Re: Am I That Bad? (Help for a new RR writer)

#1
I've been on Royal Road for almost a week now, but barely got 64 views (don't know if my own views count, if someone can answer...), 2 followers and no ratings (first story). Am I doing something wrong? It's my writing just too bad to catch any attention? Or am I missing something else?

Also, this might be a good chance for everyone to help new writers improve their promotion skills, or maybe give some good advice on how to grow a fanbase. I've been writing for several years now in different websites like Wattpad and other Spanish communities, but I'm more excited than ever in Royal Road... That's why I want to success.

Re: Am I That Bad? (Help for a new RR writer)

#2
No, it's alright. I read/skimmed through most of the first 3 chapters. It doesn't suck, but not that amazing either, for now. Pretty average

One big thing is to decide: do you want 1st POV, or 3rd POV? Because you're mixing them. That's a huge no-no. You can't say "I walked into the room and stabbed him.", and then in the next sentence, say "Noir walked out of the room, leaving the man bleeding to death.", it's really jarring. 

Another hint may be to ease all the new characters in a bit more slowly. You have like 5 new names at once, in the "guild teammates" when they're going to do that mission/assassination/whatever. Looks a bit hard to follow. And in the first chapter, I would appreciate more stuff happening, instead of just seeing the thoughts in the main character's head, or being told about some history, etc. It wasn't very exciting.

Also, 100% cut the character-appearance paragraphs at the bottom of chapters, it just doesn't work. Most of the information there is irrelevant, and that which is important we needed to know BEFORE, not AFTER reading the chapter. Squeeze it in, somewhere. (But succinctly)

Final piece of advice is to work on your blurb. "Our main character, a hero, hunted by his past, present, and the future...", I don't think that sounds appealing. If anything, it sounds a bit cliched. Not very attractive or compelling; at least your cover is good. (But it looks like the story will be demonic/satanic, not sure if that's what you were going for)

And yeah, if you're happy with what you write, screw the numbers and the statistics. Most fictions are forever stuck at low numbers. It's just reality. And that may not even be such a bad thing; big reader-bases can get toxic and hard to deal with. (You also don't have the "LitRPG/isekai/xianxia" cheat, which is an automatic x50 multiplier to the views). But as long as you keep posting, readers will come. 5 days is a really, really low amount of time. The more chapters you have, the more attractive it may be to click on "Chapter 1". I had similar numbers, at chapter 5 in my story. And I don't think it sucked! :)

Good luck (and to be honest I'm a bit tired of seeing these threads. Everybody is crying about low reader counts all the time -_- Just deal with it, it's normal)

If you really want to scrounge up every single possible read you could get, you could use these forums to advertise, either in the "Promote your fiction" threads, or by putting the story in your signature, and posting in any subforums. This could net you around 5 followers, over some period of time? A bit more reads? But probably not much more than that 

Re: Am I That Bad? (Help for a new RR writer)

#3

Ararara Wrote: No, it's alright. I read/skimmed through most of the first 3 chapters. It doesn't suck, but not that amazing either, for now. Pretty average

One big thing is to decide: do you want 1st POV, or 3rd POV? Because you're mixing them. That's a huge no-no. You can't say "I walked into the room and stabbed him.", and then in the next sentence, say "Noir walked out of the room, leaving the man bleeding to death.", it's really jarring. 

Another hint may be to ease all the new characters in a bit more slowly. You have like 5 new names at once, in the "guild teammates" when they're going to do that mission/assassination/whatever. Looks a bit hard to follow. And in the first chapter, I would appreciate more stuff happening, instead of just seeing the thoughts in the main character's head, or being told about some history, etc. It wasn't very exciting.

Also, 100% cut the character-appearance paragraphs at the bottom of chapters, it just doesn't work. Most of the information there is irrelevant, and that which is important we needed to know BEFORE, not AFTER reading the chapter. Squeeze it in, somewhere. (But succinctly)

Final piece of advice is to work on your blurb. "Our main character, a hero, hunted by his past, present, and the future...", I don't think that sounds appealing. If anything, it sounds a bit cliched. Not very attractive or compelling; at least your cover is good. (But it looks like the story will be demonic/satanic, not sure if that's what you were going for)

And yeah, if you're happy with what you write, screw the numbers and the statistics. Most fictions are forever stuck at low numbers. It's just reality. And that may not even be such a bad thing; big reader-bases can get toxic and hard to deal with. (You also don't have the "LitRPG/isekai/xianxia" cheat, which is an automatic x50 multiplier to the views). But as long as you keep posting, readers will come. 5 days is a really, really low amount of time. The more chapters you have, the more attractive it may be to click on "Chapter 1". I had similar numbers, at chapter 5 in my story. And I don't think it sucked! :)

Good luck (and to be honest I'm a bit tired of seeing these threads. Everybody is crying about low reader counts all the time -_- Just deal with it, it's normal)

If you really want to scrounge up every single possible read you could get, you could use these forums to advertise, either in the "Promote your fiction" threads, or by putting the story in your signature, and posting in any subforums. This could net you around 5 followers, over some period of time? A bit more reads? But probably not much more than that



Thanks for the reply!

You're right, I may be mixing the points of view way too much. My main purpose with that is to show the MC's perspective, but yeah, it's messy sometimes (But I think it's not that bad of an idea if done correctly). Good thing this almost disappears throughout the chapters (now I'm on 104).

Talking about the characters and story... I'm in a conflict with this. I read some time ago readers in this site like things to start fast, and go for the fights and that sort of things. I tried to balance these two ideas, introducing new characters and situations for the sake of the readers, but trying to develop the story more calmly (I see it doesn't work). But believe me, there's a lot going on in the first chapter. Lots of mysteries, and things that are not what they seem to be. Even the first sentence implies something that'll happen in the future. But yeah, I understand what you mean.

I introduced the little paragraphs just because of the opposite idea XD. Didn't know how to put it all in the story without making it unnatural, so I decided to leave it for the end of each chapter, which seemed to be a better idea (Not really?). Some things are actually important, such as the origins, because of the holy war we're talked about a bit in the first chapter.

Yeah, the synopsis is very cliche. In my defence, I don't want people to see Noir as a hero, 'cause he's not. It's more of a story about the downfall of a man, rather than the rise of a hero. The dark tone of the cover is correct, it is and will be an even more dark tragedy. I'll change some parts of it anyways.

I've got used to being ignored for three years now, so that's not a big deal (I'm not crying lol). I would like my stories to be seen by a lot of people, just for them to know how much I love what I do. And, um... I hate advertising XD. I feel it like spam, simple as that. Thanks for the advice, though. I'll continue uploading, I promise. I won't go hiatus like it's common here.

Re: Am I That Bad? (Help for a new RR writer)

#4

Madin Wrote: I've been on Royal Road for almost a week now, but barely got 64 views (don't know if my own views count, if someone can answer...), 2 followers and no ratings (first story). Am I doing something wrong? It's my writing just too bad to catch any attention? Or am I missing something else?

Also, this might be a good chance for everyone to help new writers improve their promotion skills, or maybe give some good advice on how to grow a fanbase. I've been writing for several years now in different websites like Wattpad and other Spanish communities, but I'm more excited than ever in Royal Road... That's why I want to success.

I read through it and left a comment. Your writing is not bad in any way (trust me I've seen some things on Wattpad. I'm traumatized haha). But I recommend reading some guides here on RR forums. There are amazing resources for writers to find success here. I'll link you to a guide that I think may be helpful to you: https://www.royalroad.com/forums/thread/103055


I really hope you find an audience for your story. It's such a rewarding thing for an author to find people who like your story. Goodluck! peoYes

Re: Am I That Bad? (Help for a new RR writer)

#5
Madin Wrote: You're right, I may be mixing the points of view way too much. My main purpose with that is to show the MC's perspective, but yeah, it's messy sometimes (But I think it's not that bad of an idea if done correctly).

You can do 1st person and 3rd person in the same story, but not in the same paragraph. Sometimes a single character will have a section from their perspective in 3rd or 1st person. An example I can think of offhand is Virtuous Sons: the perspective is usually 1st person from the MC, but occasionally there will be 3rd person interludes from the perspectives of side characters. (I also do this in my story, in the signature.) But the switch between 1st person MC point of view and 3rd person supporting cast point of view is clearly delimited; it shouldn't feel messy, or like a mistake.

In your first chapter:
Quote:The hustle from outside seeps through my thin walls, letting me hear an annoying orchestra of horses, peddlers, hoodlums and all the bad weed the slums harvest. I wake up here for another day, in the same bed and with the same duty to fulfill. My routine consists of the same long and heavy travels, that causes me to arrive exhausted at the end of the day. But what can I say? That's how it is.
"Another day I can't sleep well... What time is it?" Noir gazes with heavy eyes at the wall clock in front of him, which hands mark exactly the noon. "Still twelve o'clock... Wait, twelve o'clock? I'm going to be late, damn it! If I screw up again, they'll throw me out for sure!"
I started to get dressed with nervousness making me commit silly mistakes when I only had to change my clothes. Since I only had a few minutes to get ready, I put my toothbrush in my mouth while I combed my hair and washed my face. Every second was vital to be on time, so I hurried out with the cup of coffee in my hand and the piece of toast still in my mouth.  

Not only do you switch point of view (1st to 3rd and back to 1st) but you also switch tense: "the hustle from outside seeps" "Noir gazes" "I started to get dressed" --> 1st present, 3rd present, 1st past. It's jarring.

Glad to hear your later chapters may avoid these issue but it could definitely turn readers off from earlier chapters. There are countless other stories by authors who don't make such mistakes and who are probably more experienced (and consequently better) writers that I could pick up to read instead.

Also, finally, a big red flag for me is that you aren't following anyone on the site, nor have you written any reviews. Not all successful authors have good community engagement, but many do. It's good to read and follow other authors' stories, comment on stories, and leave reviews. That's actually a great way to get people to see your fiction. I get several new referrals to my fiction page every day because of reputation alone (i.e. I gave a Royal Road user reputation on one of their comments, and when people go to look at their reputation page, they can see my name and what I upvoted; you would be extremely surprised by how many people find me that way!)

Re: Am I That Bad? (Help for a new RR writer)

#6

AeroKaia Wrote:
Madin Wrote: I've been on Royal Road for almost a week now, but barely got 64 views (don't know if my own views count, if someone can answer...), 2 followers and no ratings (first story). Am I doing something wrong? It's my writing just too bad to catch any attention? Or am I missing something else?

Also, this might be a good chance for everyone to help new writers improve their promotion skills, or maybe give some good advice on how to grow a fanbase. I've been writing for several years now in different websites like Wattpad and other Spanish communities, but I'm more excited than ever in Royal Road... That's why I want to success.

I read through it and left a comment. Your writing is not bad in any way (trust me I've seen some things on Wattpad. I'm traumatized haha). But I recommend reading some guides here on RR forums. There are amazing resources for writers to find success here. I'll link you to a guide that I think may be helpful to you: https://www.royalroad.com/forums/thread/103055


I really hope you find an audience for your story. It's such a rewarding thing for an author to find people who like your story. Goodluck! peoYes



Thank you very much!

Could you tell me what flaws have you seen? Just to give me an idea :) Oh, and thanks for the link!

Re: Am I That Bad? (Help for a new RR writer)

#7
a post you can check about the 'first chapter'

How to open a webnovel

there is a difference between 'starting fast' and starting interesting. The first chapter needs to grab attention and while it's true that a fight is the easiest way to do so, it is not the only. Arguably the strongest motivator to keep on reading is curiosity. Actually, even the fight scene isn't as important as creating the wish in your reader to find out who, what, why or where. Who are those people fighting? Why are they fighting? What are they fighting for/over? And, in case they're in some strange place, where are they fighting?

I think it was in a masterclass preview from a famous writer where he said something which stuck with me (paraphrasing): You want to raise questions. You don't answer those questions, no, you, as a writer, make a promise to your reader. Just keep on reading, and you'll get the answers. 

Re: Am I That Bad? (Help for a new RR writer)

#8

caerulex Wrote:
Madin Wrote: You're right, I may be mixing the points of view way too much. My main purpose with that is to show the MC's perspective, but yeah, it's messy sometimes (But I think it's not that bad of an idea if done correctly).

You can do 1st person and 3rd person in the same story, but not in the same paragraph. Sometimes a single character will have a section from their perspective in 3rd or 1st person. An example I can think of offhand is Virtuous Sons: the perspective is usually 1st person from the MC, but occasionally there will be 3rd person interludes from the perspectives of side characters. (I also do this in my story, in the signature.) But the switch between 1st person MC point of view and 3rd person supporting cast point of view is clearly delimited; it shouldn't feel messy, or like a mistake.

In your first chapter:
Quote:The hustle from outside seeps through my thin walls, letting me hear an annoying orchestra of horses, peddlers, hoodlums and all the bad weed the slums harvest. I wake up here for another day, in the same bed and with the same duty to fulfill. My routine consists of the same long and heavy travels, that causes me to arrive exhausted at the end of the day. But what can I say? That's how it is.
"Another day I can't sleep well... What time is it?" Noir gazes with heavy eyes at the wall clock in front of him, which hands mark exactly the noon. "Still twelve o'clock... Wait, twelve o'clock? I'm going to be late, damn it! If I screw up again, they'll throw me out for sure!"
I started to get dressed with nervousness making me commit silly mistakes when I only had to change my clothes. Since I only had a few minutes to get ready, I put my toothbrush in my mouth while I combed my hair and washed my face. Every second was vital to be on time, so I hurried out with the cup of coffee in my hand and the piece of toast still in my mouth.  

Not only do you switch point of view (1st to 3rd and back to 1st) but you also switch tense: "the hustle from outside seeps" "Noir gazes" "I started to get dressed" --> 1st present, 3rd present, 1st past. It's jarring.

Glad to hear your later chapters may avoid these issue but it could definitely turn readers off from earlier chapters. There are countless other stories by authors who don't make such mistakes and who are probably more experienced (and consequently better) writers that I could pick up to read instead.

Also, finally, a big red flag for me is that you aren't following anyone on the site, nor have you written any reviews. Not all successful authors have good community engagement, but many do. It's good to read and follow other authors' stories, comment on stories, and leave reviews. That's actually a great way to get people to see your fiction. I get several new referrals to my fiction page every day because of reputation alone (i.e. I gave a Royal Road user reputation on one of their comments, and when people go to look at their reputation page, they can see my name and what I upvoted; you would be extremely surprised by how many people find me that way!)



Hi!

Yeah, you're absolutely right. I had a hard time with tenses. I'm not a native speaker, so it's a lot harder for me... anyway, thanks for the advice. I'll start to read other people and leave reviews.

Re: Am I That Bad? (Help for a new RR writer)

#9

Oskatat Wrote: a post you can check about the 'first chapter'

How to open a webnovel

there is a difference between 'starting fast' and starting interesting. The first chapter needs to grab attention and while it's true that a fight is the easiest way to do so, it is not the only. Arguably the strongest motivator to keep on reading is curiosity. Actually, even the fight scene isn't as important as creating the wish in your reader to find out who, what, why or where. Who are those people fighting? Why are they fighting? What are they fighting for/over? And, in case they're in some strange place, where are they fighting?

I think it was in a masterclass preview from a famous writer where he said something which stuck with me (paraphrasing): You want to raise questions. You don't answer those questions, no, you, as a writer, make a promise to your reader. Just keep on reading, and you'll get the answers.



Hello!

Thanks for the link, I'll give it a look later. But, what do you mean by creating wish? Should I write a fight first to catch readers attention? Well, in my opinion, that's not a good idea. If I introduce one of the final fights, for example, everything before will likely lose weight. You wouldn't have to worry if you know a character will not die until that moment (it's something Boruto have done, to give an example). In the other hand, I can't put any fights that occur before the beginning of the story, 'cause there are not. So... any solutions? XD

Well, I'll regret saying this so soon, but the first paragraphs (excluding Castiel speech) are not the beginning. Those are the last entries from Noir's journal, actually. Is that interesting enough?

Re: Am I That Bad? (Help for a new RR writer)

#11

FAHyatt Wrote: So, you just started writing , and you have been a member for a whole week.  Perhaps give yourself a bit more time.



Yeah, I will. But I didn't start writing now, I've been doing it for a few years. Problem is, there's not a lot of Spanish users interested in this kind of genres. Instead, I decided to move to English websites, just to see if I would get more views. Looking forward to it!

Re: Am I That Bad? (Help for a new RR writer)

#13
Others have already given several good pieces of advice. So I'll talk you about the stats side of things.

Comments.
Unless there is something quite compelling happening in the chapter, most readers won't comment. You can expect about 1% of your readers to comment. Yes, one. 

Ratings.
And as far as ratings are concerned, only about 5~10% would rate the novel, at least in the initial days. As your story grows over time, the ratings would increase but you would have to remind your readers regularly for it. They won't rate and review unless they absolutely love or hate the novel.
Also, while I am talking about ratings, be prepared to receive a 0.5-star rating out of the blue for absolutely no reason. It is almost a ceremony.

Readers.
Now, a novel takes time. Comments start coming organically after 10-12 chapters. Unless, of course, the beginning is quite good and forces the reader to comment.
Lastly, don't worry about the number of readers until your novel crosses at least 100-150 pages. As a new novel, most readers won't begin reading until the novel crosses those numbers. They want to know that you won't abandon the novel in the middle and that you have something planned for it. You can't write nonsense for 100 pages straight. [You could, but don't. XD]
I, personally, wait till 200 pages.

Promotion.
The best promotion possible on RR is forums. Come up with a nice signature and use it every time you post here. It will help quite a bit.

Lastly, don't worry about the stats that much. Your novel will naturally attract readers as it grows. 
All the best!

Re: Am I That Bad? (Help for a new RR writer)

#14

Ararara Wrote: Good luck (and to be honest I'm a bit tired of seeing these threads. Everybody is crying about low reader counts all the time -_- Just deal with it, it's normal)

I've only been here six months, and I've seen so many like this that I've been thinking about collecting a standard advice thread so everyone can get links without going though this over and over. 

Re: Am I That Bad? (Help for a new RR writer)

#15

Madin Wrote: Yeah, you're absolutely right. I had a hard time with tenses. I'm not a native speaker, so it's a lot harder for me... anyway, thanks for the advice. I'll start to read other people and leave reviews.

Understandable! Might help to find a buddy and proofread each other's stuff before you post, someone who's also on RR with a newer story :). If it's any solace, many stories with far worse grammar etc have made it big on the site, so don't be discouraged. You're going to be at a disadvantage because of it, but one of the best things you can do is just post consistently and often. There are a great many folks on this site who quick and steady updates far above flawless style/grammar. If you have a huge backlog (and it sounds like you do) I think you'll be able to gain traction just by posting chapters consistently, ideally 5x/week in the beginning (the first month).

I revisited the issue of switching from 1st to 3rd person. Most of the time you're consistent, except for that section around the switch marked by the journal entry. I re-read the chapter again and I believe you fixed the issue already, so A+ (some writers get critical feedback like this, shrug, and don't change it, saying it doesn't matter). You also clearly recognized the problems and were able to self-proofread, which is awesome (people are often blind to how to fix their stuff). If you proofread thoroughly before posting each chapter on RR, I think you'll be in a really great place.

And in general, these tense/pov mistakes happen; my main point before was that if they happen in the 1st chapter, which should be your most polished chapter in my opinion (as it's the chapter everyone will read), people might be turned off. If the first time I saw this issue was on chapter 5, I would find it jarring but largely ignore it, if that makes sense.

One other piece of advice: I would recommend maybe putting the transition text in bold, perhaps putting a horizontal rule before it. Something to make it more obvious there's going to be a shift in place and time.

Best of luck!

Re: Am I That Bad? (Help for a new RR writer)

#16

Ankur_93 Wrote: Others have already given several good pieces of advice. So I'll talk you about the stats side of things.

Comments.
Unless there is something quite compelling happening in the chapter, most readers won't comment. You can expect about 1% of your readers to comment. Yes, one. 

Ratings.
And as far as ratings are concerned, only about 5~10% would rate the novel, at least in the initial days. As your story grows over time, the ratings would increase but you would have to remind your readers regularly for it. They won't rate and review unless they absolutely love or hate the novel.
Also, while I am talking about ratings, be prepared to receive a 0.5-star rating out of the blue for absolutely no reason. It is almost a ceremony.

Readers.
Now, a novel takes time. Comments start coming organically after 10-12 chapters. Unless, of course, the beginning is quite good and forces the reader to comment.
Lastly, don't worry about the number of readers until your novel crosses at least 100-150 pages. As a new novel, most readers won't begin reading until the novel crosses those numbers. They want to know that you won't abandon the novel in the middle and that you have something planned for it. You can't write nonsense for 100 pages straight. [You could, but don't. XD]
I, personally, wait till 200 pages.

Promotion.
The best promotion possible on RR is forums. Come up with a nice signature and use it every time you post here. It will help quite a bit.

Lastly, don't worry about the stats that much. Your novel will naturally attract readers as it grows. 
All the best!



Thanks for the advice, my dear friend! It's really useful!

But damn... some of these data are really depressing XD. I can see that 0.5 rating star coming, haha. Good thing I have 104 chapters already written, which would be like... 500+ pages? I don't know.

Re: Am I That Bad? (Help for a new RR writer)

#17

caerulex Wrote:
Madin Wrote: Yeah, you're absolutely right. I had a hard time with tenses. I'm not a native speaker, so it's a lot harder for me... anyway, thanks for the advice. I'll start to read other people and leave reviews.

Understandable! Might help to find a buddy and proofread each other's stuff before you post, someone who's also on RR with a newer story :). If it's any solace, many stories with far worse grammar etc have made it big on the site, so don't be discouraged. You're going to be at a disadvantage because of it, but one of the best things you can do is just post consistently and often. There are a great many folks on this site who quick and steady updates far above flawless style/grammar. If you have a huge backlog (and it sounds like you do) I think you'll be able to gain traction just by posting chapters consistently, ideally 5x/week in the beginning (the first month).

I revisited the issue of switching from 1st to 3rd person. Most of the time you're consistent, except for that section around the switch marked by the journal entry. I re-read the chapter again and I believe you fixed the issue already, so A+ (some writers get critical feedback like this, shrug, and don't change it, saying it doesn't matter). You also clearly recognized the problems and were able to self-proofread, which is awesome (people are often blind to how to fix their stuff). If you proofread thoroughly before posting each chapter on RR, I think you'll be in a really great place.

And in general, these tense/pov mistakes happen; my main point before was that if they happen in the 1st chapter, which should be your most polished chapter in my opinion (as it's the chapter everyone will read), people might be turned off. If the first time I saw this issue was on chapter 5, I would find it jarring but largely ignore it, if that makes sense.

One other piece of advice: I would recommend maybe putting the transition text in bold, perhaps putting a horizontal rule before it. Something to make it more obvious there's going to be a shift in place and time.

Best of luck!



Thanks again my friend! You really made my day!

I'll take into account what you said about the transitions. I appreciate all the feedback you guys have been giving me. Of course I would listen to any advice, even more knowing you have much more experience than me. 

See you soon!

Re: Am I That Bad? (Help for a new RR writer)

#18
Looking at your view count, I don't think it's a problem of bad writing.  Your synopsis is extremely generic and RR is largely a place for people to escape generic tropes that television is obsessed with.  

Just look at the best rated list.  First place is about a time loop, Second place is about a magical chicken. Third place is about an intelligent government created bio-weapon becoming a super minion.

Your synopsis is slightly awkward.  But I don't think that's the problem.  People are reading it and thinking "this is a list of generic tropes".  

"Heaven N Hell", "The Holy Sword", "Person tormented by their past", "Uncover lost truths about the ancient past".

Just reading the title kills my interest dead.  

Re: Am I That Bad? (Help for a new RR writer)

#19

DarkD Wrote: Looking at your view count, I don't think it's a problem of bad writing.  Your synopsis is extremely generic and RR is largely a place for people to escape generic tropes that television is obsessed with.  

Just look at the best rated list.  First place is about a time loop, Second place is about a magical chicken. Third place is about an intelligent government created bio-weapon becoming a super minion.

Your synopsis is slightly awkward.  But I don't think that's the problem.  People are reading it and thinking "this is a list of generic tropes".  

"Heaven N Hell", "The Holy Sword", "Person tormented by their past", "Uncover lost truths about the ancient past".

Just reading the title kills my interest dead.



Well, thanks for your kindness...

I know, I know. Mother of Learning, Beware of Chicken, etc... they are all successful 'cause they are original and creative and whatever. What are you suggesting then? To change everything I've done so far just to desperately avoid cliches? I don't agree, sorry. I think some unoriginal concepts can give birth even to interesting and innovative stories.

Anyways, I'm going to change the synopsis, but not the title. Thanks for the advice. And sorry for not creating magic chickens.

Re: Am I That Bad? (Help for a new RR writer)

#20

Madin Wrote: Well, thanks for your kindness...

I know, I know. Mother of Learning, Beware of Chicken, etc... they are all successful 'cause they are original and creative and whatever. What are you suggesting then? To change everything I've done so far just to desperately avoid cliches? I don't agree, sorry. I think some unoriginal concepts can give birth even to interesting and innovative stories.

Anyways, I'm going to change the synopsis, but not the title. Thanks for the advice. And sorry for not creating magic chickens.

Nobody said you should change the story. Just word the synopsis differently! It's your #1 tool to hook readers and make them think "Woah, that sounds sick! I want to read this NOW!" 

If it's something that makes people think "I think I've seen something like this before, I'm tired of it", it's a huge problem. 

Cheers :)