- Sexual Content
A lonely middle aged man in a dead-end blue collar job fills what seems to be an advertisement survey on his old computer before sleeping on a whim. Next time he wakes up, he is in the body of a 14 year old fatty with a splitting headache, understanding a language he has never heard of, with memories that don't belong to him. According to the foreign memories, this 14 year old fatty was eerily similar to the options he had filled in that survey. How will he navigate this new world of cultivation with his new identity? Extra Tags: Cultivation, Transported to Another World, Xuanhuan, Xianxia, Game Elements Warning: This series is tagged as Mature because it includes crude language and graphic violence among other things. Taking a break from writing Asunder Online, and just felt like uploading this. Expect an erratic schedule.
- Overall Score
- Style Score
- Story Score
- Grammar Score
- Character Score
- Total Views :
- Average Views :
- Followers :
- Favorites :
- Ratings :
- Pages :
Leave a review
Review as of reading Chapter 13
Style: Your writing style is easy to digest and overall simple on the eyes. Nothing too fancy or words too confusing. Your language is clear and concise.
Story: I like the initial premise although it has been done before by other authors. By far, I would say this is the most simple and well executed standard world transition
Grammar: Couple of errors here and there, mostly typos and homonym issues (ex. weather not whether, Ch. 2 ). Nothing too obvious and disruptive to read.
Character: I like the way you have characterized your MC. He's not too cunning or all for justice, he's a regular guy. While he brings his knowledge of Chinese novels from his other world, he acts with cautiousness but sincerity from what I can see. My only thing is he needs some kind of goal to achieve. While it is kind of tiring to constantly read novels of power crawling MCs trying to "reach the peak" of martial arts, it is much better to have some sort of buildup rather than no real purpose. It's honestly a little counter intuitive as setting a goal will make your story not so special, but not setting one will drastically increase the chances of wandering around aimlessly and have an MC without any real reason for exiting. It's a delicate balance that you have to find as you go along.
I really like your story and honestly hope that you continue it. I understand that it will be difficult to gain inspiration and keep up your schedule and keep your readers happy at the same time. Don't stress yourself out too much in the beginning and work towards a longer goal. You label your chapters with 3 digits. so let your first goal be to continue this story to 100 chapters. From there, try to increase the goal further and further. Your story has a lot of potential, don't give up! :)
This is a pretty good story, I'm enjoying reading it. One thing has been bothering me from the start however. Many times, pretty much at least once a chapter, the author has their mc rationalize limiting his own advancement by saying being noticed as exceptional would be dangerous, or that there are "hidden dangers" in gaining skill quickly. Now, that may or may not be the case ... unfortunately it's never explained why, or what those dangers might be. Heck, the younger, orphan, street urchin who joined at the same time as the mc is advancing much faster, and getting praise and help for doing so. Why is it not dangerous for him?
It rather comes across as a way for the author to be lazy, and not spend a little more time developing the character. That may not be the case, but if not, I'd like to see an actual reason for holding himself back, something more than a nebulous, undefined, danger, from some unknown source ...
This is not your typical cultivation story. Rather it is a commedy, with a lot of charm.
That said, chapter 1 (and maybe 2? I forgot) were rather weak. But despite a rickety start it picked up steam rather quickly.
Also, it isn't clear from the description, but the MC is not ROBed, rather he dies in a fire as soon as he finishes the survey and then reincarnates as his chosen character with two full sets of memories and personalities, which he spends a week or so merging before joining the cultivator sect.
There is never any interaction nor mention of higher beings meddling or any further meddling (which is good, because those ruin stories). One could guess that a higher being was behind his transmigration, but it is only a guess.
Chapter reached: 81
Good story, like the fact that the MC is a fatty. Hope MC stays a fatty and be jovial while secretly plotting his advancement. Also I like how there is enough comedy to lighten the story.
To answer READER8916 the dangers of being exceptional and standing out are having one of the seniors lust after his technique, the skill he cultivates is very high grade if the Immortal Monk's title is anything to go by so if he is too excellent with his talent then it would be clear that he has some very powerful skill and they will torture him for it because he can't just reveal it due to the Monks seal on him so that he can't share it, as for why the orphan guy could shine and not be worried is because is not a skill that makes him exceptional he had extreme talent so all the elders would want to teach him instead of stealing whatever shit makes him OP like fattys case =D
I fucking love this novel, it has a shameless main character that doesn´t end up as a disgusting prick, like it happens in almost all cultivation books.
He is also a fatty so I can only think of this whenever I read Lord Lard.
Beautiful story.. thank you so much
All things considered I like this story very much. A Xianxia story with a protagonist that's not a horrible monster (at least so far). The protagonist is a fatty and proud. He doesn't really have all that special a cultivation potential, but preseveres through luck and persistence as well as using the system of the sect to its maximum potential.
A greater conflict seems to loom in the background, but for now (92 chapters) the story is about the slow raise in rank by an average talented if cheating cultivator.
There's two parts I don't like about this story. The LITRPG system feels forced onto the world and on the story. It doesn't mesh well and it seems to serve no purpose but to tabulate the MCs growth. The story could have done without.
Apart from that I dislike how the reincarnation/transmigration background of the MC doesn't matter at all. Honestly the story could have done without. If you write a transmigration story the alternate world background of the MC should influence their interactions with their environment. That doesn't seem to be happening here at all, or if it happens it's just the general paranoia of the MC.
Overall a great cultivation story, but it could have done without these rather pointless elements.
Interesting take on the reincarnated cultivator and it has a strange logic to it. A fat cultivator makes perfect sense, the strength difference between someone at peak physical condition and a weakling is erased by inner strength but a larger body is still tougher. So why waste time that could be used cultivating building muscles?
'Nuff said. Needs a bit of proofreading though, best to have another person do so.
p.s. This is not a fan fiction, as it is not set in the world of any specific story or uses characters from another author's book.
I love this story. I don't really mind so much about skipping ahead in years because the book would need to progress at some point but sometimes in some instances it does take away from the story somehow. Like when he was working on the tantric seals. Other than that I absolutely LOVE this story. Keep up the good work!