I Have Been Summoned as a Hero ...I Am a God Though
- Sexual Content
- Traumatising content
Tyche, Lakshmi, Budai, Caishen, Fortuna, Laima, Ekeko, Rundas, they are just some of the names humans have given me on Earth. I bring fortune and luck. I govern chance and possibility. I am the personification of the phenomena that rule over matter on a quantum level.
...and right now I'm on a vacation to enjoy human food around the world, or I was, as someone decided to summon me to another world and stick the "hero" title to me. This new world seems a lot like the games that appeared on Earth in the last decades, so I'm just going to enjoy it for a while.
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R18 This novel contains gore, explicit sexual content and profanity.
This novel is a work of fiction that may depict gods in a way that differs a lot from today religions, please don't be offended by this and please don't start a new religion out of it, we have already enough to choose from (someone may laugh reading this disclaimer but you can never know).
At least a chapter a week between Friday and Sunday.
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I won't sugar coat it, this needs a bit of work. But you have been making improvements with the latest chapters so don't feel so bad. It is not the worst thing I have seen and not the best either. Which just means you have lots of room to improve and spread your writer wings. You picked a rather crowded genre and unless you do something truely special, it will get drowned in all the other reincarnation stories. As someone who has read a lot of them, I am a bit desensatized to them. So unless a story really jumps at me, well, you read one, you read them all.
Alright, to the nitty gritty. Your sex scenes were well, bland. Don't feel too bad this is coming from a pervert who writes erotica when I am bored. Now, there is a time and a place for sex, but when you over saturate your story with it, not only does it get annoying, but it feels cheap and it bogs down the plot developement.
This is doubly so when you don't get the feelings involved and it just feels empty and they are just going through the motions. Sex needs to be hot, passionate and lust fueled or tender and loving. That being said, emotions are key. This is first person, so show some feelings. Seriously, if your MC was tryin to sex me, I would likely fall alseep. There needs to be more than just kissing everywhere. Like literally, enough with the kissing, there was just about a whole chapter of just kissing.
Diversify your vocabulary, that being said don't use big words that people have to look up. Just using synonyms works rather well for breaking up the monotony of over used words.
Another thing that you could use a bit of improvement on would be descriptions. You scantly give us details about anything, her surroundings, the people, or even her herself. As for her you did a bit in the first chapter, but after a while, since the image wasn't very strong, I have already forgotten what she looks like really.
Characters were a bit shallow, especially the MC. I found it actually rather hard to like the MC with how she was presented. Emotions were lacking from well just about everything. The scene where the Queen's arm got ripped off was strange to say the least. I mean her arm got torn off. There should be screaming and crying and thrashing about. And the scene about lost loves felt very forced, especially when it came outa nowhere. I meanm I get that they are girls and girls cry, but crying like that just didn't feel right. If you had built up into it, it would have been fine.
Story plot itself is well, what you would expect from a summoned hero story. OMG Demons! There is almost no tension in the story what so ever, however given the premise that MC is literally a god, well it is a bit hard to find things that challenge a god, especially when said god appears to be stronger than the gods of the world that summoned her. I did like that she didn't just steam roll over her instructers in some op sheninanigans like many others do.
Also, won't get on your case about the grammar, there was a bit of problems, but it wasn't too bad. I recomend using Grammerly and Ginger both are free and will greatly help you improve catching the small things like the word "Through" Not "Trough" I saw that quite a few time.
Long story short. Lots of room to improve, stretch that imagination muscle and show us what you can do. Make a wonderous and imaginative world. It is a fanatasy after all so let it loose :3
sincely your freindly neighborhood stripper cat.
The main character isn't well written, well, her interactions with others that is. Whenever someone mentions, or she thinks of her love, which died god knows how many thousand years ago, she tears up, in a way that could use more fleshing out. There's poorly written yuri, which I wouldn't mind as much if it was better introduced, not popping out of nowhere and also more fleshed out, or not feel like it was written by a pent up teenager. Another thing that ruffles my jimmies is the council being amazed at some realisation obvious to anyone who has the smallest amount of gumption. Well that just adds up to the feeling that the MC is the only real """"character"""" and that the rest are just toddlers here to react to the protagonist.
So why do I care so much that I just spent 5 minutes writing this stupid, badly written review ? Because I really like the premise and the start of the story isn't even that bad. It squandered its potential.
BTW, what I mean by poorly written is : not descriptive enough, too focused on one aspect and not on the rest of the scene, not enough vocabulary or not fleshed out enough.
I've been following this story for a while, and chapters are starting to become sparse. I feel like it's a shame, you deefinitly have something with this story.
I've read a few other reviews, and a feel like they have a point. I like the fact that the mc is a god, and the way the story has been progressing so far. However, you don't want this story to be generic, you'll need to find a way to make it a bit more original than a summoned hero going on adventures. Maybe the mc should start spreading a new faith ? Maybe she should turn completly evil to force everyone to become allies to defeat her ? Kinda cliché there btw, but I'm sure you'll find where you want to go with this story.
Overall I give you five stars, I don't really think that you deserve them quite yet, but I'd give you pretty damn near a 5 stars with an advanced review anyway. Let's round it up and chalk it up as some encouragement.
I like the story,slightly different perspective on an old theme.
I find the characters a bit too changeable at times the mc has no interest in love just juicy playtime then she states she has feelings for the lover but quite easily continues just as she did before,I struggle for a mental image of characters I've long forgotten what the mc/ultimate evil looks like other than her eyes at chapter 32 still like the story though so I'm not knocking your work I'm only trying to give examples of where things feel a bit off to me.
An interesting beginning to the reincarnation theme, but runs the risk of losing the twist as time goes on. I think it will be important that the divinity of the MC remain a distinguishable aspect vs the generic OP protagonist found elsewhere.
The development of the MC is moving along nicely, but there is room for more developed side characters. I think it would be most interesting to see foils developed from the MC point of view, and not a switch in narrative position.
The grammar is above average for the site, but could be improved in a few areas. It is not to the point of being distracting from the story.
For the time being, I’m cautiously optimistic, and will continue to follow.
There is a lot of potential in this story, and the only reason I haven't given higher ratings is because we're not far enough into the narrative to tell, although it feels like "something" is just missing (perhaps a sense of tension or uncertainty, which obviously don't really work in the setting you've provided.).
I'll update once the story progresses further.
By the synopsis, I was rather unintrigued. So much so I haven't even considered to read it. However when I did, I found that as of current chapters(up to 8) the story has been wonderful, and ended up in one of my top 5 on this website. I've read plenty of novels here mind you. This is just plain and simple good. I've never really left a review for anything else, but I needed to on this. I recommend this to anyone who enjoys these kinds of stories.
This story has great potential. It is fun and simple. I have my own review for this story. Mind you this is just my own review. You should read it until chapter 5 at least. Who knows, maybe we can agree to disagree.
God meets a problem, He can snap His finger. Poof. Problem disappears. This is the problem if the protagonist has too much power. There is no struggle. No sense of achievement. Basically it is just… traveling story.
The main character’s motivation in this world is to have fun. But it is not clear what his idea of being fun is. This could be a problem in the future because we cannot see what motivation the protagonist has. Sure he wants to have fun, but if he ever deems it no longer fun? Just leave the world, teleport to another world to have fun. Why not? He is God. He can do anything. He is also stronger than the two gods so he can make them his bitches.
The protagonist: he is volatile. Until chapter 5, we do not have any idea what personality the protagonist has. What we know is that he wants to have fun and he is dangerous. What kind of sane person rips an arm off from the queen? Correction, he is not person. He is God. So he can do anything. Or is he? Are we reading the adventure of a psychopath or something here? No idea yet, to be revealed in further chapters.
King: sigh, what kind of king trembles in front of someone? A true king never bows, never show his fear. Even in front of God or Satan. Because… just because. I will not say because a king has to be psychopath, or he has to disregard his people just as number, or he has to put his country over his own family. I’m not saying anything here. But a king who trembles before his arch enemy? Yeah, that is the kind of king you want to follow. Snort.
Queen: better than the king. At least she does not fear the protagonist. She has guts. Heck if I ever got my arm ripped off, I would cry and scream. She did not, which is why I think she is strong. She is also cunning. Unfortunately she meets the protagonist that is a God. Tough luck, baby. She is my favorite in this story.
Grammar and Vocabulary. It is good, no comment here.
Edit* I'm going to go through and reread this story and catch up, then update this review some more.
I still see grammar problems every few chapters but those are the only problems I see. A fantastic story that has a good mix of comedy, fighting, powers, and love. I have read up to chapter 14 and have always been surprised by what happens in some of the later chapters. Wonderful work and I really am lucky to find it.
The Story is a very well new thing (and nice Idea by the way) where a God of another world instead of the hero is summoned.The Characters are very well made especially the protagonist. I have seen a lot of novels but never with a protagonist that is as amazing as that. I r8 a perfect score 5/7 would go insane again.