Tripping once on a stool, he pats the dust off his clothes as he gets up and sits on a stool at the table where the bartenders at.

He sighs before speaking, "An Olympus Platter, two cups of water, one of your finest alcoholic beverages, and a bowl filled to the brim with popcorn chicken..."

The boy brushes his hand through his hair before finally making eye contact with the bartender for the first time

"Say bartender, got any good stories?" the boy continues, "I've had a rather horrible day and just-" 

He shrugs before finishing what he was saying, "Oh right, this is the first time you've seen my true form... I'm the capybara that had a dragon."

AlexaLee Wrote:

nickfeast Wrote: What's a three legged soul sucker?


"You said that there was a policy folder somewhere under something and that if I found it I should just ignore it??"
Hmm, that does sound like something I would say, but I feel like you've worked here long enough now to realise you shouldn't listen to me XD

Oooh yes, I can see it now "The Smugness" a drink that gives you the undeserved feeling of being right and rubbing it in someone's face! What's in it?

As I said, as far as I know, I haven't seen her before, which of course doesn't mean she can't be all of the things you just said :P

They do love their forms...

Go upstairs and find out. I honestly don't think I can describe it properly. Don't trust how cute it looks though... Just trust me there.

I didn't then!! You said that on my first day here! I've obviously forgotten about it and moved on because why wouldn't I!

Ah, I'd like to quickly preorder twelve please. I think it's going to just have to be the overwhelming sensation of finally being proven right? 

Well... yeah. Maybe I'll go have a word with her... At least see if I can get here out of the damn Tavern.

They do. Which would be more painful, waiting to find out or doing the form?

You severely underestimate my laziness if you think that thing will get me off my barstool AND walk all the way upstairs :P


Forgetting and moving on are headings in the "Warning: an employee manual", so there's another one for you to read XD

Okay, bing proven right but still being smug about it right? Otherwise what's the point?

In my opinion, the forms are the worst part...

HappyCapybara Wrote: A boy walks in with a small backpack. He has brown hair and a look on his face as if he had just had the worst day of his life. 

Tripping once on a stool, he pats the dust off his clothes as he gets up and sits on a stool at the table where the bartenders at.

He sighs before speaking, "An Olympus Platter, two cups of water, one of your finest alcoholic beverages, and a bowl filled to the brim with popcorn chicken..."

The boy brushes his hand through his hair before finally making eye contact with the bartender for the first time

"Say bartender, got any good stories?" the boy continues, "I've had a rather horrible day and just-" 

He shrugs before finishing what he was saying, "Oh right, this is the first time you've seen my true form... I'm the capybara that had a dragon."

"Hey! You're that capybara with the dragon," the Keeper shouts. "Or did you just say that? I wasn't listening, a bit of a bad habit for manning the bar, but it works for me."

He shifts and the barstool creaks in a suspicious farting sound. "That was the stool!" He claims guiltily.

"Now what was it you wanted? You look terrible, we don't usually offer this, but how about some water?"

nickfeast Wrote:

HappyCapybara Wrote: A boy walks in with a small backpack. He has brown hair and a look on his face as if he had just had the worst day of his life. 

Tripping once on a stool, he pats the dust off his clothes as he gets up and sits on a stool at the table where the bartenders at.

He sighs before speaking, "An Olympus Platter, two cups of water, one of your finest alcoholic beverages, and a bowl filled to the brim with popcorn chicken..."

The boy brushes his hand through his hair before finally making eye contact with the bartender for the first time

"Say bartender, got any good stories?" the boy continues, "I've had a rather horrible day and just-" 

He shrugs before finishing what he was saying, "Oh right, this is the first time you've seen my true form... I'm the capybara that had a dragon."

"Hey! You're that capybara with the dragon," the Keeper shouts. "Or did you just say that? I wasn't listening, a bit of a bad habit for manning the bar, but it works for me."

He shifts and the barstool creaks in a suspicious farting sound. "That was the stool!" He claims guiltily.

"Now what was it you wanted? You look terrible, we don't usually offer this, but how about some water?"

"An Olympus Platter, two cups of water, one of your finest alcoholic beverages, and a bowl filled to the brim with popcorn chicken..." The boy sighs, as he grabs two pouches from his backpack.

He tosses the pouch full of gold towards the bartender before, opening the other pouch. Grabbing a dice out of the pouch the boy looks at it. Runic symbols are encrested upon each side, and each symbol has a different colored glow to it.

Rolling the die, a symbol shines in front of the boy's face as the table turns into pure gold. 

"Sorry,"  he says as he lies his head on the now pure gold table.

nickfeast Wrote: You severely underestimate my laziness if you think that thing will get me off my barstool AND walk all the way upstairs :P


Forgetting and moving on are headings in the "Warning: an employee manual", so there's another one for you to read XD

Okay, bing proven right but still being smug about it right? Otherwise what's the point?

In my opinion, the forms are the worst part...

I didn't think it would work, I just wanted you to know. Plus, I'm pretty sure that Squeaks has knocked through the wall into your bedroom and taken it over too so I guess you'll have to deal with the soul-sucker soon.

I don't want to read that! What if it tells me I'm doing my job wrong?? Don't get me wrong, I already know that I am but if I read that I need to start doing it right! At the moment, I'm just ignorant and untrained but if I read that... I'm wilfully ignorant!! 

Oh yeah, that smugness is the best part!! 

Hmmm I guess. Maybe I could get someone else to do the form for me? I think we need to hire more staff. An assistant would be perfect, then they could do the form and deal with the soul-sucker!

HappyCapybara Wrote:

nickfeast Wrote:

HappyCapybara Wrote: A boy walks in with a small backpack. He has brown hair and a look on his face as if he had just had the worst day of his life. 

Tripping once on a stool, he pats the dust off his clothes as he gets up and sits on a stool at the table where the bartenders at.

He sighs before speaking, "An Olympus Platter, two cups of water, one of your finest alcoholic beverages, and a bowl filled to the brim with popcorn chicken..."

The boy brushes his hand through his hair before finally making eye contact with the bartender for the first time

"Say bartender, got any good stories?" the boy continues, "I've had a rather horrible day and just-" 

He shrugs before finishing what he was saying, "Oh right, this is the first time you've seen my true form... I'm the capybara that had a dragon."

"Hey! You're that capybara with the dragon," the Keeper shouts. "Or did you just say that? I wasn't listening, a bit of a bad habit for manning the bar, but it works for me."

He shifts and the barstool creaks in a suspicious farting sound. "That was the stool!" He claims guiltily.

"Now what was it you wanted? You look terrible, we don't usually offer this, but how about some water?"

"An Olympus Platter, two cups of water, one of your finest alcoholic beverages, and a bowl filled to the brim with popcorn chicken..." The boy sighs, as he grabs two pouches from his backpack.

He tosses the pouch full of gold towards the bartender before, opening the other pouch. Grabbing a dice out of the pouch the boy looks at it. Runic symbols are encrested upon each side, and each symbol has a different colored glow to it.

Rolling the die, a symbol shines in front of the boy's face as the table turns into pure gold. 

"Sorry,"  he says as he lies his head on the now pure gold table.

"A two problems, I have no idea what popcorn chicken is, and you seem to be under the impression that we value gold here."


He puts his hand on the table it and the shine disappears as it turns back to the dull grimy wood underneath the boys head.

"Now, I will eat this pouch of gold that you've offered, it's only polite, but if you want my attention you should have led with a pouch full of souls."

nickfeast Wrote: "Now, I will eat this pouch of gold that you've offered, it's only polite, but if you want my attention you should have led with a pouch full of souls."

"Excuse me, I'll take that gold. Some people still trade in it, even if we don't."

She snatches the sack of the Keep's hand.

"Now, tell me more about this pouch of souls?"

nickfeast Wrote:

HappyCapybara Wrote:

nickfeast Wrote:

HappyCapybara Wrote: A boy walks in with a small backpack. He has brown hair and a look on his face as if he had just had the worst day of his life. 

Tripping once on a stool, he pats the dust off his clothes as he gets up and sits on a stool at the table where the bartenders at.

He sighs before speaking, "An Olympus Platter, two cups of water, one of your finest alcoholic beverages, and a bowl filled to the brim with popcorn chicken..."

The boy brushes his hand through his hair before finally making eye contact with the bartender for the first time

"Say bartender, got any good stories?" the boy continues, "I've had a rather horrible day and just-" 

He shrugs before finishing what he was saying, "Oh right, this is the first time you've seen my true form... I'm the capybara that had a dragon."

"Hey! You're that capybara with the dragon," the Keeper shouts. "Or did you just say that? I wasn't listening, a bit of a bad habit for manning the bar, but it works for me."

He shifts and the barstool creaks in a suspicious farting sound. "That was the stool!" He claims guiltily.

"Now what was it you wanted? You look terrible, we don't usually offer this, but how about some water?"

"An Olympus Platter, two cups of water, one of your finest alcoholic beverages, and a bowl filled to the brim with popcorn chicken..." The boy sighs, as he grabs two pouches from his backpack.

He tosses the pouch full of gold towards the bartender before, opening the other pouch. Grabbing a dice out of the pouch the boy looks at it. Runic symbols are encrested upon each side, and each symbol has a different colored glow to it.

Rolling the die, a symbol shines in front of the boy's face as the table turns into pure gold. 

"Sorry,"  he says as he lies his head on the now pure gold table.

"A two problems, I have no idea what popcorn chicken is, and you seem to be under the impression that we value gold here."


He puts his hand on the table it and the shine disappears as it turns back to the dull grimy wood underneath the boys head.

"Now, I will eat this pouch of gold that you've offered, it's only polite, but if you want my attention you should have led with a pouch full of souls."

"I don't have a pouch, only a chest full..." the boy sighed, "will that work?"

So I just ask you for food, and you'll give it to me? In exchange for useless little metal wafers?

All right - I found a whole mess of them in a cave once. Tired of lugging them around.

I'll need some sumac tea and pemmican - lots of that, because I'm out of firestarter moss, too.

Thank you. Mind the bow, please. And my sasquatch companion. Nothing for him - he mainly eats shoots and leaves. Or eats, shoots, and leaves? Either way, don't bother.

- Thornsong

AlexaLee Wrote:

nickfeast Wrote: You severely underestimate my laziness if you think that thing will get me off my barstool AND walk all the way upstairs :P


Forgetting and moving on are headings in the "Warning: an employee manual", so there's another one for you to read XD

Okay, bing proven right but still being smug about it right? Otherwise what's the point?

In my opinion, the forms are the worst part...

I didn't think it would work, I just wanted you to know. Plus, I'm pretty sure that Squeaks has knocked through the wall into your bedroom and taken it over too so I guess you'll have to deal with the soul-sucker soon.

I don't want to read that! What if it tells me I'm doing my job wrong?? Don't get me wrong, I already know that I am but if I read that I need to start doing it right! At the moment, I'm just ignorant and untrained but if I read that... I'm wilfully ignorant!! 

Oh yeah, that smugness is the best part!! 

Hmmm I guess. Maybe I could get someone else to do the form for me? I think we need to hire more staff. An assistant would be perfect, then they could do the form and deal with the soul-sucker!

Hey! I was going to eat that gold! You ARE trying to starve me!


I have a bedroom? Why have I been sleeping in the supply cupboard? You know someone has put a box full of severed hands in there!

"Willfully ignorant labour" would be a good band name for an indie pop band :P

Okay, but we still need to figure out what's in it? What reeks of smugness?

Now see here, you're supposed to assist me, so if we hire an assistant for you, we can assume they won't do the job either, soon they'll need an assistant, and so on. It won't be long until every person in the multiverse is working for the Tavern, and I'm not going through that mess again!

nickfeast Wrote: Hey! I was going to eat that gold! You ARE trying to starve me!


I have a bedroom? Why have I been sleeping in the supply cupboard? You know someone has put a box full of severed hands in there!

"Willfully ignorant labour" would be a good band name for an indie pop band :P

Okay, but we still need to figure out what's in it? What reeks of smugness?

Now see here, you're supposed to assist me, so if we hire an assistant for you, we can assume they won't do the job either, soon they'll need an assistant, and so on. It won't be long until every person in the multiverse is working for the Tavern, and I'm not going through that mess again!

You can eat something else! That's why we have a kitchen isn't it?? I may have bet someone twenty-seven gold coins that they wouldn't be able to break in somewhere and I really don't want to go to the bank.

Yes! Top floor, next to Squeaks. Or at least, it was. I think it's his room now. Hey! What did you do to my box of severed hands?? They better all still be in there!

Ahaha it would actually!! 

Mmmm I don't know. Very bitter black coffee. Or more so, the people who drink it without adding any sugar or milk and then feel the need to tell everyone in the vicinity that they don't actually like to add anything to it because it masks the natural flavour despite how much they wince whilst they do it. Hmm can we get the essence of smugness from them? And maybe some self righteousness too? 

Huh. That felt like it came from somewhere subconscious. Wonder why that made me so angry? 

Just one more person! We can keep them in check!! 

HappyCapybara Wrote:

nickfeast Wrote:

HappyCapybary Wrote: "An Olympus Platter, two cups of water, one of your finest alcoholic beverages, and a bowl filled to the brim with popcorn chicken..." The boy sighs, as he grabs two pouches from his backpack.

He tosses the pouch full of gold towards the bartender before, opening the other pouch. Grabbing a dice out of the pouch the boy looks at it. Runic symbols are encrested upon each side, and each symbol has a different colored glow to it.

Rolling the die, a symbol shines in front of the boy's face as the table turns into pure gold. 

"Sorry,"  he says as he lies his head on the now pure gold table.

"A two problems, I have no idea what popcorn chicken is, and you seem to be under the impression that we value gold here."


He puts his hand on the table it and the shine disappears as it turns back to the dull grimy wood underneath the boys head.

"Now, I will eat this pouch of gold that you've offered, it's only polite, but if you want my attention you should have led with a pouch full of souls."

"I don't have a pouch, only a chest full..." the boy sighed, "will that work?"

"Done!" The Keeper tries to look cool as he wipes drool of his chins. "Gonna need an Olympus Platter, two cups of water, and a mind bomb out here!" He yells at the kitchen, and something growls in response.


"Now, we're still going to need you to answer some questions about this 'popcorn chicken', first what's popcorn, second what's chicken, third is the recipe in any way evil?"

nickfeast Wrote:

HappyCapybara Wrote:

nickfeast Wrote:

HappyCapybary Wrote: "An Olympus Platter, two cups of water, one of your finest alcoholic beverages, and a bowl filled to the brim with popcorn chicken..." The boy sighs, as he grabs two pouches from his backpack.

He tosses the pouch full of gold towards the bartender before, opening the other pouch. Grabbing a dice out of the pouch the boy looks at it. Runic symbols are encrested upon each side, and each symbol has a different colored glow to it.

Rolling the die, a symbol shines in front of the boy's face as the table turns into pure gold. 

"Sorry,"  he says as he lies his head on the now pure gold table.

"A two problems, I have no idea what popcorn chicken is, and you seem to be under the impression that we value gold here."


He puts his hand on the table it and the shine disappears as it turns back to the dull grimy wood underneath the boys head.

"Now, I will eat this pouch of gold that you've offered, it's only polite, but if you want my attention you should have led with a pouch full of souls."

"I don't have a pouch, only a chest full..." the boy sighed, "will that work?"

"Done!" The Keeper tries to look cool as he wipes drool of his chins. "Gonna need an Olympus Platter, two cups of water, and a mind bomb out here!" He yells at the kitchen, and something growls in response.


"Now, we're still going to need you to answer some questions about this 'popcorn chicken', first what's popcorn, second what's chicken, third is the recipe in any way evil?"

The boy gets up before jumping over the table and walking into the kitchen. He shortly after walks out with popcorn chicken he's eating.

Bartender...give me the sexist drink you got, and make sure it's the heavy stuff.

Thornsong Wrote: So I just ask you for food, and you'll give it to me? In exchange for useless little metal wafers?

All right - I found a whole mess of them in a cave once. Tired of lugging them around.

I'll need some sumac tea and pemmican - lots of that, because I'm out of firestarter moss, too.

Thank you. Mind the bow, please. And my sasquatch companion. Nothing for him - he mainly eats shoots and leaves. Or eats, shoots, and leaves? Either way, don't bother.

Well, we work on a sliding payment plan here at the Tavern, if you have a chest filled with should we'll take that, or if you're rich we'll take a universe or two, or we can take some metals, in some cases we give it out for free. But if you're looking to get rid of some trash, we'd prefer if you do it outside.


We have nine-tailed fox green tea, if that's okay? Not sure about this pemmican... but I can introduce you to a handy little device called matches, it'll blow your mind!

Can I rub his belly? Or is he like an emotional support sasquatch? Or maybe you're his service animal? ;)

Gimme all you got or I'll vaporize your little tavern.

AlexaLee Wrote:

nickfeast Wrote: Hey! I was going to eat that gold! You ARE trying to starve me!


I have a bedroom? Why have I been sleeping in the supply cupboard? You know someone has put a box full of severed hands in there!

"Willfully ignorant labour" would be a good band name for an indie pop band :P

Okay, but we still need to figure out what's in it? What reeks of smugness?

Now see here, you're supposed to assist me, so if we hire an assistant for you, we can assume they won't do the job either, soon they'll need an assistant, and so on. It won't be long until every person in the multiverse is working for the Tavern, and I'm not going through that mess again!

You can eat something else! That's why we have a kitchen isn't it?? I may have bet someone twenty-seven gold coins that they wouldn't be able to break in somewhere and I really don't want to go to the bank.

Yes! Top floor, next to Squeaks. Or at least, it was. I think it's his room now. Hey! What did you do to my box of severed hands?? They better all still be in there!

Ahaha it would actually!! 

Mmmm I don't know. Very bitter black coffee. Or more so, the people who drink it without adding any sugar or milk and then feel the need to tell everyone in the vicinity that they don't actually like to add anything to it because it masks the natural flavour despite how much they wince whilst they do it. Hmm can we get the essence of smugness from them? And maybe some self righteousness too? 

Huh. That felt like it came from somewhere subconscious. Wonder why that made me so angry? 

Just one more person! We can keep them in check!!

But I wanted to eat those gold coins! I'll forgive you if you told me who you bet, and how badly you lost :P


Squeaks can have it, as long as he doesn't neglect his furnace duties in the basement. I'm comfy in the supply closet anyways, some of the hands might be a bit nibbled, I get hungry at night, sue me!

Not sure what your beef with coffee drinkers is, but the idea of people who always feel the need to tell people that their 'special' for eating or drinking or eating something is definitely one of the ingredients. Now what would we call that in three words or less?

No, that's how it starts, 'just one more person' they say, 'it'll be fine' they say, 'we can keep them in check' they say, and then before you know it I'm stuck doing a manual reboot of the multiverse. XD