Now... He is transported to another world. How will he react to this world?
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Sooo... I saw all these good reviews... thought to myself, Hey this must be a good story. If not, I can at least give it a try...
Starts out a little rough but that is okay, that can be worked on.
Then as the story progesses the problems in the story become increasingly obvious, and the author either does not address the problems, or feels it is okay to leave them be...
Lets tick off a few shall we....
No depth.... literally, every character feels beyond passive. in a sense of, Oh that happened, okay. Or What I have to do so and so.... alright.
Then, we have the MC... who is hard to describe... he is a "pro gamer" who became a billionaire playing games... then transported to another world keeping his money... He gives the money away, en-masse, frequently.. like, 60 mil to his brothers and sisters each year as allowance or something.
Then in the new world, he mimicks fighting he saw in games, and kicks peoples butts.... okay, I can deal with that, nothing major there.... Add on that he is also OP. Again I am okay with this... except he is Uber passive... Like, hey your soul can be enslaved and that is kinda a common thing on this world, you should strengthen it. Okay, then he does not do that, except for like 8 hours....
Random battle where 3000 people fight against 80,000 battalions.......
Big surprise, he lost... bigger surprise, they killed a ton of the enemy.
Time-skip, survived, mysterious ritual, found OP teacher.... Montage....
time-skip 2-1/2years later... He is not slighty stronger... I say slightly, because in an 8 hour time frame he went from level 1 to 20. but in 2-1/2years he went from level 20 to 198.
Finally back on track, MC will start showing us that he is rich, what money can do. Awesomeness maybe?
1st thing, he sees poor people begging for money, saying their guild is about to be closed... sounds like they are either really weak or bad at business. (merchants guild)
What does he do? He gives them 1mil silver... because they asked for it... (from a total stranger)
Then, big commotion, people questioning where the money came from... what does he do.....
He pulls out another million silver... to show he gave it to them.... How is he not robbed/killed immediately? or at least soon?
They make him guild leader... okay, whatever.... Big surprise here... Guild is loaded with debt, that he now needs to pay off... which, of course, he does.
Noble/merchant/thug person comes to guild, complains that he wanted the guild. demands he hands over guild? (really? this is legal?) AAAAaaaaaand....
MC kills him, and all his guards... burns their bodies....
I read up to chapter 17.... I could not push on further into this mess of a story....
I recommend avoiding it... I mean. Everything is 1-dimensional, and at no point did I feel like there was any planning involved in the making of this.....
I didnt notice any spelling errors but you sorry needs fleshing out. Its very bare. I dont feel any connection to the characters at all. Your chapters are very short. You could easily double the chapter length by adding it details and making the scenes with chatacter interactions feel more real.
Typically, I don’t trust bad reviews that often since I know the story could be good and better than what is depicted, as far as I love Isekai’s, I would literally read anything even it is cliche.
I do love the concept, but...
I feel sorry about my mind.
I only managed to pass through several chapters since I could understand whatever english it is, be it gibberish or broken.
What I dislike about your story is, it is too linear!
From what I understand, protagonist seems to be TOO overly passive. It’s like he had never gained anything from the modern world except for games and stuff. Gamers are known to be highly aggressive but this one? Naaa... I don’t feel the ‘competitive’ professional gamer who won several thousands of billions just from gaming from this guy.
I get it that he is generous, but to what extent? Even God has his limits on his generousity (considering he didnt give us humans immortality.). But this guy, oh boy. He is much generous than God.
I find it really confusing for people in the town to not to try ROB him. He is clearly showing his money off!!! Commoners aren’t passive people except if they are facing a nobleeee aaaaaa
Cliche, unoriginal script. Nobles abusing their power and demands everything knowing money could do anything. Please stop that, it’s becoming and becoming much unoriginal.
Alright, recreation of 300 except its 3000 against over a thousand enemies. Grand battle right there, MC takes part.
They lost?hejenshahbabw then they managed to cull their numbers greatlyahanamawkoqm
Third problem is the time skip,
‘Time skip? That’s fine, so what happend after two years? Oh, you gained levels, what kind of monster you faced..?’
I don’t know, there is no in-depth explanation neither a whole chapter explaining about it, or I am too stupid because every chapter is cramped and hard to read. It’s like every chapter is just an en-masse of words. Clusterfunk.
Pacing is too much, linear characters is not a must in creation of a novel and isekais require more work than needed... I am sorry I hope you become a better writer from this.
- Nice opening, but story feel like skipping around. From weakling suddenly become OP and kicking people around.
- Story become worse after MC saved, suddenly become strong with mumbo jumbo ritual. Another char show up and gone from begining, and useless guild member??
- I have no picture at all about MC summon, maybe some ilustration or explanation is needed, give them bluebox would be nice.
- I wont say much coz only read to chap 25, too confused to continue
This "story" is more a collection of random thoughts not fleshed out at all. Think a list of ideas for what is to happen but the rest of the details are never given. Zero character development, zero reason given for how characters act, zero reason given for events that happen...
I like the idea for the story but as this stands this isnt worth the effort to read.
you have a good story but you rush it waaaay too much like i mean
chapter mc is a stranger to vivian next chapter they ar best buds with no actually character progression
so i would suggest taking it alot slower
Great start, with lots of promise and it looks like it will only get better.
this is very promising novel... i just advice to put some spaces between paragraphs and conversations so that it will not look crowded; it will also make it cleaner to look... thank for the fun by making this novel...
Overall it is quite good but there is too much drama together with cliffhangers.
I also do not like the direction which this story is going. It started rather light but it is turning dark.
I had fun reading it but after some consideration after reading last (22nd) chapter, I decided to drop it.
I also think that the story has potential. Although, don't you think that the plot is moving too fast and the transportation his furniture seems too random.