The Breath of Creation [DROPPED]
Sometimes, the multiverse needs expanding. That's where I come in. But, unfortunately, being a deity isn't all fun and games (and is incredibly complicated), as there are always things working against you. Not even the God of the Multiverses can change that.
Twelve souls were chosen to expand into the void surrounding the known universe(s), and were given a grace period in which they would experience a relatively safe expansion of their domains. Once that period is up, however, they are free to interact with each other...and what lurks in the depths of the Abyss, the Void, and the Primordial Chaos. I am one of those souls. And let me tell you, this shit ain't easy. Between trying to raise mortals into an immortal army, with which I can defend my domain, dealing with my children, and trying to maintain the balance between all realms of existance, I have my work cut out for me. Sigh. Now I know why, back on Earth, gods worked in mysterious, invisible ways. There's just too much to be done.
Formerly called RE: Deity
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Overall, this story is quite well done. The author succeeded in blending Xianxia/Xianhuan concepts (i.e. IET's works and general constructs of the genre) with more western conceps as well as concepts from major religions around the world (e.g. reincarnation, God, agents of God, etc.) . In addition, the author took these small parts of other's ideas and mixed them together and made a unique world. In doing this the author managed to avoid expounding on something they didn't understand well which would make them sound facile, and instead made up something of their own so it can be colored in the author's own way.
The MC acts as a what I think many have hoped to see, a god who does what they must with exceptions (rather than being absurdly whymsical => too far removed from reality) without being a complete control freak, "I'm better than everyone else" and the general psychosis you see in MCs in Xianxia.
The only real lack that I have seen so far is that while character's have been given names (and what they represent), so far they have not been fleshed out too much, though I suppose there is plenty of chapters left for that to be filled in.
The story is great, the idea is original, there was obviously a lot of thought put into these characters and settings. Well written, no glaring issues, but it might be better to slow down the pace a little, as the story glosses over a lot of interesting stuff. For example, the whole city of cultivators doesn't get filled in much, and the pacing skips a bunch of character development. I kind of want more of the minor dieties to at least have names to associate with their domains, instead of jus being referred to as "the other gods". Slow down the pace a litle, flesh out the characters a little more, there's no rush, right?
this is how or what god should be.. not some lame childish ass kicking feeling melodramatic god that we could read in a lot novel... THIS is much more!! the concept of a being and the gods and itus own people.. chaos and all!!! such a great concept!!! please do continue on!!!
For Plot, this is one of the better ones out there on RRL in my opinion with little plot holes and ever so interesting to read.
For Characters, from MC his/herself to the side characters all feel three dimensional with varying personalities and backstories rather than the more common deadpan, half-assed flat and plain characters you would normally expect from online amateur authors.
For Grammar, there are fairly few errors/mistakes/corrections needed to be pointed out and those that do are more or less simply minor that most would not be bother by, so unless you yourself are a grammar Nazi it will not affect you much.
Fair warning to those reading this and expect an action packed novel with powerful characters facing off against countless enemies as this novel is more on world building and character development and interaction with some action mixed in between
Overall, this story is one of the best I have ever read on RRL and I highly recommend it anyone who enjoys stories with a lot of world building and character development.
I read your story in the last 3 days and absolutely love what you've done. In my personal opinion, yours is one of the best of world-building fantasy that I have read recently!! I hope you update soon. Else you can expect a house visit! ;) (jk).
Anyway, great story and can't wait for the next update!
The style of this novel is...impeccable i'd say surprisingly, i thought that it would be boring seeing as the first thought i have when i discovered this novel is "It's gonna be one of those boring and too informative novel isn't it?"
Hell NO! The first chapter made me curious - The second excited - The third oh this is comfortable, well that's it for the style
The story...is godlike [badumtss] no i mean seriously, the story is absolutely astonishing, like i said, it's comfortable, it make's you feel warm, it make's you feel like a parent, it make's you feel disappointed when one of his children do something bad, it's everything that makes you fuzzy, and also a bit of mysterious aka what is Blue Screen-San?
The main character is absolutely likeable, well for me he/she/it but mainly he is what i will define as a cool parent/mom/dad, he's just there to keep his children in check while improving his Realm and personal strength, as a main character he's the perfect support for the Side-Character
Side character is...good, very good, it's warming, his children is adorable, and want's to make the main character proud.
Side note - I want Stareta to at least have a romance because i want to see the reaction his children will give if his wife/husband appeared -Preferably wife as the original soul is a male 'hint hint "Beauty"'
Grammar is good but slight mistake here and there but will get fixed usually after an hour or so, not like some author who decided to never fix their mistake.
Good novel, i've read almost all of the novel in RRL and NU -keyword "Almost and this is one of the best so far.
(Review up to chapter 42-...The more they stay the same)
The beginning of this story is really good and captivating, the protagonist is very likeable and enjoyable, the descriptions are well done and pretty helpful. The whole "creating an universe" is simply full of potential that at first made me crave for more with curiosity. Alas it was only until I realized
About the grammar I can't say much other than it is up there with some of the best I've seen in RoyalRoads, I hardly ever stopped my reading or got confused about something because of some eye-catching mistake. Do take into account that I'm far from being an expert on the subject as my on is not all that great. (and honestly i can put up with bad grammar as long as there is no mix up with there/their, were/we're, your/you're...)
The character are generally decent, but they could be much, much better if only there was some more focus on their development. As is they are pretty shallow (again because of the lack of focus.)
There are too many POV changes, making it impossible to actualy care about the character, nothing is ever in the spotlight long enough to matter. Everything seem rushed and thrown together haphazardly without care or a decent explanation as to why it's there. There are many other reviews saying how "well thought out" it is while what I got from this story is quite the opposite.
Two porly done aspects are the time skips and 'foreshadowing' (or as I see it 'that one paragraph at the end of some chapters saying that something bad is coming'... I think it would be better if there wasn't any.)
We get 5 chapters of build-up to this one specific thing that even the protagonist is eager to see, making this thing appear as super important... just to get a time skip and a single line of text about it... This just makes everything seem a little bit more meaningless, without purpose, they are there just to fill the list of stuff from every type of story that needs to be here "just cause". (and honestly, I don't understand half of whats happening now)
I mean, first of all.. how does the life-giving tree works? is it a giant tree in the midle of a gigantic plane, shooting high into the sky and out into space? or is it sticking out of a humongus planet? the solar systems are in orbit aroud it? how does that work? and how does the day/night cycle works when there is a giant tree in the middle? is the light giving sun orbiting aroud the the tree or aroud the pangea thing under the tree? Or is it like a light bulb that goes on and off? is the tree like the center of the galaxy with the solar systems aroud it?....
wans't cultivation meant to make mortals ascend and become angels and help others ascned and become angel and so on? And this new 'regions' thingy, how does THAT works?they put on a barrier to avoid influencing its growth, then the dao xu guy influences its growth.... and where does 'power' comes from? is the primordial chaos? then where does that comes from? where does the souls come from? how did Tian got the Dao thing? wanst it important? are there no more immortal mortal other than the empress? and who is she? she shows up but is not important? she doesnt even have name?
and the divine beasts? what purpose do they serve? or are they there just because wuxia needs their divine beast so just put it there....
argh, that the shit i'm tlaking about, there is too much stuff without a decent explanation of why they are there or how they work, they are there just to fill those genre cliches....
I would describe this story as rushed and shallow.
STILL... Even with all this flaws I would recommend you to check it if only to see the "Deity creating universe" thing, wich in my humble opinion was a pretty bold move and is a breath of fresh air in this infinite tide of LitRPG e reincarnation storys. Just don't expect a deep and meaningfull story in a world that actually makes sense...
Okay, excuse the poor pun. But this story has world-building not just from a mechanical point (the MC is a creation deity) but also from a literary point. This isn't the only story about such a thing, but it certainly handles it the most gracefully.
The characters makes sense, and it doesn't feel like the design decisions were made superficially. (Example of superficial decisions: reincarnation trope when the MC only uses past knowledge to kickstart a sweets empire and gather a harem.)
Information is handled without hideous infodumps. Grammar and spelling are great. Give it a read; even if it isn't your cup of tea, it's still an interesting start.
Now for the long version... (1/2 for the author, 1/2 for fellow readers)
You don't have to be in the know for any sort of niche culture (reincarnation stories, cultivation, etc.) to enjoy this story. If anything, I've appreciated the very lack of references to "otaku" pop culture.
There are, of course, elements in common with other series. For example, the "blue boxes" or the idea of realm-building on a timed schedule. However, they are addressed in a way that's unobtrusive and fresh.
I especially appreciate the fact that the main character is neuter, and it actually fits. This isn't some macho-acting, technically androgynous being whose subplot revolves around getting functioning equipment for its harem. As for what the feminine version of that would be, I'm not even sure.
Moreover, this is "powerful" done well. The MC is powerful, definitely in the "OP" bracket of things. However, this doesn't prevent conficts in the story from happening. It also doesn't cause horrible power creep (yet) that is so common. The reasons behind the MC's actions and inactions are belivable.
Partially to make up for this, the story also focuses on other characters. I'm normally not a big fan of this, even when it's handled well(ish). However, the various characters are both unique and memorable. I had some trouble as the number of characters increased. For the most part, there were enough casual mentions (in narration or dialogue) to recall, "Oh, right, there was ___ too."
Then, there's the info delivery. I have read very few non-published stories that deliver that much information so well. There simply aren't infodumps. Part of it is the fact that we, the readers, are there many steps of the way as the world itself is created.
Information about things outside the world, such as the MC's past, are also delivered in small amounts. You get to piece together scraps of information to answer questions along the way. This is one series where I'm not left wondering about plot holes.
The #1 thing I'm unsatisfied with is the novel's name. Re: Deity is just so...generic. As a rule of thumb, I stay away from anything with "Re:" in the title (excepting the original, Re:Monster). Even calling it "Stratera Luotian" would be better.
And...that's it for now! My verdict is a shocking 5 stars--and I hate giving 5 stars--because I can't find any real flaws in the story. Usually, I don't even like kind, benevolent MC's. Yet the main character's personality fits perfectly as a benevolent (yet also carefree) creation deity who isn't entirely without flaws.
+Follow, +Fave :3
I didn't think I'd like the premise, gave it a chance anyways and was pleasantly surprised at how well the author makes it work. If you enjoy dungeon novels then this novel is for you, it gives a macro version of dungeon novel style creation, along with elements of a LITRPG in the form of first person stories about some of the side characters. Overall very well executed and I recommend that everyone try it out.
Even without considering the epic amount of shitty writing hosted on this site, this novel stands apart from cultivation and fantasy novels in just about every way. This story is beautiful in whole and in all its parts. Thank you.