I Come From The Water

by Zephyr

Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity

Mor is a mermaid, but not one of those lovey dovey kinds that you hear about all over the place. No she is a real Mermaid. One that kills and eats people, lures humans to their death, and laughs while watching. Unfortunatly for her, on a much needed day off, she ended up going to another world. 

 

(Do to reading one to many LN I have decided to write my own. This is my take on a cléche world transfer novel.

Also I have a website with my books on it if you wish to read it there: https://localleaderkaz.wordpress.com/

P.S. All work is copy write of me. Please don’t take it.

P.S.S. There is a Yuri character who has a crush on the main... no action though)

  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score
  • Total Views :
  • 194,468
  • Average Views :
  • 4,420
  • Followers :
  • 415
  • Favorites :
  • 80
  • Ratings :
  • 75
  • Pages :
  • 195
Advertisement
Remove
Go to Table of Contents
Rate it
Fiction breaking rules? Report
Advertisement
Remove
Author
Zephyr

Zephyr

Achievements
Word Count (X)
400 Followers
50 Comments
Top List #500
100,000 Views
Royal Road Christmas Special
Error Fixer
5th Anniversary
Advertisement
Remove

Leave a review

drakan_glasses BE NICE! Fair critique is fair, but be respectful & follow the review rules. There will be no mercy.
Reviews
Sort by:
Good Witch
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

I love the main character and the storyline, it's an awesome idea and the author is an awesome writer and I love the side characters too.

But... the fact that Mor can't communicate to the others would normally be something that only goes on for a couple of chapters but right now it's getting a little played out.

King A.J
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

 I'm not Good at giving reviews but I'll try.

 

The story is Good, it's a Bit Different from other reincarnated/transported to another world stories that I've read, this one got no annoying magic elements that make it the same like any other fantasy stories after all. so I feel like this story is going to be more interesting in the upcoming chapters, so I would like you to give it a go.

 

Next is Grammar, I can't say it's Bad, Can't say it's good either, its more like it's Readable. There might be some Errors too, but i cant help and point it out on the comment sec because I have to do a few "whatever Steps" to send a comment.

 

And Lastly Characters, when Gram Conner(did I got his name right? I forgot🙏✌) got himself introduced Amice Didn't feel much suspicious on him and more like "You got taken and blah blah blah... You poor thing" Like that. It would be better if she's cautious with him and try to pry what's he up to if he's going to tag with them. But Thanks to mor she's not like amice and always had her guard up.

 

So Overall 5stars

And Don't Go missing or went Hiatus, Okay? I'm tired trying to find a good story with a female MC.

 

Keep the Story and Chapters Up, Thanks.

 

slobkiller
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

The story is good and it is well written so it is easy to follow with only a few spelling mistakes. I think that the characters while fairly shallow for now have a lot of potential and I think that this story has potential to be very interesting longterm and I am looking forward to the future of the story.

Pyottl
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Entertaining, but that grammar ...

As of chapter 36

Style 

It's essentially straight-forward action adventure told in a straight-forward manner. Sometimes it's about violence, sometimes it's about the incredolous actions of the 'party' members. It's all good fun.

There's frequent POV changes to show what others think about certain actions and while I find that method a bit 'cheap' to convey this, it's not like it doesn't work, so that's OK too. 

Grammar

Barely tolerable for me. Just right at the border where I'd usually be saying 'this is unreadable' and go read something else. 

Tenses: lots of mixed up between past and present tense. Without actually checking I couldn't even say whether it was meant to be told in one or the other.

Words: lots of mix-ups. Some were quite fun (who knew that misquotes where annoying, bloodsucking insects? Hopefully they had an anecdote ready for any disease they transmit ....). Also oddly consistent: provinces are always provence. So the story takes place in France?

I feel a huge portion of this issue just could be solved by reading the chapters once more very slowly, sentence by sentence, and fix the biggest problems. So it's a shame that's not done.

Story

A mermaid from future Earth (I think) gets transported to a parallel-universe Earth that's more medieval. Essentially she wants to go back, although it's not entirely clear why (but I guess she can just randomly feel that way).

She soon meets a tag-along, and then another one, and then suddenly they are mixed up in the usual evil Church business. 

There isn't much in terms of depth or twists, but it's entertaining nonetheless.

Characters

Probably the biggest strength of the novel. I can't even decide whether the human-eating mermaid or her obsessed side-kick who apparently tried to save 900+ people and failed every single time (and is wanted in multiple proven...provinces but doesn't seem to care about that at all) is more interesting and fun to watch.

There isn't much spot light on any other characters, but the ones we meet are perfectly fine. 

Overall

It's fast-paced fun, despite the grammatical issues. But I wish those were dealt with so I could concentrate on enjoying the adventure better. 

caby202
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

its not bad at all, and characters seem interesting, but sometimes you'd probably want to get someone to just check your spelling, constantly throughout the novel you'd come upon mispelled words.
Its still worth reading.