Requesting opinions and suggestions on my LitRPG's Synopsis

#1
Hello!

If you have a moment could you please review my cover copy? I'll be adding the story this Friday so it's hopefully up by April 1st, and I'd like your opinion if it sounds interesting.

Copy below:
Grace’s has a no good con-man uncle that constantly leaves the 17 year old in charge of actually paying for their lodgings and food, forcing her to come up with creative ways of making up for what she can’t earn from her waitressing job, like playing games online and selling fat loot for real cash. The day before she turns 18 and frees herself from her uncle the Passivity Precept takes over the world, immediately snuffing out all brutality and leaving only its MMO-like violence simulator. Knowing how much she can make from an MMO she enters the sim and discovers that its more than a game. Somewhere in the violence simulator are the answers to who started the fire that killed her father and made her life hell for the past 5 years.

For far too long, Lore has been stuck in the simulator as a free-roaming prisoner of the Ravenborn clan. They’ve held a grudge against his clan and have taken their hatred out on him. Having planned his escape for over three years, he has everything ready but he needs a certain artifact from the Rogues Guild. They’ll only give it to him if he finds and copies the financial records of a certain well-respected member of elven society, records that are in a secret location that just might be impossible to break into. 

Will Grace find her answers? Will Lore gain his freedom? Can the two unlikely people, both alien to each other, find common ground and work together?

Tome of Stealth is a LitRPG adventure with action, romance, a prison break and a heist. There is cursing, gore, and sexy situations (but possibly not sex depending on the chapter 3 poll).

Updates every Monday and Wednesday.

RE: Requesting opinions and suggestions on my LitRPG's Synopsis

#2
(Decided to play with it a bit):

Grace
’s has a no good con-man uncle that constantly leaves the 17seventeen year old((which 17 year old? Is this mention of a third character?)) in charge of actually paying for their lodgings and food., This forcesing her to come up with creative ways ofin making up for what she can’t earn from her waitress
ing job, like playing games online and selling fat loot for real cash. The day before she turns 18eighteen and frees herself from her uncle, the Passivity Precept takes over the world, and snuffed immediately snuffing out all brutality, and leaving only its MMO-like violence simulator. Knowing how much she can make from an MMO, she(who?) enters the sim and discovers that it's more than just a game. Somewhere in the violence simulator are the answers to who started the fire that killed her father and made her life hell for the past 5five years.