Everybody Loves Large Chests

by Exterminatus

Original HIATUS Adventure Comedy Fantasy Satire Anti-Hero Lead Harem LitRPG Magic Non-Human lead Secret Identity
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity
  • Sexual Content

Everybody Loves Large Chests is now available on Amazon and Audible! Featuring lots of editorial love and a more enjoyable reading/listening experience!

Large chests are said to encompass all manner of hopes and dreams. Men covet them. Women envy them. But one fact holds true - everyone wants to get their hands on some big ones.

The same holds true for one intrepid adventurer - a strapping young lad by the name of Himmel. Armed with his grandfather’s trusty longsword and the dream of being the strongest, he sets out on the journey of a lifetime! It is sure to be a long and dangerous road, fraught with danger! And it all starts with a simple test - reach Level 5 in the dungeon called the ‘newbie zone’ and earn the right to become a full-fledged adventurer!

However, such things get hopelessly derailed when his adolescent mind beholds an exposed chest for the first time. A fateful meeting that would inevitably lead his life in a direction he never even dreamed of!

This fiction is written, maintained and owned by Neven Iliev. It is also a participant of the WriTEr's pledge.

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Author
Exterminatus

Exterminatus

Chestiest Chest That Ever Chested

Achievements
Author Premium Beta Testers
The Random Factor
Great Commenter (V)
Fledgling Reviewer (I)
Great Review (IV)
Word Count (X)
I Am Flying (IX)
Resilient Support
Royal Bloodline
Group War
Worthy Sacrifice
Memorable Acts
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Table of Contents
Chapter Name Release Date
Prologue ago
Death Comes In Many Forms 1 ago
Death Comes In Many Forms 2 ago
Death Comes In Many Forms 3 ago
Death Comes In Many Forms 4 ago
Death Comes In Many Forms 5 ago
Death Comes In Many Forms 6 ago
Eat And Grow 1 ago
Eat And Grow 2 ago
Eat And Grow 3 ago
Eat And Grow 4 ago
Eat And Grow 5 ago
Eat And Grow 6 ago
Eat And Grow 7 ago
Eat And Grow 8 ago
Eat And Grow 9 ago
Interlude - A Cheap Drink ago
Urges 1 ago
Urges 2 ago
Urges 3 ago
Urges 4 ago
Urges 5 ago
Urges 6 ago
Urges 7 ago
Urges 8 ago
Urges 9 ago
Urges 10 ago
Interlude - A little fisting goes a long way ago
Not a chapter - Q&A ago
Science!!! 1 ago
Science!!! 2 ago
Science!!! 3 ago
Science!!! 4 ago
Science!!! 5 ago
Science!!! 6 ago
Science!!! 7 ago
Science!!! 8 ago
Interlude - Justice demands retribution ago
Gainful Employment 1 ago
Gainful Employment 2 ago
Gainful Employment 3 ago
Gainful Employment 4 ago
Gainful Employment 5 ago
Gainful Employment 6 ago
Gainful Employment 7 ago
Gainful Employment 8 ago
Gainful Employment 9 ago
Interlude - That nagging feeling ago
Chaos 1 ago
Uncertainty 2 ago
Instability 3 ago
Fluctuation 4 ago
Unpredictability 5 ago
Chaos 6 ago
Chance 7 ago
Unforeseen Consequences 8 ago
Coincidences 9 ago
Randomness 10 ago
Volatility 11 ago
Interlude - The Shadow of Death ago
Unleashed 1 ago
Unleashed 2 ago
Unleashed 3 ago
Unleashed 4 ago
Unleashed 5 ago
Unleashed 6 ago
Unleashed 7 ago
Unleashed 8 ago
Unleashed 9 ago
Core Values 1 ago
Core Values 2 ago
Core Values 3 ago
Core Values 4 ago
Core Values 5 ago
Core Values 6 ago
Interlude - A Neighborly Chat ago
Death Comes In Many Shapes 1 ago
Death Comes In Many Shapes 2 ago
Death Comes In Many Shapes 3 ago
Death Comes In Many Shapes 4 ago
Death Comes In Many Shapes 5 ago
Death Comes In Many Shapes 6 ago
Death Comes In Many Shapes 7 ago
Interlude - An ASS out of U and ME ago
Moonlighting 1 ago
Moonlighting 2 ago
Moonlighting 3 ago
Moonlighting 4 ago
Moonlighting 5 ago
Moonlighting 6 ago
Moonlighting 7 ago
Moonlighting 8 ago
Interlude - Good news travels slowly. Bad news has wings. ago
All That Glitters 1 ago
All That Glitters 2 ago
All That Glitters 3 ago
All That Glitters 4 ago
All That Glitters 5 ago
All That Glitters 6 ago
All That Glitters 7 ago
All That Glitters 8 ago
All That Glitters 9 ago
Interlude - Stalking does not count as a long-distance relationship ago
Veni, Vidi, Edi 1 ago
Veni, Vidi, Edi 2 ago
Veni, Vidi, Edi 3 ago
Veni, Vidi, Edi 4 ago
Veni, Vidi, Edi 5 ago
Veni, Vidi, Edi 6 ago
Veni, Vidi, Edi 7 ago
Veni, Vidi, Edi 8 ago
Veni, Vidi, Edi 9 ago
Veni, Vidi, Edi 10 ago
Those Who Are Right 1 ago
Those Who Are Right 2 ago
Those Who Are Right 3 ago
Those Who Are Right 4 ago
Those Who Are Right 5 ago
Those Who Are Right 6 ago
Those Who Are Right 7 ago
Interlude - Barking Up The Wrong Tree ago
Not a chapter - Q&A with the author ago
Snow Day (April Fools chapter) ago
Those Who Are Left 1 ago
Those Who Are Left 2 ago
Those Who Are Left 3 ago
Those Who Are Left 4 ago
Those Who Are Left 5 ago
Those Who Are Left 6 ago
Those Who Are Left 7 ago
Not a chapter - Skill Compendium ago
Those Who Are Left 8 ago
Those Who Are Left 9 ago
Those Who Are Left 10 ago
Interlude - Once is an accident. Twice is coincidence. Three times - a pattern. ago
Hypocrisy 1 ago
Duality 2 ago
Ambiguity 3 ago
Duplicity 4 ago
Mockery 5 ago
Fraud 6 ago
Facade 7 ago
Not a chapter - ELLC World Map ago
Ambiguity 8 ago
Plausible Deniability 9 ago
Omission 10 ago
Underhandedness 11 ago
Subversion 12 ago
Deception 13 ago
Hypocrisy 14 ago
Hypocrisy 15 ago
Interlude - Happy Thoughts ago
Not a chapter - Art Gallery ago
A Hero's Burden 1 ago
A Hero's Burden 2 ago
A Hero's Burden 3 ago
A Hero's Burden 4 ago
A Hero's Burden 5 ago
A Hero's Burden 6 ago
A Hero's Burden 7 ago
A Hero's Burden 8 ago
A Hero's Burden 9 ago
A Hero's Burden 10 ago
Interlude - You Reap What You Sow ago
Upheaval 1 ago
Upheaval 2 ago
Upheaval 3 ago
Upheaval 4 ago
Upheaval 5 ago
Upheaval 6 ago
Upheaval 7 ago
Upheaval 8 ago
Upheaval 9 ago
Upheaval 10 ago
Upheaval 11 ago
Interlude - Another day at the office ago
Services Rendered 1 ago
Services Rendered 2 ago
Services Rendered 3 ago
Not a chapter - Q&A session ago
Services Rendered 4 ago
Services Rendered 5 ago
Not a chapter - A Mimic's hoard ago
Services Rendered 6 ago
Services Rendered 7 ago
Services Rendered 8 ago
Services Rendered 9 ago
Interlude - House Call ago
Winter's Bite 1 ago
Winter's Bite 2 ago
Winter's Bite 3 ago
Winter's Bite 4 ago
Winter's Bite 5 ago
Winter's Bite 6 ago
Winter's Bite 7 ago
Winter's Bite 8 ago
Not a chapter - Art Gallery 2: Electric Boogaloo ago
Winter's Bite 9 ago
Interlude - Professional Courtesy ago
Not a chapter - Best Girl Poll ago
Interlude - An Honest Review ago
Not a chapter - Kindle (re-) Release ago
Knowledge Is Power 1 ago
Knowledge Is Power 2 ago
Knowledge Is Power 3 ago
Knowledge Is Power 4 ago
Knowledge Is Power 5 ago
Knowledge Is Power 6 ago
Knowledge Is Power 7 ago
Knowledge Is Power 8 ago
Knowledge Is Power 9 ago
Knowledge Is Power 10 ago
Knowledge Is Power 11 ago
Interlude - Family Reunions Are Always Awkward ago
Year of the Chest 1 ago
Year of the Chest 2 ago
Year of the Chest 3 ago
Year of the Chest 4 ago
Year of the Chest 4 ½ ago
Year of the Chest 5 ago
Year of the Chest 6 ago
Year of the Chest 7 ago
Interlude - What Friends Are For ago
Mind Games 1 ago
Mind Games 2 ago
Mind Games 3 ago
Mind Games 4 ago
Mind Games 5 ago
Mind Games 6 ago
Interlude - Question Authority ago
Life, Luck, and Lemonade - Birthdays ago
Life, Luck, and Lemonade - Loose Ends ago
Life, Luck, and Lemonade - Blood Money ago
Life, Luck, and Lemonade - Nightmares ago
Life, Luck, and Lemonade - Problems and Solutions ago
Life, Luck, and Lemonade - Forward Thinking ago
Not a Chapter - Amazon book stuff ago
Life, Luck, and Lemonade - Fun & Games ago
Life, Luck, and Lemonade - Stress Kills ago
Life, Luck, and Lemonade - Lemons ago
Life, Luck, and Lemonade - Of Plants and Plots ago
Green Tide 1 ago
Green Tide 2 ago
Not a Chapter - Announcement + Q&A with the author ago
Green Tide 3 ago
Green Tide 4 ago
Green Tide 5 ago
Green Tide 6 ago
Green Tide 7 ago
Interlude - Another Satisfied Customer ago
Birds Of A Feather 1 ago
Birds Of A Feather 2 ago
Birds Of A Feather 3 ago
Birds Of A Feather 4 ago
Birds Of A Feather 5 ago
Birds Of A Feather 6 ago
Birds Of A Feather 7 ago
Birds Of A Feather 8 ago
Interlude - Fish Out of Water ago
Questionable Origins 1 ago
Questionable Origins 2 ago
Questionable Origins 3 ago
Not a Chapter - Fanart Dump ago
Questionable Origins 4 ago
Questionable Origins 5 ago
Questionable Origins 6 ago
Questionable Origins 7 ago
Questionable Origins 8 ago
Questionable Origins 9 ago
Questionable Origins 10 ago
Questionable Origins 11 ago
Interlude - Greed Is Good ago
Not a Chapter - Best Girl Poll 2 ago
Cloak and Dagger 1 ago
Cloak and Dagger 2 ago
Not a Chapter - Few Small Announcements ago
Cloak and Dagger 3 ago
Cloak and Dagger 4 ago
Cloak and Dagger 5 ago
Cloak and Dagger 6 ago
Interlude - Money Talks ago
Connections 1 ago
Connections 2 ago
Connections 3 ago
Connections 4 ago
Connections 5 ago
Connections 6 ago
Connections 7 ago
Connections 8 ago
Interlude - Guardian Angel ago
Not a Chapter - New Art ago
Legacy 1 ago
Legacy 2 ago
Not a Chapter - ELLC Volume 3 is now live on Kindle ago
Legacy 3 ago
Legacy 4 ago
Legacy 5 ago
Legacy 6 ago
Legacy 7 ago
Legacy 8 ago
Interlude - Thicker Than Water ago
What Lies Below 1 ago
What Lies Below 2 ago
What Lies Below 3 ago
What Lies Below 4 ago
Not a chapter - Season's Greetings ago
What Lies Below 5 ago
What Lies Below 6 ago
What Lies Below 7 ago
What Lies Below 8 ago
Interlude - Business As Usual ago
Interlude - Rule of Threes ago
The Mask Falls 1 ago
The Mask Falls 2 ago
The Mask Falls 3 ago
The Mask Falls 4 ago
Interlude - A Day to Remember ago
Not a chapter - Going on break + Author Q&A Part 5: The Empire Strikes Back ago
Reviews

Leave a review

rafeling
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I hate pornographic story's so I kept skipping this one,  but eventually I got curious about it's high rating an decided to check out the first chapter. you fucking troll. tongue-out

Lord Joyde
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I was sent here by one of my own readers who told me this story fits a criteria alike to my own when it comes to Sheer Insanity.

I was skeptical at first, but I've been proven wrong! :D

And now, ahem, let's give it a stellar review!

Style - Dances around the first and third person, making me think of it being narrated by Morgan Freeman for whatever reason. Which is a good thing, yeah!

Grammar - I didn't find a single mistake. No improper word usage, no spelling errors, nothing. All stars!

Story - While I would've loved it more if the author decided not to place that last "Blue Screen" of the very first chapter in order to further confuse the reader and eventually result in joyous realizations, the story has surpassed my expectations in every other way possible!

Character - I iz riturd box wit teeth. Ah, I klld sumtingz, I can speak now.

(I think the character is awesome :D)

Eyez11
  • Overall Score

Title lured me in.

Prologue trapped me.

Escaped by reading all the chapters.

Bravo. '-' Slow claps

Jukonon
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Filler, Filler, Filler

So why am I writing a 3-star review for one of the most beloved fics on this site? Well, looks like I am not like most others. But let me elaborate. Spoilers ahead.

The first arc of the story (book 1) up to the calamity is wonderful. Non-human lead, original plot, original character, I remember laughing my ass off during the break out from the dungeon. The first arc deserves honest 5 stars without a question. Sadly the rest of the story is not as good.

The second arc, hiding in the city, meeting the god of chaos, was still good, there was less originality, less to laugh about etc. but it was still better than most of what's on this site. In my opinion, it's an important part of the story, as many future characters, places and story arcs are introduced. as such, I can overlook some weak points. At this place, it was still a very enjoyable story.

The point where everything goes wrong in my opinion is the evolution to shapeshifter. The mc is now able to disguise and can't be discovered in addition to his ability as a gods chosen, which conveniently lets him hide his status. Up to this point, I was gripped with excitement, curious how a man-eating box is going to survive and thrive. Afterwards, I was just like: shapeshifter + divine ability to hide status as monster = easy peasy. It was not something that broke the story, but it certainly made it less. And while it was not something terrible, it set the path for some poor decisions on the authors part (at least in my opinion).

Next arc? Moving to Azurvale, fighting a war. I actually liked this part too. It lacked the humor of the first arc, but it's hard to be witty constantly. I am not a very witty person, I should know. There was some worldbuilding, some action overall a good addition to the story. BUT something becomes apparent during this arc, how op the mc actually is. It kills a level 100 warlock, with some luck and cheating, but still, it kills a ranker, an individual many levels above him in a frontal confrontation.

The author notices how op the mc has become and begins to nerf him. The principle of "power creep" is introduced. Getting too strong too quickly has repercussion the mc now experiences. But how did the mc get so overpowered in the first place? Well, the author gave him a very broken ability which lets him consume dead people and get some random skills or attributes of them. Obviously very broken. So the mc now stops using this ability as wells as going to some lengths to reduce his attributes. This takes care of this obvious mistake, but it still feels like a blemish on the story. It's something the author didn't foresee and had to fix.

The Foundation arc was actually pretty cool, no questions asked. But whatever happened to the story afterwards? Filler chapter next to filler chapter. Yes, the world gets expanded massively, new people, a new continent, new characters, but most things that happened since the war or the Foundation incident or the elimination of the Gilded Hand has no bearing on the actual story. It's just there and get's forgotten immediately afterwards.

There is one VERY obvious problem with this story and I already hinted at it. The author did not plan his story out when he started writing. My guess is, that arc one: the dungeon, the breakout, the hunt, the calamity, was planned and worked out in the authors' mind before he even began writing this story, everything afterward he probably made up on the fly when he noticed the approval he was getting for his story.

How does this lack of planning show in the story? What are my clues? Well, overpowered ability of the mc to consume skills and attributes. If you follow the logical conclusion of this ability, it is clear, that it has to be nerfed somehow. Maybe through a timer, a severe cost, if you want even through power creep. But you have to introduce it before it gets relevant. Yes, of course, a sentient box in a dungeon won't know about power creep, but it could have heard of it during his many forays into civilization during the story. Introducing this convenient nerf after it got apparent, that the mc is op was not well done.

So what else? Places. Places appear when they are needed for the story, not only places whole races and cultures are introduced willy-nilly, even though they never have even been mentioned. Somewhere in a few thousand pages, someone somewhere should have talked about the Nosferatu race before it suddenly got introduced, same about the lizards, giants etc.

That's actually the real problem: Brandon Sanderson compared world building to an iceberg. There is something to see, but the bulk of the worldbuilding is underwater and will only be seen through glimpses in the story. Your story is not like that. you start out with an extremely small iceberg which we can only see from one side (which is good! a sentient box wouldn't know anything about the world). What you should do now is gently introduce new concepts, people and places. Show us, that the iceberg has other sides and is actually much bigger than we assumed, show us, that there is something beneath the water. Well, it's not what happens. Yes, the iceberg get's bigger but it's not gently. There is Monotal, oh hey, did you know, that it's part of the Human Empire, there is also Elves to the north and dwarves to the east. Rest of the world? Nonexistent till it's convenient. Oh btw, there are also Animal-People. Oh and Nosferatu who actually reigned over the whole continent for a very long time but have never been mentioned before. There are Giants too! And a big bad Necromancer who is probably going to be the end boss. Yeah, also, there are other continents. Their names? Uhhhh.... Southern Continent, Eastern Co.... Really?

We start out with this small iceberg and you show us every facet of it, then you smash a second iceberg onto your existing one to expand the world and you do it over and over. Not only that, there actually is no iceberg beneath the water. The world is dead, static. There exist only those parts which further the immediate story.

This has seriously turned out longer and way meaner than I intended, for that I am sorry. This story is still one of the best stories on this site, but it has some very big flaws, at least for me. The first arc is one of the best pieces of fiction I ever read, no lies. You obviously can write, an well at that, but what I think of at least as a lack of planning on your part, made this story less enjoyable.

So why do I read this still after more than 2 years? First, I want to know where it goes. As I said, it's not a bad story, just a good story with flaws. It got me fixed.

So when I think it's actually a good story, why only 3 stars? Well, ratings a skewed, everybody either gives 5 or 0 stars, rarely anything in between. For me personally, this is a 3-star story, not only for Royalroad, but for Fantasy/LitRPG as a whole. It's enjoyable, with big flaws. Most Royalroad stories would be a 0 for me. Books in "Trending" or the later pages of "Best" would be a 2 for me. Some very few stories on this page get a 4 in my book: "Mother of Learning", "Threadbare", "Grad Design". They also had way fewer pages to fuck up though. 4 stars for me would be a good book with maybe small flaws, think of "The First Law", "Mistborn" or similar. 5 stars would be masterworks "Stormlight Archives", "Wheel of Time", some books of "TSOIAF".

With this we end our review, sorry again for being so strict, please don't hate me.

Neydomus
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i am willingly trapped, ok?

fist you see the girl, then the title, and then the yellow "Warning" about sexual content.

doesnt take a genius to understand what this fiction is all about right? 

well you would be wrong then.

-----------

a splendid trap, to ensnare the readers.

then the perfect storytelling will simply not let you go.

*clap clap clap* 

im ashamed for getting caught so easily, but i dont regret it!

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Style - definetely 5* its one of the best ive seen, and while my memory isnt all that good, i still remember the best ones.

 

Story - not much yet, but you can see its heading in a good direction, so ill keep it at 5* since i like it.

 

Grammar - good, normally a 4*, but considering where we are reading this, ill give it a solid 5*

 

Character - ... i have no words to describe how amazing the MC is, so ill just plop a 5*

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now on to the bad things... yes, amazingly there are bad things:

1. There is a "Harem" tag, it honestly disturbs me, not to mention his brother "Secret Identity" tag, and you can sorta see where it will be going. Hopefully not to shittyvile.

thats it really, and if you actually read everything i just typed, then you get a cookie.

admira
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I was hesitant to read this at first, because of the title and description. I thought, 'Oh, not one of those." But it was reasonably popular, so I wanted to see how the grammar was. I decided to take a peek at the interlude...

...and I was floored. Just to be sure, I read the next chapter. And then I went back to the very first chapter and read them all.

Seriously, what a beautiful trap. It really tickles my inner devious bastard. My only worry is that others who share my tastes might miss out--but then again, it might be worth it with the number of poor fools who get sucked in by the misdirection.

 

To the author:

I especially like how you manage to keep a sense of distance between the main character and others, without giving into the temptation of making him too "normal" (by normal human standards) too quickly. Slow and steady wins the character development race.

I found this to be comparable to The Iron Teeth in enjoyment factor (as far as my preferences go, at least). I'm looking forward to future updates.

Jade Dragon
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Ok, this is easily a "tale of two stories", on one hand the author has shown off some amazing talent and really woven together an interesting LitRPG story (much harder then it seems folks, as most of the LitRPG stories out there are painful to ready).  I actually loved the first 10 chapters or so of this story.

My problems with it showed up later.  Later whole chapters are devoted to scenes which if animated or drawn would definitely be considered hentai.  Now one of my big problems with LitRPG is how the quest for levels and status boxes seem to overshadow pretty much any plot development and take all the momentum in the story.  This is not a problem in this book.  Instead we get chapters and chapters piled on top of chapters of hard core sex and or boarder line to outright hentai style rape, with some light plot poking its way out from time to time.  Now I'm no prude, I'm able to read raunchy sexual stories just fine.  I'm even able to write them if I have to.  But I do have a problem with it when it damages the plot and flow of the story.  

Sometimes you just got to keep some of it happening off screen in the interest of the plot.

OVERALL: 4.0/5.0 – I had to take off a whole star thanks to how much the sex overwhelms the rest of the story at time (long stretches even).  That said, this author has a great sense of humor, and is writing a very creative and fun story. 

STYLE: 4.5/5.0 – this is written in the 3rd person and occasionally a 1st person view.  Overall it flows smoothly, no real issues; The author is a strong technical writer.

GRAMMAR: 5.0/5.0 – good use of the English language, strong vocabulary, the structure of the writing is simple, but overall this is a well written story.

STORY: 2.5/5.0 – there is little to no discernable plot for large swaths of the story as the MC blithely powerlevels and we get a bunch of sex on screen.  When the story breaks away from powerleveling (always the weakest point of a LitRPG story) and all the eros, an interested plot usually takes shape that can hold the reader’s attention (as evidence the assault on the dungeon arc, or the recent arc starting with the electric cage).  However outside of those brief story arcs I found myself skipping chapters of walls of text describing one lewd sexual act after another, or some mind-numbing grinding.  Sometimes it’s just better to do a time skip or three.

CHARACTER: 5.0/5.0 – Overall the characters are what kept me coming back, not the plot, but the characters, as I found myself rather interested in the story about the MC, and a number of the small side stories about other characters as well. 

JustToReview
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If you think gratuitous amounts of sex and violence are substitute for world building, character development and plot, this is the novel for you.

Spoiler: Spoiler

 

 

mcdeathcore
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Great start (dropped at chaos 6)

Great novel in the beginning and it does some things amazingly well.

1. I haven't seen such an uncaring and callous character done so well.

2. the demons are the most demonic that I have seen also. (most authors simply have the demons as one-sided baby eaters and stop at that)

3. The interesting magic system along with decent world building. (along with half decent descriptions)

4. an amusing sense of humor at the start of the novel. (which vanished once the girls arrived and in its place was sex scenes but whatever)

However I dropped it after the Mc became a puppet, plot armor kicked everything in the face with literal Deus ex machina, and tropes started coming out the ass. 

Give it a read and see if it's to your taste, but be warned it may not be to your taste sooner or later. 

Serapheid
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The author, I believe, is a magician of writing.

Skillful in the art of misdirection and manipulation, what I thought was probably a story similar to DanMachi based on the title and synopsis was actually quite different but truly quite fun and unique.

With only a very few grammar slips here and there (like an incorrect word within one out of 3 chaps, so it's incredibly minor), if you don't don't mind gratuitous gore, sex, and cursing, then this story is quite the interesting and unpredictable read.