Original COMPLETED Adventure Fantasy Psychological LitRPG Magic Male Lead Virtual Reality
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity

Shawn Bradshaw has made a desperate gamble. To save his life he risked it all in an attempt to become digitized. Knowing almost nothing about the greater Digital community or if he will be allowed to join, how Digital existence is experienced, or even if he will be relegated to a Digital zoo.

Shawn's success in obtaining immortality is but the start of his journey. Thrust into the kingdom of Loson's political intrigue, friends become enemies, allies manipulate and control, Shawn must decide how much assistance he is willing to let his allies provide and if he wants to count them as enemies instead. 

Oblivious and ignorant of the culture, manipulated, reveling in his new found freedom even as he is chained socially, Shawn must decide on his long term goals and what he is willing to give up to achieve them.

The Immortal Wizard must decide what kind of legend he will leave behind.



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alstonsleet

alstonsleet

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phaixe
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*spoiler warning*

I have finished all available chapters up to 14 since this is still pretty short. It is well written and obviously proofread, which sets this on a level above the majority of works on this site. However, the way this story is set up just makes it extremely difficult for the reader to care about anything that happens in this new world the MC is in.

He is the ultimate gary stu, immortality without consequence. There is no tension, no sense of urgency, any trouble the MC gets in can be negated simply because that is how the story is set up. We are barely past the introduction and he is already threatening kings with the power to back it up. His entire time in this world can be summed up as one giant training arc, a 700,000 year training arc while we wait for the real story to start. Let's be honest here, no one likes reading training arcs, it's something to gloss over and get the general idea of before moving on to the actual plot. And at this point, it's almost impossible for the author to introduce suspense without backtracking on the premise.

Since the entire premise is that the fantasy world is basically a training room for a transhuman digital being, it just makes it impossible to care about anything MC gets involved in. The most recent fight is a perfect example, he basically brute forced his way to victory using his absolutely absurd cheat, it's like watching someone play minesweeper with invicible hacks, what is the point?

The changing POVs actually brought some life to this dull affair, and I found them to be both interesting and engaging, while at the same time contributing to worldbuilding. Frankly, it would make more sense to tell the story entirely from other perspectives because the MC has such a boring cheat ability.

extra: from the looks of it, no shoehorned romance thank goodness.

krunr
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I am liking the story so far and anticipate more to come

Ares
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IF YOU'RE WANTING TO READ A STORY ABOUT SOMEONE RECOGNIZED AS A GOD FROM HIS BIRTH AND HIS LEGENDS, THIS MIGHT BE IT

I am going to go straight to critiquing this story. Spoilers of first seven chapters in review below.

First of all, there is an inconsistency in MC between chapter 1 & 2. In chapter one, he sticks it to the all the bureaucrat and all the rest of the "dumb" humanity by being the very first to come up with a simple plot to get forcebly martialed by the Digital judicial court as it lead him to being digitized. In the second chapter, there is a twist in his personality (or shall I say intelligence). After being subjected to some mind-bending physics, he becomes an child that needs to be led by his finger and shown the ropes even though he has played mmos in his previous life on which this world is designed. So he shows up in a village, starts performing magic in the middle of the village square. For this, he has to apolagize to the elder, and without any further thought or tact, he lays bare everything (reveals his status widow) to this guy. So our MC ends up becoming the village idiot who gets escorted around and berated by a little kid. In a small moment of frustration (he is told his fireball is dumb) our MC snaps like a dumb goof revealing he is not even from this world, and he can make magic out of thin air. It frustrates me to no end that our MC couldnt think of a simple plan to blend in with the village and exercise his magic in private; he literally can make any magic spell himself. But, I suppose MC just wanted to be upfront god, and to merely go on grand adventures by keeping everything simple. Personally, I had to drop that story then and there

The idea of the game system (digital world) itself is just beyond me. Some how inside the game he is suppose to get ultra smart so that he can be initiated into Digital community, whom have conquered the universe (or multiverse), by throwing around fireballs and killing fantasy creatures. He doesn't even have to understand the theory behind a fireball, all he has to do is "imagine" it.

More on Digitals. Apparently, the humans are still dumb, and can't even lift a finger against these machines. Anyway, these Digitals want to diversity their programs or the community in general, and yet they are simply waiting on human (who are like lab rats to them) consent to meddle in any way in their life. Mind you, these digitals can create worlds with a richer flora and fuana plus a deeper world history, in matter of relative earth seconds. Need I remind you, these machines are already everywhere in the multiverse. Furthermore, we are given no history of these Digital's origins or their advancements to the point where some people for some reason "deleted" the first AI, the successive war so on and so forth. Its just the first chapter and a little bit of the second where you meet them for a brief introduction, and off we are on adventures. 

Conclusion: the story is about a character life who is known to be a god-in-training (at least by people that matter) and his epic adventures to improve his mental capacity somehow by learning virtual magics and combat. The rest you can glean from the synopsis. There is going to be court politics, manipulation, and its going be a looong ride, if the rough estimate of seven hundred thousand years "experiential" to holds up. Not my cup of tea, but I hope you enjoy it. 

DivineCat
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(It is currently at chapter 21)

 

although I love childish main characters it is good too have a cool headed smart one every once in a while!!!

keep up the good work!!!

i love the story!!!

 

 

 

... I hope the politics won't consume every chapter... 

i NEED fights and action!!!

NoahBarnett6
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Beautiful Political Intrigue +++

Wow where to start.  It was refreshingly different than the usual LitRPG novels.  The digitization of a person intrigues me to no end.  You use a few status windows to give us an idea of how the world works, then you tell a story.  

Style

Good use of first person perspective.  The authors show the reader what is happening instead of just telling us.  Excellent use of character and environment description.  

Story - Love the politcal world the character has been thrown into.  Even as a powerful undying character he has to living in this world.  Everything feels connected from the spying servants to the dungeon mining.  

Grammer - A few spelling errors but not enough to really mention.  I only took off half a star.

Character - I like him.  His choices are brutal but not without reason.  You can see the influence of being turned digital.  The fact he doesn't have a 'harem' of women following him around is nice to see.  I suppose that comes back to the fact he's gonig to live for thousands of years.  

 

Very strong story, loved it.  Probably going to favorite it just because im so interesting in how others deal with digital avatars.  

Futhark the Elder
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A self-deprecating protagonist, touches of humour, an original and plausible take on the standard digitisation premise in litrpg, and a knack for telling an engaging yarn --- this story ticks all the boxes.

My only criticism --- but the quality of the writing ensures that it is a minor one --- is that the editing could be a tad more meticulous.

Overall, a big thumbs up.

Roknar
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Ok this story looks like it will be worth following. Original, thought provoking, and down right enjoyable. Keep up the good work.

Escribo
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Engie Energy Executed Excellently

Humor and concept are well executed and pacing is nice. I imagine if you like an intelligent MC who you don't mind sticking around in the mind of, this is the story for you.

Style/Story- Lovable engineer MC perspective. I think the strength of this story is just watching the world through his eyes. The action of the story slips in and out from his actions and thoughts, heavily character driven.

Gremmer- beuatiful. Author missed a few things, but I think anyone who reads this story will forgive him.

Character- I saw in the comments of one chapter the author responding quite seriously to someone who commented about one of his character actions. That shows a great deal of care about his world and the character's feelings and perspectives.

 

qelvish
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i love it already and wish to inhale it. Amazing idea, super philisophical

rctsj
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Do yourself a favour and read this story.