Warning This fiction contains:
  • Profanity
  • Sexual Content

So let's say there's this girl. A young girl who happens to be a highly-trained, psionically-gifted, nanite-infused, genetically-enhanced and emotionally unstable assassin that doesn't know the concept of 'mercy' or 'holding back.'

Let's say she and her imaginary friend miraculously pass through the borders of reality into an alternate universe, crash landing into a world of swords and magic aboard a starship full of high-tech wonders.

Now, let's also say the first person this borderline psychopath meets happens to be her doppelganger - a highly gifted mage who happens to have a few problems of her own, like a bad temper or a bad habit of chronic self-delusion.

With me so far? Good.

Now, what's the on the agenda for these two different people who happen to be the same person? Settle down, start a family and thoroughly enjoy life. Maybe get married and have some kids. How about befriending a violent alcoholic or defeating an ancient evil being? Perhaps kill a few dragons and wreck a city along the way.

Anything can happen around the city of Runetap, after all. It's a place where bizarre and strange things occur on an almost weekly basis. The people living there have long abandoned silly things like common sense or minding the details. A giant flaming UFO streaks above the city in broad daylight? That's just another Tuesday. The City Guard even had the form for that, so believe me when I say this.

It's your loss if you mind it.


This is the light-hearted and fluffy tale of Ellie and Kira as they forge their own path of absurdity and crazyness across a world that often makes little sense. Loosely inspired by the Discworld series of books by Terry Pratchett, even though the author hasn't actually read any of them.

Contains yuri, mature themes and the author's personal views on several subjects. Explicit content is kept to a minimum.

Does NOT contain slavery, rape, drugs or any other similarly heavy themes.

  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score
  • Total Views :
  • 4,044,474
  • Average Views :
  • 24,218
  • Followers :
  • 2,671
  • Favorites :
  • 1,574
  • Ratings :
  • 793
  • Pages :
  • 1,401
Go to Table of Contents
Fiction breaking rules? Report


Chestiest Chest That Ever Chested

Author Premium Beta Testers
The Random Factor
Fledgling Reviewer (I)
Resilient Support
Royal Bloodline
Group War
Worthy Sacrifice
Memorable Acts
6th Anniversary
Word Count (20)
Premium Member
20 Review Upvotes
Table of Contents
167 Chapters
Chapter Name Release Date
Chapter 0 - Prologues without titles are a sign the author is lazy ago
Chapter 1 - The weather forecast often feels more like a wish than a prediction ago
Chapter 2 - It's strange that "Calm Down" and "Don't Panic" seem to have the opposite effect when said in times of emergency ago
Chapter 3 - Even adults throw tantrums when nobody's looking ago
Chapter 4 - Life is unpredictable, but that's what keeps it interesting ago
Chapter 5 - They say you'll die if you meet your double, but that should only happen if you're a bad person to begin with ago
Chapter 6 - Imaginary friends are great, but introducing them to people is awkward ago
Chapter 7 - People who only focus on their livelihood are impossible to live with ago
Chapter 8 - A bad craftsman blames his tools, which is troublesome for the good craftsman with legitimately bad tools ago
Chapter 9 - A change in someone's mood can almost always be associated with a change in their diet ago
Chapter 10 - The difference between work and play is all in the mind ago
Chapter 11 - Meeting colleagues outside of work is somehow more stressful than it needs to be ago
Chapter 12 - The ordinary days that we live in may, in fact, be a series of miracles ago
Chapter 13 - A rock landing in a small pond is bound to make a lot of waves ago
Chapter 14 - Breaking the ice is important in a new relationship, just make sure you do it carefully ago
Chapter 15 - Emergency units can always react fast because they do drills endlessly ago
Chapter 16 - Anyone would be angry if you keep insulting their favorite thing ago
Side Story - Codes are a useful tool for efficiently exchanging information ago
Chapter 17 - Treat clerks with patience and respect ago
Chapter 18 - Being able to turn something off and back on again is a vital part of modern life ago
Chapter 19 - Parents need to realize that making their child visit them is selfish ago
Chapter 20 - Culture shock isn't a big deal now, but it used to be life threatening ago
Chapter 21 - Most nightly activities are illegal once there is no consent ago
Chapter 22 - Remember to lock your doors and close your windows at night ago
Chapter 23 - Don't break anybody's heart, they have only one. Break their bones, they have 206. ago
Side Story - Imaginary friends exist because they are needed ago
Chapter 24 - Nicknames from your childhood tend to stick with you forever ago
Chapter 25 - They say power corrupts, but surely it doesn't happen overnight ago
Chapter 26 - It's okay to enjoy your fetish, as long as nobody gets hurt ago
Chapter 27 - Teamwork is an essential part of life ago
Chapter 28 - Standing meetings are way more efficient than sitting ones ago
Chapter 29 - Chapters without a title are also signs that the author is lazy ago
Chapter 30 - Any parent would be happy when their child is praised ago
Chapter 31 - There's a fine line between genius and insanity ago
Chapter 32 - The difference between a genuine product and a knock-off ago
Chapter 33 - Always read the fine print, even if you can't understand it ago
Chapter 34 - Persistence is important when training a pet ago
Chapter 35- Mad scientists are born when regular scientists break their moral compass ago
Chapter 36 - Itches are meant to be scratched. Ignore them at your own peril. ago
Chapter 37 - Good things come to those who wait, but they still need to reach out and grasp them ago
Chapter 38 - Holding it in too long can cause medical problems ago
Chapter 39 - Courage is not the absence of fear, but the drive to push past it ago
Chapter 40 - Surgeries are tough on everyone involved, especially the surgeon ago
Side Story - Chemically speaking, alcohol IS a solution ago
Chapter 41 - Always check the weather forecast when planning important events ago
Chapter 42 - A serious housewife is an enemy worthy of Rank B ago
Chapter 43 - A good toy will inspire wonder regardless of a person’s age ago
Chapter 44 - People tend to put a lot more effort into their hobbies than their jobs ago
Chapter 45 - Be mindful of others when being affectionate in public ago
Chapter 46 - Curiosity did not, in fact, kill the cat. Carelessness did. ago
Chapter 47 - Weapons exist for a singular purpose - to be used ago
Chapter 48 - Titles that reuse the same lame joke are a sign the author is lazy ago
Chapter 49 - People who make good first impressions rarely live up to them ago
Chapter 50 - You can't be robbed of something that doesn't belong to you ago
Chapter 51 - It's still magic even if you know how it's done ago
Chapter 52 - Some women call it “girls night out,” others call it “therapy” ago
Chapter 53 - Please drink responsibly, for your own sake and that of others ago
Chapter 54 - No battle plan survives contact with the enemy ago
Chapter 55 - An angered housewife is an enemy worthy of Rank A ago
Chapter 56 - Not all sufferers of Tourette's syndrome curse insessantly ago
Chapter 57 - It's a child's duty to be curious about things ago
Chapter 58 - Buying one's trust isn't the same as earning it ago
Side Story - Stalking does not count as a “long distance relationship” ago
Chapter 59 - Be more understanding with student drivers - it's a terrifying position! ago
Chapter 60 - Adults are afraid of the dark too, they just hide it better than kids do ago
Chapter 61 - No matter how happy it is, an adoption is always preceded by tragedy ago
Chapter 62 - Performing too well at your job is almost worse than performing poorly ago
Chapter 63 - Everyone around you can be a teacher in their own right ago
Chapter 64 - Jail time is not universally a bad thing. It does help sometimes. ago
Chapter 65 - Making this title sound like a nugget of wisdom takes too much effort ago
Chapter 66 - Fact checking is a skill that seems to be lost to the ages ago
Chapter 67 - There are questions that should never be asked. It's really for the best ago
Intermission - Excerpts from the Runetap City Guard Operational Handbook, Vol. 2 ago
Chapter 68 - Most interviews can affect your future. Especially the small ones. ago
Chapter 69 - Good feedback is vital when running a large organization ago
Chapter 70 - Beware nostalgia, it is a dangerous thing that warps our memmories ago
Chapter 71 - Even if it doesn't happen overnight, power still corrupts eventually ago
Chapter 72 - A mother protecting her kids is an enemy that exceeds Rank A ago
Chapter 73 - Making violence your first resort is a good way to cause problems ago
Chapter 74 - Collateral damage is a clean term used to talk about something horrible ago
Side Story - Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic ago
Chapter 75 - Power-ups that spring out of nowhere always look like dumb luck ago
Chapter 76 - No matter how much you polish a rock, in the end it's still a rock ago
Chapter 77 - If we can experience the feeling of deja vu, then what about vuja de? ago
Chapter 78 - Getting your hopes up only to have them dashed is a special sort of pain ago
Chapter 79 - Most people have one 'public' face and one 'private' face ago
Chapter 80 - Honest feedback is vital if you wish to improve a skill ago
Chapter 81 - A secret's worth is measured by how many people it must be kept from ago
Chapter 82 - Most elderly people struggle to keep up with technology ago
Chapter 83 - No good deed goes unpunished ago
Chapter 84 - No bad deed should go unpunished either ago
Chapter 85 - When packing your bags, always remember to bring your toothbrush ago
Chapter 86 - Don't forget to bring some clean underwear, too! ago
Chapter 87 - First-aid kits are also good to have on a trip. Accidents do happen! ago
Chapter 88 - Make sure you bring your passport or you'll suffer at the border ago
Chapter 89 - Seeing all the sights usually involves having a guide ago
Chapter 90 - Be on the lookout for festivals when visiting abroad. They're great fun! ago
Chapter 91 - Most festivals end with fireworks. You'll regret it if you miss them! ago
Chapter 92 - Every vacation gets way more fun when you bring friends and family ago
Chapter 93 - Observe and respect foreign customs, but do not imitate them carelessly ago
Chapter 94 - Some people need a vacation to recover from their vacation ago
Side Story - And now for something completely different ago
Chapter 95 - Always bounce your ideas off others, a second opinion can be invaluable ago
Chapter 96 - People who are full of themselves rarely realize that fact ago
Chapter 97 - No matter how rare something is, it's worthless unless it's put to use ago
Chapter 98 - Be careful with your sugar intake - it's dangerous beyond mere calories ago
Intermission - A copy of the Vestiges of the Empire Menu, Spoilers version ago
Chapter 99 - The apple doesn't fall far from the tree ago
Chapter 100 - Every parent is different, but some are more different than others ago
Chapter 101 - Trust, but verify ago
Chapter 102 - Everybody gets at least a little nervous when applying for a new job ago
Chapter 103 - Birds of a feather flock together ago
Chapter 104 - Oddly enough some parents are prouder than their kids on graduation day ago
Side Story - Actions speak louder than words ago
Chapter 105 - Those who forget the past are doomed to repeat it ago
Chapter 106 - Kids think of pets as their friends. Adults think of pets as their kids ago
Chapter 107 - A midnight emergency doesn't always mean wetting the bed ago
Chapter 108 - It's all fun and games until someone loses it ago
Chapter 109 - Don't wait for a calendar to tell you when you should enjoy life ago
Chapter 110 - New Year's Resolutions are usually closer to New Year's Self-delusions ago
Chapter 111 - Failure is but the first step on the road to success ago
Chapter 112 - Taking responsibility is never necessary. It's simply the right thing to do ago
Chapter 113 - There's a paper-thin difference between a happy and unhappy accident ago
Chapter 114 - There are some things you can say, and some you can't ago
Chapter 115 - Take care of your pets and they'll take care of you ago
Chapter 116 - Violence is always an answer, but it's almost never the right one ago
Chapter 117 - Going insane is not a solution to life's problems - it is an escape ago
Not a chapter - Side Story plot contest! ago
Chapter 118 - There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness. ago
Chapter 119 - Having the high ground, moral or otherwise, is a definitive advantage ago
Chapter 120 - Anything can be called a ritual as long as there's enough hand waving involved ago
Chapter 121 - A lack of knowledge often leads to good people making bad decisions ago
Chapter 122 - Conspiracy theorists seem to forget the simple fact that correlation does not imply causation ago
Side Story - A day in the life of me, myself and I ago
Side Story - The journey of a thousand miles may begin with a single step, but nobody said it had to be done alone ago
Side Story - Law Enforcement is the one industry that should definitely not allow bad apples ago
Chapter 123 - The burden of pregnancy can be heavier on the mind than it is on the body ago
Chapter 124 - If it happened two times, it will happen a third ago
Chapter 125 - Conversations are a lot like minefields, except you won't lose a leg for a misstep in the former ago
Chapter 126 - It's amazing how the mere presence of snow can have such a big effect on people ago
Chapter 127 - You can never be too prepared for a presentation ago
Chapter 128 - You don't need a special occasion to spend time with family and friends. But it helps. ago
Chapter 129 - People who say the ends justify the means are either unable or unwilling to find better means ago
Chapter 130 - Those in charge should take care to properly educate their subordinates ago
Chapter 131 - The so-called miracle of life can be a surprisingly disgusting process ago
Chapter 132 - It's the duty of all living things to eat, sleep and poop. Not necessarily in that order. ago
Chapter 133 - There's a limit to learning through doing ago
Chapter 134 - Everyone has layers. Just like ogres. Or was that onions? Does everyone have onions? ago
Chapter 135 - Sometimes it is necessary to hurt others for their own good ago
Side Story - Reunions would be far less awkward if people stopped trying to recount your embarrassing past ago
Chapter 136 - Phone interviews may seem impersonal, but they're also convenient in their own way ago
Intermission - An overview of a certain disembodied voice's employees ago
Chapter 137 - Despite what people say, you can definitely teach an old dog new tricks ago
Chapter 138 - The social side of attending school is often more important than the actual education ago
Chapter 139 - Tight deadlines can be stressful things, but loose ones can be just as bad ago
Chapter 140 - There's no such thing as ever-lasting memory. Even video tapes and history books will degrade with time. ago
Chapter 141 - Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is a pattern. ago
Chapter 142 - 'Keep your friends close and your enemies closer' is meant to be taken figuratively, not literally ago
Chapter 143 - The things you like always seem to look better when they're further away ago
Chapter 144 - The main reason people go to the mountains is to get away from other people, the fresh air is just a bonus ago
Chapter 145 - We're all a little bit crazy ago
Chapter 146 - Whether a house visit is pleasant or not hinges not only on the host, but also on the guests ago
Chapter 147 - A teacher will sometimes visit his or her student's home to check up on them, but the opposite somehow never happens ago
Chapter 148 - Hiding in plain sight seems like a clever strategy, but it rarely works when put into practice ago
Chapter 149 - Even if a stopped clock is right twice a day, that still means it was wrong on 86398 occasions within that same day ago
Chapter 150 - Nothing lasts forever, including parents, money, youth, your room, dress shirts, me, you, and Binary Soul ago
Afterword: Q&A with the author ago

Leave a review

Sort by:

I am quite happy that i am the first to post a review hehe first dibs!!

So the first few chaps were a bit confusing as the author was stil trying to find his own way  as how he/she wants to make the structure of his writting.

What i mean by this is that it was confusing as to whom was talking you kinda had to fiddle a bit and reread parts to know who is talking or what they meant with inside jokes ect.

After some time i either got used to it or the author got better at it as of the latest chaps i think its the latter so keep up the writting ^^


As for the story itself i like the interactions between Ellie and Kira its just Kiramazing hehe.

Release speed is very decent a very mayor good point as many peeps on royalroad want to make stories with 100+ chaps but never even get farther than 15 chaps or so -.-..........

I hope to read the completion of this novel.

Oh one last thing the first 10-15 chaps or so i wasnt really amazed til the interacactions between Ellie and Kira became rahter uniq at that point i am now waiting each day for a new chap to be released as i cannot wait for more fluffy weird antics of these 2 chars.

This says a lot it doesnt feel copied but rather original to the 2 chars.

Black March

I started reading this because Exterminatus wrote it, and I wanted to check out his other works after found out how much I like Large Chests.

I read 85 chapters of this series, and I don't really regret doing so. It wasn't too bad of a read.  But I doubt I will finish it up because there's just no tension. This is because the MC's are too powerful right from the start for anything to ever threaten them.


And even when the fights end there isn't really anything funny going on, the fights just end and life moves on to the next chapter where everything's lighthearted and lovey dovey. A meteorite could fall down and threaten to the destroy the entire planet and one of the MC's would just blow it up because it was blocking the sun. (That didn't happen, but if it did that's pretty much how the fight would end.)

It's not outright bad though, just not comparable to Exterminatus later works.


Delusional in a good way. Honestly, I couldnt call this anything other than original with its plotline. Not every day you get this kind of stuff. But, I suppose that is only par for the course when you realsie who wrote this.

Sure, there might be some humour that doesn't sit completely right with me, but things like that can be ignored for its excellent style and flawless grammar. There is no reason not to read this. 5/5


To start I want to notify that english is not my first language and thus some wierd things may appears in my sentences and grammar contructions.

That said. READ. THIS. STORY. ITS. FREAKING. GOOD. you know.

The 60 first chapter are a cute story of a couple. Realy fun to read an realy nice to follow.

But the masterpiece happens after the 60+ chapters.

There you will have a very very good "Ankh-Morpoky" feeling about the world the characters are evolving in.

The utterness absurdity of the watch's rules, the racial behaviours, the totaly random and wierd events ....

That's marvelous. Every chapters I laugh and I want to read more.

I think i'll buy the books on amazon.

Thanks again to the author for providing us such an amazing story.


It has (had) potential, it started out ok if a bit confusing and i can see how it would be on par with ELLC.

But the author dropped the ball, most of the story is a confusing mess and the way many things are handled makes little sense, and the no killing thing was frankly stupid and ridiculous from the start.

Unlike an 'insanity' story it's just a mess no entertainment or 'crazy person' mentality at all. And the whole "it's your loss if you mind it" thing was just another hole to sink the ship.

The choppy sentence by sentence style was not, and never will be, acceptable in any story but a childrens book.


Made it to chapter 44

Japanes-eque story with a bit of forced, incestious romance.

Unfortunately, I don't actually like any of those things.  I really wanted to like this story too, a really great concept, somewhat wasted.

Still, it's good reading while you're between more substantial material.


Great Concept, great slice of life story

Reviewed at: Afterword: Q&A with the author

I started out reading the author's other story, Everybody Loves Large Chests, and I enjoyed it so much I decided to start with his first story.  While the evolution of the author is obvious, his sense of humor remains the same which makes Binary Soul a truly enjoyable read.  I was stunned to find in an Author Note that English wasn't his first language.  I would have sworn he was British!  I guess it's truly your loss if you mind it.


Great and Fun story to read!

Reviewed at: Afterword: Q&A with the author

This is a great execution of a fun fantasy that takes on the world without taking itself too seriously.  Props to you Exterminatus for drawing me in to an endeering story, making me laugh, and keeping me wanting to come back for more!  *salute*

Take my 5 stars, you've earned it! =D


Less a review than a comment. I know it's for affect and an experiment, but please don't ever use this writing style again. The short choppy one sentence paragraph after one sentence paragraph starts to become a drain to read considering the line breaks you use between each. Nothing flows and the entire thing becomes a staccato of disjointed ideas that should connect but don't.

It works for dialog; statement, paragraph break, counter statement, paragraph break, counter counter statement.. and onto infinity. But for internal monologue instead of giving each thought the feeling the character thought something, paragrap break, they thought something else, paragraph break, another thought... as each thought comes to them; it instead slows the process of telling the reader the story down and makes it seem like the characters are incapable of having complex thoughts. i.e., they are stupid.


Don't be put off by the mass posting of early chapters, this fic is well worth a read. The style and structure slowly get better, so don't be put off by all the one-sentence paragraphs. The story and grammar and characters are excellent from the beginning.