Unbound Deathlord: Challenge

by edwardcastle

Original HIATUS Action Adventure Drama Fantasy Anti-Hero Lead LitRPG Magic Male Lead Strategy Virtual Reality
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity

Due to Amazon's Kindle Unlimited rules, I had to pull most of the book content from RoyalRoad.

Only sample chapters remain.

To read a fiction that will never be removed from Royal Road, I recommend my other fiction: Immortal Mage.


The first two books of the series are out on Amazon:

Book 1: Unbound Deathlord: Challenge
Book 2: Unbound Deathlord: Obliteration 


Book 1: Challenge

When virtual reality becomes real enough that people feel as if they’re being transported to another world, Valia Online arrives.

A man running from his past joins the game to forget it all. Calling himself Jack Thorn, he chooses an undead race, Deathlord.

A mage by choice, and a swordsman by necessity, he soon finds out that he’ll need to use much more than magic and steel to survive; strategy, creativity, and carefully chosen words can often accomplish what simple attacks can’t.

As the game becomes too real and touches a part of him that he’d rather leave buried, he is faced with two questions:

Who is he, really?

And who should he become?

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edwardcastle

edwardcastle

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Puppychow
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Interesting take on a Death Knight

Yes, I realize the main character (MC) plays an unbound "Deathlord" in the game rather than a "Death Knight."  However, the role of this character class really fits the profile of a Death Knight from the classic Dragonlance fantasy series from the 80s.

 

Now speaking from the perspective of world building, I respectfully disagree with the author's decision to make the deathlord class weak under the sunlight and thereby requiring the MC to remain underground.  Part of the attraction of the undead to the general public is the fear that they instill in the living especially when encountered during the light of day. Using Lord Soth the Death Knight from the Dragonlance series as an example, if Soth was limited to travel by night then he would be less fearsome as an opponent for the forces of Good.  In a similar vain, I could see a point in the future where the MC becomes an Over Powering (OP) character but the travel restriction under sunlight as a deathlord will inevitably restrict his activities against the good folks living above ground.  By restricting the MC to remain underground, it limits the kinds of interactions that the author can create for the MC.

 

As far as character development is concerned, the author states upfront that the MC killed his parents and throughout the chapters  the author provides flashbacks of the MC's interactions with his parents.  Frankly, I'm uncertain as to the "value" of the MC having such a background.  The author tries to suggest that the MC's good-doer approach to people he met in game was some kind of rebellion against the teachings and harsh philosophies of his parents.  However, I remain unconvinced that making the MC a parent-killer is necessary to justify the way he treats people in need within the game.

 

Now for the things I like so far about Challenge.  First, I have to commend the author for his dedication in publishing such long chapters on a daily basis.  It is not an easy thing to do, and I want to praise the author for his dedication to his series.  Second, the author maintains a good perspective in reminding the reader that the MC is inside a virtual reality game and the NPCs within the game are also cognizant of  non-native characters.  Third, the author does a commendable job in creating interesting interactions between the MC and the NPCs.  If he wakes up one morning and decides to quit writing the Challenge series, the writer should definitely try his hand at standup comedy.  Jerry Seinfeld started out the same way, as a stand-up comedian, and eventually found commercial success creating "Seinfeld."

 

All in all, Challenge has been an enjoyable series and I will continue to follow it.

Kilsharion
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High Expectations for This Author

While the author is not a native English speaker, the work is well written and engrossing enough to make it worth the reader'so while to look past the occasional erroneous turn of phrase, poor punctuation or bad grammar. There is surprisingly little of each. The story pulls you in from the beginning; and, the author is able to set just the right hooks to keep the reader coming back for more. If this continues to a solid ending, this will be an exceptional draft of what I would not be surprised to find a best seller. A wise publishing house would be well served to grab onto what is surely a rising star in this relatively young genre. He writes well enough and clearly enough to pull in even non-gamers. However, for the gamer, this book is a slice of absolute awesome.

pastesh
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Really good - love it!

Dark MC, undead. Good grammar and style of writing. Can't wait for more.

ncross11
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Why isn't this on Amazon?

This story is fantastic and the author should definately be getting paid for it. I can't wait for more!

Azcheron
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Innovative Magic, Deep Characters and a compelling Plotline

Character interactions are ace. Plot and story are well planned and executed. Magic system is different than most others I have seen, but maintains a structured approach. Good fightscenes which are detailed and quite accurate. Style is refreshing and the humour is great. Overall I have to give it 5/5 

Grammer improved drastically after implementation of Grammerly, and you were't afraid to change mistakes which people noticed.

LordPrettyFlacko
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Yea I like this story a lot. The only thing that needs improvement is the grammar. I wonder how long is gonna take for the MC to reach the surface. (If he ever does :))

AncientPlunger
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Wmullins
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Such a good series. i heard we were getting new chapters soon! keep uo the good work, Ed

Hammarsten
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wise and great deathlord

story is funny, and intense. great read so far, and i need more 

catbearpenguin
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Gi gi gu. Well worth reading wuve more than turtles

OOOO amazing well written can wait for the next trimester. i mean chapter