Re: Rating, ANY rating

#2
Don't worry so much.  People avoid dropping ratings normally until like 10 chapters in. Just glossing things over, I don't really see anything that's a problem.  Although I don't know why you capitalized "The Queen Behind The Veil".  The rule on capitalizing titles is "you capitalize the job title when it comes immediately before the name" and since there's no name, you don't capitalize.  

Re: Rating, ANY rating

#3
I too have taken a look at the first chapter of your story. The writing and pace seem approproate, and I see no grammar errors. 

Also, as DarkD said, don't expect any Ratings unril you are a few more chapters in. One thing that distracts -- as I have learned myself -- is your formatting.  You have no space between your paragraphs, as often is the case when writing online, as few writers use indentations.  A lot of people read online using phones or tablets, and having no spaces between your paragraphs presents your story to these readers as just a massive wall of text. 

That is quite off-putting. Consider adding a half space margin between your paragraphs to break up the text. 

Also quite off-putting is the size of your chapters. Online readers often are looking for something to do to pass the time for ten or fifteen minutes, and a 7000 word chapter is too long for that. Consider writing chapters that are 3000 words or less. As an added bonus, you'll get more Views for the same number of words, if you split your two chapters into five or six. 

You'll be likely to get more Comments that way too! Good luck! 🙂

Re: Rating, ANY rating

#5
@DarkD,
DarkD Wrote: Don't worry so much.  People avoid dropping ratings normally until like 10 chapters in. Just glossing things over, I don't really see anything that's a problem.  Although I don't know why you capitalized "The Queen Behind The Veil".  The rule on capitalizing titles is "you capitalize the job title when it comes immediately before the name" and since there's no name, you don't capitalize.  


What is the rule if "Queen beyond the veil" is the job title?

Re: Rating, ANY rating

#7

Avigayil Wrote: @DarkD,
DarkD Wrote: Don't worry so much.  People avoid dropping ratings normally until like 10 chapters in. Just glossing things over, I don't really see anything that's a problem.  Although I don't know why you capitalized "The Queen Behind The Veil".  The rule on capitalizing titles is "you capitalize the job title when it comes immediately before the name" and since there's no name, you don't capitalize.  


What is the rule if "Queen beyond the veil" is the job title?


It would be Queen Beyond the Veil. Also, you do capitalize titles if you are using it to replace someone's name. That gal right there, the Queen Beyond the Veil. As opposed to say, "who is the current queen beyond the viel?"

Re: Rating, ANY rating

#13

Cedrych Wrote:
StgBria Wrote: You might also try the review sub-forum. They love to do review swaps there.

I feel weird about review swaps myself. I'd rather get a review from someone that wanted to read the story rather than just because they want their story reviewed too.


I feel the same way. I also tend to be rather harsh critical (*cough* perfectionist *cough*), so I usually want to spare people my opinion haha