Well, I'll be honest there - little time and lots to do recently. What I can promise is that I will read as much of your story as I can (perhaps entirety of it hooks me in) and I'll try to make a review. If I'll break earlier without gathering enough insight to write a review, I'll at least give you a rating but such a thing is unlikely to happen (thus far it only occured when someone had me read a romance story, as I reaaaally can't stand them).
The story is science fiction in theme.
The link: https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/32384/long-war
(standard if either of us doesn't like the story, we just leave it be instead of bombing the other, yeah?)
Here is mine: https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/33058/the-beast-and-the-swallow
It might not be your cup of tea, but if you have some pointers on the topic of grammar and style improvement, this non-native speaker will be glad to hear them.