Re: Help with description for review?

#1
Heyo. I'll keep this short and sweet.
I need help with my book description that I haven't released but heavily planned to. It's not a fanfiction but it has the main theme of the game 'Graveyard Keeper' 

Here it is:

“I don't understand…” Ren stuttered, glancing down at his translucent hands, “where am I?”
  “Yes, yes, you’re confused. But as you can see, my boy, we don't have time for that. Go grab that shovel and get digging; this body won't bury itself.”
He glanced down at the corpse. The figure of a seemingly dead man, his eyes clawed out, his jaw lolling within the broken skull. It smelled of wretchedness.
“Am I dead?” he asked, perplexed.
  “Sadly so, sorry about that.”
He looked back to the talking skull, his only instructor since he got to this terrible, ghastly land.
  “...are you dead?”
The skeleton head seemed to glare back at him sadly, its sockets hardened and cracked by the edges, as if death was ancient and life but another yearn.
They waited so, for a long moment, before the head spoke again.
“Well, I am a skull, of course I'm fucking dead. Now get that shovel before the body starts moving again.”


Ren had been living in the twenty-first century, with electronic devices and air conditioning, what more could a boy ask for? But through unknown circumstances, he died, and now he’s here, trapped in some mystical village with talking skulls and terrifying creatures. But his identity must remain unknown, and under the pressure, he has befallen the duty of ‘Graveyard Keeper’, whatever that is. But being ‘Graveyard Keeper’ is a much bigger job than he thought, and as time passes, the questions only grow larger, more grim to a morbid understanding,
Because how exactly did Ren die?
Who was the talking skull before death took its life?
And what would happen if the townspeople ever found out his true identity?


I'll exchange a review or comment to anyone who can help me with this. It's not that much but I feel like people here don't spend too much time reading a long blurb. Thanks in advance!

Re: Help with description for review?

#2

AbsoluteEdgelord Wrote: “I don't understand…” Ren stuttered, glancing down at his translucent hands, “where am I?”
  “Yes, yes, you’re confused. But as you can see, my boy, we don't have time for that. Go grab that shovel and get digging; this body won't bury itself.”
He glanced down at the corpse. The figure of a seemingly dead man, his eyes clawed out, his jaw lolling within the broken skull. It smelled of wretchedness.
“Am I dead?” he asked, perplexed.
  “Sadly so, sorry about that.”
He looked back to the talking skull, his only instructor since he got to this terrible, ghastly land.
  “...are you dead?”
The skeleton head seemed to glare back at him sadly, its sockets hardened and cracked by the edges, as if death was ancient and life but another yearn.
They waited so, for a long moment, before the head spoke again.
“Well, I am a skull, of course I'm fucking dead. Now get that shovel before the body starts moving again.”


Ren had been living in the twenty-first century, with electronic devices and air conditioning, what more could a boy ask for? But through unknown circumstances, he died, and now he’s here, trapped in some mystical village with talking skulls and terrifying creatures. But his identity must remain unknown, and under the pressure, he has befallen the duty of ‘Graveyard Keeper’, whatever that is. But being ‘Graveyard Keeper’ is a much bigger job than he thought, and as time passes, the questions only grow larger, more grim to a morbid understanding,
Because how exactly did Ren die?
Who was the talking skull before death took its life?
And what would happen if the townspeople ever found out his true identity?

A bit of a shortened and modified version. The original had a bit too much unnecessary information and was too long to read as a blurb. DrakanBook DrakanFix


Ren was living a peaceful and content life in the 21st century until one day... he suddenly passed away!

“Am I dead?” he asked, perplexed.
 “Sadly so, sorry about that.”
 “...are you dead?”
“Well, I am a skull, of course I'm fucking dead. Now get that shovel before the body starts moving again.”


Brought to a strange, mystical village with talking skulls and terrifying creatures Ren needs to hide his true identity and is forced to assumes the role of ‘Graveyard Keeper’. But this is easier said than done. As time passes, the questions only grow larger and more grim.
How exactly did he die?
Who was the talking skull he met before his passing?
And what would happen if the townspeople ever found out his true identity?