(On Hiatus For a while due to real life obligations, also working on a Comic/Manga Adaption, update on Twitter)
Can you feel it? That tugging feeling on your heart? That falling sensation as you are forced into a deep well by the people you trusted most? In your heart you decide to accept it, to bear it, to die with it, yet, even as you continue falling your decision haunts you. A general in your prime, millions of innocents lie dead in your wake.
Feeling the end of your life pulling you in, the wall of water ever beckoning as you hit it full on. All feeling has been lost. Finding yourself devoid of sound. Nothing visible in this darkness. No strength in your limbs. This has become your end. But the endless has seen your life in His presence you feel the minute speck that you are, become more than what was, he gifts you with a new body with limitless potential imparted with its own endless strength. He puts you in a place where powers run rampant.
The God of all has decided this. Your new life has the promise of excitement, adventure, love, Tragedy. Walking with purpose you pave the path for your race.
Regardless of the dangers you will face you will live on for the end goal ---- -Synopsis Credit's to FlameRaptor. My Twitter for News and early spoilers of artwork and chapter titles https://twitter.com/SpectralRegalia
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Before we say anything, you should know that I have read every one of his chapters, I know what I’m talking about. Now I am not the greatest of writers, I’m a math brain not much else, but can you really call these nouns characters?
The progression has done nothing but go backwards for any party that’s involved! Honestly people like Kael have gotten even less depth since meeting the MC! Also, I thought they had decided they were now father and son not that one kid I trained and then made the heir to my empire. And then there is the MC fan club that people should call his band of “everything goes right for these seriously OP, overly loyal NUTCASES!” Literally HOW DO THESE PEOPLE MAINTAIN LOYALTY TO HIM!! He barely shows up and yet people see him as this wonderful role model. What’s worse is that his own people, who are apparently akin to his family, often talk about him as nothing more than a flipping fairy tale character. He just dropped his son off and then disappears for years at a time, meaning annoying chapters that go into him simply describing his Black orb AND HOW HE CAN MAKE IT BLACKER!!
And don’t get me started on the women! His harem is even worse than the fan club and the exception is that he has been openly abusive to them! The relationship is even more shallow than some of the smuttier stories that exist on this site. At least with those, the MC doesn’t throw them at one of the world’s most dangerous living creatures and say “You threw me into a cage for all of six minutes for actually meaningful reasons, so I, the apparent pragmatist that only understands logic, must hate you for your logical behavior. Now feel my illogical wrath!”
I mean, his hatred is barely understandable, and that I accept. I would even accept if his harem decided to hunt him down for nearly killing them. But no, the only reason why they are tracking him across the entire earth, is because they are attracted to the robo- I mean MC.
Physical relationships do not drive people who should no better to hunt down a man that purposefully tried to have them killed just to see that smokin/effeminate bod.
Oh yeah, and I must say, those epic slap-fights really show off that tacticians mind of his, don’t you? It feels like I’m right there in the middle of wrestle mania, watching as the undertaker finally takes his rightful place as– woah! My bad! I seem to have gotten my no-tactics fighting mixed up, sorry! But seriously this guy puts even less thought into what he’s going to do than that one spiky, golden haired, sexduple pack, over nine thousand character we all know and treat like that one uncle who’s name you can’t remember but am at least pretty sure is your godfather. And honestly, that’s saying something.
And oh right, then there’s his psychopathic behavior. He is the most illogical robot I have ever read about. You see it as plot device, I see it as lazy writing. And anyone that has paid attention knows which plot device I'm talking about.
Now I understand how much people hate meaningless criticism, I do too. So this is what you can do to fix your MC, and from there improve your book. Derive inspiration from other writers, the ones that get the highest character ratings out there. You had it going with the first few chapters in Ethereal Sovereign, but you dropped it to make people that have a goal but at the same time no motivation. YOU HAVE POTENTIAL!! Sarcasm would be the first step into developing the character, give him someone who peaks his curiosity and at the same time changes him. I get the feeling you were going for that with Kael, but you stopped just short of actually achieving it. You were a hairs breadth away from giving him emotion. I get it that you are probably trying to create a pragmatist, but too many of his actions are illogical and based on the emotions he shouldn’t be able to feel, also a pragmatist would be more strategy minded, not go in guns a blazin’ with all that non-existent hotheadedness.
Anyways, that is it for my rant, take or leave it, I’ll check up with you in a few months, see if anythings changed. BYE!!
(also, my apologies for poor grammar, that's why I refuse to even grade him on that.)
First sorry for my bad english, it aint my native languague.
THIS IS A REVIEW, SO IT WILL BE LONG.
I posted a comment on chapter 102, in wich I told your plot with the characters from The Lord of the Rings(Gandalf). If anyone thought that I was bitching about how you brought the side characters back to life(I cant remerber their names, and if I have to look the old chapters to find out, that just proves my point that the characters themselves are forgettable), actually my biggest problem was the plot. So now I am going to do a complete review to clear things out.
I believe that the 5 stars rating doesnt do justice when you review a fantasy story(Or any other book for that matter). If 5 stars are the max or perfection, then giving 5 stars to a book is being hipocritical becuase no book can be 100% perfect, whats perfect to someone is dogshit to someone else(Take modern art for example). A clasical romance masterpiece can be boring as shit to someone that likes horror, you have to review a story taking in consideration the context and the purpose of the book.
For example you cant judge the romance in a horror story as the key element of it, just as you can not judge the suspense in a romance novel as the key element that drives the book.
Fantasy books have 4 especific things that drives the book(Excluding grammar, that is what proofreading is for), and those are: Lore, Characters, Plot and the Fights.
So now I am going to give my personal opinion of those 4 points in your story.
The take of the one and only “GOD” is pretty interesting by itself, that he/she rules all the universes, and the other gods are just beings with great power in that particular universe. And the fact that you explained their origin and the origin of the world the MC is in it, is great.
But the world build up is left behind in the middle of the story, you mention the gods in the beggining and after a few chapters they are left behind, to never be mentioned again. The take on the sigil weavers is so so, they actually apeared in fron of the MC so we can see their relevance in the story, but then again they are left behind to never be mentioned again. The story of the kingdoms and their fights among themselves is explained wich is good, but just when we start to care about a particular kingdom the MC makes a travel to some forest or jungle, and such kingdoms are never mentioned again.
The Magic system of the world is not explained in detail wich makes sense since the MC is unique, and therefore the system of the magicians and the warriors of the rest of the world have no relevance with him. But the problem is the powers of the MC in question. He has his dark nebula wich can be formed into anything, so basically he has the Green Lanterns power. Thats a cool concept if done right. You make him use his powers at the beggining, building bombs and stuff, then later they are forgotten. The MC just makes walls, and later he just cuts people with a sword, or use the force to weight them down.
Overall is just wasted potential in the world build up.
Here we encounter a difficult setting, the characters need to have something that makes the reader relate to them. So we can care about that particular character, to cry when something bad happens to them, to feel joy when they conquer their quest or survive their tribulations. It doesnt matter if they are human or from another race, they need to feel human to us.
Even antiheroes need to have something that makes them likeable, a particular action, a conviction or something they want so bad, that you feel their desire and you root for them.
By taking his emotions you not only kill any chance of us getting to relate to the MC, but also of any character development that the MC might have. You now have a Terminator. If you saw the first two terminator movies(the 3, 4 and 5 are garbage), you see that altought the title of the movie is Terminator and T2, and arnold is the main character, the actual characters that drive the movie are the human ones. For example Sara Connor(1 and 2), Kylee Reese(1) and their son John Connor(2). The terminator is only a byproduct of skynet and the acts that the humans do trought the story.
The side characters in your story are really shallow, and few of them are actually memorable. The fact that 70% of your focus is the MC point of view, it just make us realise how little we care of the side characters when you do a chapter of their point of view.
And the motive behind the MC is shallow too. There are no motives you can relate to. He wants to become a god. Why? Just because he wants to? And what if he becomes a god, then what? He will play chess with the real good for eternity? He wants to be a god to protect his specie? Why does he even cares about them? Why do I care about him?
Overral your MC is a machine and the decisions he takes make no sense(He cares about his student? Wasnt he a cold hearted machine? If he choose to have his feelings again, then why would he trow them away in the first place?)
Now we get to something really important in fantasy books, the plot. When you write the plot of this kind of book you have to take several things into account. Like the difference between slow development, and no development at all. Not making the plot predictable or cliche, among other things.
The plot of your story at the beggining was very simple. He died, and now he wants to become a god just for kicks of it, so now we have a story of the underdog that wants to go from nobody to almighty god. But we get no credible explanation of why things are happening, or how things that alredy happened have any meaning with the plot of the story.
You killed any development of the plot when the “real god” erased the memories of the whole world(Including the gods in it), of the time he attacked the hurricane. We could have got a real plot development in many ways. You could have brought the gods in the context of the MC actions, you could have expanded the plot development of the guy that took the MC blood, you could have gave us the point of view of the gods when things that the MC did affected them. Instead we got bullshit plot twist of how the “real god” erased their memories.
And you never take on that subject ever again. Now we have the MC teaching a boy how to fight. Why? I mean really why? The MC becoming a 12 year old boy so he can gain fame, all that in a academy for teenagers. Wtf? Does the IQ of the MC is bellow 100? After all the brain power that the MC uses, to find a solution to the fact that he needs to get famous, the only thing he have is to become a 12 year old boy?(The fact that conveniently, there is sky metal in that academy is bullshit. That is just a cheap excuse. Deux ex machina moment to the fullest)
The inconsistency of the plot is huge. Therefore your plot went from ok to bad, and the from bad to worse. The fact that the rating of the story keeps going down should be proof enough.
– The Fights:
The fights in a fantasy story are important, they are what makes you read books with this subject. Its the climax of a any great character development. The way a character uses his powers in a fight can make you think: “So cool, I wish I had those powers”.
The fights here are obnoxious and kind of boring, plus they have no relevance to the story at all. The MC can make anything with his dark nebula, and he only makes walls appear randomly when he fights? The MC trains really hard so he can be powerful, but he doesnt fight the first dragon and instead tricks the dragon by making a bomb with his powers? Why couldnt he do that in the other fights?
That thing when he slashed the hurricane in half, never happened. God erased the memories of everyone, including the memories of the readers.
That fight with the second dragon? The MC getting his ass kicked by smal time draconians, that took 5 chapters so he could defeat them, all that so that the main fight is over in 1 chapter? And he kills it in 1 shot?
All in all, with the powers that the MC have, the fights are boring.
I hope you dont feel insulted and you keep writing. Im doing this review in the hopes that it will help you improve as a writer. Anyone can tell you “thanks for the chapter” in the comments section, and that brings 0 help as your improvement as a writer.
Good luck, have fun.
Just cleaned up the review a bit as to let it have more sense to new readers.
For those of you looking for a romance novel, you might want to skip out, or grit your teeth through it and see if the author actually plans to have actual romance in story past Chpt. 60.
I’ll start off with what made me really lose it.
The part where the MC and two of his companions go to a dragons cave.
Basically, the MC and Co are going to take a "treasure" from said Dragon.
Now you should note that one, according to this fic, just ONE dragon has the potential to turn a continent into a wasteland of endless death and destruction and go back to sleep like it was nothing. The other races could literally do NOTHING to stop it and the Angel and Demon race would walk out and leave the other races to their fate.
And you know what the MC decides to do? Pull the wool over the dragon's eyes, his companions, and then activate some retarded trap for NO REASON (he already has the treasure by this point). And you know what the trap does!? Give the dragon and his so called "companions" (read: People that we're warming up to him) an NON FATAL electric shock.
Does this piss off the dragon?
You bet your ass.
Does the dragon flip out with a fury looking for the MC?
I don't know! For whatever reason, the dragon just roars in anger then goes back to sleep! There was absolutely NO REASON for the dragon not going out of it's mountain and to KILL the MC because he has the treasure, which by the way, the dragon was guarding due to it being "EVIL".
This is not the only scene the should be raising red flags for this story for you.
There's also the fact that he's set up as "General" of a space fleet. (Shouldn't it be Admiral at the very least? Or Space Commander?). Meaning he should be a mature adult right? Nope. The MC acts like a bipolar teenage girl on her period. I WISH I was joking! The MC goes on this tirade of saying how he's "so emotionless" then the next moment decides to flip the fuck out. This especially relates to this lion-like monster he encounters in the beginning. Already, this whole trait of him being "emotionless" is falling apart and because of this, there is no character growth so the MC remains a dickweed all through out even in Chpt 90+
Then the author tries to ease this off by making him feel guilty about the dragon scene a chapter later. You know, the part where he MIGHT have killed his companions in the dragons den? By the way, he has no way of knowing if their alive or not! Oh, oh! Let's not forget to mention one of those companions is the GRANDDAUGHTER of his martial arts teacher! And all he gets is to squirm for one paragraph before moving on to the next plot device?
All this is annoying because the author played it like he was starting to be nice and warm up to the companions before the MC just throws them off a cliff.
Okay, fine. Play him as a douche. But then don’t try and give him a conscience, then just drop off said conscience aside.
Frankly, I think we need to be stricter with the romance tag as there is ZERO romance all the way to chapter 59. Yes, girls are “fawning” over him, but since he’s not even engaging in it, heck, even dropping (romanced) established side characters off a cliff, well, that doesn’t seem the lease bit romantic does it? Especially to people wanting to read a romance-genred novel.
Honestly, the author has potential in his writing. His world building is truly fantastic. But the story reads like a wet dream (Encounters ninja clan early on? Really? And gets trained by them?).
All in all, great start. That's all. Nothing to complain about your style or grammar, however the heart and soul of your fic, your story and characters, needs work.(READ: Characters are ABYSMAL. If I could put a negative score for it, it would be a -10.) Quite a lot really. Hell, if it was me, I'd rewrite the whole thing. Make the MC more likable. Make use of the romance tag or just drop it all together if you're going with "Hates women" trait of the MC.
This will be my first review on this site, and I will write it about a webnovel I kind of like, though it has a couple of big problems. Couple of days ago I decided to reread the entire story again from the beginning, with a more critical mindset. This is when I noticed the biggest flaw of this story, its inconsistency. A little bit later I will explain what I mean with it, but before I start with the problems I will list a couple of things that are good.
Currently I get bored with web/lightnovels quite fast. Usually they start good and then fall into an endless loop of repetition. There is a battle, the main character either loses or wins, then he trains and there is another battle. This repetitive writing style ruins many good premises. One of the good parts of this story is the lack her off. The writer does a good job with constantly introducing new ideas in the story. First there are battles, then smiting, then alchemy. Power ups happen first this way, then another idea is added that adds to the first or replaces it. Because of this an idea of movement is created in the story. The lack of harem or dense/moronic main characters also works in the favor of this story. The mc has a proper goal he strives for, and while working for it his plans change because of either setbacks or things that went well. This helps with the development of this story and to a certain degree to the development of the characters as well.
This is where the inconsistencies start popping up. In order to make clear what I mean, I will list a couple of examples, so SPOILER WARNING. This part is more meant for the author as constructive criticism. For others who do not want any spoilers, they can skip to the grammar part.
In the beginning of the story it was stated that the world exists for approximately 2000 years. Now halfway the story one of the female characters tells about a human friend her granddad had who created a special kind of gem. And that was before her parents died during a past war. So we can assume not a lot of time has gone past the 2000 year mark. Then why does our mc come into contact with an ore that has to be forget in volcanoes for 100000’s of years before it gets its properties? Unless inside the volcanoes time flows differently this should be impossible. Or have 88000 years gone past since the creation of Gaia academy? If so why is that not mentioned?
Sometimes what is done with numbers don’t make sense. At one point in time the mc travels to the central continent with a warship that should have been faster than travelling normally. Before moving out he helped a beggar, who somehow ended up at the same city as him less than a week later than him? While traveling on foot and converting others/starting a religion? Before meeting that beggar he converts a dwarf, then makes a deal with the beggar to meet up with him a month later. Starts training for months speaks to Asura and finds out the dwarf only woke up recently. Then continues speaking with the beggar like nothing is wrong, even though the poor guy had to wait for months while the mc was training.
At some points calculations are done that don’t make sense at all. The strength of particles he creates have 10x the strength, those by c.particles have 3x the strength. After some tinkering he finds out how to improve them and makes his c.particles make particles with 3x the strength.
And these are just some examples. There are more. If a world is build for a story, an author has to make sure actions follow the rules of that world. Cause and effect should all be logical considering the rules of that story, if it is not it’s called a plot hole.
It started bad at the beginning, after a while the grammar starts to improve. Some sentences are not written that fluently though, but I can understand that if English is not your native language.
Another fault in this story, though less irritating atm. Again SPOILERS. A lot of side characters are quite one-dimensional. The elven girl who tried to kill him suddenly saw his exterior and now is in love with him. That ninja girl is a tsundere. Which is a trope I hate, but I guess others might like it. The sexist ninja is the stereotypical sexual girl with nothing else to flesh out her character. That kid that got trained by our mc. shows some personal development in character and strength, which is nice. Though this forces me to ask the question why the other 3 mentioned characters did not get the same treatment. Asura didn’t get any character development either, except from changing races. No mentioning of how this changed him as a person, what it means for him etc. Nor have the dwarf and beggar gotten any development as a character. This makes sense, because they haven’t had much of a role in the story yet, so this is something that can be fixed for them. It is advised to give them more of a personal struggle for that. Some changes in character perhaps. In the later chapters I did see some resemblance of doubt within the beggar, quite subtle. If something is done with it, his character will be more fleshed out because of it.
Now on to the mc. The fact that his emotions are regulated by his body kinda makes it difficult to say anything about his lack of character and one-dimensional focus on improvement, after all these factors are a part of the story. He is not really human atm, so it is not easy to relate with him though. In one of the later chapters it was noted that he will get his emotions under control. Doing that will make the mc more likable, which will make the story better as well. The problem now is that he has shut down his trauma’s etc. The emotions that force a character to develop as a character are not present. Therefore the semblance of personal growth is not present either. And no, power ups / learning new skills is not personal growth. I hope that soon this can be fixed by making him more human.
Even though this story has many faults, the idea is very interesting. Although I’m annoyed every time such inconsistencies pop up, I’m still willing to wait a week every time to read the new chapter. Which is strange, because normally when such things start happening I lose interest and start looking for something else to read. The world itself is interesting, which is probably the reason I keep following this story and if these faults get fixed the story will improve greatly. I do advice the author though to re-read his story again from the beginning critically and fix these inconsistencies.
A summary of what people have already said:
- Plot: great idea poor output
- Beginning: Great! In fact it’s what drew everyone in.
- World: BRILLIANT I mean genius world building.
- MC: a bipolar guy who is supposed to be emotionless. Oh, he hates women too.
- Side characters: the mc hates women = quite shallow development
- Style: interesting not the best though
Overall: try putting an emotionless and pragmatic guy with temper issues and a hatred towards women, with a harem who immediately fell for his looks with no development (romantically or character wise), an amazing prologue, an amazing world…. and what do you get?………. Spectral Regalia…. or a great idea that sort of went …. there…. to the place where your socks end up.
I understand why people say it’s great, but it really isn’t for people who can’t stick through the mc’s personality.
Delightful in all areas... except for the MC and many supporting female characters.
From the start we are presented with an amazing view of a fantasy world that strays close to cliché, yet defines itself as incredibly different through wonderful narrative. Refreshingly, the story also avoids many pitfalls of fantasy elements, and does a fair job at reasoning through choices made by the gods and other characters, with quite a few power struggles being resolved through well reasoned compromises.
From the beginning of the web fiction the MC is shown to be a pragmatist; neither cruel nor good, simply taking the most logical steps to reach a desired outcome. Unfortunately this starts to become a major detriment to the character development of the MC, as his decisions are often very straightforward and invoke very little empathy or excitement within the reader. The MC also has a habit of involving himself in situations and persecuting other characters for no apparent reason, which seemingly contrasts with his neutral, intelligent and logical character. As romantic elements are introduced they inevitably clash with the MC's wooden personality; which creates an incredibly awkward environment that has no relevance to the actual story, and also completely destroys the character development of any female characters that happen to come into contact with him.
In most fiction much of this could be forgiven with exciting combat and situations; however, the MC's main ability is seemingly all encompassing, yet bounded by an indeterminable power level, and is mostly used in a brute force offense/defensive manner, leaving fights fairly bland at times, only being made interesting by the other characters involved.
Whilst I came to love the world and many of the characters that the author had lovingly crafted, I found it harder and harder to bear with the MC and characters that joined him on his journey, with situations became more and more random. Furthermore, as I was unable to consistently identify his actual character and power level it left me feeling increasingly disconnected with the story in general and apathetic about what was to come, with the introduction of harem/ecchi elements completely killing my interest in reading further.
All in all I look forward to seeing the author's further works, as the world captured within this web fiction is fantastic, and some of the characters are well developed; but in my opinion the design of the main character, as well as many female characters, is fairly poor, which undermines the overall strength of the story in general.
Honestly, I enjoyed this story.The major issue is that the story constantly repeats itself, every bunch of chapters resulted in a general copy of the older chapters but with different characters.
Constantly remaking and remodeling characters esentially
The story near the last 10 cbapters is even worse, the story turns into what I would call complete "Garbage" its quite literally just a Isekai school novel.
I really liked this story at first, but it degrades at a certain point and without a pretty large rewrite this story won't be as popular as it used to be.
I also disliked the racism towards dragons, but I disregarded this.The MC"s personality is just inconsistent and while it is "explained" by the dark matter heart, I believe the author added this just to hide his inconsistencies.
Edit:I wrote this while I was tired, and it might of sounded rather rude.That was not my intention.
I honestly love this novel but I still have some issues with it. Firstly the story pretty basic, lots of people have done it traveled/reincarnated to another world pretty simple nothing new. The character can use some work but the way the author shows and builds the world in my opinion is amazing. I love how the author foreshadows things I think it's is amazing how he has everything planned out. Of course this could've gotten 5/5 stars if the characters were better. I have seen novels which have great main and side characters and honestly it doesn't come even a little close to the characters badness in this novel. I love this novel but I have seen better.
"The progression has done nothing but go backwards for any party that’s involved! Honestly people like Kael have gotten even less depth since meeting the MC! Also, I thought they had decided they were now father and son not that one kid I trained and then made the heir to my empire. And then there is the MC fan club that people should call his band of “everything goes right for these seriously OP, overly loyal NUTCASES!” Literally HOW DO THESE PEOPLE MAINTAIN LOYALTY TO HIM!! He barely shows up and yet people see him as this wonderful role model. What’s worse is that his own people, who are apparently akin to his family, often talk about him as nothing more than a flipping fairy tale character. He just dropped his son off and then disappears for years at a time, meaning annoying chapters that go into him simply describing his Black orb AND HOW HE CAN MAKE IT BLACKER!!"
Edit: I scrapped my review as its no longer relevant.
I'm just ranting about this story's problems that happend recently, because from a high above average novel this story turned into below average in the past 20+ chapters.
1. I just finished chapter 161 and i'm truly dissapointed how some things turned out. First off, no romance, why? Why would you introduce potentional female characters for MC and build up a romance between them and then just have MC ignore them. Like, what was the point of the romance build up?
2. I'm seriously pissed off how you make MC not use his powers fully. Tell me why would he use ONLY 10% of his power against an opponent on same level? How does that make any sense? Its been happening for quite some time to be honest, but i was trying my best to ignore it. But now, even though he is supposed to be a general. He is still acting so illogicaly that its just sad.
3. Story progression. When Avrin arrived on the new planet i though something interesting would happen, but no. Even though he is a SUPERIOR BEING on that planet, he is not trying to conquer the planet or do anything at all. He is just hiding in the shadows and making an army/workers and weapons for humans for some reason. I have to say that after Avrin went to space everything went wrong.
4. Power levels: How powerful is Avrin? I have no idea. Some random prince, who apparently owns a fragment of god and is at NEW DEITY lvl is able to fight on par with Avrin (WHO IS SOMEWHERE AT ELDER DEITY LEVEL, or at least you said that he is stronger than Septim was and he was at elder deity, so i'm assuming he should be way much stronger than that guy is). And the most absurd thing i've seen in your novel so far was introduced in chapter 161. Apparently that guy has some skills giving him 1 extra life, some kind of immortality and the most importantly he can LINK HIS DESTINY with someone. Tell me, how is that prince so powerful? It doesn't make any single piece of sense. And now our prince linked his destiny with Avrin's. Nice. So, what if the prince linked his destiny with some kind of OP being like cosmic deity and such? Wouldn't he be able to threaten them and use them? This kind of power looks insanely powerful to me. He is just basically having more and more power ups just to match Avrin's power. And Avrin is never going serious, because he is a general, who is not using any tactic or basically anthing at all. He is just going head on and using 10% of his power, because otherwise he could actually be powerfull and that would be a disaster.
5. Actions: Avrin's actions are making little to no sense. Fine, so lets assume he is a general and he is acting as one. What would you do? Would you just make weapons for humans and make an armies of weakling? Of course not, why would you do that. If he was acting as a general he is supposed to be, he would just gather more and more resources and make breakthroughts as that is the most effecient way to get powerfull. Also the thing with the woman, who apparently knows what Earth is is so retarded.... Like, she showed that she knows something and Avrin just doesn't bother to ask her. The thing is, Why wouldn't he ask? Another thing i just simply don't understand.
I really tried to like your story, but you are making it harder and harder with every new chapter. I will probably continue reading even though you are murdering your own work. A lot of people don't like how your story turned out, so maybe you will improve your work, who knows. Honestly, At this point the thing i would appreciate the most would be a full rewrite from the Orphelium meeting point.