Re: 1 star, .5 star , I don't care but be honest.

#1
I have decided that I want to really improve my writing so I am asking to swap reviews with people who are looking for their story to be critically reviewed. I will be posting on all of your chapters about what I liked and didn't like. What I guess will happen and what surprised me. After I have read the entirety of your story, I will then leave you a review with my honest opinion, with an honest rating and comments for future readers.

If this sounds like something you are interested in then let me know. It will be a first come first serve. I will try to do 3 stories at the same time but if I can't I'll go in order. I will have a list below of the stories that I'm doing, current progress, and ones waiting in the queue. As a bonus, if I like your story, I'll try to do some fan art of it.

PS I'm a crappy artist. Also, I am willing to edit my reviews if you change your story and want me to read over it again.


Urban Wolf: Completed! Score 3.5
Re:Mento Mori: Beginning within 24 hours (Sorry, I've been busy)  0/50 = 0%
Sim Path: 5/11 = 45%
Monillas: Beginning within a week  0/39 = 0%

Re: 1 star, .5 star , I don't care but be honest.

#2
If you haven't yet, I'd reccomend a few rounds of critique first, which can be carried out in the comment area of the text reader.
New feature Note:

If you are one of those authors who just love getting grammatical and typo corrections from their readers, this one is for you! You can enable Reader Suggestions in the Settings -> Edit menu on the very bottom:
https%3A%2F%2Fwww.royalroadcdn.com%2Fpublic%2Fblog...stions.png
Once you enable this, readers can highlight any text in your fiction's chapters for quick corrections:
https%3A%2F%2Fwww.royalroadcdn.com%2Fpublic%2Fblog...stions.png
They can quickly type in their edits*, which is then added to their comment box. This should make it a lot faster and straightforward to send corrections. The feature is on a toggle so if you don't care for it or find these corrections bothersome, you can simply leave it off or disable later on.
(*Suggestions)

This will be far more helpful to you, you will learn more through this swapping process, and once a couple rounds of it have been completed (I recommend instituting any changes you decide to make between rounds, so that the process cleans the MS progressively) then ask for review, which can act as a beta opinion on the end result. You will likely end with better review scores as a bonus.

Re: 1 star, .5 star , I don't care but be honest.

#4
The new feature is actually revolutionary for Royal Road, as it provides an actual facility for marking up manuscripts, which is central to the process of critique, as people can note and highlight specific targets as they process through the document. It provides the equivalent ability double-spacing a paper manuscript does, which is the suggested format for paper manuscripts for that exact purpose and reason**. (Being able to comment at the site of the suggested change) Reading through a ms, taking notes and hoping you did not forget to include some snag seen, so you can laboriously reiterate and retype prose snips and then comment these, triples the time it takes to prepare critique, and of course, leaves the recipient needing to hunt each suggestion up within the text body, another time wasting pain in the ass. Hopefully, the new facility allows each mark-up to be pinpointed in the text to avoid this, if so, it is the equivalent to the ability as implemented in all word processors, and adds an actual critique sub-system to the site, expanding its use to writers exponentially.

** It is also required, or was, for galley setting notes, and insertions, font change instructions , and other proofing things but that is of course not as important now, though manuscript format remains largely the same. Historical note: This is where the term "reading between the lines" comes from.

Re: 1 star, .5 star , I don't care but be honest.

#5
Hello, Pauliuk,

If you're still seriously interested in doing some review swapping, I'd be more than happy to take a look into your work and perhaps even provide some more narrowed down criticisms here and there as it suits the situation. I'll also be willing to do a re-review after you've edited your work for improvements. My work in question is Urban Wolf, an action-heavy story which centers on a swordmaster as the main character.

https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/39880/urban-wolf-on-the-run

Message me if you decide to give it a spin.

Re: 1 star, .5 star , I don't care but be honest.

#6

MShadowlawn Wrote: Hello, Pauliuk,

If you're still seriously interested in doing some review swapping, I'd be more than happy to take a look into your work and perhaps even provide some more narrowed down criticisms here and there as it suits the situation. I'll also be willing to do a re-review after you've edited your work for improvements. My work in question is Urban Wolf, an action-heavy story which centers on a swordmaster as the main character.

https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/39880/urban-wolf-on-the-run

Message me if you decide to give it a spin.

I left a bunch of comments. If I were to rate it right now, it would be around a 4. Kinda fun, but the quality could be much improved. The setting feels pretty empty so far, we're in a city I guess? The age seems to be modern, but gangs fight with swords and hammers instead of guns? And there are beast-people, and maybe magic? More worldbuilding would be welcome. We're almost 40k words in, ffs! 


Characters suffer from a similar issue: the only character aside our MC, who is in any way relevant, was Lenny. But he didn't come across as either likable or interesting, he was treated more like a side character, "goon number 37". Same with the Diamonds band, the only person we got any info about was the arrogant lead-singer guy. Our MC didn't charm me, either. "Cold, cool, and great with a sword" is an okay character premise, but we didn't get much further than that. Some snark, some sarcasm, but not enough charm. "Oooh, she has a sad and mysterious past that we will only mention once in a while, but never explain" doesn't make me love her. 

The quality of writing is another shaky point. Major room for improvement, some mistakes are repeated throughout. Just practice more, and this should work itself out I guess. 

Most importantly, stop confounding past and present tenses. That issue in itself deters readers, and makes it harder for us to read. 

Hope you find the comments useful. Cheers  DrakanSmug

Re: 1 star, .5 star , I don't care but be honest.

#7
MShadowlawn Wrote: Hello, Pauliuk,

If you're still seriously interested in doing some review swapping, I'd be more than happy to take a look into your work and perhaps even provide some more narrowed down criticisms here and there as it suits the situation. I'll also be willing to do a re-review after you've edited your work for improvements. My work in question is Urban Wolf, an action-heavy story which centers on a swordmaster as the main character.

https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/39880/urban-wolf-on-the-run

Message me if you decide to give it a spin.


I am starting right now. I’ll be going through it and with my editing suggestions. I will then put them in a spoiler tag so it doesn’t eat of the the comment section.


Re: 1 star, .5 star , I don't care but be honest.

#9
kusuki Wrote: I'm not a native English speaker, in my novels, I find my narration weird I would like some pointers and I bookmarked on chrome your novel.


Thanks, I get to your but your story may move back a bit because you only have 4 chapters and only 4,000 words. Once you at least 10,000 words I can give you a review according to the rules. Until then, I can leave you comments on your story.

Re: 1 star, .5 star , I don't care but be honest.

#10
Hello if you're still interested I would love to swap with you for some honest feedback.

I understand if you don't wish to read through my whole story seeing as though it is about 500 pages. 

I will give your story much the same treatment by going through and giving my thoughts in the comments then after finishing I will give my review. 

My story is dark and has some dark themes. I took heavy inspiration from Re:Zero and a few other stories. But on the surface, it is an isekai about friendship and growing as people.

https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/37600/remento-mori


PS I'm also a bad artist and may draw stuff if I love your story and have free time

Re: 1 star, .5 star , I don't care but be honest.

#11

PhineasGage Wrote: Hello if you're still interested I would love to swap with you for some honest feedback.

I understand if you don't wish to read through my whole story seeing as though it is about 500 pages. 

I will give your story much the same treatment by going through and giving my thoughts in the comments then after finishing I will give my review. 

My story is dark and has some dark themes. I took heavy inspiration from Re:Zero and a few other stories. But on the surface, it is an isekai about friendship and growing as people.

https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/37600/remento-mori


PS I'm also a bad artist and may draw stuff if I love your story and have free time



Alright. Your story isn't unreadably long so I'll be trying to read all of it.

Re: 1 star, .5 star , I don't care but be honest.

#18
Hello Pauliuk,

I'm interested in doing a review swap with you for my wife and I's work The Boros Bachelor. It is also a D&D inspired tale, set in the plane of Ravnica.

What caught my eye about your post is your request for honest critique. I've already taken a preliminary glance at Heroes of Errand, and I think I can offer some helpful feedback.

Just earlier this week one of my comments on a new user's chapter was removed for being 'unduly harsh for a first chapter/first-time author.' The next day, that user immediately revised their work and sent me a thank you message for helping them to improve their storytelling, and still seeks my guidance. I don't think of myself as harsh, I only want to invigorate people by giving them my honest take on their work, whether it is positive or critical. 

If this is the kind of help you want, let me know. 

Thanks,

Thomas