Re: Non-standard review swap

#1
Instead of me writing you a review, I'll advertise you through a bot message every 1-2 hours on my live streams on Twitch. The duration I advertise you will just depend on how advanced/detailed/helpful the review is. I'm mainly looking for reader feedback on Chapters 41-current so far, but you can also give me reader feedback on chapters before that. For writing feedback, I'd like it to be only focused on Chapters 49+ since I change my writing style a bit from then on. 

I have ~6700 followers and average around 100-120 concurrent viewers overall so you can expect that a lot of people will see the message. I have a hefty amount of topwebfiction votes through this process (433 yearly atm). So you can definitely expect people to at least check out your novel. I can even do a promotion on a live stream talking about how you wrote me a review and that they should check out your story etc.

Link to fiction

If you're interested, comment down below. Story is about 262000 words long right now. 

Re: Non-standard review swap

#3
I decided to edit your synopsis instead:


Previously known as Lusarth Fauxun. [Someone new wouldn't know if the "previously known" is MC former name, or something.]

Former title: Lusarth Fauxun. [this makes it clear that it's the title.]


Roughly two millennia ago, Mana and monsters appeared in the world of Eiruta overnight, forcing all organisms to undergo a selection process; those who could not adapt to the Mana died while the remaining reproduced and lived on. [Don't need to know if it's "Roughly" or not. Don't need to know that it was "overnight" either.

Two millennia has passed since Mana and monsters emerged in the world abruptly. Those able to adapt to Mana thrived and lived, while all else perished. [says the same thing with fewer words.]

This catastrophic event was recorded in every race living on the continent of Sholoth, a land mass covering half the planet, except the Humans, who seem to harbor a secret. [Is it important to the plot whether the event was 'recorded' or not? I imagine not. Only thing I can see of importance for a 'synopsis' in this sentence is that humans hold a secret. The size of the continent is also not important in a synopsis.

Only humans hold a vital secret to this catastrophic event.

Beyond Sholoth lay the 'Cursed Territory,' where anyone brave enough to venture has never returned...
[description of Geography is not important in a synopsis. You are trying to hook the reader (just think of all the movie trailers)]


In a safer part of the world, a young Kai recently turns 11 years old and can finally enroll at the Academy. [Don't need details, like the age when he can enroll, or whether it's safer or not.]

Will Kai fulfill his life-long dream to adventure with friends - exploring and fighting monsters, or will this innocent youth join the most corrupt of organizations?


It has been his life-long dream to become an adventurer, alongside friends, exploring the world and fighting monsters. How could this innocent boy end up abandoning his childhood ambitions and instead end up working for Cascabel, an infamous organization that commits the most atrocious crimes?  

The following synopsis (I would argue) conveys the same vital information about the story, but in far fewer words, making it easier to digest and hold the reader's attention.

Former title: Lusarth Fauxun.
Two millennia has passed since Mana and monsters emerged in the world abruptly. Those able to adapt to Mana thrived and lived, while all else perished. Only humans hold a vital secret to this catastrophic event. Will Kai fulfill his life-long dream to adventure with friends - exploring and fighting monsters, or will this innocent youth join the most corrupt of organizations?

Re: Non-standard review swap

#4
Appreciate the effort, but I asked for specifically feedback on the story. The reason why I want feedback, reader feedback in particular is because I like to hear what people are thinking at each point of the story. The only detailed reader feedback I've received are from my viewers who read the story and bothered to fill out a detailed form for me. I've actually haven't had much detailed feedback from simply readers other than some old reviews some people have written for me which I enjoy reading. I just want another one of those but possibly in more detail. The only constructive feedback I'm looking for is again chapter 49+ in terms of writing.

Also, it is important that the event was recorded to the plot. I'd like to use the word 'reproduced' again for plot purposes. And the Since the first arc is non-linear, I have the second paragraph the way it is.