Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity

Riley Grey is your average hard-working college student. Average meaning he does just enough to get by. Despite his lack of dedication to all things educational he still strives to work hard on one thing at least, kicking butt in his favorite virtual reality game: Dreamscape Online. Still, he isn't great at that either, until he gets caught up in a freak accident while playing. All of the players now have their eyes set on a tempting target. Unfortunately, that target is now our hero turned villain. He must struggle through everything that life throws at him in order to reach the simple goal he set for himself. To explore this new world he finds himself in.

This story is Discontinued. Due to personal reasons, I had been pulled away from writing for an extended period of time. Now that I have my time back, It's just no longer fun to write this story. I won't remove any content for those still curious (a lot of my readers had told me I was doing a good job), but it's not likely I am going to add anything either.

Thank you for the adventure that writing this story for you has become. I have read every comment and review and still come back to them. It has been wonderful to see all of you supporting me on this journey.

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FOULdragon

FOULdragon

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Table of Contents
Chapter Name Release Date
Prologue ago
Chapter 1: Techno-logic ago
Chapter 2: A fresh start. ago
Chapter 3: Quest log, Activate! ago
Chapter 4: Constant Vigilance ago
Chapter 5: Preparations ago
Chapter 6: Thanks for the food! ago
Chapter 7: Blood, bile, and tears ago
Chapter 8: Death is only the beginning. ago
THIS AUTHOR IS NOT DEADED!!! ago
Chapter 9: Humble pie? No thanks, I'm on a diet! ago
Chapter 10: Fame and Infamy ago
Chapter 11: All-seeing eyes ago
Chapter 12: Sometimes Rivalry comes from the most unusual circumstances... ago
Chapter 13: Not always as it seems... ago
Chapter 14: Acceptance ago
Chapter 15: This just in...! ago
Chapter 16: The best laid plans... ago
Chapter 17: Pain and Rage ago
Chapter 18: Survival of the fittest ago
Chapter 19: Peace of mind ago
Chapter 20: Memories from the past ago
Chapter 21: The beginnings of power ago
Chapter 22: Planning ahead is better than improvisation in most situations ago
Not a chapter, but an important question. ago
Chapter 23: Troubles aplenty ago
Chapter 24: The Battle of Bloody Thistles ago
Chapter 25: Thank Me Almighty, I'm free at last! ago
Chapter 26: A Bag of Tricks ago
Chapter 27: Rest and Recovery ago
Not a chapter: Things are going to slow down for a while. ago
Chapter 28: Story Time ago
Chapter 29: Bad Luck ago
Chapter 30: Revenge is a dish best served in a coffin ago
Chapter 31: The Chase ago
Chapter 32: Relief and realization ago
Update on what's going on right now. ago

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djskratta
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Boss isn't your typical VR MMO story.

Hi! My name is Dan. I am a close friend to the author and fellow brain of imagination. Since the day he has started writing this book, I've been pushing him to keep going. Let's be honest here, full-time work doesn't mix well with writing a book. So he has been slow to start up, but once he got a hold of his imagination, the chapters have been flowing through almost weekly. I love where he has taken this story so far, and with only 20 chapters in, this is already a really good attention grabbing book. The one thing that I love about this particular lit-RPG is that there aren't those ridiculous stats and fancy armor isn't going to save you. A killing blow in this game world is still a killing blow. So a low-level player with nothing left to lose can definitely take on the biggest and the badest. That isn't saying that it's going to happen in the story. Just a figure of speech. What I'm getting at here, is that the allure of this game world in this story is that it pushes the envelope of realism while maintaining game-like elements, and that is what attracts our protagonist into the fray. 

The Story

There is a real world outside of the video game world and that is established from the very beginning. It is set somewhere in the near future and technology has progressed somewhat. The world has just set foot into full immersion virtual reality, but there isn't really any good games out there besides first person shooters until Dreamscape Online finally goes up and players finally get a chance to play. This story isn't told from one point of view. The author jumps around to various perspectives to widen the view of the interactivity between characters. 

The Characters

Each main character is fully fleshed out in personality, but are not overpowering in their emotions. The author really goes out of his way to put himself in the position of those characters and react how he thinks that they would react to a particular situation given their current personality and mindset.

The Style

This story is written in the first and third person. When the story is focused on the main character, it is in first person perspective. When focused upon anyone else, the story is from the third person perspective. Even though these other characters are important to the structure of the story, their interactions end up being intertwined. Even while certain characters are the focus of the chapter, other characters may be off doing their own thing.

Spoiler: Spoiler

 The Grammer

The author doesn't have a problem with bad grammar or repeat words or low-level vocabulary. He does, in fact, have a very large vocabulary and has fluid story progression without becoming confused in the middle of a sentence. Everything is stated clear and concise. He has gone back and improved upon old chapters and the newer chapters have significantly improved. 

The Book Cover

You knew I was gonna talk about this bro. LMAO. Yes, I'm talking to you mister author! So last night and this morning, I spent quite a few hours in Photoshop making that book cover. The layout was all requested by him, so this isn't just random stuff slapped together. It was a ton of fun to make. Here is a larger version if you would like to take a look...

Boss Book Cover Art

Rouge
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character
Beware, wall of text ahead !
Go to "Conclusion" if you deem it too long.

First, the story.
 
I was a bit surprised to find a prologue that is not just a short chapter that present quickly everything that you needed. Instead, I found a character, discovered his life, what he likes and dislikes, as if the summary was just an ill omen that was to be forgotten (but never forgotten by the author).

You took your time to present side characters, and almost each has a place in the story at this time. You created a base of real life upon which you could build the rest of your story, and I really appreciated it because it is important in the story. It is not just a foundation too quickly forgotten in order to make your character grow as you wish.
 
The progression of the plot is pretty satisfying at the moment and stay coherent with the universe you built. I expect that it will not just be the everyday life of our main character, his brother will have a great importance too. I wonder if the friends of our "hero" will be seen again, and maybe the first pair of player that mistreated him too ? Wait and see.
 
You managed the different points of view pretty well, never repeating the scene even if the events overlapped. In my opinion, using a symbol ( *** or ~*~  as exemple) to signal clearly a change of narrator would benefit your story in a minute way that could clarify who's talking and when. I must say that a simple additional line jump between paragraph confused me a bit, so please pardon me if you disagree.
 
 
Second, the style.
 
I am not a great judge, but I'll do my best. Very few word repetitions, even in order to talk about your characters (A bit surprising to have Evan talk about his mother as Miss Gray though). Not excessively various but some noticeable efforts. You could make smaller paragraph sometimes, some of them are very long.

Not difficult to read or understand, the LitRPG part is still light but it does not bother me for the moment (I'm not a real fan of extra-long tables with lots upon lots of stats).

Clear difference in style when Riley is narrating or when another character point of view is adopted, even if sometimes a clear sign could help a poor reader (see above).
 
 
Grammar, the third.
No opinion about it. I'm not a native speaker and would never claim to be a grammar expert. But as I have to put a mark, I'll just say not perfect but good.
 
 
Fourth, the characters.
Riley is likeable, has a grain of healthy craziness, and react like a child in a candy store when he discovers the game. I expected him to take more time observing what a forest is. After all, he was sent to hunt in a forest ! Something he longed to see.
He could have used a bit more time to develop himself in the first chapters (A strong impulse directed the choices of the character - wanting to cuddle cats-, but it was quickly warped up and forgotten in the midst of the events), even if some would say that it would make the introduction too long.
 
Evan is really interesting. The big brother outside the game, a non-important character at first, but who has a big opportunity to be developed. We do not know very much about him in the end. He loves his family, care about them, like sports and not games, and like his not top-notch tech.
With the situation at hand, I expect a large development of these characters.
 
Aria ? I'm a bit ambivalent about her. She is well fleshed, clever, a bit wilful and care a lot about her work and relatives. But I did not like a lot the way she saw what happened to Riley. At first, it is understandable, she did not know what happened exactly and her reactions are what I could expect from one of her kind.  
Spoiler: Spoiler

 

I expected Jake to take a more active role to counterbalance her and her slightly inhuman way of thinking, but he still is more of a background character for the time being. Maybe their relationship will evolve later.

[ Edit 08/30: with the new chapters, the author gave us more insight on Aria. It explained a lot and dealt with the issue mentioned above.
 
Last but not least, the villain. There is one, but we don't really know if we will see him again. It might be a point driving this story toward a slice of life story or another one. ]
 
Conclusion :
 
[Edited at chap 27]
A good story, entertaining, with characters fleshed out well enough to be likeable. May be considered a bit slow, because our hero is someone who is discovering a new world. 

Do not expect a mighty quest with a big goal at the end. Actually, there is no end game aim at the moment, which could explain the slow pace.

The author seems to be exploring his world too so I do not expect to see the narrative arc end befor quite a long time. The comedic touch kept me entertained, so its length does not bother me in the end.
 
It would be interesting to see a rewrite after seeing this story finished. A well defined world and plot less comedy centered would allow for much more to happen in much less time.
 
 
Keep up the good work and we'll keep the potatoes at bay.

Rouge.

Impaler
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Style:

Unique view of a pretty common idea, great ideas.

Grammar:

Nothing big, small mistakes that doesn't impair enjoyment.

Story:

Great, this story really shines in this department. There was a plot twist that I didn't expect when reading from the start but the development incoporated these ideas well.

Character:

There's only 15 chapters as of now but the characteristics and values each character has is already clear.

Kalari
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

So, here's the thing.

Personally. I feel dissapointed in this story.

I mean, no offense the story is good and all, however. It's been ~4 months since the last chapter. And I need more to satistfy my addiction to this story.