I think I'm going crazy. My mind is dominated by an idea that an old gods' servant is teaching me in my dreams. She is showing me past, very old past. In that past, humans are extraordinarily weak and they are being devoured by lots of different monstrosities. She put me in the stories instead of the original heroes and wants me to find out the way they escaped death.
The thing is, I dreamed of our talk a month ago. And today is the first dream that I can recall since then.
Up till today, I thought it was a dream. Now I understand why I felt dead every morning. I was dead. And revived. She told me I've failed all the previous trials and she was considering to give up on me. When I asked if I would've left alive, she only smiled...
Those are old deities, mind you. Without that white and black nonsense...
No, she won't kill me. She is not that evil, I think. But not erasing my memories of death, so as to not waste any more time on me? Yeah, that fits in her character. And then what will happen if my brain thinks he is dead? No more waking up in the best-case scenario, and permanent death in the worse. And I don't like either of them.
Now I'm afraid of going to bed tonight! But I have no choice, lest I want them to send one of those creatures into the real world.
But let me start at the beginning...
I was trying to put it down for an hour now, but it seems to be impossible. When I was writing I kept reliving the scenes and it made my rear bone ache. I'm going to write it in the third person so as to distance myself from that horrible experience. My name is Wsewolod, by the way. Friends call me Lod.
