Re: Free Comments on First Chapter

#81

Cloud Wrote: Not sure if you’re sick of reading first chapters by now - but I’ll throw mine in the mix too... I’d be grateful for any level of feedback (here or in the comment under the chapter) 

https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/39586/designation-first



Having read your first chapter, would I be inclined to continue reading?
Yes. Can't tell English isn't your first language. Reads fine. A bit slow though, not much happening. The hook at the end with the AI is what made me change from no to yes.

Re: Free Comments on First Chapter

#82

RayVer Wrote: If you're still available 
https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/40498/apocalypse-meltdown I've got a short 200 word prologue, if you're too busy you can skip through it and head straight to the first chapter.



Having read your first chapter, would I be inclined to continue reading?
Yes. BUT it feels a bit too cliche. I don't particularly like the MC, and it reads like an anime. Not saying that it's bad, for now, but I'd just be careful long term.