Everybody Loves Large Chests

Everybody Loves Large Chests

by Exterminatus

Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity
  • Sexual Content

Everybody Loves Large Chests is now available on Amazon and Audible! Featuring lots of editorial love and a more enjoyable reading/listening experience!

Large chests are said to encompass all manner of hopes and dreams. Men covet them. Women envy them. But one fact holds true - everyone wants to get their hands on some big ones.

The same holds true for one intrepid adventurer - a strapping young lad by the name of Himmel. Armed with his grandfather’s trusty longsword and the dream of being the strongest, he sets out on the journey of a lifetime! It is sure to be a long and dangerous road, fraught with danger! And it all starts with a simple test - reach Level 5 in the dungeon called the ‘newbie zone’ and earn the right to become a full-fledged adventurer!

However, such things get hopelessly derailed when his adolescent mind beholds an exposed chest for the first time. A fateful meeting that would inevitably lead his life in a direction he never even dreamed of!

This fiction is written, maintained and owned by Neven Iliev. It is also a participant of the WriTEr's pledge.

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Exterminatus

Exterminatus

Chestiest Chest That Ever Chested

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Table of Contents
348 Chapters
Chapter Name Release Date
Prologue ago
Death Comes In Many Forms 1 ago
Death Comes In Many Forms 2 ago
Death Comes In Many Forms 3 ago
Death Comes In Many Forms 4 ago
Death Comes In Many Forms 5 ago
Death Comes In Many Forms 6 ago
Eat And Grow 1 ago
Eat And Grow 2 ago
Eat And Grow 3 ago
Eat And Grow 4 ago
Eat And Grow 5 ago
Eat And Grow 6 ago
Eat And Grow 7 ago
Eat And Grow 8 ago
Eat And Grow 9 ago
Interlude - A Cheap Drink ago
Urges 1 ago
Urges 2 ago
Urges 3 ago
Urges 4 ago
Urges 5 ago
Urges 6 ago
Urges 7 ago
Urges 8 ago
Urges 9 ago
Urges 10 ago
Interlude - A little fisting goes a long way ago
Not a chapter - Q&A ago
Science!!! 1 ago
Science!!! 2 ago
Science!!! 3 ago
Science!!! 4 ago
Science!!! 5 ago
Science!!! 6 ago
Science!!! 7 ago
Science!!! 8 ago
Interlude - Justice demands retribution ago
Gainful Employment 1 ago
Gainful Employment 2 ago
Gainful Employment 3 ago
Gainful Employment 4 ago
Gainful Employment 5 ago
Gainful Employment 6 ago
Gainful Employment 7 ago
Gainful Employment 8 ago
Gainful Employment 9 ago
Interlude - That nagging feeling ago
Chaos 1 ago
Uncertainty 2 ago
Instability 3 ago
Fluctuation 4 ago
Unpredictability 5 ago
Chaos 6 ago
Chance 7 ago
Unforeseen Consequences 8 ago
Coincidences 9 ago
Randomness 10 ago
Volatility 11 ago
Interlude - The Shadow of Death ago
Unleashed 1 ago
Unleashed 2 ago
Unleashed 3 ago
Unleashed 4 ago
Unleashed 5 ago
Unleashed 6 ago
Unleashed 7 ago
Unleashed 8 ago
Unleashed 9 ago
Core Values 1 ago
Core Values 2 ago
Core Values 3 ago
Core Values 4 ago
Core Values 5 ago
Core Values 6 ago
Interlude - A Neighborly Chat ago
Death Comes In Many Shapes 1 ago
Death Comes In Many Shapes 2 ago
Death Comes In Many Shapes 3 ago
Death Comes In Many Shapes 4 ago
Death Comes In Many Shapes 5 ago
Death Comes In Many Shapes 6 ago
Death Comes In Many Shapes 7 ago
Interlude - An ASS out of U and ME ago
Moonlighting 1 ago
Moonlighting 2 ago
Moonlighting 3 ago
Moonlighting 4 ago
Moonlighting 5 ago
Moonlighting 6 ago
Moonlighting 7 ago
Moonlighting 8 ago
Interlude - Good news travels slowly. Bad news has wings. ago
All That Glitters 1 ago
All That Glitters 2 ago
All That Glitters 3 ago
All That Glitters 4 ago
All That Glitters 5 ago
All That Glitters 6 ago
All That Glitters 7 ago
All That Glitters 8 ago
All That Glitters 9 ago
Interlude - Stalking does not count as a long-distance relationship ago
Veni, Vidi, Edi 1 ago
Veni, Vidi, Edi 2 ago
Veni, Vidi, Edi 3 ago
Veni, Vidi, Edi 4 ago
Veni, Vidi, Edi 5 ago
Veni, Vidi, Edi 6 ago
Veni, Vidi, Edi 7 ago
Veni, Vidi, Edi 8 ago
Veni, Vidi, Edi 9 ago
Veni, Vidi, Edi 10 ago
Those Who Are Right 1 ago
Those Who Are Right 2 ago
Those Who Are Right 3 ago
Those Who Are Right 4 ago
Those Who Are Right 5 ago
Those Who Are Right 6 ago
Those Who Are Right 7 ago
Interlude - Barking Up The Wrong Tree ago
Not a chapter - Q&A with the author ago
Snow Day (April Fools chapter) ago
Those Who Are Left 1 ago
Those Who Are Left 2 ago
Those Who Are Left 3 ago
Those Who Are Left 4 ago
Those Who Are Left 5 ago
Those Who Are Left 6 ago
Those Who Are Left 7 ago
Not a chapter - Skill Compendium ago
Those Who Are Left 8 ago
Those Who Are Left 9 ago
Those Who Are Left 10 ago
Interlude - Once is an accident. Twice is coincidence. Three times - a pattern. ago
Hypocrisy 1 ago
Duality 2 ago
Ambiguity 3 ago
Duplicity 4 ago
Mockery 5 ago
Fraud 6 ago
Facade 7 ago
Not a chapter - ELLC World Map ago
Ambiguity 8 ago
Plausible Deniability 9 ago
Omission 10 ago
Underhandedness 11 ago
Subversion 12 ago
Deception 13 ago
Hypocrisy 14 ago
Hypocrisy 15 ago
Interlude - Happy Thoughts ago
Not a chapter - Art Gallery ago
A Hero's Burden 1 ago
A Hero's Burden 2 ago
A Hero's Burden 3 ago
A Hero's Burden 4 ago
A Hero's Burden 5 ago
A Hero's Burden 6 ago
A Hero's Burden 7 ago
A Hero's Burden 8 ago
A Hero's Burden 9 ago
A Hero's Burden 10 ago
Interlude - You Reap What You Sow ago
Upheaval 1 ago
Upheaval 2 ago
Upheaval 3 ago
Upheaval 4 ago
Upheaval 5 ago
Upheaval 6 ago
Upheaval 7 ago
Upheaval 8 ago
Upheaval 9 ago
Upheaval 10 ago
Upheaval 11 ago
Interlude - Another day at the office ago
Services Rendered 1 ago
Services Rendered 2 ago
Services Rendered 3 ago
Not a chapter - Q&A session ago
Services Rendered 4 ago
Services Rendered 5 ago
Not a chapter - A Mimic's hoard ago
Services Rendered 6 ago
Services Rendered 7 ago
Services Rendered 8 ago
Services Rendered 9 ago
Interlude - House Call ago
Winter's Bite 1 ago
Winter's Bite 2 ago
Winter's Bite 3 ago
Winter's Bite 4 ago
Winter's Bite 5 ago
Winter's Bite 6 ago
Winter's Bite 7 ago
Winter's Bite 8 ago
Not a chapter - Art Gallery 2: Electric Boogaloo ago
Winter's Bite 9 ago
Interlude - Professional Courtesy ago
Not a chapter - Best Girl Poll ago
Interlude - An Honest Review ago
Not a chapter - Kindle (re-) Release ago
Knowledge Is Power 1 ago
Knowledge Is Power 2 ago
Knowledge Is Power 3 ago
Knowledge Is Power 4 ago
Knowledge Is Power 5 ago
Knowledge Is Power 6 ago
Knowledge Is Power 7 ago
Knowledge Is Power 8 ago
Knowledge Is Power 9 ago
Knowledge Is Power 10 ago
Knowledge Is Power 11 ago
Interlude - Family Reunions Are Always Awkward ago
Year of the Chest 1 ago
Year of the Chest 2 ago
Year of the Chest 3 ago
Year of the Chest 4 ago
Year of the Chest 4 ½ ago
Year of the Chest 5 ago
Year of the Chest 6 ago
Year of the Chest 7 ago
Interlude - What Friends Are For ago
Mind Games 1 ago
Mind Games 2 ago
Mind Games 3 ago
Mind Games 4 ago
Mind Games 5 ago
Mind Games 6 ago
Interlude - Question Authority ago
Life, Luck, and Lemonade - Birthdays ago
Life, Luck, and Lemonade - Loose Ends ago
Life, Luck, and Lemonade - Blood Money ago
Life, Luck, and Lemonade - Nightmares ago
Life, Luck, and Lemonade - Problems and Solutions ago
Life, Luck, and Lemonade - Forward Thinking ago
Not a Chapter - Amazon book stuff ago
Life, Luck, and Lemonade - Fun & Games ago
Life, Luck, and Lemonade - Stress Kills ago
Life, Luck, and Lemonade - Lemons ago
Life, Luck, and Lemonade - Of Plants and Plots ago
Green Tide 1 ago
Green Tide 2 ago
Not a Chapter - Announcement + Q&A with the author ago
Green Tide 3 ago
Green Tide 4 ago
Green Tide 5 ago
Green Tide 6 ago
Green Tide 7 ago
Interlude - Another Satisfied Customer ago
Birds Of A Feather 1 ago
Birds Of A Feather 2 ago
Birds Of A Feather 3 ago
Birds Of A Feather 4 ago
Birds Of A Feather 5 ago
Birds Of A Feather 6 ago
Birds Of A Feather 7 ago
Birds Of A Feather 8 ago
Interlude - Fish Out of Water ago
Questionable Origins 1 ago
Questionable Origins 2 ago
Questionable Origins 3 ago
Not a Chapter - Fanart Dump ago
Questionable Origins 4 ago
Questionable Origins 5 ago
Questionable Origins 6 ago
Questionable Origins 7 ago
Questionable Origins 8 ago
Questionable Origins 9 ago
Questionable Origins 10 ago
Questionable Origins 11 ago
Interlude - Greed Is Good ago
Not a Chapter - Best Girl Poll 2 ago
Cloak and Dagger 1 ago
Cloak and Dagger 2 ago
Not a Chapter - Few Small Announcements ago
Cloak and Dagger 3 ago
Cloak and Dagger 4 ago
Cloak and Dagger 5 ago
Cloak and Dagger 6 ago
Interlude - Money Talks ago
Connections 1 ago
Connections 2 ago
Connections 3 ago
Connections 4 ago
Connections 5 ago
Connections 6 ago
Connections 7 ago
Connections 8 ago
Interlude - Guardian Angel ago
Not a Chapter - New Art ago
Legacy 1 ago
Legacy 2 ago
Not a Chapter - ELLC Volume 3 is now live on Kindle ago
Legacy 3 ago
Legacy 4 ago
Legacy 5 ago
Legacy 6 ago
Legacy 7 ago
Legacy 8 ago
Interlude - Thicker Than Water ago
What Lies Below 1 ago
What Lies Below 2 ago
What Lies Below 3 ago
What Lies Below 4 ago
Not a chapter - Season's Greetings ago
What Lies Below 5 ago
What Lies Below 6 ago
What Lies Below 7 ago
What Lies Below 8 ago
Interlude - Business As Usual ago
Interlude - Rule of Threes ago
The Mask Falls 1 ago
The Mask Falls 2 ago
The Mask Falls 3 ago
The Mask Falls 4 ago
Interlude - A Day to Remember ago
Not a chapter - Going on break + Author Q&A Part 5: The Empire Strikes Back ago
Greater Heights 1 ago
Greater Heights 2 ago
Greater Heights 3 ago
Greater Heights 4 ago
Greater Heights 5 ago
Not a chapter - Volume 4, Announcements, and fanart ago
Greater Heights 6 ago
Greater Heights 7 ago
Interlude - The Echo of Lies ago
Expanded Normality 1 ago
Expanded Normality 2 ago
Expanded Normality 3 ago
Expanded Normality 4 ago
Expanded Normality 5 ago
Interlude - Off-Season ago
A Whole New World 1 ago
A Whole New World 2 ago
A Whole New World 3 ago
A Whole New World 4 ago
A Whole New World 5 ago
A Whole New World 6 ago
A Whole New World 7 ago
A Whole New World 8 ago
A Whole New World 9 ago
With Strings Cut 1 ago
With Strings Cut 2 ago
With Strings Cut 3 ago
With Strings Cut 4 ago
With Strings Cut 5 ago
Afterword and Q&A ago

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Reviews
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rafeling
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

I hate pornographic story's so I kept skipping this one,  but eventually I got curious about it's high rating an decided to check out the first chapter. you fucking troll. tongue-out

Jukonon
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Filler, Filler, Filler

So why am I writing a 3-star review for one of the most beloved fics on this site? Well, looks like I am not like most others. But let me elaborate. Spoilers ahead.

The first arc of the story (book 1) up to the calamity is wonderful. Non-human lead, original plot, original character, I remember laughing my ass off during the break out from the dungeon. The first arc deserves honest 5 stars without a question. Sadly the rest of the story is not as good.

The second arc, hiding in the city, meeting the god of chaos, was still good, there was less originality, less to laugh about etc. but it was still better than most of what's on this site. In my opinion, it's an important part of the story, as many future characters, places and story arcs are introduced. as such, I can overlook some weak points. At this place, it was still a very enjoyable story.

The point where everything goes wrong in my opinion is the evolution to shapeshifter. The mc is now able to disguise and can't be discovered in addition to his ability as a gods chosen, which conveniently lets him hide his status. Up to this point, I was gripped with excitement, curious how a man-eating box is going to survive and thrive. Afterwards, I was just like: shapeshifter + divine ability to hide status as monster = easy peasy. It was not something that broke the story, but it certainly made it less. And while it was not something terrible, it set the path for some poor decisions on the authors part (at least in my opinion).

Next arc? Moving to Azurvale, fighting a war. I actually liked this part too. It lacked the humor of the first arc, but it's hard to be witty constantly. I am not a very witty person, I should know. There was some worldbuilding, some action overall a good addition to the story. BUT something becomes apparent during this arc, how op the mc actually is. It kills a level 100 warlock, with some luck and cheating, but still, it kills a ranker, an individual many levels above him in a frontal confrontation.

The author notices how op the mc has become and begins to nerf him. The principle of "power creep" is introduced. Getting too strong too quickly has repercussion the mc now experiences. But how did the mc get so overpowered in the first place? Well, the author gave him a very broken ability which lets him consume dead people and get some random skills or attributes of them. Obviously very broken. So the mc now stops using this ability as wells as going to some lengths to reduce his attributes. This takes care of this obvious mistake, but it still feels like a blemish on the story. It's something the author didn't foresee and had to fix.

The Foundation arc was actually pretty cool, no questions asked. But whatever happened to the story afterwards? Filler chapter next to filler chapter. Yes, the world gets expanded massively, new people, a new continent, new characters, but most things that happened since the war or the Foundation incident or the elimination of the Gilded Hand has no bearing on the actual story. It's just there and get's forgotten immediately afterwards.

There is one VERY obvious problem with this story and I already hinted at it. The author did not plan his story out when he started writing. My guess is, that arc one: the dungeon, the breakout, the hunt, the calamity, was planned and worked out in the authors' mind before he even began writing this story, everything afterward he probably made up on the fly when he noticed the approval he was getting for his story.

How does this lack of planning show in the story? What are my clues? Well, overpowered ability of the mc to consume skills and attributes. If you follow the logical conclusion of this ability, it is clear, that it has to be nerfed somehow. Maybe through a timer, a severe cost, if you want even through power creep. But you have to introduce it before it gets relevant. Yes, of course, a sentient box in a dungeon won't know about power creep, but it could have heard of it during his many forays into civilization during the story. Introducing this convenient nerf after it got apparent, that the mc is op was not well done.

So what else? Places. Places appear when they are needed for the story, not only places whole races and cultures are introduced willy-nilly, even though they never have even been mentioned. Somewhere in a few thousand pages, someone somewhere should have talked about the Nosferatu race before it suddenly got introduced, same about the lizards, giants etc.

That's actually the real problem: Brandon Sanderson compared world building to an iceberg. There is something to see, but the bulk of the worldbuilding is underwater and will only be seen through glimpses in the story. Your story is not like that. you start out with an extremely small iceberg which we can only see from one side (which is good! a sentient box wouldn't know anything about the world). What you should do now is gently introduce new concepts, people and places. Show us, that the iceberg has other sides and is actually much bigger than we assumed, show us, that there is something beneath the water. Well, it's not what happens. Yes, the iceberg get's bigger but it's not gently. There is Monotal, oh hey, did you know, that it's part of the Human Empire, there is also Elves to the north and dwarves to the east. Rest of the world? Nonexistent till it's convenient. Oh btw, there are also Animal-People. Oh and Nosferatu who actually reigned over the whole continent for a very long time but have never been mentioned before. There are Giants too! And a big bad Necromancer who is probably going to be the end boss. Yeah, also, there are other continents. Their names? Uhhhh.... Southern Continent, Eastern Co.... Really?

We start out with this small iceberg and you show us every facet of it, then you smash a second iceberg onto your existing one to expand the world and you do it over and over. Not only that, there actually is no iceberg beneath the water. The world is dead, static. There exist only those parts which further the immediate story.

This has seriously turned out longer and way meaner than I intended, for that I am sorry. This story is still one of the best stories on this site, but it has some very big flaws, at least for me. The first arc is one of the best pieces of fiction I ever read, no lies. You obviously can write, an well at that, but what I think of at least as a lack of planning on your part, made this story less enjoyable.

So why do I read this still after more than 2 years? First, I want to know where it goes. As I said, it's not a bad story, just a good story with flaws. It got me fixed.

So when I think it's actually a good story, why only 3 stars? Well, ratings a skewed, everybody either gives 5 or 0 stars, rarely anything in between. For me personally, this is a 3-star story, not only for Royalroad, but for Fantasy/LitRPG as a whole. It's enjoyable, with big flaws. Most Royalroad stories would be a 0 for me. Books in "Trending" or the later pages of "Best" would be a 2 for me. Some very few stories on this page get a 4 in my book: "Mother of Learning", "Threadbare", "Grad Design". They also had way fewer pages to fuck up though. 4 stars for me would be a good book with maybe small flaws, think of "The First Law", "Mistborn" or similar. 5 stars would be masterworks "Stormlight Archives", "Wheel of Time", some books of "TSOIAF".

With this we end our review, sorry again for being so strict, please don't hate me.

Ferrisbewley
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Great story with a very badly rushed ending.

Reviewed at: Afterword and Q&A

The only thing i can say about everybody large chests is that if you want a satisfying ending don't read this story. However the journey to that ending is a 9/10 comedy/adventure web novel. Only in the last 3-4 arcs of ELLC does the author burn out and rush things to just finish, ruining not only the story but the prospect of all of the storys branching off of this one such as Small chests are fine too.

If you really want to save yourself a lot of pain stop at the arc titled Legacy. The author makes a huge mistake in the plot, invalidating most of the story aswell as using a massive time skip to just end the story. He even explains his burnout in some of the earlier chapters and you can really tell that hes not on his A game in the later fourth of the novel.

The style of ELLC is amazing, the mc is a heartless monster with no redeeming qualities. Its a perfect blend of dark content with comedy ( with a healthy dose of sexual content to boot) 4/5.

The story is a 5/5 until you get towards the ending as i have explained previously. If you want a example of what im talking about with why its so bad here is a basic rundown of what the ending is like.

The main mc is told he is a npc in a video game, making all of his hard work fairly meaningless, the world we've been learning about turns out to completly fake. He then kills off most of the important characters off screen and then time skips to end the story where we get the epilogue of only 4 characters out of the cast of several dozen important people.

Personaly i really hate it when a entire story is invalidated by a single chapter. But who knows, maybe if your reaaaaally into vr mmo storys you might be okay with it.

The grammar is pretty much flawless throughout the entire novel so 5/5 just for that.

The characters of ELLC vary from great to only slightly annoying. In my book having no characters that the reader doesn't hate is a huge win. However i still think a few of the "Antagonists" are pretty weakly written so 4.5/5.

I would give ELLC a 4.8/5, but as i cant really say the story is finished i have to lower it to a 3/5. Id really love to see a rewrite of the last few arcs when the author has more time.

 

Lord Joyde
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

I was sent here by one of my own readers who told me this story fits a criteria alike to my own when it comes to Sheer Insanity.

I was skeptical at first, but I've been proven wrong! :D

And now, ahem, let's give it a stellar review!

Style - Dances around the first and third person, making me think of it being narrated by Morgan Freeman for whatever reason. Which is a good thing, yeah!

Grammar - I didn't find a single mistake. No improper word usage, no spelling errors, nothing. All stars!

Story - While I would've loved it more if the author decided not to place that last "Blue Screen" of the very first chapter in order to further confuse the reader and eventually result in joyous realizations, the story has surpassed my expectations in every other way possible!

Character - I iz riturd box wit teeth. Ah, I klld sumtingz, I can speak now.

(I think the character is awesome :D)

jklm
Overall

It's pretty much what it says on the tin. It's interesting, and the twist in the beginning with the main character is great. It's definitely humorous and the main character is a fun mix of idiotic and clever at the same time.

But it's also very much an explicit ero story with lots of boobs (don't let reviews that imply otherwise fool you). Every character is essentially a pervert, especially the female characters. You've got tits, bestiality, and masochism galore. 

It's not impossible to find enjoyment in the story outside of that, but it is heavily present in the tone and content. Honestly, I think the story would be a lot better without it, but I acknowledge that it aims to please a certain audience that just isn't me. 

Eventually I found it was getting harder to skim past what I didn't like, so I have stopped reading. I might pick it up again someday, but I think it's just not for me.

Fleza
Overall

Overall Good but a Disappointing Finish

Reviewed at: Afterword and Q&A

I liked a lot about this story. The concept was interesting, the characters each had their thing, and I felt that the world, for the most part, grew accordingly. I personally feel that the sexual content was unnecessary or overdone, but that's me.

I couldn't stop reading this, and got really invested in what was happening. Then it just... ended. Now I love a good 'years later' part to a good story, but that comes after the main tale is complete. And here I was ready to read that final bit of the story, and it wasn't there. The setup for the finale was made, but not capitalized on. It just skipped straight to the 'years later.' In the words of the MC, it was 'very un-tasty.'

Overall, give this work a read. Don't think too hard about it and it's an enjoyable page turner. Just be prepared for a jarring ending.

Eyez11
Overall

Title lured me in.

Prologue trapped me.

Escaped by reading all the chapters.

Bravo. '-' Slow claps

simianpower
Overall

First arc is amazing, then the author gets lazy

Reviewed at: All That Glitters 2

The first dozen or two chapters of this story are brilliant. Some of the funniest, best writing I've seen in a while, easily five stars. But after the fight with the dungeon master, after Monotal, it starts going down hill and keeps accelerating downward as far as I read. After a while I just couldn't justify wasting any further time on a story that had already gone from five-star to barely three-star with no hint that it would stop declining.

First the funny part gets steadily less funny. Then the fights become one-sided curb-stomps with no stakes. Then there are literal gods introduced to keep a now-stale plot moving. In the meantime a lot of the litRPG elements that made the first arc cook become background, only mentioned well after they happen and usually only when they become relevant to the plot. We don't even know what skills, jobs, spells, etc. the MC has until they're used in anger, since we no longer see the creature advance. It just... sorta keeps leveling up without any mention of what's happening. Those game elements become authorial ass-pulls that are just introduced the moment that they're used rather than when the MC gets them and/or works on them. Similarly, characters, races, entire nations just pop up as needed with no prior introduction. In a nutshell, the story goes from a well-plotted, well-planned, well-executed horror-comedy to rambling, barely coherent mental masturbation. And it does so very fast. It's clear that nothing after Monotal was planned out all that well.

I strongly recommend that you read this. And I also strongly recommend you stop at Monotal. You'll know when you get there. This would've been an absolutely amazing short story that ends at that point, either with the MC's death or with a vague "And the rest will be told another time" ending like in Conan, the Barbarian.

Ravenous Wolf
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

finally done with this and here comes my wave of wisdom on this abomination of the story:

 

characters were not to my liking! but they are decent. they have depth and the backstories are pretty legit so yeah, good job. although they might be annoying sometimes they would stay loyal to their former self up to the end of the story. I'll be rating an 8/10 for this part.

 

I didn't notice much of a grammatical problem reading it but still, conversations could appear pretty confusing and a lot of sentences are just there to be which makes reading some chapters one hell of boring torture. sometimes it honestly gets frustrating, the amount of bullshit you need to read, just to get to the next damn chapter. 6/10

 

The storytelling is pretty decent. the power system somehow makes sense, well except for the qi shit which we didn't get much on. still, stats make near to no sense. they can still serve as the obvious numerical witness to the growth of mc but nothing more. they are just some random numbers. for example, Endurance should affect health somehow but it's not clear. I still appreciate the amount of effort the author spend to write the system for at least the first few hundred chapters. after that well you might be lucky to get a look at the system for like once every 50 chapters. 6/10

 

the world-building is quite nice but nothing to be praised. the world is just too little and you get a world map at some point in earlier chapters but later author just ads places out of the map and doesn't offer a new map either. monsters and history and ... are designed quite well so a solid 7/10

 

the story itself can be surprising sometimes but it wouldn't take a lot of chapters to notice the hidden potential in it. the author could have done a better job but I have seen much worse shit and among my arsenal, the story is in the upper end of the deal. some parts of it were directly begging me to skip it though. 8/10

 

overall just start reading! it's probably worth it if you are into fantasy, magic, system, lit RPG, monster mc,... be wary that you might be tempted to drop it a few times along the journey, and don't be afraid to do so! the story will remain as it is and nothing much would change so if you feel this is not your piece of cake then just drop it, Da. 8/10

The one beyond the veil
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Starts strong, ending comes out of nowhere.

Reviewed at: Afterword and Q&A

Overall

I enjoyed the story, I read it from start to finish over the course of a few days and while I have a few minor complaints, they're just that, minor.

 

1. Style

LitRPG is a very popular subgenre so finding a unique approach after the landscape has gotten so saturated tends to be a bit of a chore. The writing style and tone kept things serious when plot was moving, but provided enough levity at key moments to prevent things from getting stale. 

 

2. Grammar

There are only a few extremely minor things that survived this long, most of the presence of grammar mistakes is only noticable when you see the comments from older revisions poiting out very minor tweaks. The story is completely readable.

 

3. Story

You can have sexual content in your story, it's your story at the end of the day. I've read a few comments where people don't seem to appreciate it, but frankly the large and unexpected additions or twists to the world that seemingly had no build up was more jarring than anything else.

 

4. Characters

I think I would have liked a bit more diversity in characters myself, a lot of them seem to boil down to big muscle or big booby, and that's fine if that's what you're after, but when the characters can't be told apart from a distance I start to get a bit bored with any physical description. They have unique enough personalities to somewhat make up for it, especially when the monsterous characters are concenerned. Some of the humanoids feel a bit cookie cutter in the early chapters.